Falling for the forbidden wolf

Chapter three

Tessa’s pov

The next morning, I wake up, and it’s 1 p.m. After the apocalypse last night, I couldn’t go back home so I crashed at Anna’s. I got to her place looking like a total mess, she gave me the hug I really needed, made me feel safe, dry clothes, and a cup of hot cocoa while we talked about it.

I really don’t know what I would have done without her, being friends with her made me realize that good friendships really go a long way and are definitely worth it. I needed a friend but not just any friend, I needed Anna.

The next few days passed in a blur, with persistent texts and calls from Mark, my parents, and even a few other friends. I stopped attending classes, started stress eating, and couldn’t even look at my phone. Mark really did a big one on me, a few months ago no one would have paid me to believe that this would be me; stress eating and heartbroken over the man I fell in love with. I was a complete mess

He tried reaching me through Anna but she wouldn’t let him either. She was angry at him and herself, and she started blaming herself for what happened.

“This is all my fault, Tessa, this would not have happened if I had not dragged you to that stupid party”, she said.

But there was no need to cry over spilled milk. There was no explanation or excuse for this, it just means everything between us only happened because of a stupid dare. I was not about to let him back into my life

A few weeks went by, I gained a few pounds, stopped attending classes and my mental health was in pieces, I could feel myself slipping away. Mark kept calling and sending epistles trying to explain but I couldn’t bring myself to care anymore, at this point I was too broken to listen to whatever he had to say.

I had to come to an understanding and realize that I couldn’t keep letting heartbreak define me. It was time to grow, evolve, and be the version that he never thought I had.

With the help of Anna and my parents, I was able to get my head back on track. I tried attending classes again, hit the gym, got back in shape, and most importantly;blocked Mark everywhere. Blocking him was harder than I thought, a part of me still clung to him, which I just could not understand. I hated what he did to me but a part of me still loved me and I hated that part of me . I tried so hard to snap myself back to reality but everything we shared kept replaying in my head.but I was past that now, it was time to move on . I couldn’t think about that now.

By my senior year I had convinced myself I was done with him,I had spent most of it loving and sulking over a man I had fallen in love with. My grades had deteriorated badly and I had to get my head back in the game.

I was determined to show mark I could do without him, that I could reclaim the version of myself I had lost. The girl who stayed up all night paying attention to goals and achievements, the girl whose thoughts thrived on ambitions and dreams instead of heartbreak and pain.

Every assignment,class I attended,gym session were a all steps and movements towards where I am meant to be which was definitely not this.

Joined a study group which definitely helped, created time during the day to study thoroughly,created a skincare routine. Stress eating had really gotten to my skin, which was not good at all.

Got a new wardrobe. Right now it wasn’t just about feeling good but also looking good. For the first time in a long time, i wasn’t prioritizing someone else’s feelings or emotions. This time I was prioritizing Tessa;me.

All these changes gave me back the pieces of myself I had lost in that journey. It reminded me of the true me, it made me realize I was just chasing the wrong things if I just lost myself in the process.

I was evolving , yes but still in the same place where every turn was just a reminder of our past .Every cafe,library , movie theatres and even parks was just acted as a souvenir of the journey i used to walk in. It reminded me of the girl i used to be, that girl is gone now.

Trying to heal in the same environment that broke me, it felt like running a marathon with no finish line. Like chasing sunlight in the middle of the night, that was what this felt like. This made me feel like i was dragging a heavy luggage from my past into my present

That’s when it crossed my mind, maybe what i really needed was a new place , a fresh start. I was born and raised in chicago. Every block,turn, restaurant,library, it basically felt like home;my home. It was the city that shaped my teenage years,mistakes and growth even. It was still my home but my heart just was not here anymore. Graduation was coming soon, this made it the perfect time to open a fresh chapter. The perfect time to step open a new chapter, a new era , a place where there would not be a constant reminder of my past. Maybe home was not meant to be where i was born and raised anymore but where my heart was.

The thought of starting afresh was scary as it was thrilling. Freedom was not just about certainty but also about the courage and the strength to leave certain situations. This was me setting myself free and letting go, I didn't know where or how I would get there. I knew one thing for sure, I would not be staying in Chicago after graduation.