The Blonde Daoist

Chapter 5 - Zifu Sermon

December 24, 2026 23:00

The stained glass windows of the church in Amber Bay suddenly glowed with golden light. Jerry Hoffman and Elsa Schmidt stood in front of the altar, and Taoist gossip and Christian stigmas appeared on their robes at the same time. This was their final preparation before the tribulation.

"Are you ready?" Elsa stabbed the acupuncture bronze man into her Tanzhong acupoint, and the twelve silver needles flew into the air automatically. "This time, industrial electricity will be used to activate the innate energy."

Jerry clenched the Tai Chi cross, and the statues of the Rhine River Muse and the Yellow River Shuibo on the hilt began to rotate. He opened the energy valve of the Tesla coil, and the blue arc weaved into a grid of Nordic runes and Taoist cloud seals on the church dome.

"In the name of the orthodoxy of the East and the West -" The two chanted in unison, and the hymns of the Bible and the readings of the Tao Te Ching resonated in the void, "Please bring down the lightning tribulation!"

January 1, 2027 at 00:01

When the first day of lightning broke through the clouds, self-cultivators across the European continent saw a vision:

The snow in the Alps automatically arranges itself into a gossip array

The water of the Rhine solidifies into the shape of the Christian Holy Grail

The giant beer glass of the Munich Oktoberfest is suspended in the air and turned into a magic weapon

Jerry's epic sword suddenly disintegrated, turning into 72 flying swords to form the Tiangang Big Dipper Array. Elsa's crystal ball shattered and reorganized into the body of the Rhine Muse, and she waved her water sleeve to lead the lightning tribulation in the direction of the Vatican.

"How dare you use the Holy Land of the Holy See to cross the tribulation!" Wolfgang, the remnant of the Black Cross, rushed out of the shadows, holding the dark magic weapon that fused the Nordic magic sword with the hands of the Islamic Fatima in his hand, "The pure Aryan cultivation bloodline cannot be defiled by you!"

02:30

When the seventh thunder fell, twelve bronze pillars suddenly rose from the ground of the Vatican, revealing the connection between the Christian "Holy Spirit Meridian" and the Taoist "Earth Lung Mountain". Jerry inserted the Tai Chi cross into the altar of St. Peter's Cathedral, and the sword handle rune resonated with the Bible canon, illuminating the secret room of cultivation hidden for thousands of years.

"Look!" Elsa pointed to the murals in the secret room, which depicted Jesus and Lao Tzu discussing the Tao. "The first attempt to merge the Eastern and Western celestial realms..."

Wolfgang took the opportunity to use the "Twilight of the Gods" f*******n technique, and the Nordic Frost Giant and the Islamic devil appeared at the same time. Jerry threw out the alchemy crucible and converted the Quran chapters into alchemy materials; Elsa activated the "Twelve Meridians Array" of the acupuncture bronze man, and injected the wisdom of the Talmud into Wolfgang's meridians.

"The fusion of your civilizations... is a blasphemy against the gods!" Wolfgang was destroyed in golden light and detonated the "Nebelungen Nuclear" hidden under the Vatican before his death.

05:00

When the sun rose, the self-cultivators of the European continent discovered that:

A fusion of Taoist temples and Christian monasteries emerged in the Alps

The water of the Rhine becomes drinkable "yin and yang jade liquid"

The dome of St. Peter's Basilica in the Vatican reveals a fusion totem of the Tai Chi diagram and the cross

Jerry and Elsa were kneeling in the ruins. Their daoist robes had been tempered into "star pattern daoist robes" by Tianlei, and each star bucket corresponded to an important god in Eastern and Western mythology. In Elsa's crystal ball, the Rhine River Muse and the Yellow River Shuibo were toasting together.

"We succeeded." Jerry took out the "Holy Spirit Golden Elixir" obtained from the secret room, and the surface of the elixir was engraved with the image of the Trinity and Sanqing at the same time, "but bigger challenges lie ahead."

June 21, 2030 12:00

In the cultivation base of Mount Olympus on Mars, Jerry was debugging the core formation of the "Cosmic Dao Palace". This circular building built using the principles of the "Book of Changes", each pillar integrates the design concepts of the Egyptian pyramids and the Mayan Observatory.

"The attractive force wave resonates normally." Elsa's holographic projection came from Earth, "The Dunhuang Research Institute's quantum talisman has been loaded."

Suddenly, the radio telescope on the far side of the moon caught an abnormal signal. When Jerry converted the signal into a self-cultivation map, he was shocked to find:

Andromeda Galaxy has the mirror structure of the Nordic Hall of Heroes

The Orion Nebula reveals the shadow of the Taoist Thirty-Three Heavens

The black hole at the center of our galaxy is broadcasting a mix of sound waves from the Quran and the Vedas

"This is a cosmic cultivation battlefield." Elsa's crystal ball projected the projection of the evil god Cthulhu, "They want to prevent the fusion of East and West at the level of civilization."

December 24, 2040 18:00

When the invitation letter from the Yaochi Peach Club arrived, Jerry and Elsa were restoring the ruins of the Atlantis Cultivation Council at the bottom of the Atlantic Ocean. The invitation letter was written on celestial stationery, with the pattern of the Peach and the Eye of Odin printed on the edge.

"They finally recognize our" Western tradition "." Elsa put the invitation letter in the universe bag, "but the proposal to merge the fairy world..."

"It will be opposed by vested interests." Jerry activated the horoscope function of the pocket watch, and the twelve constellations and twenty-eight constellations on the dial were being arranged apocalyptically, "But we have more important tasks."

Their natural magic weapon suddenly issued an alarm, and the murals in the 36 caves of the Mogao Grottoes in Dunhuang were being updated quickly. When the holographic projection appeared, the two saw an amazing scene:

The Taoist companion in the mural is discussing Taoism with alien cultivators

Flying laser sword and starship model in the background

The inscription in the lower right corner reads: "When the universe restarts, only the path of fusion can survive"

March 15, 2050 at 00:00

In the round hall of the Milky Way Cultivation Council, Jerry and Elsa wore a combination of Chinese and Western golden daoist robes. Their proposal, "Proposal on Establishing a Multiverse Cultivation Federation," caused a heated debate, and opponents included Norse gods, Buddhist bodhisattvas, and Western archangels.

"We can't let these half-breeds destroy the sacred bloodline!" Thor waved Myrnir, and the runes on the surface of the hammer resonated with the Taoist thunder.

"The true holiness lies in the inclusiveness of civilization." Elsa suspended the acupuncture bronze figure in the center of the parliament, and the bronze figure suddenly revealed the corresponding map of the seven deadly sins of Christianity and the seven emotions of Taoism. "Look, arrogance and anger are essentially the same."

Jerry opened the live video of the "Cosmic Dao Palace", and the Mars base was using the "Book of Changes" algorithm to predict supernova explosions. When he compared the prediction results with the Buddhist theory of "living in the void", the entire venue was shocked - the timelines of the two were exactly the same.

"The universe is collapsing faster." Elsa showed the latest projection of the Kunlun Secret Realm map, "Only by fusing the Eastern and Western cultivation systems can we restart the universe."

03:00

When the voting results were announced, Jerry and Elsa's proposal was rejected by one vote. But at this moment, all the murals in the 36 caves of the Mogao Grottoes in Dunhuang suddenly shattered, turning into golden particles and merging into their daoist robes. The primordial spirit phantom of Daoist Priest Bai Xuan appeared in the council hall, and his body simultaneously appeared in the form of the Taoist Sanqing, the Christian Trinity, and the Three Treasures of Buddhism.

"Children, your mission has long transcended the immortal world." The old man injected the last trace of divine power into the cross of Tai Chi, "Go to the" Library of Tao "at the end of the universe, where the cultivation keys of all civilizations are hidden."

6:00 PM

In the "Library of Tao" at the edge of the quantum bubble, Jerry and Elsa saw a shocking sight:

On the bookshelf are both cosmic editions of the Bible and Zhuangzi

The floor is paved with Mayan numerals and "Book of Changes" hexagrams

The dome's star map shows the cultivation trajectories of different civilizations

Elsa's crystal ball suddenly projected their past and present lives: from the blond monk in Bavaria, to the Taoist companion in the Dunhuang murals, to the guardian of civilization at the end of the universe. Jerry's Tai Chi cross automatically floated to the central altar, and the sword body began to absorb the knowledge of all books.

"We finally understand." Jerry put the "Holy Spirit Golden Elixir" into the altar, and the elixir turned into a golden torrent and injected into the core of the universe. "True cultivation is to make all civilizations live forever through fusion."

Elsa took out the repaired Dunhuang star map, and the star map suddenly showed the last message of Daoist Priest Bai Xuan:

"When the fires of self-cultivation from the East and the West blend, the true immortal path will transcend the stars."

09:00

The moment the universe restarted, Jerry and Elsa saw all possible forms of civilization.

There is an interstellar cultivation empire that uses antimatter alchemy

There are cyborgs fused with artificial intelligence

An extreme environmental self-cultivator born on a neutron star

They chose to survive as a "bridge of civilizations", infusing the Taoist "yin and yang" and the Christian "divine love" into the laws of the new universe. When the first light was born, all civilizations heard the same revelation:

"Reborn in fusion, eternal in difference."