The Secrets Behind the Mask

Chapter 9 - Possibilities and Assumptions

I dragged my feet and roamed around the kitchen as I searched for the pack of the trash bag that I kept before in one of the supply cabinets. I had been looking for it for almost five minutes, but I still could not find it even though I was sure that I kept it there. Tomorrow is the schedule for the collection of garbage in our district, and I had to put out the trash night before since garbage collectors start their operation early in the morning.

In Japan, there is a strict implementation of waste disposal wherein all households must separate their trash according to its types, such as plastics and packaging, burnable waste and non-burnable waste, and others. Each type has a different collection schedule, and they are collected in one of the collection sites, which varies in every district. Tomorrow was the schedule for burnable wastes, so I had to put it out already.

My feet stopped in front of the kitchen cabinets and stared at it for a while as I tried to remember where exactly I kept that trash bag. It did not take long when a memory flashed on my mind, and I finally remembered that I put those bags in the supply room, where I kept the vacuum and the mop. I walked out of the kitchen and headed to the room near my bathroom, at the end of the hallway. It was a small room used for keeping any cleaning supplies.

As soon as I went back to the kitchen, I started segregating my trash and put all the burnable waste inside the bag. It should be an easy task that would only take a small amount of time, but it still took me more time to finish it than it should, especially in closing the bag, because of my injured hand. At times like this, I could not help but wish to be able to undo everything that I had done that day so I would not have to suffer like this.

“Oh my god. I’m finally done.” I exhaustedly muttered to myself and stood straight on my feet.

I held the bag in one hand and walked towards the entrance door. I had to put my trash outside but still within the area of my house, so I could immediately give it to the garbage collectors tomorrow morning. I cannot put it elsewhere in the street because that would be against the country’s law in waste disposal.

A cold wind blew against my skin the moment I opened the door. It was cold enough to make my body shivered a bit, and my arms had goosebumps even though I was already wearing a sweatshirt. It was already 9:00 PM, and the temperature was colder than in the morning. The only way to warm me for that night was to stay inside the house and kept all windows closed.

I walked towards the wall at the corner of the gate and was about to put the trash there when suddenly, I heard my phone rang in the pockets of my sweatshirt. I halted on my tracks and put the trash down first to check who was calling, and my eyes immediately widened in surprise when Takuma’s name flashed on the screen.

I stood there for a while like a statue, not moving an inch as I kept my gaze on my phone’s screen. There was nothing wrong with Takuma calling me at that time. It was just…I was not yet ready to talk to him, and I had not decided whether I should tell him about what happened to me that morning. To tell him about Nishimoto, especially when I had not proven yet that it was really him.

My phone continued ringing for a few more seconds, then it stopped, followed by a notification on my phone stating that Takuma’s call log was registered as a missed call. I let out a heavy and deep breath in relief because I did not really know what to do. I wanted to tell him, but I was afraid that I might cause a false alarm. And if I chose not to tell him, I was sure that I would feel guilty about it for as long as I kept it in me.

I never lied to Takuma, not even once, and I had never forgotten my promise to him that I would tell him everything in case I noticed something suspicious. But what if I was just being paranoid, and the things that I had been thinking about Nishimoto were only caused by mixed emotions that had built up in me after watching that interview? I reasoned to myself. I was lost in my own thoughts and was only brought back to my senses when I heard a ping from my phone.

I checked who sent me the message and instantly felt guilt rushed in me when I saw Takuma’s name again. I knew that I had to decide and think quickly because if I had not responded for a long time, Takuma might assume that something happened to me. I bit my lip and contemplated, trying to think things through, and in the end, I finally decided to open his message.

           T: Are you busy?

           A: I put the garbage out. I’ll take a shower first then I’ll call you back later.

           T: Okay. I’ll wait for your call.

I hurriedly put the trash bag on the corner of the gate and headed back inside the house to take a shower. On my way to the bathroom, I made sure that the entrance door was properly locked and all the lights were turned off except the ones in the hallway. I’ll use this time to decide whether I should tell him about it or not, I thought to myself as I entered the bathroom.

As soon as I stood in front of the shower, my mind started thinking about a lot of possibilities and consequences that might happen if I chose to not tell Takuma. In case I was right about encountering Nishimoto today, and I did not tell it to Takuma, it might put me in danger and everyone who had a connection to me here in Sapporo. Things that happened in Tokyo might occur or it might even be worse than that.

On the other hand, if I chose to tell Takuma and it turned out that I was wrong, Takuma and my family will surely become worried about me. They might insist on living here with me for a while until they made sure that I’m safe. Aside from that, the Police Department will focus their investigations here in Sapporo, and they might probably neglect to check other areas or cities which will increase Nishimoto’s mobility around the country.

If I weigh all the possibilities, I can conclude that it was safer to tell Takuma rather than not. The Police Department’s actions after learning about it might cause disturbance in the city, and my family might endlessly worry and stress over my safety, but at the end of the day, everything will go well. We might be able to stop Nishimoto from his plans, and…they might be able to capture him again.

I took a deep breath and decided to open the shower. I closed my eyes and let the warm water ran in my skin for a long time, washing all the tension and tiredness away from my body. Then those feelings were replaced with relief, and the warm temperature of the water against my skin gave me a peaceful and clearer mind than before. I had been through this a lot, and I should already know by now that hiding it from Takuma will only make things worse, I thought to myself.

I stayed inside the bathroom for more than half an hour, and when I had already decided what I wanted to do, I closed the shower and reached for the towel hanging at the drywall. As I wiped my skin with the soft fabric, my eyes caught my reflection on the mirror, and can't help but stare at it for a while. My eyes looked tired, and distress was visible on my face. If Takuma could see me right now, he will instantly know that there’s something wrong, I thought to myself.

A deep sigh came out from my lips then I averted my gaze back to my skin as I continued to dry myself. It took me another thirty minutes inside, doing skincare and other things for hygiene before I finally went up in my bedroom with my phone in my hand. The light in my room was off when I got there, so I reached for the switch and turned it on.

I still cannot sleep at night if the light in my room was off because the feeling of not being able to see anything scared me and made me anxious. It kept me awake at night, and I felt suffocated, thinking worst case scenarios that might happen to me in that darkness, especially when I was aware that I was alone in that house.

My back pushed the door closed behind me, and the same time I locked it, I heard a ping from my phone. I checked it and saw a notification saying that Takuma sent me a message. If I’m going to tell him about it, I must do it now or else I might change my mind again, I thought to myself as I slid the notification to open his message.

           T: Hey, I’ll wait for your call, okay? I just want to know how’s your day.

Takuma usually sent me a message like that whenever I was taking too long to call him back because he was used to me responding not less than an hour, unlike now that more than an hour had already passed. He was also fully aware that whenever I was taking too long to respond, it was because I was doing something or…something was bothering me.

My finger pressed the call button, and I did not have to wait for too long because, after three rings, Takuma answered the call.

“Hi,” Takuma greeted in a low yet gentle tone. “Sorry to bother you. Are you about to sleep?”

“Hello. Uhm…no I just got out of the shower. Sorry for taking too long.” I said while I kept my place and stood firmly in front of my door.

“It’s okay,” Takuma responded. There was a short silence between us after that, but it did not last long when he spoke again. “How’s our day?”

I swallowed to ease my dry throat. You have to tell him, Annika. That’s what you’ve decided to do, I reminded myself before nodding in agreement. “I’m…I’m not doing well.”

“I see. Is it about the interview that was nationally broadcasted this morning?”

“Part of,” I admitted.

“Why? Did something happen?” Takuma asked, with worry in his voice.

“Yeah. But before we talk about that, do you know something about that interview?” I inquired, then I heard Takuma hummed in response on the other side of the line. “How is it going? The investigation, I mean. Is what the Chief Officer had said in his interview was the whole truth?”

There was a subtle tone of doubt in my voice because I knew that there were times that the Police Department does not disclose everything about their investigation due to confidentiality. The statements they had released this morning were mostly true but not really the whole truth, probably because they were aware that Nishimoto was also keeping an eye on them.

There was another silence on the line then I heard a background noise of someone closing a book. Takuma was probably reading some documents at that time.

“Not really.” Takuma finally answered. I nodded in understanding, even though he cannot really see it.

“Are you allowed to disclose it to me?”

“You know I never hide anything from you, Annika. I will always tell you everything that you need to know but for now…I just want you to have peace of mind and to not think about these things. I’ll tell you when I get there, okay?”

“That’s…impossible,” I answered in a low tone, almost like a whisper.

“What do you mean?”

I quietly took a deep breath as I played with my toes. “I need to know, right now,” I said in a serious tone, indirectly telling Takuma that it was a serious and urgent matter. Because if the other matters that the Police Department did not close in their interview were related to the possible whereabouts of Nishimoto, then it might help me to know if my assumption about Nishimoto being here in Sapporo was true and possible.

“…Alright, I’ll tell you. But you have to tell me what happened to you, okay?” Takuma decided, to which I hummed in agreement. “Okay first, it’s true that Nishimoto Ken is still here in the country. But unlike what the Chief was trying to say to everyone about him planning to leave the country, we are assuming the opposite. We assumed that Nishimoto doesn’t really have any plan of leaving this country yet. Because it has been more than six months. Meaning, all this coordination with the airlines in the whole country is pointless, at least for now.”

“Why?” I curiously asked. “Why did you assume that he does not want to leave the country to escape?”

“It’s not like he doesn’t want to. To me, it seems like he’s waiting for something, or…maybe he’s planning to do something.” Takuma clarified. “And the reason for my assumption is that…there are some people who reported to us that a certain woman was asking questions about Nishimoto Ken. She even went to your former university in Tokyo.”

“A woman?”

“Yeah. I’m assuming that woman was an accomplice and collecting information, but she might also be just some student who was curious about his case.”

“I don’t understand. If that woman was an accomplice, why would she ask and collect information about Nishimoto?”

“About that,” he started, a little hesitant. “The only reason I could think of was that maybe, that woman was only using the excuse of asking about Nishimoto to indirectly get information about you.”

My eyes widened in surprise, and I felt chills ran down my spine. “…What…do you mean?”

“Annika, we can’t deny the fact that your name is connected to his. Whenever his name would be brought up, your name always follows because you are one of his victims,” he explained.

I felt my world stopped moving from that realization because what Takuma was saying was a strong possibility. Nishimoto is smart, and going against him was like playing mind games. I had known for a long time how he played his games. But it still amazed and terrified me of how capable he was. He is truly an exceptional man.

“But of course, that’s still an assumption, and we are in the process of debating over it.” Takuma continued.

“Does that mean...that he might be here in Sapporo?” I reluctantly asked with a shaking voice due to fear.

“No, no. I don’t think so. We made sure to coordinate with your university to treat any information about you as confidential. Only the head of the University, his secretary and selected staff know that you transferred here to Sapporo. They processed your papers themselves so your information would not leak out.” He explained. “Aside from them, only us and your family know that you are there. And we are being careful of not disclosing it to anyone.”

A long and deep breath that I did not realize I had been keeping the whole time in me came out from my lips in relief.  What Takuma had said really assured me, and it stopped the raging fear and anxiety that was gradually eating me alive from going wild and uncontrollable. His statements somehow reassured me that it was not Nishimoto whom I encountered that morning.

“It’s actually one of the reasons why we refused to send policemen to watch over you there. Because for sure, Nishimoto also expected that move from us and probably waiting for us to do it so he could know where exactly you are.” Takuma added.

“But…my family visits me here at least once a month. Does that mean that Nishimoto might have followed them here?”

“No. Your family is taking extra measures to ensure that nobody’s following them, and whenever they visited you, they are being assisted by some of our men in disguise.” Takuma reassured. “You don’t have to worry about that.”

“I…I see.” I uttered in relief. I felt like a huge load of stress was lifted off my shoulder. “Thanks for informing me.”

“Yeah. Now it’s your turn.” Takuma suddenly said in a serious and serene tone, telling me to not dare lie to him. “What happened?”

“…Um…” I paused for a while and straightened my back, then headed straight at the glass sliding window of my room for a change of pace. The curtain was not covering the glass door because I put it on the side this morning and let the warm sunlight filled my room.

“About that,” I continued. “This morning, we went to a café. But…on our way, I kind of…recognized a scent that was so familiar to me. It has…the same scent as that perfume I smelled before inside my room in Tokyo. You know, that one I smelled on my bed.” I paced back and forth in front of the glass sliding door as I tried to think about how I would explain it further to Takuma.

“I know it was ridiculous because it’s not like Nishimoto’s the only one who can use that perfume. But right at that moment, I honestly thought that maybe I encountered Nishimoto…though I was not sure.  Maybe I was just so bothered by the news this morning that my thoughts were filled with nothing but him.” I paused for a while and tried to gather enough courage to say my next words.

“I…I was so scared.” I admitted. “But right now that you confirm that it was impossible for him to be here, I…somewhat feel relieved.”

“No, it’s not ridiculous, and I understand. I know that small things like that can easily remind you of Nishimoto. Because it's not easy to forget those things that he did to you.”

I bit my lips when I felt like tears started filling my eyes. “Yeah. Can you believe it? I can’t forget about him, and there’s no single day that I had not thought about him. Even if he’s not here, I still feel like he’s with me and watching me. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Hey, calm down,” Takuma said in a soothing voice. “I have promised you, right? That I will protect you and that I will make sure that he won’t be able to lay a finger on you again. He can try, but he won’t be able to take you away from me…from us.”

Takuma’s words were like an enchantment cast in the raging storm in me, and it effectively calmed the fear and anxiousness consuming my whole existence. It was like a fire that warms me in the cold and freezing weather. He was like a place where I knew I would be safe and free.

“Yeah. I trust and believe in you.” I whispered, but audible enough for him to hear. Takuma giggled on the other side of the line.

“You know you can always count on me,” he reassured.

“Thank you…so much.”

“Don’t mention it. I’ll do anything for you.” He said, which made both of us silent for a moment. But it did not last long when he spoke again. “Anyway, it’s already late. You should take a rest now. I’ll call you again tomorrow, okay?”

I hummed. “Okay. Good night.”

I ended the call with a more relaxed and peaceful expression on my face. It was a good thing that I asked Takuma about it, and I felt better after telling him what happened that morning. If I had not talked to him or told him about it, I might not be able to sleep that night, and I would probably dream about Nishimoto again.

I turned towards the glass sliding door and pulled the curtain to cover the glass door. However, my hand stopped midway when I noticed something outside – exactly in front of Naoko’s house. The position of my glass door gave me a full view of Naoko’s house including the space in front of it, and unlike mine, her house doesn’t have a gate – just a small space leading to her house’s door.

The first thing that my eyes caught was the car in front of Naoko’s house. It was dark outside, but I easily recognized it because the car’s headlights were on. I was about to ignore it, but my eyes caught another thing. I was not so sure because it was too dark, but I felt like…there’s someone’s figure standing beside that car. And that person was standing in my direction as if…that person was staring at me too.