Ghost of my Mafia Lover

Chapter 5

The kiss awakened something in me. When I think about it, it gave me the courage to believe that I can experience physical pleasure again and feel love once again.

It makes me hunger for him even more. And to him… the kiss did exactly the same.

His eyes are excited. His smile is brighter and his mood is even better than before. He reaches out to touch my hand over the book counter when he comes to see me. It’s sweet, simple and surreal.

“I want us to go out tonight… I think we could go watch a movie or something.”

“Tonight? Okay”

My mind flashes back to the last time I was out at night… and the cup… and it simply fades away. I’m not going to let this fear hold me back.

He leaves the shop and I’m left vibrating with anticipation. I want to make this a special date night… After all, we just had your first kiss. He’s about to give me what I really want, true companionship without any strings attached.

While placing books on the shelves, the door opens up, and I’m startled, so much as to drop cocoa on my dress.

“I’m sorry darling… that might leave a stain.” Mrs Gable says as she slams the book on the counter.

“How is that carpenter of yours? The ladies at the club are happy for you two… He’s just very secretive though…”

“How wonderful… all the ladies are updated on my love life.”

“Oh darling, it’s just frivolous banter… most of them have just been talking about some mysterious Italians around town… Maybe you can get yourself one if…”

Her voice trails off when I hear there are some Italians in AldinTown. How can this happen? Could they be from my family? Is it just a coincidence?

The rest of the conversation is about books and the other ladies from the club and Mrs Gable leaves. I look at the cocoa stain and my heart sinks when I remember I’m going out tonight.

I close the store a little bit earlier, and then I go to change at home.

I just get the urge to check every room before I take off my clothes. It’s just the feeling in my gut.

If anyone is after me, something tells me it’s all about that bookmark. I also remember how it must have been important for Marcus to give it to me.

At some point, before Owen, that bookmark was my life. It’s all I’d ever do: read books and look at the numbers of the bookmark. Every time I read, I’d mark the page with it.

I looked at those numbers so many times I’ve already memorized them. Right now, they’re another language to me. It’s what’s holding me back from being free. I look at the bookmark, and it takes me back to the life I had with Marcus.

It’s been so long but when I think about being his princess, it puts a faint smile on my face; something I don’t think about but can’t forget. That life taught me everything I know.

It was always family and loyalty over everything and f**k the world! That was the thing of ours; I knew he’d never betray me, but someone clearly did.

I can never find out who really killed him and I need to move on. I think about it and I close the book with the bookmark inside.

Owen puts a smile on my face. Just thinking of him brings me peace. He can sense what I need before I open my mouth to say it… He’s authentic and brilliant, strong and gentle… a real perfect gentleman.

It’s only that, when I think of it, sometimes it's like he’s avoiding a side of himself that he keeps tucked and hidden away. I can’t ask him too many questions because I don’t want him asking me too many questions.

Right now our moments of contemplative silence are ambient. I love his reserve, his austere poise and his quiet concern… Although, sometimes it’s almost like he’s watching… observing and collecting.

It’s his inquisitiveness mixed with his intellect that makes him so easy to open up to. Sometimes I just want to let him in… Sometimes I just feel I can tell him… the real story.

But he should be the first to crack the ice. I laugh when I imagine that he hasn’t even asked me to see his place. I can’t believe I don’t know where he lives.

The only real thing I know are the numbers of his library book card… it’s a light blue card with his address, something like a bookmark of his own. I get to memorize those numbers every time he checks out a book too…

He’s standing around looking through the glass of the closed shop when I come around the corner. His face lights up when he sees me.

“That’s it… I’m getting you a phone…”

“What? Because I’m late. I just went to change clothes.”

“You look great," he says, “I thought you forgot about the date. He hugs me with the fullness of his tender embrace. I take a moment as we hug in place, a perfect sculpture glued by our shared love.

The black tarmac is sleek from the rain and the atmosphere holds a fresh moisture that fills my lungs.

“You know, I’m actually excited about this movie… I haven’t been on a date in so long…” He says as he sways his arms to show me that he’s yielded to my love. He smiles and looks at me.

“Me too.” I say.

“I hope you like it because it could run pretty late. I don’t want you staying up past your bedtime.”

“I’m a big girl, I can do what I want,” I say.

I move closer to him, taking a brave step …. “Maybe we can spend tonight at your place.”

I say it as if to whisper the loud intention that I have. I’m craving for him and he wants me too.

I look ahead, the only thing in sight is a parked black car. It is spectacular and peculiar that it catches me off guard. It’s like seeing a fish out of water, chewing grass.

The car is black and shiny, dotted with the tiny raindrops of Aldin Town. It’s a bit too odd and conspicuous. The car represents a type of extravagance that’s out of place in this rainy town. It’s just parked there with black, tinted windows. We both notice the odd car as we walk past it.

“Um…” I say, but not finding the words.

The window rolls down a tiny crack and a vanilla smoke escapes the car and hits my nose. It awakens all my senses to the tobacco odor of the cigars from the pool lounge.

It was where the whole crew used to hang, no other place smells like that. They are the same people Marc grew up around, the ones that betrayed him…

“I don’t think I’m going to be able to see the movie tonight…” I say to him.

“What…. We’re almost there,” he says.

“I know… it’s just that I remembered something.”

“Why what’s wrong?” he asks. He puts his hand on his chest, the same place I felt that thermos the other day and says, “I’ll protect you.”

The car’s engine starts up with the huge growl. It’s just there, idling and making sure that we see it and feel it.

Owen and I start walking slowly… and it has the audacity to start following us and simply trail behind us. It’s mimicking us, in a taunting and haunting manner. Like some type of sick joke.

Then suddenly the black car tears past, going impossibly fast… I jump up and land on my hands on the wet sidewalk. No car has ever driven like that in the tiny streets of Aldin Town.

“I need to go home.”

He senses the danger too.. He’s uncomfortable, I can see it…