Decision making
1622 Words
She sat on the couch and looked at the wall.
Caroline sat next to her.
"Sweetheart" she started "I don't think he meant to hurt you. I think he was just trying to help. How could he know what to do when you don't ?"
"Well, at least I don't make him do stuff and go places he doesn't know about"
"You know his upbringing is different. Maybe that's the way he always lived. Did you talk about it?"
"We fought about it."
Caroline looked at her with her sweet look.
"I know. Fighting is not talking… but I don't even know what I want. How can I tell him something I don't know?"
"Like you just did"
She went upstairs and found Nathan actually folding their clothes and putting them in the drawers.
Cara didn't even know he knew how to fold clothes.
"We need to talk" she said, making him jump.
"I need to apologize" he replied "I really should've asked you to come, or at least told you what I planned. Sorry for not letting you in in decisions about you"
"Yeah well, that's just the tip of the iceberg. We really need to talk"
He nodded and followed her outside. But before she left the property to the beach, Alex parked in front of her and rushed out of the car.
"Cara! Nathan! What are you doing here?"
Cara hugged him quickly.
"Surprise" she said, forcing a smile
"What's wrong?"
"Later" she said, grabbing Nathan's hand and dragging him to the beach.
"I'm sorry I got mad" she started
"Don't be. You were right"
"No. You were just trying to help. The way you do it is.. questionable, but you were trying to help. Right?"
He nodded
They walked along the water, still holding hands. Then she stopped and looked at him.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do. I didn't want kids till I'm 30 at least! This is new to me, I… my life is always a planned bazaar. This is not part of my organization."
"Was marrying me part of it?"
She smiled. A little.
"No. But technically we're not married. But you're right. The difference is, sorry if it's harsh but it's true, you can end a relationship and a marriage. You can't quit a child when it's your own."
He hugged her and said "I know. But you can't get rid of it without thinking about it either"
She stepped back.
"See, that's not why I got mad. Of course I wasn't gonna terminate it just like that. But you were talking as if it were your decision. And it's not. However much it is our decision, in the end, it's mine and only mine."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to"
"I know" she said, playing with the sand on her feet. "But it hurt. And like I said, I don't know what I wanna do and I don't need you making me feel guilty of something I don't know about"
"I'm really sorry. I honestly thought you… I've always wanted kids, and when you told me you were pregnant, of course it was a surprise, of course it was weird, but I… am okay with it. And in the end, if you don't want to, then I'll be okay with it too. I love you"
They turned around and walked their way backwards along the beach.
"Thank you. And don't ever take me places or make me do things I don't know about"
"Deal"
"I love you" she said, hugging him
"Me too"
And then they got back to the house.
"So?" Alex asked as soon as they stepped inside.
"So?" The couple repeated
"Mom won't say why you're here"
"Give me a few days" Cara replied, tapping his shoulder.
She got upstairs, letting him try to "get it out" of Nathan.
The following day, she guided Nathan through the city and the cities around, making him visit every spot she knew about.
And obviously, they ate in restaurants where she would never imagine herself eating at before, with her mom.
"We can't tell Alex" Caroline said
"Hell yes we can" Cara replied
"No, he always wanted to come here. And he wanted to invite his girlfriend for her birthday"
"Wait a… Alex has a girlfriend?" Cara asked
"Yeah he says they're just friends but they've been 'friends' for years now"
"Mama. You know people really can be friends. Did you think Stuart and I were dating?"
"No. I can see when friends are friends or more. Like with you two"
"Hey. Not related at all but I just noticed, you're A B and C" Nathan said
The Moore ladies stared at him.
He paid and asked the woman at the counter to charge him for Alex and his friend when they came.
"Alex Ben and Cara. But why is it ACB?"
Both ladies stopped smiling and walked towards the house. Cara grabbed Nathan by the arm and walked with him a little slower to get behind her mom.
"I'll tell you later okay?"
He nodded as she squeezed his arm, thinking about it.
"Remember I told you my dad died when I was 6?"
He nodded
They went back to walking along the beach.
"Well… when he died, mama was pregnant, with Ben. But his name wasn't Ben yet. Actually your ABC theory is real. I had a big brother named Ben. Just not in the same order. He was with my dad when the car got hit by the truck"
Her eyes started filling up.
"That's why I never drink. The driver was drunk as a skunk and he was working. My dad was just picking Ben up from school. He was 8."
Nathan squeezed her in his arm as she cried.
"I'm sorry" he said after some time "I know, I have nothing to be sorry for, except making decisions for you without your knowledge" he added, making her smile. "So your mom raised you alone and after losing a child?" He asked
She nodded.
"What a brave woman" he said, making her nod again.
She knew about all of this and Alex and herself always tried to make it easier for her, but never actually did anything to make her understand how proud they were of her. So along with taking the pros and cons of keeping the baby, Cara started thinking about something they could actually do for her as her kids.
Nathan flew Ben to Perth and Cara and Alex invited all of their family and friends over while Nathan kept Caroline away from home with his questions about what to buy Cara.
And as they arrived, everyone shouted "surprise".
"Ben?" Caroline said, seeing her youngest child in the middle of the crowd before running to hug him.
"Everyone is here" she said "wow, why, what's going on?" She asked, looking around
"Just… thank you" Cara said, kissing her
"For what?"
"Being our mom" she said
"And our friend" Ben added
"We just wanted you to know that we are proud of you and proud to have you as our mom" Alex finished before they all hugged her
"Oh babies" Caroline cried "I am proud to be your mom. Even though now you're all grown up. Not you" she pointed at Ben who smiled
"We love you" they said
"I love you too. Wow. You didn't have to do that"
And so they spent the day talking with everyone and enjoying some food and drinks.
"It was you wasn't it?" Caroline asked her daughter as they were cleaning up.
"Me what?"
"This. Is it because Nathan asked about…"
"Yeah" Cara said "but also we really should've done that a long time ago."
They sat on the couch.
"Even though we knew, you still acted like everything's okay when it wasn't. I mean, we were kids, but we would've understood. You lost dad and your kid. We lost our dad and brother, but we didn't know that much about what it meant other than he wasn't there anymore. But you still kept playing and smiling and traveling and taking care of us like nothing had happened. And until today, I have not seen you let go"
Cara's eyes were filling up again.
"Is it painful? To keep yourself from feeling?"
Caroline nodded but didn't say anything.
"Are you ever gonna let it out?"
"I don't think I can" she replied
Cara hugged her.
"I love you" she told her "you deserve the world. And I'm sorry"
"For what?"
"Sorry I remind you of that moment everytime I go to work"
"You…"
"No, I know. I'm sorry. That's how I let it out, but I know"
"How?"
Cara looked at her, saddened.
Everytime she goes to work, she puts herself in danger. And she knows that everyday, Caroline hopes nothing happens to her.
"I just do. I'll try to be less reckless. I promise"
"Yeah, yeah, why aren't you helping clean up?" Alex said, getting to the living room where they were alone.
"Cause I'm pregnant" she said, making him literally drop the broom.
"You are?" He asked, grabbing it back from the floor.
Cara nodded as Caroline smiled.
"Wait so that's why you're here"
"Meh, a little bit more complicated than that. But yeah"
"Congratulations ! I think?"
Cara smiled and nodded.
He got back out and a few seconds later, Nathan ran inside.
The two women laughed as he almost hit the door.
"Why is Alex congratulating me?" He asked
Cara just nested in her mother's arms.
"Wait. Does it mean what I think it means?"
Caroline nodded and he jumped, almost to the roof.
- Writer
