Loving Apollo

Loving Apollo - I'm not a masochist

Chapter Four

         Bryan’s a b***h.

         No wait…

         Yeah. He is a b***h.

         He had us cram for a party dress when we specifically had plans on our own. He’s a jock, I get it. He has to be in every party as possible. Especially now that Cal is out of the way, he’s close to being the next best thing. I had no choice. My choices stop at two: to go with Bryan to that party or to stay at home and constantly reminisce Cal’s memories.

         I’m not a masochist.

         And Callie’s coming, moreover and she’s more than excited. It had been a great comfort to be with her, even I have no idea why. Her beauty’s just simply exquisite. She’d been my new favorite thing ever since.

         “Are you sure you don’t need me waiting up for you?” Mom’s shoulder tensed up as she crossed her arms to her chest. She’d always looked ten years younger in her silky blue night robe. I’ve told her that a million times already but she’s too resolute to be compromised.

         I shook my head as I walked up to her and gently snatched my jacket from her arm. “I’m sure mom. I’m not going to drink, I’m sure I won’t lose my keys.”

         Her green eyes were marred with worry. As soon as I saw them, I couldn’t help myself but compare them to Callie’s. And my mom was losing.

         “Ari…” Mom said, almost above a whisper. “I think that’s what you need.”

         I shook my head a bit. “Need what?”

         “To have fun,” She wheedled, taking a couple of steps to me.

         I laughed a little, slipping myself into my jacket. “Mom, I am going to have fun hence I am going with Bryan and Callie to that party.”

         “That’s a start.” She agreed, nodding. “I don’t care if you drink, or dance on a table; just do what you do to be happy.”

         She trusts me. That’s probably going to cover her last statement. Sometimes, I don’t understand how my mother’s mind operates. I just know that it does, and it does frighteningly coolly.

         “Hey Mom, no eat, pray, love moments.” I joked. “We’re a family that compromises ten complications all at the same time.”

         She laughed. It had been quite long since I heard her laugh last. With Cal. During breakfast. That’s when.

         “You mentioned a Callie…” Mom slowly said, an attempt to rise from the dour subject. “Is she your new friend?”

         “Yeah! And she’s so pretty Mom, you should see her.” I elucidated, my mood had gotten out of grim. “I’ll bring her next time. She’s like the little sister I’ve never had.”

         “Okay.” She muttered. “I’ll bake brownies if you do.”

         I smiled, giving her a quick peck on the cheeks. “I’ll be on my way now.”

         “Be careful, okay?” She reminded, trust is in her eyes nevertheless. “Is Bryan outside already?”

         I nodded, stepping out of the door. “Yeah, he’s around the block already. And don’t worry, if ever I felt the urge to get drunk, writing our house address on my arm is the first thing I’ll do. Bye!”

        *                                                      *                                                               *

         “Hey.” My eyes narrowed. “Isn’t that Zaphara Evans? The girl who asked you out last time?”

         Bryan scoured the area, Callie followed his eyes’ direction.

         “Where?” asked Callie.

         I pointed my head to the girl’s direction. “There, the petite blonde. Whatever happened to you two?”

         Bryan shrugged after a long sip from his cup. “I hooked her up with Stanford. She doesn’t seem to care who she date, as long as he’s a jock and famous.”

         My face crumpled to a disgusted look. “That’s the least of my favorite life form.”

         “She looks cute.” Callie commented, out of the blue, her eyes had been long fixated on Zaphara already. “For a w***e…”

         Bryan and I chuckled. Much had been talked about for almost an hour standing by whoever-house’s-was-that’s porch. Soon after, Bryan had been out of sight and we had a good guess he’s been kidn*pped by his teammates. Callie had been so much of a distraction with the whole Cal-thing. She was a little consoling. But even the best fall down sometimes. She was bound to ask about my love life sooner or later.

         “So, do you have a boyfriend?” Callie asked it so casually it almost seemed like rehearsed.

         I took a sip before shrugging. “Had… a boyfriend. He’s gone.”

         “Gone?” She frowned, her sweet little face marred with wounded worry but more of curiosity. “As in dead?”

         As much as I wanted to hate Cal and wished him to be dead, I couldn’t. I guess I love him too much to do so. “No, not dead.  Just… gone.”

         “Oh.” Callie muttered. “I’m sorry.”

         I smiled, calm and genuine. “It’s nothing to feel sorry about.”

         She put a hand on my arm. “Yes it is. Sometimes, people we love leave for us, we’re just not aware of it. As long as we felt loved, there’s no reason to give up.”

         My eyes narrowed on her. “Sounds like coming from an experience…”

         She smiled. She has one of the softest smiled I’ve ever seen. “My story wasn’t exactly like yours. But he left me too. I couldn’t blame him. I became unfaithful.”

        Yeah. Nothing alike, I thought. My man is a God. My man was Apollo. But we were both abandoned, who actually cares about the other details?

            Callie continued when she figured I didn’t bear any plan of responding. “He was a man of not much words and I wanted his attention and care so badly. I wanted him to show how much he loves me. In the end, I realized I was only fooling myself. He was irrevocably in love with me. He was just too much of a discreet man when it comes to his feelings.”

           Callie’s eyes were flickering as I watched her travel back to her dismal memories. They were staring off to space, like she was watching them from the hazy distant. Watching her, I had understood how she felt. The same as I felt. But with that comes guilt for her. It was her fault that her man left her. She betrayed him and now she’s more than lonely and empty. And she was blaming herself – till now.

           "What happened?" I asked.

         Her fixated gaze upon the distance didn't seem to faze. "He's dating someone else now – and even asked her to marry him."

         My eyes narrowed. "How do you feel about that?"

         "Hurt..." She shrugged. "And angry. However, I know I can make him come back to me. This girl  – she's just a... a fling. He'll get over it soon."

         "You sound so sure."

         She looked at me as if I'd just said the worst thing a human can say. "I'm hurt. Probably in denial even."

          “Hey,” It was my turn to console her. I put my hand on her hand. “You’re in a new place given a new beginning. And as your new friend in your new life, it’s my duty to lead you to a fresh start.”

         She smiled. Obviously, she had no idea what I was talking about. “Chris!” I called.

         Chris, in immediate time, walked over to us with a vibrant expression on his face. After Cal and Bryan, he’s the next best thing. I’d talked to him a couple of times. He’s a nice guy – the type you could get along with in an instant with just one conversation.

         “Callie,” I said as soon as he drew nearer. “Meet Chris. He’s part of the football team and he’s a great artist.”

         I turned to Chris. “Chris this is Callie. She’s new and she’s awesome. But you’ll soon find that out, so I’m gonna ditch, okay?”

         I left the two for good and never looked back. The first thing that they must’ve talked about was how idiotic I sounded. In a ridiculous extent, giving them something to start a conversation over even if it’s bad-mouthing me makes me happy.

        *                                                      *                                                               *

         It had been too uneventful for me since Cal left. Two weeks. Two weeks. And I still haven’t gotten over. I had hoped I had fooled Bryan but I knew I hadn’t. None of us can fool each other. None of us can make the other believe the lie we want the other to believe. He was just too docile to let me know he wasn’t fooled.

         My luck with men had always been so fair. Until Cal… all the man I’ve had relationships with had been my friends after. Most break-ups were cause by the gradual transformation of love to habitual friendship but we didn’t mind – it was all clean.

         But not Cal.