bound to the moonlight

Matt

Matt

The bell cut through the uncomfortable air as our tutor continued to interrogate me I growled under my breath at my tutor. It wasn't her lack of belief in my story that was bothering me I was more annoyed at the fact that it made people look at me. I've always been like that the best way I think to get through secondary school successfully is to try really hard to achieve invisibility. It was an effective enough survival method, if people dint know you were there they dint pick on you. Because of this I didn't like people drawing attention to me when I strived to not me seen. As our tutor paused to draw in a breath I took the opportunity and just grabbed my bag and loitered in the back of the room as the usual scrum made its way for the door. Mr Tutor began again continuing to talk to me about the importance of regular attendance, as I nodded vaguely but my eyes slid past her to Amy, or the new girl as everybody else referred to her. But I actually knew her name because I listened at least in a slightly absentminded way while the rest of the class eyed her long light brown hair that clearly needed brushing, and the scruffy formerly white trainers causing her to be disregarded to the point that they didn't even bother to remember her name. She wasn't one of their clicks, I could see she was a loner an outcast like me. She was a foster girl apparently, (I find out these sorts of snippets of information from eavesdropping on teachers. It was easy to be an effective eavesdropped when your invisible, and I was so effectively invisible even the staff disregarded me). After a few seconds the doorway cleared and it was just me the still prattling Miss Pearson and a similarly lingering Amy in the room. I looked over at her she was clearly taking great effort to avoid my glance, I couldn't blame her, But I also couldn't help it, I had laughed even though she hadn't said anything funny but it was when she looked at me there was something bizarre in her gaze. I wish I could explain it even in my own head though I couldn't justify it I guess it had something to do with the fact that she was the first girl to even glance in my direction in months even if it was accidentally, but I knew deep down it was something bigger than that.

"Can I go now?" I sighed to Miss Pearson as Amy fled the room.

"I don't think you appreciate how poor your attendance is and the possible repercussions of this." I growled and hoisted my bag up onto my shoulder. "Well I think maybe I should call your parents so we can talk about any issues you might be having." I sighed,

"Yeah great good luck with that." I said in a deadpan voice turning from her and just striding from the room, at least she hadn't tried the 'I'm your friend and I'm here if you want to talk' speech. I sighed and headed down the corridors which were now nearly empty I had no idea why everybody seemed to feel the need to sprint to class as quickly as possible, I preferred to linger and get into the class as late as possible every teacher had to give you at least a few minutes grace period. I felt my breath catch audibly as I saw Amy walking rather aimlessly in front of me. I was moving a lot faster and gaining on her. I felt my steps slow significantly as I fell into step behind her my feet seeming to have a mind of their own, at least that's what I told myself to make me seem less stalker ish. As we moved down the empty hall I found myself surveying her silently as she was intently studying a tattered timetable as though it held the secrets to life in it. She was very pretty in a battered sort of way. She was wearing a uniform so I couldn't judge her clothes though I'm not very gifted in that sort of thing anyway but I'm sure the others in the school had somehow managed it. She obviously had the lucky genes that gave her beautiful pale skin that wasn't marred by a single blemish. Her light brown thick hair fell loose down her back to her shoulder blades, it could have used a brush and yet I still found myself imagining what it would feel like to plunge my hand into those long locks. She stopped and I stumbled to a halt to watch as she looked left and right clearly very lost she seemed to shrug and just picked a direction. She turned left and I turned left after her instinctively. I stumbled as if one foot was trying to continue on and yet the other foot knew I was going in the wrong direction, I had German my room was up the stairs which was down the corridor on the right But I couldn't help it I carried on. 'Why?' That little annoying voice everybody has in their heads muttered. I slowed slightly and shrank closer to the wall. It was ridiculous, this is clearly how someone becomes a stalker but I couldn't stop my feet from moving towards her. She paused and looked down a side corridor without thought I followed her. 'what exactly are you after?' that voice piped in again, 'do you expect if you follow her down the corridor she'll suddenly turn around and say wow you've been following me since we left tutorial now I must f**k you. Is that what your expecting?' I growled at this annoying voice I don't know what I was doing but I couldn't seem to stop myself my bloody feet were just moving of their own accord. She turned around a corner and a second later I stumbled to a dead halt to see her frozen looking at a blank wall considering. I stood there gaping as my brain suddenly went into panic mode working furiously. She turned and jumped when she saw me and I felt the room go strangely airless. 'Say something clever' my brain shouted desperately,

"Sorry." I said weakly feeling my cheeks getting very hot. 'Inspired' that annoying voice muttered in my head. She looked horrified as her eyes widened slightly and she took a step back from me. I felt a strange desire to take a step closer even though I was clearly standing too close for her liking. I found myself gently bumping into the wall. "I I didn't mean to. I did say but you didn't seem to hear me." I lied as she just frowned at me, but it seemed like a better excuse than my feet just liked to follow you. "You want some help?" I asked, she frowned again those eyes intent as if she was weighing me up, her eyes were simply captivating, a deep dark brown almost verging on being black, I felt as if I could drown in those eyes if she kept looking at me like that. But as that thought even occurred to me it screeched to a halt as she had finished her evaluation, I just continued to gape for a few more seconds until she narrowed her eyes suspiciously and I realised far too late she had been holding out her timetable to me I silently took it careful not to touch her skin as I felt that this simple contact could have been so intense I may have just burst into flames if it happened. I smiled weakly at her as I shook the long absent strands of my fringe out of my eyes "L12." I said squinting at the timetable "you want to go upstairs." she nodded vaguely,

"Thanks." She said snatching the timetable back. she continued to look at me suspiciously and I wished the air would return to the room, or my brain would just start to work or something but no all I could do was stand their gaping like a village i***t at her, all I knew for certainty was I couldn't seem to let her out of this hallway. I opened my mouth desperately wanting to say something clever but nothing came out instead I just silently closed my mouth looking I'm sure more than slightly uncomfortable. Why couldn't I just move? Or say something anything?

"I ...I can help you find it." I said weakly, I should have just said nothing and been happy with that. "I'll be fine thanks." She said clearly desperate to get away from me yet her voice still made tingles shoot down my spine I nodded but honestly I was a little disappointed I bit my lip and wondered was I actually trying to hit on her. She was beautiful and outcast but clearly through her own choice where as I was this year's looser and would be no matter what I tried. 'p.s' that annoying voice piped in with again 'hitting on her would involve actually speaking to her. What your doing is gawking and scaring her.' She nodded and flattened herself against the wall to slide past me. I froze my brain jamming I just couldn't think of what to do I just stood there with my eyes locked on her. She drew alongside me and I breathed in slowly trying to calm myself I found my eyes drifting closed as I breathed in deeper. Her scent suddenly flooded through me, and my eyes flew open.

"FUCK." I purred (that was the only way I could describe my voice it was a purr) "You smell really good." I said breathily. My eyes widened in horror as I realised what I had said but my mouth had done what my feet had done before and just moved without any input from my conscious awareness. I saw Amy flatten herself against the wall looking horrified not that I could blame her as I was being more than a little weird. I knew that I was rapidly turning an intense crimson as my mouth was opening and closing like a dying goldfish as I thought furiously for something to say to make this better.

"What... what did you say?" she whispered,

"I...I am so sorry I didn't meant to... oh fuck." I said cradling my head in my hands in horror, I am such a looser! Stalking girls down hallways and then sniffing them. But there was something else that I had pushed aside in my horror the fact that she honestly did smell f*****g amazing, I had never honestly smelt a girl before but I was just breathing and it was like her scent had just hit me like a punch to the gut, I just wanted to grab her and bury my nose into the crook of her neck and gorge myself on her scent, I hoped she couldn't tell how my body was instinctively responding to her, but I'm a teenage boy I can't be expected to control things like that. She frowned at me her horror seeming to be overcome by ... curiosity maybe. She seemed to be trying to puzzle something out even in our confined space she still took a tentative step forwards. She reached out and gently gripped my forearms; I felt my breath catch as Goosebumps popped up from the contact of her warm skin on mine. She gently pulled my arms down from my face and my eyes were instantly locked on hers, if I wanted to resist her I couldn't have I don't think I would have the power to deny her anything. Holding my hands down by my waist she took another small step I tried to press myself back further but found my progress impeded by the wall behind me, damn it this hallway was narrow. She leaned in slightly tilted her head and pressed her nose into my neck breathing in slowly. I felt the Goosebumps popping up on my skin beneath her nose, but I didn't move. I couldn't I wanted to scream and crush her into me this was the weirdest thing ever which made me wish I wasn't so f*****g turned on by it. I tried to breathe properly but I couldn't do it my heart beat erratically in my chest as her hair brushed across my neck. Suddenly she leapt back from me her eyes widening with undisguised terror as she shrank back against the wall opposite.

"I have to go." she gabbled and ran from the corridor. I just stood and gaped at her my mouth again employing its back up dying goldfish expression.

"She's as insane as me." I muttered to myself and hefted my bag back onto my shoulder and began slowly walking back down the hallway towards my German class. I looked a little hopefully down the corridor but wasn't surprised to see Amy had vanished though a little disappointed. The image of her leaning into my neck pressing her nose to me, made my walk slightly more awkward. The thing was as odd as that encounter had been clearly the strangest thing ever but when she had run away all I felt was regret I just wanted to pull her into me I just wanted to press her into me and become immersed in her scent. "God no wonder you're the f*****g school looser." I muttered to myself as I walked down the deserted corridor." you f*****g weirdo."