Crimson Haze

Sisters

My pain, my nightmares and the nagging voice in the back of my head telling me how dumb I was for not knowing,.. for letting that b***h take my man. As if Janelle could her my thoughts she says “ I hardly consider him a man to be worthy of someone so..” she lifts my chin up and gently starts to rub the tears from my cheeks the smell of her lavender lotion calming my breathing as she continues on “..so beautiful, loving and smart honestly I think you are too good a woman for him… so he wanted an easier target….” Before I could respond Janelle blurts out with her hands flailing in the air “ and another thing what gave that B***H the right to betray you her sister!"

As she continues my thoughts trail off into another world. All I could think about for some odd reason was the day my parents accepted my sister in our home. it was like any other night I was at the top of the stairs waiting for my mom to take me to bed when we heard a loud bang on our front door, my dad hesitantly heads towards the door looking up at my mother asking her if she was expecting someone this late she shook her head no. I don’t remember what time it was just that it was storming. He opens the door and he steps back in shock and bowed to the mysterious tall man. I couldn’t make out the mans face but I could see a scared 3 year old girl with tangled black hair, her malnourished body hiding behind the mans leg her scared luminous blue eyes looking up at me. I don’t remember what was said I only remember my father and the man with the little girl heading into the study, my mother laid me down softly on my butterfly comforter set twin size bed she brushed my hair and told me to sleep soundly to ignore the thunder and softly go to sleep now .My eyes start to close as I wondered who that man was and who that little girl was and why was she scared. The next morning I woke, the man was gone and my father and mother were at the breakfast table with the little girl she was eating fruit loops with a big smile on her face my father and mother took my hands looked me in the eyes and said this is your new sister Angelique I tried to say her name but as a 6-year-old the name was hard to pronounce “Angle….angel… lick” my father laughed at the attempts I made to say her name "you can call her Angel my dear" and so Angel became my sister that day. I necer could have loved anyone more than her.

Until the day that I had found her with my boyfriend screaming his name. I ran to the room thinking she was in danger. Joke was on me I suppose. I wondered what I did to her or what I could have done to prevent this, was it forced, was she willing how long had this been going on, did she not love me, was it a fake relationship between her and I. Angel I kept repeating to myself Angel how could I call her Angel. What Angel could betray someone so viciously as these thoughts run through my head I hear Janelle repeatedly calling my name “Annie… Annie…. Earth to Annie… Did you hear anything I said” I apologize sheepishly asking for forgiveness she shook her head “don't worry about it I… I'm sorry I should have just listened to you. I wish I could take the pain away for you.” With excitement she exclaims “we can go key his car I know exactly where he parks at work.” With a forced laugh expressing my reluctance in her plans “please don't..”

My thoughts start to race in my head as if there’s another person in my head.. you know I just don't want to live through this anymore I don't want to know that my sister could betray me like that and not say anything and just act like nothing happened. As if I had nothing with him there was no connection. I look at Janelle and sigh” you know the fact that he did that to me especially with my sister even though we're not blood I've always considered her blood and I would have beaten anyone who would have said differently…..” tears start to roll down my cheeks. “T..to make her feel like she wasn't worth being my sister but now I don't know….. I don't know how to feel I just want to close my eyes and pretend none of this happened then I can have my sister back… I can have my boyfriend back….” Janelle tries to hug me but I gently push her back and sigh “you know two weeks ago before I caught them he proposed to me” “ WHAT!? Janelle says surprisingly “why didn't you say anything to me?” I pause not knowing what to say “I wasn't really ready I'm only 21 I don't really want to get married just yet but I guess my instincts were telling me no because of another reason.”

It seemed like hours had rolled by Janelle was trying to make me feel better trying to get my mind on other things and I just nodded and said yes to a lot of questions and pacified her concern for me but it did not help the pain was too real.