The Secrets Behind the Mask

Chapter 3 - A New Life in Sapporo

My eyes judgingly stared at the sleeveless white dress lying on my bed – scrutinizing it from the end of its skirt up to the strap – and I could not help but let out a heavy sigh in my disappointment and annoyance. That day was truly the worst day of my life since I moved to Sapporo and started living alone far from Kaya, or anyone from my family.

I took another deep breath, filled with despair, before finally deciding to get the dress from the bed and wear it. I rarely wear dresses, and I’m more comfortable wearing t-shirts paired with sweatpants or jeans, especially when I’m going outside the house or visiting some places that don’t really require wearing something classy or formal. But today was an exception because of the damn hand injury I got this morning after hitting my mirror with my fist.

Moving the fingers on my injured hand even a little bit was already enough to make me wince in pain, so trying to put my hand in a shirt sleeve was nearly impossible. I was even certain that just a little squeeze on my fingers would make me whine, and I did not want that – I won’t be able to stand the pain. So here I was, putting the dress on my body with a sour expression on my face.

“If only I did not need to go outside and visit a doctor, I would not even think about wearing this dress.” I ranted to myself while trying my very best to get my injured hand past the strap of the dress. It did not take long before I finally managed to put the dress on me without causing any movement in my injured hand.

I went in front of the standing mirror, beside my bedside table and stared at how the dress fit on my body. It has the perfect fit on me – not too small nor too big – and it looked casual enough that anyone can wear it anywhere and any time of the day. The end of the skirt was two inches above my knee, which made me feel a little uncomfortable, but it allowed me to move my legs freely.

I pulled the skirt down, trying to at least cover more my legs, then I turned around one more time to see if it looked fine from behind, before facing again on the mirror. My eyes traveled from my head down to the front of my stomach then suddenly, I noticed my injured hand, covered with a bandage.

As much as possible, I refrained from looking at my hand because the dark bruises on it made me feel worst and made me think of worst-case scenarios that might happen the moment I visit a doctor to check on it. I did not want to be pessimistic about it, but the way my hand looked scared me down to my core.

“I won’t hit a mirror again. As in ever…never again no matter how crazy I get.” I murmured. Of course, who would want to break their hands again?

I reached for my beige-colored shoulder bag purse on the bedside table and checked if I already put my cellphone, wallet, and house key in there. I hummed in relief when I made sure that everything was good and already in there then I turned towards the wall clock hanging above my study table on the left corner of the room.

It was nine o’clock in the morning, and I still had two hours before my scheduled appointment to a hospital for a checkup. But I wanted to leave the house as early as possible because I wanted to try the new café located in Odori, one of the largest shopping areas in the city. I haven’t tried it even once, but one of my new friends, who also lived in that neighborhood, bragged about how good their coffees are, and that was enough to persuade me to try it.

I looked around my room one last time before I finally headed downstairs towards the main door and reached for the doorknob. A beep sound coming from the door’s lock echoed in my whole apartment when I opened the door and stepped outside. Unlike my apartment in Tokyo, the house I was currently living in has a passcode lock on the door, and it also has a cylinder door lock for additional security.

On the front of the door, there was a small space filled with plants. I thought it would look better if I put something there, so I used that space and placed a few different kinds of plants on pots. I’m not really into planting or taking care of plants, but seeing a fresh green color in the morning and before leaving the house somehow made me feel a bit relaxed and calm.

I walked towards the house gate and was about to open it when I heard faint voices chattering not far from where I was. The gate was not that high, which allows me to see everything that was happening outside from the spot where I stood, and when I turned to my side, I saw two moving trucks in front of the empty house beside mine.

A woman used to live in that house. But for the past months, I had not seen anyone there nor any light coming from that house. Until I heard some of my neighbors talked about that woman had move out or something about her selling it to others due to debts. I was not really into gossip, but sometimes you would not be able to avoid hearing it, especially when they were always on the street, talking about other people’s lives.

I had only seen that woman a few times since I moved there. I did not really know anything about her, and her life was not my business, so I left it like that and continued living my peaceful life there.

Guess we’re having a new neighbor, I thought to myself as I watched some men, who were wearing blue uniforms, carried lots of boxes and brought them inside that house.

I shrugged my shoulders, then turned away from them and opened the gate of my house. I did not want to spend much time watching those men, unlike some of the middle-aged women who had gathered on the side of the street, probably waiting to see who the new neighbor would be. And it was a bright day; the weather was not that cold and not warm either – it was a perfect day to be out and do leisure things.

I also did not have to worry about being in crowded places because unlike in Tokyo, Sapporo has less population, and that day, it was a Wednesday morning wherein most of the people in that city were probably busy at work or school. Some of the establishments around that area, such as malls and markets, were not crowded with customers during that time of the day. But when the clock strikes at 5:00 in the afternoon, every part of the city will be busy again.

I left the house and started walking then suddenly, my eyes saw one of those middle-aged women was staring at me. She was looking at me as if she wanted to say something, but she just stared at me and did not say anything at all. I did not want to make her feel disrespected, so I greeted her with a smile, then I immediately looked away without waiting for her to smile back.

Sometimes the best thing to do to avoid ruining my day is to ignore things that are not worthy of my attention, I reminded myself as I continued walking.

That middle-aged woman was one of my neighbors who lived a few houses away from mine, but I did not really know her, not even her name. Since I moved there to Sapporo, I only have talked to selected people in that neighborhood, and the only people who gained my trust are Mika Sasaki and her family. She was my new friend who told me about that new café.

It was not like I hated my other neighbors. I just did not want myself to get involved with people who have nothing good to do with me. And, I might be assuming things, but I had a feeling that they were probably gossiping about me too because I rarely leave the house even during weekdays. They might even have thought that I was not approachable and friendly ‘cause I was not the type of person who would just approach anybody and talk to them.

Well, I did not have any reason to leave the house in the first place because I was not attending university during that semester, and I still have two more months before the new semester starts in April. By that time, I will be attending Hokkaido University with an Economics course. Aside from that, I only leave the house whenever I had to, and I had something important to go to.

I focused my eyes on the way ahead and held my injured hand carefully and closely to my body. It was a twenty-minute walk from my house going to Odori. But I did not mind it ‘cause I knew that after that long walk, I’ll be treating myself to a good coffee and desserts. Just thinking about it was enough to make my mouth water.

I stopped in front of a pedestrian lane after minutes of walking then I waited for the signal light for crossing the road to turn green. On the other side of that road is where the new café was located. While waiting, I looked around me and couldn’t help but notice the difference between living in Sapporo and Tokyo.

Sapporo is one of the largest cities in Japan, but unlike Tokyo, the city is more close to nature. There are a lot of parks and a forest near the center of the city, while the overall weather there is good and more comfortable. When it comes to the people living there, they are more liberal than the conservative population in Tokyo. They are more foreigner-friendly, and the city is considered the “home to many international students.” For them, seeing a different face like me is no big deal.

My gaze shifted at the signal light when it finally turned green, and as I crossed the road, my eyes could already see the signboard of the new café that I was looking for – the Aki Café. A smile formed on my lips, and the feeling of excitement rushed in my body while my pace quickened. I was still a few meters away from the café, but I already got a whiff of their coffee’s scent. It was strong and alluring.

I excitedly went into the store, without even reading some of the signs and posters posted outside of the café, then one of their staff greeted me. I smiled back at her and went directly to the table at the back of the café since there were only a few customers in that area of the shop.

The interior design of the café was simple like the other normal cafes around in the area. There were pictures and quotes related to coffee hanging on the wall, and most of the furniture are made of wood that was painted with black and brown paints. The walls are concrete and not made of glass, unlike the café we usually visit in Tokyo. But the ambiance is much more relaxing and comfortable as if I was in the comfort of my own house.

Of all the things that were there inside the café, what caught my attention the most was the large area on the corner of the shop that has a few shelves. There were no tables in that spot, only tall brown painted shelves which made me feel a bit curious. I could not see what were on those shelves from where I was since only the sides of the shelves were facing me.

As I tried to squint my eyes to have a better look at those shelves, one of the staff of the café, who wore a white dress shirt tucked in a black skirt, walked towards my table. She greeted me with the sweetest smile on her face before handing me the menu.

“Good day! Here’s our menu. I hope you enjoy your stay here.” She politely said.

“Thank you,” I smiled back as I reached for the menu from her hand. “By the way, may I ask what is in those shelves over there?”

“Oh, those shelves contain books that our customers can read if they want to read something while having their coffees.”

My eyes widened in surprise, and my smile stretched. “Really? What kind of books? Do you have any literary or non-fiction books?”

“Yes, we have most types of books there. I tried looking for novels in there before and found a lot of masterpieces.” She informed then turned towards where the shelves are. “You may go there and search for books that might catch your interest.

“That’s nice. I’ll go there later after I ordered my coffee.”

“Yes, please and you can take your time ordering,” she said. “And oh, if you need a recommendation for a dessert, I recommend our tiramisu. It’s one of our best-selling and it’s personally prepared by the owner of this café.”

“That’s great! I love tiramisu.” I beamed. “Okay, I think I’ll have my order now. I’ll have one of your best-selling tiramisu and a…” I paused as I scanned the menu. “A cup of mocha latte, please.”

“Okay, your order will be here in ten minutes.”

I nodded. “Yes, thank you. By the way, I’ll check the shelves first. If my order came, just leave it here on my table.”

“Okay.” The woman said before turning away.

I watched as the woman left and walked towards their counter, then my gaze shifted to the bookshelves at the corner of the café. There were only three people in there, probably because some of the customers were busy with their phones and did not have the leisure to check the books.

I protectively held my injured hand and slowly stood from my seat to head towards the books. I still have more than an hour before my scheduled appointment, so it was okay for me to take my time and read a little bit while enjoying my food. I immediately looked for the novel section of the shelves and searched through the number of books there. They have all kinds of genres from mystery to horror, romance, and fantasy, which was great.

My eyes caught the book that was sitting at the end of the middle row of the shelf. I was not sure if it was because of the book cover or its title, but the moment my eyes landed on it, I felt the urge to reach my hand and get it. As a reader, I sometimes felt an instant connection to a book even before I could read any part of it. It was as if those books were calling me and want me to read them.

My finger slowly caressed the cover of that book as I stared intently at the letters embedded on it, which formed the words, ‘Birds That Don’t Fly.’ I pulled the book out of the shelf, and its cover made me more intrigued about the story. The cover has a cage on it, and inside it was a raven, and the other black crows were flying restlessly outside the cage.

My first impression of that cover was the raven inside was being sacrificed by the others. Because there was one crow that was holding the cage’s lock with its beak, and it seemed like it was the one who locked that raven inside.

“A psychological novel?” I murmured to myself. Just from staring at it, I could already feel that it has a dark story. I flipped the book to check the blurb on the back of the cover and hummed in satisfaction with how the writer wrote it. “Guess I’ll try this one.”

I returned to my table, and by the time I sat on my seat, I saw the woman who took my order a while ago, walking towards me while holding my dessert and latte. She stopped in front of my table and smiled widely at me as she gave me my orders.

“Thank you for waiting,” she said.

“Yeah, thanks,” I replied, then averted my gaze to the delicious tiramisu in front of me.

I felt my mouth watered when I saw how rich and thick the cream filling in it, and the smell of the cocoa powder made it even better. I was ready to dig in when suddenly, the woman put another plate of brownies on my table. I looked at her with a confused expression on my face then she flashed a small smile.

“Don’t worry about the brownies. It’s on the house.” She said, then her gaze trailed down on my injured hand that was on the table.

My eyes blinked twice before I could respond. “O-oh, thanks. I appreciate it.”

I honestly could not help but feel awkward because that was the first time a café gave me a free dessert. But I thought that maybe it was their strategy to get more customers and to have their loyalty since their business is new. Maybe they were still in the middle of building their business’ reputation in that area.

“You’re welcome. I’ll be taking my leave now.”

The woman bowed her head before turning away from my table while I, on the other hand, was still speechless in my seat. I looked at the two chocolate brownies for a while before finally pulling the plate near me. It was only at that time when I saw that aside from the brownies, there was also a message on the plate written with chocolate syrup.

The message said, Get well soon.

I stared at it for a while then a smile formed on my lips. I think I already know the reason why they gave me a free dessert, I thought to myself as I picked my fork and sliced the brownies. That woman surely noticed my injured hand.

“I won’t regret coming back here,” I whispered before taking a bite on it.

I took my time savoring my desserts and coffee while enjoying the book that I found, and it caused me to almost forgot about my scheduled appointment for a checkup. It was a good thing that I decided to check my phone while I was reading and saw that I only had fifteen more minutes before my appointment.

I panicked and had no choice but to eat all the remaining dessert in one go and gulp my mocha latte as fast as I could. Then after paying for my bill, I immediately went out of the café. The hospital was not far from the café, but I will be late if I go there on foot. The only choice I had was to rent a taxi, and that was what I did, even though I knew full well that it will cost me a lot. And after more or less than ten minutes of drive, I finally reached the hospital and made it in time for my appointment.

I hurriedly went to the fifth floor where my appointment was, and by the time I got there, one of the nurses was already calling my name. I walked towards her and informed her that I was Annika Turner, then she led me to where the doctor was.

“Good day, Ms. Turner.” The doctor gently greeted then he pointed at the seat in front of his table. “Please take a seat.”

I gave him a quick look, and if I was right, the doctor might be in his late 50’s. He has a bit of white hair mixed with the black ones on the top of his head, and he has a kind face and gentle aura around him. But I could feel that he was maybe a little strict because of how his eyebrows looked.

I walked towards him and did what I was told. I sat on one of the chairs while trying my best not to show how nervous I was for whatever the result of the checkup would be. Please, I hope my hand is fine, I chanted inside my head. I watched as the doctor read something from the documents he was holding, then after a short while, he put it down and looked at me.

“It says here that you injured your hand. May I know how’s your feeling? Does it hurt a lot?” The doctor asked in a calm voice. I knew I should be more relaxed because of his mellow voice but the anxiousness and nervousness in my body won’t settle down.

“Uhm, yeah it hurts a lot. I already applied an ice compression on it for first aid, but still, the pain is there.” I admitted.

“Okay. May I see your hand?”

I paused for a while, then nodded as I reluctantly showed him my hand. I was so scared of what he might do that I visibly flinched when I felt him touched my hand, and I noticed how the doctor got a little surprised too by my reaction.

He looked at me and smiled. “Relax. I’m just going to check it.”

I forced a smile on my lips. “Sorry,” I said in a low voice.

He continued checking my hand while gently applying a little pressure on some of its parts, and he asked me how it felt whenever he pressed on it. I answered all his questions and told him that my hand hurt whenever I moved my fingers or squeezed it even a little bit.

After that short consultation, he proceeded to do an x-ray on my hand. I was honestly nervous while we were at it, and I was scared to see any broken bone or anything in my hand, but thankfully, everything was well – no fracture or any broken bones.

Before I left the hospital, the doctor advised me to apply ice compression on it every day for four weeks or until it got better. He even warned me not to let my right hand do strenuous work or even carry heavy things for a while as it might get its condition worse. He also recommended some medicine in case the pain became intolerable. About the dark bruises on my hand, he said it was normal, and it will get better over time.

I felt like I could finally breathe freely again after I heard all that from my doctor. Because I really thought that I already broke my hand and I won’t be able to use it like how I used to. The relief I felt was incomparable that I wanted to cry right at that moment.

I want to treat myself to a chocolate cake after that stressful checkup, I thought to myself as I walked down the streets going to my house. It was already past noon, and I had not had my lunch yet. I could eat somewhere outside, but somehow I felt tired after staying out for three hours, and I badly wanted to take a rest.

I took the last turn on the street, which leads to my neighborhood, and after less than a minute, I could already see familiar houses. I kept my eyes ahead of me, and the first thing I noticed was the two moving trucks I saw this morning. They were still not done loading and transferring things to that house.

My gaze shifted and focused on my house, and as I got near it, I suddenly noticed something red lying on the ground right in front of my gate. My eyebrows pulled together in confusion, and I tried to remember if I ordered something that will be delivered today.

I don’t think I have anything to be delivered today, I thought to myself. I squinted my eyes to get a better look at it, and it was only then when I realized what it was. My feet stopped right in front of it, and I stared with widened eyes at the bouquet of roses lying on the ground. What’s this? I nervously asked.

I looked around the area surrounding me to see who might put it there, but I saw no one except the delivery men of those moving trucks. I looked back at the flowers and contemplated what I should do with it.

It was not the first time someone delivered a bouquet of red roses to my address in Sapporo. The first time I received those same red roses was two weeks ago, and it came from someone whose name was King Jackson. I did not know who it was. But I assumed that it came from the Jackson family because Aunt Claire told me that Alisa Jackson called a month ago and informed that her mother, Mrs. Jackson, already passed away.

But does sending me flowers necessary? I thought to myself. If only I could, I would leave that flowers there. But I was worried that some of my neighbors might complain if I just let it die there outside. I sighed in my defeat then my hand reluctantly reached for the flowers. The flowers still looked fresh, which means that it just got delivered there to my house.

I searched for any card or note in there. But to my surprise, I did not see anything. Didn't they put any card to at least let me know from whom it came was? I complained, but there was really nothing I could do about that.

“Fine, as if I have a choice,” I mumbled, a little irritated. I reached for the gate and was about to open it when suddenly, I heard someone spoke behind me.

“Another admirer?”