It’s never that easy

Chapter Twenty

We awoke still on the couch with the sun beaming through a slit in the curtains. I rubbed my eyes, opening them to a handsome face. I couldn’t help but stare at him with a massive grin on my face. He’s so handsome. He looks so peaceful asleep but I know he still has things going through his mind even if he has said it’s all over. I lifted up and kissed his nose and then his chin. He smiled not opening his eyes.

“I’m not quite awake yet.”

“Oh, no? What will wake you up then?”

“I think my lips need waking up the most.”

“Is that so?” I said hovering over his lips.

I knew he could sense me as he opened one eye to look at me. I giggled at him. I leaned down, putting my hands on his chest. I stayed hovering over him waiting for a response. That’s exactly what I got. He placed his hand on my neck and pulled me closer for us to touch. I entered my tongue into his mouth and he moaned with pleasure. But then he pulled away from me and I looked at him pouting.

“We need to get ready,” he said looking at the clock, “George and Gemma will be here in an hour.”

“Oh yeah. I forgot. Beach time.”

I got up quickly, that quick I may have hurt Jamie as I did. I was unable to control the child inside of me. I’ve not been to the beach in months. I love the sea crashing, especially when the tide has come in and the waves are thundering against the walls. It’s such a soothing sound.

When we arrived, Gemma and I ran straight onto the soft, golden sand like we were teenagers again. The boys stood over us while chatting to each other. I ran over to Jamie and handed him my sandals and ran back to the water to dip my feet in. Gemma and I splashed around, kicking the water at each other. Suddenly, these big, strong arms took a hold of me and twirled me around. Jamie put me back down and we kissed. He bent down and flicked some water over me.

“Oh, it’s like that is it? You’ve started a war now handsome!”

We all had a water fight which felt like forever. It’s been great up to now. We headed back to the car to dry off before heading to the restaurant for some lunch. delicious doesn’t even cut it for the food we got served. It was magnificent. We laughed and reminisced about the past. Mainly Gemma winding Jamie up about his player ways back in the day.

“Hey! It worked didn’t it?”

I slapped him on the arm, giving him a stern look.

“What? I’m a changed man. I would never drift.”

“I should hope not. You have a great girl in Keira. She is the best thing to ever happen to you.”

I know Gem. Why would I when I have everything,” he said smiling at me, “someone who cooks, cleans and takes the rubbish out,” he continued laughing.

again, I slapped him on the arm, but I had to laugh with him.

“You know that’s not true. I wouldn’t want you any other way but the loving, kind woman I have fallen madly, deeply in love with.”

I grabbed his cheeks and brought him down for a kiss.

“Pass me the sick bucket George.”

“Oh ha ha Gemma. He can’t help falling in love with me. I am perfection after all,” I laughed.

“You are to me baby.”

“I love you too numpty.”

“Right! Ice cream time,” Gemma declared rubbing her hands together.

We paid the bill and headed back outside to the beach front to find an ice cream shop. When we found one, I ended up getting vanilla cheesecake, which by the way is absolutely delicious, Jamie was boring with chocolate chip cookie flavour, George and Gemma had the same with bubble-gum flavour. After receiving our ice creams we went to the beach and Gemma and I sat on the wall while the boys stood in front of us.

“Babe, come sit next to me?” Gemma asked.

Of course Gemma has George well trained and he sat on the wall with his legs up so Gemma could lean into him. Jamie walked closer to me and stood between my legs, looking at me while he’s eating his ice cream.

“Want a try babe?” I asked.

“Sure,” he said leaning towards my cone.

But little did he know I went and splatted it onto his face. I of course started laughing my head off at him, as did Gemma and George.

“It’s like that is it? Hope you can finish what you started princess.”

“Don’t you worry about that!”

Jamie suddenly put his finger through his ice cream and wiped it all over my cheeks. We both started to put ice cream all over each other, laughing as we did.

“You two are unbelievable.”

“What Gem? You know us. We never do anything simple.”

“You can say that again,” she laughed.

Jamie grabs hold of my waist and pulls me closer to him. He hugs me wrapping his arms around me. I can’t help but lick a bit of the ice cream off his face.

“It tastes a lot better with Jamie in it,” I smirked.

“Oh it does now?”

Jamie suddenly puts more ice cream on my lips and licks it off which of course turns into a loving kiss.

“Yeah you’re right. It does taste better with the better half in it,” he smiled at me.

“If you two are finished, can we go now?”

“Yes let’s”

As Jamie helped me off the wall I couldn’t help myself and covered his nose with my cone. He wiped it off and started chasing me to the car. He grabbed me just before I could get in and twirled me around to face him. He leaned in for a kiss but he still had a little ice cream on his nose, so he wiped his face all over my neck.

“I think we may need a shower when we get home, what do you say?” I said winking at him.

“You don’t need to ask me twice.”

“Come on you guys get in!”

Jamie and I sat in the back and I leaned on him. I yawned and closed my eyes for a second. When I opened them again I was on the couch at home.

“Jamie?”

“Hey sleepyhead. You was conked out so I thought I would pick you up and bring you in rather than disturb you.”

“You are amazing.”

“I know,” he laughed.

“Thanks for today. I really had a great time.”

“You’re worth it.”

“Cheese much?”

We both laugh and headed to bed for his reward.

***

Another couple of weeks has passed. What an amazing time too. No dramas, no other women in our way and most of all no Tessa. Last I heard of her, she was on the mend. I let him check up on her once a week, for his own peace of mind so he rings up the place where she is.

We’re currently out shopping for Christmas. It’s our first Christmas as a couple and in our own place. We’ve picked out a new tree and decorations. I thought we would go with the elegant look and I chose silver and light blue.

“Babe! We done?”

“Yes Jamie. Tree, check. Decorations, check. Lastly gifts, check.”

“Even mine?”

“Oh no. I’m getting yours tomorrow when you’re not with me. And believe me, one of your presents you will want to unwrap very quickly,” I winked at him.

“Damn woman. You sure know how to tease a man.”

“If you’re good, I may let you unwrap early,” I grinned.

“Yes please,” he said grabbing my hips.

“Down boy. You need to earn this body.”

“Um, girl. What are you doing to me?”

I kissed him on the lips, teasing him and walked slowly towards the car.

“You’re leaving me like that?” he asked holding his arms out.

I looked over my shoulder and blew him a kiss. Suddenly, he started running towards me. I ran to the car but he caught me ten feet away. He grabbed me and picked me up against the car. He looked into my eyes as I wrapped my legs around him and put my hands on his cheeks. I leaned down to him and kissed him passionately.

“Home?” he asked shifting his eyebrows seductively.

We quickly loaded the car and headed home as quickly as we possibly could. But we got caught up in traffic. I started to stroke Jamie’s hand and arm while we waited.

“Stop or I will have no choice but to pull over and do you right here in this car.”

“Hum. Sounds like a nice idea to me.”

Jamie quickly turned the steering wheel and drove us into a derelict ally way. He turned the engine off and turned towards me, taking my lips prisoner. I pulled away and climbed on top of him. I pulled the two levers which moved the seat backwards and lowered it down so we were nearly lying down.

We rushed the whole thing, taking our clothes off and chucking them onto the back seat. I grabbed hold of his man hood, getting him hard, ready for him to insert into me, but I didn’t have to. He was already hard for me. I couldn’t wait any longer and I forced him into me. The pleasure was unbearable that my nails were digging into the headrest as my breasts hit Jamie in the face a couple of times as I moved wildly on top of him. He grabbed one of my arse cheeks with his hand and another on my breast, holding it for his mouth to suck on my hard n****e. It was over within a few moments. We were that hungry for each other, it didn’t last for long. The excitement was just enough for us to have what we needed. I leaned down and kissed him. I moved to his ear and whispered, “same again later?”

“Most definitely!”

I leaned over him to grab my clothes as he stroked over my body again, slapping my behind.

“Down boy! Save it for later.”

“Spoil sport.”

We made ourselves look presentable and headed home, again. I grabbed the post on my way in, noticing a letter from the facility Tessa is staying in addressed to me. What now? I thought this was all over with.

I gave all the bags to Jamie to unload while I opened the letter.

Dear Keira,

Please don’t chuck this letter away. I’m writing to you to apologise for my actions. I should never have tried to take Jamie away from you. I now know I have been ill and needed help. I am so sorry that I came at you with a knife and I hope that one day you can forgive me for that. That is why I’m writing to you. A part of my programme is to ask for forgiveness from the people I have wronged.

This next thing is very hard to write and I am terribly sorry for what I’ve done. What we’ve done. I will totally understand if you was to never forgive me, but I need to be honest to get better. The night you first met me, Jamie and I actually slept together. I’m sorry to tell you if you didn’t already know. But know this, we were both very drunk and emotional at the time. He regretted it as soon as he woke up the next day.

Again I am very sorry and I hope you forgive me one day.

Tessa

After reading that I dropped everything I had in my hands, including the letter and headed straight upstairs to pack. I am certainly not staying here. I phoned my mother, placing my phone between my ear and shoulder while I packed.

“Mum, I’m coming to stay for a while. Please don’t ask. I’m bringing Bruno so I’ll place him away from your dog.”

“Okay honey.”

I hung up and placed my phone in my back pocket of my jeans. I heard Jamie coming up the stairs, shouting of me in a panic. I quickly ran to the bedroom door and locked it so he couldn’t get in.

“Keira open the door. Let me explain.”

“No need to explain. I think Tessa has wrote it all. Now I get why she turned psycho all of a sudden. You had your chance to come clean a long time ago. You had s*x with that b***h while you have been with me.”

“It meant nothing to me babe. Please. I was f****d up. I didn’t know what I was doing.”

“f**k off Jamie. You knew what you was doing. You can’t blame anyone but yourself.”

I finished packing, unlocked the door and headed downstairs, walking straight past him. I ran into the kitchen and put on Bruno’s lead and headed to the front door.

“I’m not letting you go!” Jamie demanded standing in front of the door stopping me.

“You have no choice. This is it. You have lost me now. I never thought you could do this to me. I guess you’re the same old Jamie.”

“Never. I never want to be him again. You have made me into a better man.”

“Obviously not that good, otherwise you would never have done this to me.”

“I was going to tell you but then everything happened, with me realising how much I loved you and needed your help for me to see things differently about Bangers. I didn’t want to lose you.”

“Well, you have now. How can I trust you? You’ve kept this from me for so long. You should have told me straight away. We could have worked through it. Together. Now I don’t know. You’ve lied to me for so long. It hurts. How can I ever see you the way I did before?”

“Baby please! Don’t leave me!” he cried trying to grab me as I pushed him out of my way.

I loaded the car up with my case and placed Bruno onto the passenger’s seat. I got in after him without hesitating. As I drove away, I glanced back to Jamie in the mirror. He was on the floor with his hands covering his face. I drove as quickly as possible to my parent’s. Tears filling my eyes, making everything blurry. The quicker I get to my parent’s, the quicker I can let it all out.

I arrived and headed straight to my old room with Bruno. Suddenly, there was a knock on my door and my mother walked in.

“I’m just checking you don’t need anything?”

I just shook my head while I face planted my pillow.

“Okay honey. I’ll leave you be. I’m downstairs if you need me.”

All I wanted to do was go to sleep and forget what’s just happened. It didn’t take long for me to drift off to sleep while hugging Bruno and even in my dreams I couldn’t get away from it. I dreamt that I walked in on them both doing it in our bed. They looked at me, laughed and carried on while I watched. Tessa looked at me, smirking over Jamie’s shoulder.

I quickly sat up sweating, panicking that I’ve lost him forever. I don’t want to end it but how can I ever forgive him. I know he was in a bad place at the time but that is no excuse for him not telling me this whole time.

I grabbed my phone from the bedside cabinet and saw I had a couple of messages from Jamie.

Please come home so we can talk. It meant nothing to me. X

Please. I need to see you. You’re my everything. I can’t live without you. I won’t be able to function. I need you. Please baby. I love you. X

I decided to message him. Not expecting to get anything back straight away.

Do you love her?

No. I love you and only you X

He must be waiting for me, for him to message me back so quickly. Maybe he can’t get any sleep. I know how he gets when he’s worried and anxious.

Why did you do it?

I don’t recall baby. I was drunk. I know I shouldn’t use it as an excuse. Please can I see you? It’ll be easier. X

No. I’m not ready.

Please. I don’t want to message you. I want to see your face. X

Straight after I read that message, my phone rang with him wanting to video chat. I declined. I know what I’m like. If I see his face, I will forgive him there and then. I need him to understand there are always consequences for his actions.

???

No. If I see you I will give in too easily.

In the end he ended up sending me voice messages. Even hearing his voice sent me into confusion. My heart is in two. It’s hurting but fluttering at the same time. I just don’t know what to do. He said how much he misses me already and that he feels like a part of him has left a hole in his heart. He dreads he will never get it back.

I sat listening to his pleas while looking over some photos of us together. We look so happy but how can one couple have so much trouble, so much drama? A lot has happened in the past year. I swiped on my phone to a photo taken when we were at the beach a couple of weeks ago. There’s one of us kissing, standing in the sea, one of me kissing his cheek, one with Gemma and George, but my favourite one of us covered in ice cream and one of me licking his face.

I didn’t want to torment myself anymore so I decided to turn my phone off completely. This way he can’t get hold of me and I won’t look at photos of us both.

After an hour of looking at the ceiling, my eyes finally felt heavy and my body and mind let me drift off to sleep once again.

I felt better this morning. I woke up feeling determined to get this sorted. I don’t know if I’m making the right choice in doing this though. I walked out of my parent’s house to find Jamie asleep in his car on the street in front of my parent’s. I asked my mother how long he had been there for but she said he was there when she had woken up herself. I walked down to him and tapped on the window. He jumped out of his skin. He looked alarmed and wound his window down.

“Keira?”

“What are you doing here Jamie?”

“Waiting for you. I will stay here for however long it takes for you to talk to me. I will do anything for you.”

“Anything?”

“Yes anything.”

“Okay you can take me somewhere.”

He looked at me puzzled but did as I asked. I’ve somehow ended up in front of the facility where Tessa is getting her treatment. I just want answers, so I thought about speaking to Tessa. I can hopefully get the full story out of her. I just hope I will get all the answers that I need and that me being here doesn’t send her on edge. I just want to hear what she has to say. To see if it’s exactly what Jamie told me in the car on the way here. He questioned why I wanted to see her but once I explained that I want to hear her side of things he got why I needed to speak to her.