I Didn't Want to Love You

Chapter 3

He waits a couple seconds before saying anything. "Why?"

I shed more tears instead of answering because I regret saying that already. Who says such a thing? I want her back. But I know the person who comes back is not her, the mom that I know.

"Do you know The Monkey's Paw? The couple hold the paw and wish for their dead son to be back. But the thing that came back in the son's visage can't be him, he's been dead for a week. They hold the paw again to wish for that thing to be gone. I sometimes feel like that can be true. If she wakes up, she won't be herself."

My voice is dry and husky from not talking for hours. He listens to me carefully and waits a few seconds, again, before saying anything. "Well, that sounds cursed rather than falling into a vegetative state. I am sure there are no monkey paws in the operation room."

I scoff at the comment. It's the first different thing I did since this morning. I thought I wouldn't see him again, yet he is comforting me in the hospital hours later. Is he really comforting me, I ask myself. It is more like casual conversation that you can have with anyone. I realise that it's him. I started to talk, all by myself. He said no words. I now know that I must be away from him because he is much too kind and makes me talkative somehow. I hug myself and rub my arms for some warmth angrily.

"You can have my sweater," he says, handing me a baby blue, knitted sweater. I was going to hiss and spit but the coldness finally overcomes me, I take the sweater and quickly put in on. It smells like a men's cologne, woody and spicy. I thank him and secretly breathe the cologne while putting my hands on my forehead. I was angry a moment ago, but now I am glad he came.

I say nothing else until our dads come back together. They see his sweater on me but say nothing. I see a content look on the Colonel's eyes. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to take the sweater.

-

I sleep on the chair. The Colonel and Alexander does not leave until we hear something from the doctors. She had a heart attack, and complications that it caused forced them for an operation. However, our girl is strong and while she is still in a vegetative state, she is doing better. They tell us to go home and rest. She lives. If you call this a life, tied to the bed and a brain that is dead.

We get ready to go back home when it's almost next morning. Because I am in no condition to drive, the Colonel sends Alexander to take us. I do not object or say that I will order an Uber, I just walk to the parking lot while he pushes my dad's wheelchair. He keeps thanking Alexander and saying how kind of him to do this for us. I sense the sub-text in his words; "Look, how nice is this young man. He even gave you his sweater. I would be very happy if you married him."

I say, "Yes, dad, very nice of him, thank you Alexander, no, dad, I know it is very late."

Alexander tells me to get in the car while he helps my dad. We drive in silence, the only sound is the GPS'. I fall asleep quickly, and only wake up when the car stops. We are on our driveway. I yawn and stretch my arms lazily. It actually turned out to be really nice to have him bring us, I could be in the parking lot trying to find an Uber until now.

I get out of the car to help Alexander put my dad back to the wheelchair. He is already out and opening my dad's door. I always help dad do this, while he tries himself but Alexander is strong, he picks him up easily, puts him on the wheelchair, and I see my dad laughing. It was easy.

"You wouldn’t be able to keep my feet off of the ground if I was younger and had two working legs, son, I would show you what a menace I was."

"You are more like a manatee now. So eat your vegetables and watch that scale, huh, old man?"

My eyes widen and I open my mouth to lash him but my dad laughs so much that I stop myself. "Did you hear that, Ames? Watch that scale," and he starts laughing again. I smile at his joy, still disbelieving this moment, because I could've never imagined that he would laugh like this while coming back from the hospital after a night like this. I look at Alexander, he is smiling too.

I open the door with my key while they continue being eleven years old boys together. I tell Alexander he can go but my dad objects, the guy carries him to bed like a baby. After thanking him innumerable times, he lets him go. I show him the way out but he asks for the car keys so he can bring our car back. Still wearing his sweater, I stand in the hall. "You can keep it," he says. I don't even bother trying to take it out, I say thanks. It feels dry, empty. I clean my throat while he stands there before the door.

"Thank you for everything you did tonight. I would be too exhausted if it weren't for you."

"It is my pleasure to be of help," he says in that nice accent. It really grew in my ears, it feels like I had a spot in my ear that was itchy for years only his voice can scratch it. I scratch my right ear instinctively.

We look at each other in a weird silence for while but then he breaks is. "I am really sorry for the incident in the bakery."

"No problem."

"I was just thinking, maybe we could help each other out. I need to get married with a girl the Colonel approves, and it seems he approves you."

"He approves me?" I ask, laughing. The only thought in my head is, why did he call his father the Colonel? The emotional distance in this word should be enough for an answer. Besides, how could it be helpful to me? I am not in a tough position like him.

"Yeah. Look, I know you don't want to get married and I don't neither but we can make something beneficial out of it."

"How so?" I ask, just out of curiosity.

"Well, no one could know it's not a real marriage." I blink a few times, looking at his face. So no s*x, I think to myself. "No responsibilities that... marriage carries."

"What do I get from it?"

"I don't know?... Whatever you ask. I'll owe you big."

I laugh again, sarcastically this time. "Are you serious?"

"I am dead serious." His solid face does not give in.

"I'll think about it." I hand him my car keys and then open the door for him.

"Well, see you later then, Amelia." He gets our and starts walking backwards in the front yard, looking at me and I secretly wish for him to trip and fall. It would be funny.

"See you, Alexander."

"You can call me Alex." He opens the car door, leans against it. He is so tall that I wonder what he actually is, 6' 4"?

"Bye, Lexi." He laughs and gets in the car and I think his company was not so bad after all.