Me and Him

What's your name

He was still deep in his laptop when I got in, this gave me a chance to look at him even more, and

from this perception, I had an off-class view of him. Oh, my Gad, I gara say, he was damn good,

you know those kinds of beards that flows through the jawlines and some trimmed side buds to go

with that alignment? And then he was on this unofficial Saturday wear. A plain white t-shirt and a

pair of blue jeans, the standard party wear for cool guys. By the time I realized that my eyes wear

moving all over him, he had stopped what he was doing and was staring at me. I blushed out, damn

it, what was I doing? I manned up, looked back at him, he sensed my relentlessness, eased a little

then asked for my name, I told him, stumbling upon some letters, he asked for the full name, I

paused, looked at him, gave him the two, he asked for the surname, I paused even more, (trust me

I was not going to give him my surname, for what?). He looked at me, waiting for an answer, I

repeated the two, he looked up, half impatient, half playful, asked me again, I refused. He got

impatient, asked for my paper (oh men, this was not what I had seen this meeting go like, actually

it was all opposite what I wanted). I handed him the paper, he went through it in silence, then

corrected some grammar I had written wrong with a red pen. He then threw the paper on top of a

pile of other papers same as mine then folded his arms on top of his desk looking at me. (this is it,

now I get what I wanted, his number- I told myself).

“So, you have refused to tell me your surname,” he said playfully.

“no am not telling”

“ok, but you realize that I mark your CATs, right?”

“Yeah, but I still won’t write it on your paper”

He smiled, I smile back. YES! my heart screamed. This was actually the best moments I have ever

had with a lecturer in my entire life, I promised myself to write it in my diary that night. Sensing

the immediate awkward moment, I said,

“I can give you if you give me your number?”

SHIT, s**t, s**t….

What am I thinking, what did I just do, what, why, who, how, questions filled my mind, I felt

overcrowded. I just stood there, unable to talk, then in one of the calmest way, he responded,

5

“no am gonna pass on that” then, as if to break my heart to more shutter pieces, he added, “you

may close the door on your way out”

SHIT, s**t, s**t….

That completely killed me, my future family, my future generation and all my imaginations. I was

blank and hurt so bad. That night, I didn’t talk to my roommate who by now had started realizing

a change in my normal ways. She tried to cheer me up to attend this event in school but I just

couldn’t go anywhere, I was too hurt to do anything. I wrote my diary, telling on how I had amazing

expectations that didn’t go as planned and how my crush had made me feel worse than ever. How

I wish that he was not older than me, or better still, not my lecturer. Sunday was always the longest

day for me, I woke up, did some light washing, since my heart was too sick to do anything, then

went back to sleep. I watched some episodes of empire, sang with Jamal, then slept. I didn’t feel

like going to class the next day, so I didn’t. I mean, why should I? there was no need to go back

again, actually, I was feeling sick, I needed a doctor, but not just a normal doctor, a heart doctor. I

regained myself in the evening after some friends from class came to visit me and told me that the

lecturer asked where I was. First of all, let's get things straight here, men who the hell bewitched

you? Just the other day he was chasing me away and now he is asking for me? in class? so, it

turned out that he was asking some questions and as he got excited about how people were

answering the question, he accidentally called a lady my name. The lady was shocked, so to cover

up his tracks, he had asked where I was. And second, if he is able to call someone else my name,

that means he was thinking of me, right? Do we all agree? Good. Now I just had to go and see him

on Wednesday and look for evidence, I was prepared. Wednesday came fast, so I woke up, wore

a pencil (to all you guys who don’t know what that is, it’s a kind of a trouser - I mean, we don’t

walk around wearing the things you write with) and a pink top. I wasn’t in the mood to look hot

and sexy today, so I just didn’t. As always, I arrived late, I realized his gaze on me as I went to sit

down at the back and even though he was trying not to look at me when I walked, I felt like he did,

trust me he did, we know when you guys do, we feel it. As I sat down, I friend of mine handed me

my assignment paper, marked, a 9 over 10 written on top of it somewhere there. Well, at least I

got something good from my crush, a good mark. As he continued to teach, I got buried into my

world of imagination again. When the lecture was about to end, he stressed on us looking at the

assignment and going over the questions that we wronged over and over again to make sure we

don’t get them wrong again. So I decided to open my paper and look at that single question that

made me fail, then there I saw it, written in red, right between the lines, commented as a mistake,

was the writing “hey, this is my number, now give me your surname” it then followed some ten

very precious digits all in red, I looked up and met his eyes, a sign that he was also staring at me,

I LOST IT.