Fate, My Elementals & I (Breaking Borders)

Mission Failed

*** Evony's Pov ***

After nearly blowing a fuse. Again! I focused on the matter at hand. We know where, as they call him, Bren, is. Which reminds me, I know their names only because they keep calling each other, never once had we even introduced ourselves. I am doing a monumental job at making a good first impression. Laughable! Again, Many has decided to hibernate or something. It's like she's shy around my boys... guys..... elementals. Urghhhhh....All this time has passed. These are young men. Sure of who they are. They don't lean on me, look to me for guidance, as elementals should. Independent thinkers and actors.

I was a blubbering mess, considering the spite I keep feeling from Addanon. The empty space in my core for Bren. Now I don't feel like the confident ruler Fero raised. I need to get a grip on my reality. Right now I need to get Bren. WOW! Did not have the chance to admire the brilliance that is Cannon's stretch. It's sleek black, tinted, with chrome rims and clearly very expensive. As we neared closer, very long legs emerged and unfolded into a handsome, proper older gentleman who is built like a drill sergeant. He opens the door and bows!

Eyes still wide open, I saw all my gentlemen look at me. Ladies first then. I got a somewhat worried look from Devion when heading in. That bothers me so much. I should be taking charge. Making plans, but all I think about is drooling over the power surges and their gorgeous faces, then skipping back to worry about my flame. While they were settling themselves in this spacious double-sided back seat, I got to admire the Hispanic deliciousness in front of me. I may have been miffed that he chose to sit on the other side, most likely to avoid contact with me, but it also gives me a visual advantage.

Fade to the sides, man bun, with a few escaping chestnut brown curls, that just makes him look even more stylish. Bushy eyebrows, thick eyelashes fight for space as he blinks, protecting those honey-brown gold-speckled orbs of his. Smooth caramel skin, not a bump, could be seen on his angular jawline. I stared at the joining of it and his neck, watching the way his pulse beat just a little bit faster, wishing to drag my tongue along the cords. Moving my eyes to his lips. Pink, plump and juicy, every girl's dream. Doing my best, in agony honestly, I looked away, in hope of finding a less tempting scenery. Mission failed. His high school sports jacket over a t-shirt that is clearly one size too small, or maybe it is my perverted mind making me believe that. I swear though, it is like a second skin, teasing me with the imprint of his strong chest and washboard abs. He stretched out his long legs in the space between us, making his strong thigh muscles flex. Hmmmmmmmmmm.... you will be mine. Down girl! Geez.....

There is something I don't get. We are nowhere near the age to meet our Fated. They are only my elementals at this moment. The connection should be that of a queen and her subjects. Not a hormonal teenage girl, who wished that Devion's hand would trace a little higher on her thigh, instead of just resting there, in a form of comfort. Why does he smell so good? When did Cannon finish speaking to his chauffeur and got in? I have lost my mind.

"Where are we going?" I asked, attempting to ignore every fiber in my being screaming to rub up against any and all of them.

Cannon looked up from his tablet and tilted his head in a way to look at me, making me shiver. Those ice-blue eyes and the way he sat, one leg over the other, commanding yet gentle for me. Dammit conscious help me!!!

"We're headed to the mental facility he was sent to. It wasn't the one reported though. Which is odd. However, the same doctor that did the psych eval' on him during the trial, runs this place as well," the sexy young mogul explained to me. Sqeezing my thighs together in need of friction. I asked, "And the plan to get him out?"

"Simple. You know your way around convincing people into believing things. I presume there is a real possibility of you getting that doctor to sign release forms and emailing them to a judge I have in my pocket. Then he would stamp it. Bren will be free, legally and can leave with us tonight," he laid out. Looking quite confident that the situation is under his control.

"I can definitely do that and more," I promised, turning my head to look out the window, hoping it would distract me from my urges.

We're coming for you Bren..........

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**** Devion's Pov ****

I wish I could help my need to touch her constantly. I love the tingling sensation, the freedom in which I can do it. No recoils or rules like last time. She seems to enjoy it. No complaints at least. Leaning into me, fitting like a puzzle piece no matter what position. The feeling of being needed in return, by her, was the most exhilarating experience. Had someone told me, Devion, you would feel happy just being able to sit next to Evony, knowing she wants you there, would equate to the feeling of an adrenaline shot, I would have laughed. I have never been sentimental really. Loyal? Yes, of course. But in no way would I have assumed that it would be enough. Sure she was gorgeous and if she slipped and said that she wanted more, she would get it all night long without pause. This right now, though, is enough.

I know I should be and I am focussed on getting Bren. He had a dark sense of humor from what I remember, but in no way is he a pyromaniac. He was unnaturally perceptive and dodgy, not crazy. Plus, the details from the article Cannon read do not suggest a natural fire either. None of us, though, had access to our core powers since leaving each other's presence. How was it done? Something's not adding up and I hope Cannon knows what we're walking into.

"Hey, Cannon..." I leaned forward a bit careful not to disturb Evony, getting his attention, I continued "I uhhhh...., condolences on your Dad. I tried writing, then got no reply. I figured that he wouldn't leave them unanswered if he could help it. He was a great man and the......... well, we are better men today for even knowing him," I expressed, sincerely. He looked at me and for the tiniest moment I caught the resemblance of the Cannon I knew seven years ago, hanging on his Dad's arm, acting like a spoiled cute child, then it disappeared and the hardened control freak was back.

"Thank you. He had gotten too .......... He wasn't very mobile at the end. There were special requirements to keep him comfortable, so I am sure that your letters even prior to him leaving were left unread. As for no replies," Cannon went on to explain.

"No, no..... No need to explain that. You were grieving...... I won't hold that against you. It was just nice to know he went peacefully as you had hoped," I interrupted.

"Actually, it would have been great to have you all to express myself too. It was a lonely cold time for me. I don't think I ever got to grieve," he let out a sick sort of pained laugh, "I think about it all of the time. Saying goodbye to him. Wishing for you to be there. Having anyone I could lean on at that moment. My Papa, he wouldn't have been happy with me if I had cried at the funeral. I haven't had the opportunity since then either. My Dad left me some information, you see. It warned and helped me. That's how I know a little about our queen. A few things of our people. Where we come from. What threats we may have to face. My Dad left me his network. To make sure we could be safe from........... Look, I want you to know, I wanted to answer, but it was imperative that I did not lead my Papa, to you, or even make him suspicious through correspondence. I had not the skill nor the understanding of how to maneuver around him at that time. So, I hid. I could not risk you all. I...... I need you to know......... You were all my brothers, in both Dad's and my heart," Cannon confessed. A stray tear slid down the side of his face. Breaking that glacier like wall he surrounds himself with. He wiped it away in an angry motion, then proceeded to look back at his gadget. Effectively dismissing any thought of consoling or continuing the conversation. At least with me.

Feeling Evony move from my side, I saw her balancing herself in the moving car, hopping to his end of the seat, only to move his arms out the way, getting him to lean back, place both legs on the floor and snuggle into his lap. Tracing her nose along his neck. Placing a little peck on his cheek and whispering to him that he wasn't alone anymore. Seeing him visibly relax, hold onto her and hide his face in that jungle of hair, I knew he would be okay.

Seeing some movement from the corner of my eye. I looked over. Addanon stopped his brooding and was looking at them, in a way I honestly could not describe. Envy, seemed too strong, plus there was a melancholic look to it, I hoped was aimed at the mention of Eddie. The guy was an anomaly, but I knew for sure the next time he tries that, it's all your fault; you are responsible for my actions bull$h!t, with Evony, I was going to knock him the f0ck out. Honestly, I hope with the impending save Bren situation, he wises up and takes his role more seriously.

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**** Addanon's POV ****

Look at her. All cozy with one and then happily giving herself to the other. That was all kind of wrong. Am I supposed to want to share? Attention, intimate attention, should be reserved for that one special person in her life. Not given away to just anyone. This is why I won't give up my Josie. She has never paid attention to any other guy than me. I am her everything. Sure, it's not like Evony is throwing herself at random men on the street. We are duty bound to her, at least that's what I got from the pieces of information scraps she gave us. I also concluded that if I asked to be released of this burden, to go back to my regular life, she couldn't grant it, even if she wanted to. I am the earth. How messed up is that? I am stuck serving this little girl, who can't seem to make up her mind about which of us she wants to bone.

I knew she was checking me out. Sure she's focussed on getting Bren. 'Cause she needs himmmmm..... I rolled my eyes then. If you needed him so badly, why didn't you take him when you had the chance? He wouldn't be in crazy people's jail, probably drugged up. Lost and confused. This all could have been avoided if it wasn't for her. Breathe Addy. My anger only flared more when Devion decided to talk about Eddie. None of them knew what it felt like to feel him die. I did!

Shaking my head so that cloud of rage would move along, I noticed Devion looking at me. What? I gestured. He only shook his head at me and looked back out the window. Odd duck. Dude his size, should be dominating the field, not playing sidekick to Barbie and Ken over there. Why isn't he angry that, after using him, she went to the rich white guy, giving him the love that Devion clearly deserved?

Trying my best to keep quiet about a lot of my issues, I felt like I was fifteen again. Sure, Cannon watched his dad die. I, on the other hand, lived it. Maybe I should let him know, so the a$$h0le will cut me some slack and know why I am the way I am. Sure he'll feel like sh!t to know that he is attacking someone that was connected to his Dad in his final moments on this earth. I don't want their pity, but if we really were brothers, they would stop siding with the pretty skirt because she cried and said sorry.

"There's something you should all know......... I felt it when Eddie died. Not ummm...... only the last breath or anything. I was immobile for three days. I suffered unimaginable pain. It was like his sickness was angry about being suppressed for so long. It drained me. Attacked me. I..... I couldn't function properly for months after. Knowing what death itself felt like............ There was no way to describe it. Turning to drugs to keep me numb was my only option to deal with it. That screwed me up for about six months. If it wasn't for two people in my life that actually gave a crap about me, I might be dead. It was like death got a taste of me and kept coming back for more. If my coach hadn''t made me go to counseling. If Josie didn't stay by my side to keep me sober. I would probably have committed suicide," I concluded, not even sure why I had said all that. That was not the plan.

Cannon's face emerged from the Evony nest he was trapped in to stare at me. Raised his eyebrow, opened his mouth, closed it and shook his head. "I'm sorry that you had to feel something like that. I cannot imagine the torment of experiencing someone's death. Not having the opportunity to communicate with me what you were going through must have made it worse. Turning to drugs, that was a bit shocking. If memory serves right, you were a star athlete, giving that up was definitely a sin to you. Why would you jeopardize it, rather than write to the others? You say that there were only two people who cared about you, when it was the furthest from the truth. You had Devion for sure. Why did you keep this to yourself?" he questioned, confused and not at all projecting pity as I expected.

"I did write to him when you weren't answering. Got a b!tchy reply too. He was probably self-medicating by then. Bren's no reply. The fire must have happened before he got it. Addanon I lived in the district next to you. Had you needed me, I would have come to you. You knew that............... I have said it to you all many times. Even the last letter I sent you, I hinted at Eddie being gone, if you knew or felt anything? You had the opportunity to tell me to come to you, even if you couldn't get to me. Why lean on people who will never understand what you were really going through? People you can't be completely honest with, huh? Why take that risk?" Devion agitatedly questioned me. Even tattle-tailing on my not-so mature reply to his last letter. When you want the guy to remain a statue, he doesn't sigh.

Angry at myself for bringing this up. All I wanted was to express why I was so messed up. No one seems to care about what I just said, my suicidal thoughts. All they care about is that I could have blown our secret. A scathing look formed on my face as I yelled, "Fock you! F0ck all of you!! You don't know what it was like thinking about why I couldn't communicate with the earth, feel it. How I wished for recognition again. The reminder that I was special. That I would have a family with you. When it finally returned, it came back with death attached to it. Cold and unforgiving. Even after it passed, it haunted me. Mocking my very existence. Convining me I was the reason he died. That, I wanted it back, so he got sick again and died. It was my fault. I killed Eddie. Issued his death sentence because I couldn't accept not feeling special." Breaking down, finally voicing the truth that consumed me, I heaved, struggled for breath to fill my lungs, in an attempt to get my sh!t together.

When I finally stopped seeing red, I realized what I had just said. Why would I admit that? I closed my eyes, not sure I wanted to see the pain on Cannon's face, knowing had I just been patient, Eddie would have been alive longer.

"The earth is all around us. Dust particles. The grass, soil, even the very bricks that make buildings," I opened my eyes to see Evony focussed on me while speaking, "The reason you didn't feel any special sensation, or reminder, is as simple as you were always feeling it. Earth breathes life, as do all other elements. You are required for life to be sustained. Death is naturally your opposite. That is why you felt your power surge through you then. You did not give Cannon's father his death date. That was written a long time ago. He passed when Fate required it so. A part of you resided in his mortal soul. Cleansing it. So when the contamination, the entry of death became too much, because it was his time. You felt that. The torture, as you mentioned, was actually you attempting to save him on your own. Without us in the same vicinity. The continuation of the feeling, your phantom reminder, was not death teasing you. You just became hyper-aware of all the earth surrounding you. Your belief that you killed him caused paranoia, coupled with your natural athletic instinct to be competitive, you felt like you needed to punish yourself for failing. That is why you turned to drugs. Even now, it messes with your ego to admit that you were weak or less than perfect, couldn't get the job done, bothers you immensely. Had you not been too emotional and caught up in trying to hurt me. Or make me feel at fault for this. You would never have admitted it," she sneered, looking all sorts of scary.

Then, to put the cherry on top, she concluded, "Suicide is for mortals. Had you attempted self-harm, all you would have accomplished was cause pain to yourself. That's it. Elementals lives are not theirs to tamper with. Your purpose must be fulfilled before you return to your natural state of being, until Fate decides you are required again. So the threat of losing you has no standing. We feel pain, yes. We live, breathe, eat, yes, but that is to sustain this form, nothing more. You wanted a punching bag. You chose yourself, then when your self-righteous attitude took charge you blamed me. I will admit, giving you more information on who you were should have happened. Heck, listening to Fate and stealing you all away would have been best. That is all I will apologise for. I would not have to be dealing with all this cr@p from you right now. On top of the empty feeling when I reach for Bren. So buck up buttercup, the only time you die is when I don't require you anymore."

Looking at the other two, they did not seem phased by what she just admitted. Just acted like it was okay, only having to live for her now. Everything I have lived with for the past three years was a lie? But................. "So you are dismissing my feelings? Feelings that I have lived with for years? I didn't know anything. So damn right I blamed you. Five minutes with me and you think you psychoanalyze me?" I accused, in an attempt to validate my anger once more.

"I have a degree in psychology. I figured I needed it to be a good ruler. Didn't realize it would come in handy to save myself from someone who came into being with the sole purpose of serving and protecting me. The irony. Also, that stuff was written all over your face. Your need for validation. Deperate hope that Dev and Cannon will side with you, because you all shared a love for Eddie. I am not saying you didn't believe those things. I am saying had you expressed or relayed this information to one of your brothers, everything else could have been avoided. But, again, your need to prove you are strong got in the way," she responded with a resigned tone that bordered on annoyance.

Sitting there, I am forced to look within myself. Reliving those moments with the clarity her words provided. All the anger, pain and general f0cked-up-ness could have been avoided? What do I do now? I can't even get away from her. My life with Josie and Standford drifted away with each passing second. Then, I heard a voice inside me whisper, Mission failed.