Her Favourite Distraction

Pressure And Conflicted Hearts

I woke up earlier than usual that morning. My heart was racing, faster than normal, and an inexplicable nervousness lingered in my chest. Maybe it was just the usual jitters I felt whenever I had Mr. Adrian’s class.

I glanced at Isaa’s bed. She was still fast asleep, her blanket half on the floor and one leg thrown over the edge in an awkward angle. I couldn’t help but chuckle softly at her sleeping position.

Sitting up slowly, I reached for my phone.

A notification blinked on the screen.

EMAIL: SCHOLARSHIP BOARD

My stomach tightened immediately.

So that was it — the reason I felt off this morning.

I opened it.

REMINDER: All scholarship students are required to maintain a minimum GPA of 4.5. Failure to meet academic or behavioral expectations may result in immediate withdrawal of the scholarship.

My heart sank.

Immediate withdrawal.

That meant leaving this school if I didn’t meet the cutoff.

I locked my phone and stared ahead, thoughts drifting far from this room… far from this life.

Back home. I remembered my mum’s tired eyes, the way she still managed to smile.

"This is your chance, Amanda. Don’t waste it."

We couldn’t afford this school — not even close. The scholarship wasn’t just an opportunity; it was the only reason I was here.

And if I lost it…

I swallowed hard, unable to finish the thought.

“Amanda.”

I jumped, turning to see Isaa awake, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

“Why are you up so early?” she asked, voice thick with sleep.

“Nothing,” I muttered. “I just couldn’t sleep.”

She narrowed her eyes at me. “That doesn’t sound like nothing.”

I hesitated, then met her gaze. “I got an email.”

“What kind of email?”

“From the scholarship board.”

Her eyes widened as she sat upright. “You’re on scholarship?”

I nodded.

“Wait… like a full scholarship?”

“Yeah. And if I don’t maintain a 4.5 GPA, I’ll lose it.”

Her expression shifted immediately. “Like… you’d have to leave this school?”

I nodded again. The room went quiet for a moment. Then she nudged my shoulder gently.

“You’re smart. You’ll be fine.”

I gave a small, unconvincing smile. “I have to be.”

Class that day felt different. Heavier. Every word, every note, every question mattered.

I sat upright, pen in hand, jotting down every detail. I didn’t even glance at Mr. Adrian. I couldn’t afford distractions.

“Alright,” he said, cutting through the quiet room, “your first major assessment will be in one week. It will count for a significant part of your grade.”

A murmur ran through the class.

One week? My pulse quickened. No time at all. I couldn’t afford to mess this up — not even a little.

After class, I packed my things quickly, planning to head straight to the library.

My phone buzzed.

Henry: Want to meet up after class… missing you already.

My chest tightened slightly.

Me: I’m sorry. I wish I could, but I have a test coming up.

Three dots appeared almost instantly.

Henry: Oh… okay. We’ll meet another time.

I stared at the message, then switched on Do Not Disturb. I had to focus.

The library became my world. Hours passed in a blur — pages turned, notes filled, mind locked on a single goal.

When I finally looked up, the sky had darkened.

7:02 p.m.

Over five hours had slipped by without me noticing. I packed my things and hurried back to the hostel.

“Where have you been?” Isaa asked the moment I walked in.

“At the library,” I replied.

“Okay… I was worried. I called.”

“Oh, sorry. My phone was on DND.”

“No problem. Have you eaten?”

I shook my head.

“I ordered Chinese. Go wash up.”

Relief washed over me.

The week passed in a blur of studying, assignments, and more studying. I barely saw Henry, and a quiet guilt lingered in my chest. But I couldn’t afford distractions — not when everything was at stake.

Test day arrived faster than expected. I answered each question carefully, confidently. Hours of library sessions had paid off — I could feel it.

At one point, Mr. Adrian paused beside my desk, glanced at my script, and gave a small nod. Approval.

A strange sense of confidence settled over me. I finished my paper and submitted it, tension melting into relief.

As I turned to leave, his voice stopped me.

“Amanda.”

I froze. Slowly, I walked toward his desk.

“You called me, sir?”

“Yes,” he said, expression unreadable. “I just wanted to say… keep it up.”

I blinked, slightly surprised. “Okay, sir. Thank you.”

He gave a small pause, then: “You can go now.”

I walked away, thoughts spinning. A normal compliment, right? But coming from him… it didn’t feel normal.

It felt like something more.

I shook my head. He’s just your lecturer.

Later, I texted Henry. I felt guilty for ignoring him all week.

Me: Heyy.

Henry: So now you have my time?

I smiled faintly.

Me: I’ve been caught up with tests and assignments. Sorry.

Henry: I understand. Netflix and chill? My place?

I hesitated.

Me: That sounds nice.

Henry: Great. 6 p.m.?

Me: Yeah.

Back in my room, Isaa sprawled on the floor watching a movie.

“You’re back! How was the test?” she asked.

“It was fine. I wrote well.”

“That’s nice. Guess your days of abandoning me paid off.”

I laughed. “Yeah… I guess they did. I’m hanging out with Henry later.”

She sat up instantly, smirking. “Ooh… I hope you’re well-shaved and wearing your best panties,” she teased like a mother giving advice.

“Oh please, Isaa. Nothing is going to happen.”

“I’m just saying… just in case.”

I chuckled. “Okay, mummy.”

I woke later than expected. Almost six. Quick shower, casual shorts and T-shirt, a little lip gloss, and I headed out.

Henry’s dorm was spacious. Posters of Kendrick Lamar adorned the walls, a neatly made bed, and a mattress on the floor with pillows, popcorn, and a bottle of wine with two glasses.

Sweet.

We settled on the mattress and picked a movie — Tell Me Softly.

Minutes in, we found ourselves closer… then closer still. His arm wrapped around me, pulling me gently. Warmth, steady, intoxicating.

My heart raced. My eyes darted from his lips to the screen, and back again.

Maybe he noticed, because he leaned in and kissed me.

Slow. Soft. Then deeper. His hand rested on my waist, pulling me closer as the kiss grew more intense. My breath hitched. A quiet sound escaped me. Everything felt too warm.

“God… you’re beautiful,” he whispered against my ear.

I closed my eyes, trying to steady my breathing. His hand moved more confidently —

Knock. Knock.

We froze.

Frustrated, he pulled away. “I’ll be back,” he muttered.

I sat there, heartbeat slowly returning to normal.

What just happened? Why did it feel like something shifted?

I leaned back, thoughts spiraling. My mind didn’t wander to Henry. It went somewhere else.

Somebody else.

Mr. Adrian.

My chest tightened. Why him? Why was I thinking about him like that?

I shook my head, trying to push it away, but it lingered — stubborn, unsettling.

Henry returned a few minutes later, but something had changed. The easy closeness between us was gone.

We finished the movie in silence. He gave me his bed; I settled on the mattress.

“Good night,” he said softly.

“Good night,” I whispered back.

Sleep didn’t come easily. No matter how hard I tried…

The person on my mind wasn’t Henry.

It was Mr. Adrian.