Disoriented

Chapter 6: The Note That Told a Million Stories.

The note she sent, and yes if you’re thinking; “we’re back to that? That was like 3 paragraphs ago” I know, trust me I know, but it’s important.

Dear Kate,

I love you so much. I can't explain just how much I love you. Everything about you - your smile, your laugh, your eyes - everything. I love you so much! But I can't stay, Kate. You, out of all the people in my life, should know that everything about this universe keeps pulling on me. I need to escape myself. I just need to leave this earth. I’m sorry, I'm so sorry.

Your disoriented friend,

Psyche Hastings

“Everything about this universe keeps pulling on me”. It broke me, she didn’t write the note long enough for me to cry, I felt numb, empty, through with everything, this was the moment I knew I was broken. My mom tried to get me into therapy, which I refused to do because of everything I felt for myself, for Psyche, for the world, I just wanted it to be over, all the pain that she left for me to carry, all the things that I wanted to say to her but couldn’t. I left everything behind when I lost her, I stopped caring, stopped enjoying things, stopped being happy, I couldn’t even feel anything emotionally anymore. She was gone, and I believe she took a piece of me with her. She took the half of my heart that she had stolen, she left me with nothing but my half that was useless without her. I was alone, for once I hated the feeling. I loved hanging out with Psyche but she was gone. This feeling of loneliness was different than being away from her for a while, it was different.