bound to the moonlight

22.Matt

"Matthew what are you Eating?" Alice screeched as she walked into the kitchen. I groaned,

"It's a big Mac." I Said licking my fingers before balling the wrapper up and flinging it in the bin.

"A what,?"

"A big Mac," I Said with a sigh feeling suddenly tired as I knew this would be a long and very circular argument, I had heard similar between her and my father in my younger youth "it was a big Mac and no it's not the first one I've eaten. it's not even the first one of the day." She open and closed her mouth a few times rage seeming to rob her of the ability to even speak. Eventually her voice returned and her response was underwhelming,

"Matthew we are vegetarian." I could feel the expression on my face and knew Alice wouldn't approve she didn't but I couldn't seem to wipe the exasperation off my features.

"See I don't think I am anymore."

"You have just decided to give up on your whole belief system."

"your belief system Alice not mine. I don't agree and so I will be eating meat but I don't expect you to serve it don't worry."

"What is this some sort of teenage rebellion?" Alice squeaked, I couldn't help but Laugh which made Alice look more pissed off than ever.

"only You could think that going to McDonalds constitutes a teenage rebellion." I said calmly actually wishing I hadn't mentioned McDonalds as just hearing the name was making me feel hungry.

"Matthew we don't eat meat our survival doesn't depend on suffering." I groaned.

"speak for yourself ." I said pushing myself off of the kitchen stool "suffering seems to be how I am defining my existence at the moment." I said as I strode to the door.

"Matthew Matthew where are you going?"

"Out I'm afraid another sign of a teenage rebellion my sudden love of running." I said calmly striding out of the kitchen feeling that I just needed to be out of that suffocating space. I strode out of the garden quickly in case Alice decided to follow me which thankfully she didn't and the second I gained the road I broke into a light jog as my feet instinctively took me towards my now familiar path to the woods my physical activity almost instantly focusing my mind and calming me I felt my tense muscles ease out as my body just settled into its rhythm.

My feet slowed to a stop and I leaned over resting my hands on my legs and hanging my head, my heavy breath producing clouds as I Panted heavily. I pushed myself up with a groan and finally allowed my mind to register where I was as I honestly didn't have a clue allowing my feet to just move as they wanted. I frowned as I looked up at the large church that loomed above me an ominous imposing stone building. I don't know why but I found myself walking towards the church I slipped inside the gate and walked along the narrow path trying not to look at the gravestones grouped around the path. The large door was open and I walked quietly inside wishing I was dressed in something better than my running kit. I had never been in this church before I Had never really been in any church before it wasn't Sort of my families 'thing' but as I walked into the cool cavernous building I felt strangely calmed by the strange aromas and rhythmic chanting that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere as if the very walls themselves were singing. Nobody jumped out to declare me a heathen so I slowly walked in and slipped into an empty pew not having a clue what I was doing there but I liked it here the atmosphere instantly calmed me. I breathed in slowly the cool damp air seemed to cleanse me, I lifted my head up and wasn't completely surprised as my eyes landed on a slender brunette who was kneeling reverently in front of a stand of candles her eyes locked on the flames as she whispered a prayer under her breath. I hung my head and closed my eyes feeling like I was spying on something very private but I couldn't stop my eyes flickering up to her she was just simply captivating but thankfully she couldn't seem to sense my gaze as I found my eyes impossible to pull away from her. She was gazing up at the altar reverently I did feel guilty but couldn't seem to stop watching her . As I watched I worried that I had indeed spoken out loud as I saw her head twitch just a little as if she was thinking of looking behind her but thought better of it. She placidly turned her head back to her prayers and I hung my head wondering vaguely if I should pray, but I found myself just staring blankly at the back of the pew in front.

"What are you doing here?" a sweet voice whispered next to my ear, I tried to ignore the shivers travelling up my back but couldn't stop myself from squirming uncomfortably in my seat as Amy slid into the pew next to me.

"I honestly have no idea." I said with a shrug finding it easier to look up at the altar than at her, I don't know how, why or when she had changed but she had somehow become bite the back of your hand beautiful, even though today she looked pale and tired, how did she manage to suit looking pale and tired.

"is it because I'm here?" she asked,

"No." I cut in thinking of my pride rather than logic, because logically a lot of things seemed to be happening to me that I didn't understand, so it was likely that I had been dragged here by that invisible and yet undeniable bond that I seemed to have with that girl however much she may deny it. "I just ... it its peaceful. What are you doing here?" I twisted to look at her as she failed to answer, she endearingly looked uncomfortable.

"I'm catholic." She finally said with a shrug, I couldn't stop a short laugh escaping from me, which ended abruptly when several people twisted in their seats to look at me disapprovingly. "And you thought a vegetarian werewolf was hilarious." I said with a snicker,

"I don't see why you find that amusing." Amy said simply, "my life is characterised by the early loss of everyone I love doesn't it make sense that I'd want to see that as part of a divine plan that I'd want to believe I might get to see my family again one day. To be honest most of it I don't believe in anymore I can't , I Don't believe God hears our prayers or that he knows or cares about my woes, and I think the majority of the bible is bollocks that it's just a story book written by men, but I find comfort in here and I feel their presence here. I don't think he hears my prayers here but I think maybe they hear me." With that she fell silent and I couldn't say anything I just sat there feeling like a complete jerk. "well I hope you find some peace from being here." Amy said gently, she reached out and gripped my hand. I knew she was going to leave but I didn't know what to do to make her stay. I just entwined my fingers in hers determined to stretch out the contact between us. Amy sighed peacefully her eyes locked on the altar, I wished that I could reach out and touch her but my courage wouldn't allow it, I didn't know how she would respond but I would guess that it wouldn't be in the way I want. She slowly slid her fingers from mine as if hoping that by being gentle I wouldn't notice and try to stop her.

"Amy." I said gently, she shook her head gently little coloured patches of light projected from the stained glass danced across her hair. She just turned away and scampered from the church quickly. I sighed heavily and looked up at the altar for a few seconds torn over what I was supposed to do, I

know what I want to do, but this girl made me want to do things that I wouldn't do as much as I wanted to I couldn't magically flip my personality. I watched her tiptoe out of the door. "f**k it." I growled and pushing myself out of the pews running after her ignoring the angry tuts of the old ladies around me. I yanked the door open sharply and ran down the path. "Amy" I called out her steps faltered for a second but then after a few microseconds she seemed to reach a conclusion and thankfully stopped. I ran up to her, Amy slowly turned to look at me and I realised I didn't have a clue what I was actually going to say. She stood silently watching me placidly as I struggled trying to well say anything.

"what do you want from me?" Amy asked softly breaking the silence, but she was frowning and I knew she wasn't just talking about right now. How to answer that as a teenage boy. Amy sighed and started to turn away without any conscious thought my hands shot out and grabbed her arms pulling her to me sharply but she did not resist as I pulled her to me and roughly kissed her. Amy did not respond for several seconds her body rigid clearly shocked but she didn't move away, and that was enough for me this was what I wanted from her , I couldn't say it to her but this is what I wanted I needed. I just wanted to be close to her I wanted her with me. I felt Amy's body soften in my grip her body seeming to melt into mine her curves moulding into my body . Goosebumps popping up across my skin as my hands slid up her arms noticing how cold her skin was as I slowly slipped my hands up into her hair and my heart began to race as I felt her lips move under mine. I felt her hand slipping across my chest coming to a rest over my racing heart. Amy's body was suddenly pressed hard against mine one hand gripping the front of my shirt tightly enough to almost hurt as another hand shot around to the back of my head and tangled in my hair holding me tightly as she pressed her lips hard to mine. Amy pushed on my chest pushing me back I yielded to this encouragement not having a clue where I was being directed but I continued back until my back collided with a large tree. Amy pressed her tiny body into mine and I grabbed at her holding her as tightly as she was holding me. I Felt my heart race as I Felt her breasts pressed against me, I groaned in simple ecstasy. I just needed her to continue kissing me everything was alright as long as I felt her responding to my kisses as long as her lips continued moving across mine as long as I could feel her tongue slipping into my mouth. Amy gripped my hair tightly as I broke free of out kiss moaning out loud the sense of relief I felt was immense. Amy's kiss moved to my jaw and she kissed and nibbled a path along my jaw line. I rubbed my nose into the top of her head revelling in the scent of her as her kisses moved to my neck, the kisses were slow and intimate and absolutely perfect the wolf inside me purred in pure ecstasy . Amy's hand settled onto my shoulder as the other remained tightly gripping my hair, she pulled hard extending my throat, her fingers on my shoulder tightening to the point of pain. I closed my eyes revelling in the sensations, I shouted out as an intense pain shot through me but before I could do anymore than register that I was struck by worse as Amy tore herself from my arms.

" No." She was growling "no no no." I had the impression this wasn't to me. "Amy ," I said standing there arms bare suddenly feeling pretty stupid as well as exposed and alone, as Amy stumbled back her head hung low hair falling around her face like a curtain as she stumbled back like a drunk her arms wrapped around her waist,

"I'm sorry." She whispered before she turned and flat out ran away, a crazy sort of impulse welled up in me to chase her but I was going to trust that stupid impulse again. My legs collapsed from under me as I slid down to the floor and crumpled leaning back against the tree behind me. I know this time I hadn't lost control I had wanted to f**k I had wanted to rip every shred of fabric from her body and f**k her right there regardless of it being A churchyard, but I hadn't she was kissing me so it was alright I had held onto my self control and she had been there with me I wasn't wrong there. She had been kissing me and in fact pushing it more than I had been she was with me but had turned and run and not through fear well I don't think so she hadn't seem scared , I sighed rubbing my forehead. I dragged my hands through my hair as I lifted my eyes to look up, I swung my face around looking around as if expecting to find some sort of answer around me my eyes locked on the Huge crucifix hung on the church wall,

"sorry about that ." I Muttered nodding at the large Jesus, "that girl just well, she's special if that makes it any better." I growled allowing my head to drop back down. " but I swear if I live to be a hundred I still will not understand that girl." I muttered to no one as I became aware of the scent of a tiny trickle of blood that was sliding down my neck.