Fate, My Elementals & I (Breaking Borders)

Dear Diary II

Dear Diary,

It's the beginning of May, it was unknown the exact date of my birth however, Fero always grants me one request during this month. He stated I was presumably three weeks old when he first saw my picture, which in turn made him decide I was born sometime mid May. I had no complaints nor care as it was only a reminder that I was separated from my birth parents. Fero for all intents and purposes was my father. He makes a great one, but refuses to let me call him the honorific. He stated, he saved me in accordance to what he was commanded to do, but I did have a sire and he could not replace him. So in turn I respected his wish, but in time I realised he was more like an older brother. Wise, kind, protective and spoils me.

I know I must come up with a plan of some sort. I have to meet with the boys. Many, has been pushing me to tell Fero the truth, not to go alone, but I don't want a chaperone during our reunion. I want to sit with them, chat, maybe even go shopping, like a regular girl. I want to feel that adoration again, we have barely met, then the tit for tat with mister icy, but I saw something in all there eyes that I know I will never experience from any other. Sure, many Fatum care for me, respect me but even they are nothing compared to my elementals. They are one with me, as I am with them. I even accepted that if none of them was my fated, when he did come into our life, he will have to understand our relationship and adjust accordingly.

For years I have been eagerly awaiting when I won't feel so alone anymore. Seeing others come of maturity and finding each other I am happy as their ruler, who doesn't want their subjects happy, but as a teenage girl, I was lonely. The younger Fatum and half breeds revere me as a queen, but they will see me as just a teenage girl. I am not so chubby anymore rather I am curvy and voluptuos , at least that's what I heard one of the younger half breeds describe me as.

Fero has done a great job of protecting and sheilding me from most of the world and as he considers it, their perversions. He bestowed upon me knowledge while all Fatum happily wait and accept their fated, they do not see the purpose in staying chaste. Prior to maturity they experience all they wish to via experimenting. There is no rule that you must mate with alike cores as well. Should you be an earth Fatum, you are not restricted from experimenting with a shape shifter, should you be fated to one outside your core distinguished abilities, then once the bond was completed and seed is brought forward, there is still no way to be sure what type of Fatum, they will become. Most of the times, once both are of the same type, more than likely their seed will be the same. Being cheeky I asked how many lovers he's had............ the look I received. One word, chills. He informed me that his only will be his fated. He did not believe in sharing himself, also further cemented his point by adding, he could feel what others were feeling and that made it, that less appealing to him. His fated would definitely be a sheild. He would have the freedom to express himself phsycally with his partner like any other Fatum, not worrying about an onslaught of the other's deepest aura. Catering to his partner would not be a chore, as compared to his everyday schedule where women both Fatum and human, make him feel burdened with their admiration.

When Fero talks about these types of things he always gets a far away look, a sad one mostly. I wanted to read his mind once, quite tempted actually. He was sitting on a large moss covered boulder, out amongst the tress. It was down time, but me trying to be a busy bee and not think about those who I missed dearly, I went in search of him, for honestly, I don't remember. Attempting to sneak up on him, believing I could get away with claiming I was practicing my stealth. Approaching as cautiously and slowly as possible, clamping down my emotions, should his aura pick up on me, I saw him just staring at nothing in particular. The angle of the sun rays slipping through the thick leaves, seemed to be bending to his will, covering him in a glow, making the scene turn into a picture, I'm sure would go for millions at an auction. Then a single tear slid down his face, landing in his well groomed lengthy beard. Seeing this mammoth of a man strong, brave, true and honest all my life, cry, made me want to as well. His wide chest was exposed to nature, his long golden hair down brushing his shoulder blades, which were slumped at the moment, blowing wildy along with the wind. Eyes wide and tear filled. This was not the man I saw every day. I wished in that moment that I could invade his mind know what was hurting him so much, reverse the pain if I could. The sorrow rolling off him, nearly sent me to my knees. He was my only family and he looked so alone. He was my mountain and now I had to be his. I chose not to break his trust and respect his privacy, but not to leave him alone. I approached regularly and just wrapped my arms around him, well as far as I can go, he is broad, resting my forehead on the crease on his back. He didn't say anything, neither did I at the time. After what felt like hours, when it was probably only a few mintues, he took a deep breath in and let it out slowly. I felt the tension roll off him, while he tugged me to come in front of him.

"Did you read my mind?" he asked, not sounding angry at all, but curious. Guess, I can still surprise him. I wanted to grin and gloat, but looking at his face, knwoing it was not the time, I only shook my head no, replying, "I was tempted to, but that is your story to tell me, only when your ready." He smiled then, a rare one, and embraced, nope, swallowing me more like it. The curtain he called his mane, inclusive of his impressive beard, pretty much blanketed me. I chuckled at the tight hold letting him know that he wreaked and his chest hair was tickling my face. He let go, straigtening up, to inform me that he sensed my mischeivous intent and could pinpoint my direction. Launching into a lecture about controlling my emotions, I saw that he was going to be okay now. After his rant, he asked what I wanted this year as a gift.

I am now coming to the conclusion that I have to use this open invitation to meet the boys. Bring them back, and finally be honest about everything to all my loved ones.

Seal.........................................................

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Dear Diary,

Its the day before THE DAY!!!!!

We arrived at Chicago Midway International Airport today. I was buzzing with anticipation from the moment the aeroplane landed all the way to our hotel. Tomorrow I am all set to do the tourist thing as I told Fero. He was definitely suspicious as to why I was adamant about here. I don't him it was an unexplainable feeling I had. My request was simple. I told him I wanted to go to Chicago and walk around like any regular girl, shopping and site seeing. Simple as that, with no Fatum following me. At first he was upset and stated at least one shape shifter could accompany me as a bird in case of any trouble, I simply reminded him that I was in fact a powerful queen, in complete control of my powers and proficient in self defence to beat him. He accepted my confidence, reluctantly and backed off. I, however, am going to our meeting spot and wait for them as early as posible. I even charted out the trains I need to take to get to South Side. The auditorium itself is no longer operational, but I can just stand there. I'm sure they won't keep me waiting long.

Alive and unsettled, I have turned over my closet settling on a relaxed, yet cute outfit, so if we were to do any activities during our alone time together, I will be dressed for everything. A small part of me hopes they notice the effort I made. I know I am being silly however over the years, I have realised that I do have a crush on them. I felt it completely normal as they occupy my free thinking time. It felt like an obessession at first, but now I accept that they are indeed mine. Acceptance of a great many things came after that.

I think I want them to see me as I am, so minimal make up, slight eye shadow and lip gloss. I already look like I have permanent mascara on, so that should be fine. My nest, as I refer to my hair, is another issue. I usually just put it up into a bun. The length is a lot to handle now, but I believe I look best with it down. I need them to see my best. So when I break the news of my eleven year old thoughts they won't be too upset with me.

With all this excitement, I remember my core latching onto them, stretching as far as it could go until we all left the vicinity, going our separate ways, to our own lives, slightly dampened my mood. I knew by looking at them who needed me more than the other to accept them. Listening to their little grumblings, the asian and the hispanic clearly didn't live in the best environments, but I am sure they had friends and lives they weren't prepared to leave behind to go live in a forested habitat and work out everyday.

No, I must remain positive. They will all have accomplished great things. Know they had an opportunity to live some of their lives for themselves. Being attached to me came with a lot of work, devotion and imminent war. I didn't know how to sell that when we first met, but now I am sure they will be more open and understnding. I believe I am more articulate now as well. I would be smoothe about it. Convincing them that they are indeed going to be the most important addition to us, should be easy. I won't be lying exactly, Fero did stress about if I found my elementals, an army may not be needed or at the very least, the bloodshed will be limited. They will boost me, and together we could overthrow the traitor. Restore order.

Okay, so I will save the heavy conversation for last. I will start off with some mere histories of our kind, then work my way up to the great divide, then the coup. My conscience was quite agitated with this plan. Nagging about letting Fero do his job. She just wants him with me. I don't understand to be honest. They are mine, how or why should I allow anyone to take on my responsibilities. My guardian has enough on his plate. This is the path I took and I ought to see it through.

Laying in bed, noting all of this has truly helped me. My mind may still have roaming thoughts, but at least it is no longer over crowded.

Seal...................................