The Emperor's lair

what happened to this night

She approached me, approaching the table where we were eating our dinner. She approached closer and closer, and I wanted to hug her because she is truly the only friend who kept my words in her heart after them, and she especially knows how much I love him.

I extended my arm to hug her, and she shouted: “I’m in a hurry. I want to go, but I’ll tell you something.”

He quickly intervened and grabbed her arm forcefully to say: We'll talk later, it's not time to talk.

His features were, I don’t know what they are called. This was the first time I had seen him. He was afraid of my friend. He grabbed her by the arm and wanted to push her away, but she refused to scream: Enough. It’s time for you to learn. For how long. Every day, she says, “Tomorrow, finish it.” When, when will you finish?

I don't know how I endured those words when I don't know what they were talking about

She pushed her hair back and held his hand. I would swear that at that moment I lied to myself so that I never dropped him from my soul.

Until she chanted with all confidence, as if she was almost breaking me: He and I will get engaged.

My features were not surprised, but I waited for him to laugh or for anything to prove that what she was talking was nonsense, as usual.

The brokenness of his eyes in front of me was a witness. He broke it and everything of love and trust that had never been shaken. He broke everything, to the point that he broke me and my soul as well. His silence was more disgusting than the nonsense he would utter.

I approached him a little, wanting to be sure. I just looked into his eyes and tilted my head a little, and I didn’t know how to say it: “And us.”

Silence, silence, silence, then he chanted: “The devil was strong, Mona,” then he cried.

I wanted to embrace him despite my disappointment in him. Is this really the one you fought everything for? I passed through the middle of them and left, cursing my life a hundred times, especially myself.

Will this moment ever pass? Of course not, I will.

Life's blows were successive and painful to the point that I no longer remembered anything after I fainted from the intensity of the pain.

I opened my eyes and it had been 15 minutes since I fainted. I did not wake up, but rather my soul wanted me to speak, as if it required speaking, but I remained silent.

My resistance was more painful than crying. I am not a wall, oh God, nor a wall. I have fragile feelings and you know and they know.

Why then, why here? I really wanted to know why, so I started repeating it and hitting everything around me, until I saw him and his coming was a grave mistake. He came forward to my side and knelt down to say: I apologize.

I threw my head forcefully onto the bed and I did not know whether to cry or laugh, so they were both mixed together to the point that I did not feel him hugging me. I shouted sharply: Tell me something simple about what I told you.

I feel his tears on my forehead as he chants: All of them do not suit me, most of them were out of trust.

Mona: Give me a little of the love I gave you.

Ahmed: I cannot, your love was so great that it could never compare to my love.

Mona: So what did you do for me?

Ahmed: I went through paths that were not my own, Mona.

I shouted with all my might: When you approach, I feel a weight on my back, so I move away.

He exclaimed beggingly:: Mona!!

To respond: I have become suffering from myself, Ahmed. I sought for you in all directions, and you spared me the loss and were waiting for me to laugh.

Ahmed: Mona, we all know love without exception, but I went through paths that were not mine and not suitable, so forgive me, Mona.

Mona: Why didn’t you give me a song about betrayal and say, “This is me.” I was noticing the simplest things about you. I did not imitate any scene from the television or screens or from the whole world. I loved you with my spontaneity.

I was speaking while I saw his brokenness before my eyes. I chanted through my tears: Didn’t you swear that you had never seen happiness except with me? Is this your love for me? Is this my reward?

I lost my first child and you were not by my side. I smiled at you from the depths of my broken heart, and you were the one who had to smile at me. Every day I was optimistic about a better tomorrow, but instead of fixing me, you destroyed me. You charmed me. Weren’t those sacrifices for you? Didn’t I burn myself to light you up? I don’t deserve you. Every time I stand up In front of the mirror I say you don't deserve him, he tramples on you little by little, really you have finished everything.

She stood up with all her strength and chanted: You are not the last thing I have left. The house is my home, so let her come out and she will host you. Say goodbye and leave.

I exclaimed as I placed my hand on my stomach and pulled it a little, unfortunately, to reassure my child a little without drawing any attention.

He picked him up and went out, and what is certain is that he will come out without anything. Everything that is his is mine. I am the one who made him a man and he broke me, but I am good at breaking even when I am ashes, so do not underestimate me.

Writer: Aya Magdy Ibrahim