UNBEQUEATHED LOVE

A NEW BEGINNING

"Bzzt Bzzt." The sound of my phone buzzing jolted me back to reality. It was 10:00 PM. I picked my phone from where it laid and stared into it. 'Dear Daniel Martins, you have been offered admission into Nnamdi Azikiwe University to study English Language and Literature. Kindly visit the Jamb Caps to either accept or reject the admission.' was what greeted my eyes. It was unbelievable, almost magical! I couldn't believe what I had just seen. Finally! After the long wait, and at a time when it seemed like all hope was lost, I finally got it. I finally got the chance to go to the university!

That night, I couldn't sleep. Keeping my eyes closed for ten seconds seemed impossible. I was filled with so much joy and excitement. After several months, I was just one click away from getting admitted into a university. So many thoughts filled my head at almost the same time. "What would leaving my family in Lagos feel like?" "Who would I stay with?" "How would I cope living a place I had never been before?" "How many course mates would I share a classroom with?" All these and more prevented my eyes from staying shut.

The next morning, I told my parents about it. I had earlier opted to study Law, but I didn't beat the cutoff mark. My parents were of the opinion that if I really wanted Law, I could reject the admission and try again next year. Sure, I could. But it had been over two years since I left secondary school, and thought of waiting another year while preparing to write what would have been my third JAMB exam wasn't pleasing. English Language was my favourite subject in school. Besides, I learnt from students that I could switch to Law in my second year if my GP was high.

At that point, nothing else mattered to me. I just wanted to go to the university. I wanted to meet new people, new faces. I wanted a change of environment. I wanted something new. Something different from what I had always known. All my close friends had left. They were in school as they had gotten admitted before me. I didn't want to be left behind. I didn't want to be the odd one out. I made my decision. I wouldn't risk this opportunity. I wanted in so badly. So I let my parents know and they gave me their support. As long as it was what I wanted, they were fine with my decision. So I sealed it by clicking that button, and alas, my dream came true.

After about a week, it was time to say goodbye. Goodbye to my parents. Goodbye to my siblings. Goodbye to the city of Lagos and its environs. I was gonna miss it all, but the excitement of going to a new place lessened my nostalgia.

As early as 7:00am in the morning, I began my journey to the city of Awka, Anambra.

By nightfall, I got to the city.

Everything about this place felt new... different. Of course, why wouldn't it? This was a place populated by students. It was a school environment after all. It got me thinking about things I had been told about university life; cultists and their incessant clashes leading to at best, destruction of property, and at worse, death, boys and girls falling in love, just like I had seen in movies. "Maybe a girl and I are going to have a meet cute, and maybe, I'd get a girlfriend, who knows." I chuckled as I thought to myself.

Before I got to Awka, I knew no one. And that made housing a problem. Luckily enough, one of the daughters of my mother's friend was in the same university, and she was kind enough to link me up with one of her male friends who I could stay with for the mean time, until I found a place of my own.

When I had gotten to the bus stop, I took out my phone and dialled the number of the boy who was kind enough to let me stay with him for the mean time. He was supposed to pick me up. After some minutes, he arrived, we exchanged courtesy and we arrived at his lodge. His name was Ebenezer.

He had two other room mates, and with me being added to the mix, it'd make us four in a room. Dominic being the eldest, Micheal (Dominic's younger brother), Ebenezer and me; the youngest.

The next day was a day I had been waiting for, for a long time. I was finally going to step my feet inside the surroundings of a school.

That morning, I got up as early as I could, prepared myself and began my journey to locating where the school was. I left so early that Ebenezer thought I had left for morning Mass, but nah, it was all just the excitement.

With the help of a fellow student I saw on the road, I was able to locate where the school was. What I saw was a testament to what my friends in universities had told me. You get to one of the gates of the school and you still had to get into a vehicle and get driven for several minutes before getting to your department. It was astonishing! Absolutely nothing like the secondary school I attended.

I was in the Faculty of Arts, Department of English Language and Literature. At first, I had problems locating where the first lecture was supposed to be held, but with a little help from an older student who belonged to the same department as me, I was able to find the right classroom, even if I was a little bit late.

I got in and the classroom was humongous. We were what? Three to four hundred students in there? It was the exact opposite of my secondary school back in Lagos, where we were very few in a class.

I saw many people seated in a place, all at once like I had never seen before. So many pretty faces captured my eyes and I could feel my heart beating like someone who was really nervous, because I was.

One thing about me was, I was the shy type. An introvert, if you will. I wasn't comfortable around many people as a great majority of my lifetime had been spent with just a few people. I was mostly indoors, few friends. I grew up like that and it became a part of me. Imagine being seven in a class and the next time you're in a room filled with students, you're more than two hundred and fifty. It was very uncomfortable for me. Of course, I wasn't expecting I'd sit amongst seven people, but two fifty plus? I wasn't expecting that either.

I got in a seat, besides a girl who appeared really pretty in my eyes. It was until later I got to find out her name was Stella Maris. She had such a smooth skin and beautiful face that you'd find in movies about princesses. She was really attractive, and kind too. She filled me in on the necessary details and informations I needed to survive in the school environment. She even helped me with her notebook, which I really needed because I didn't resume early.

As time went on, I began getting used to my new surroundings. Places in school were becoming familiar to me unlike my first few weeks. I didn't make close friends in class, I just had very few people I had gotten accustomed to that I could ask questions whenever an answer was needed.

I started reminiscing about my family, who were back in Lagos. This was the first time I had been away from home, all by myself, and the first time their son wasn't with them after almost two decades. We'd share phone calls, talk about our experiences... It was quite nostalgic for me.

My roommates helped made my life easier in a new place. Adapting wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, but I guess it was because they had a big role to play in it, and I was very grateful for the kind of people life sent to me at a time when I really needed it.

As the semester continued, I created time to complete my registration and complete the necessary things needed to become a bonafide student of the university. I bought the necessary books needed for the first semester examinations as it was fast approaching. I had to put in the effort to complete my notes and read up as many books as I could in what I considered a short amount of time.

I attended lectures regularly. I had heard stories of students who skipped a lot of classes and only showed up during exams. I always wondered how those kind of students passed, until I learnt that many of them paid off the lecturers. Well, I was not that kind of student. From a very young age, my parents had done well to imbibe discipline in me, and I had grown up to be that way; disciplined. Besides, apart from my parents not being too buoyant, I wasn't working, so there was no way I would get money to bribe anyone, so I had to put in the work, the effort, the sweat, if I was going to get any result I would be proud of.

In class, one day, while everyone was chattering, as there was no lecturer present, the cover of a pen flew towards me and fell to the ground. I picked it up and looked toward the direction it came from. There was a hand waving at me, as if to apologize for the what hit me. It was a girl. The girl who in the not so far future would become my girlfriend; my first.

She was dark, pretty, but I couldn't get other descriptions because she was in a seated position. She apologized as I gave the cover of the pen back to her. She smiled as she stretched out her hand to collect it, while I smiled in return.

As class for that day ended, I left the class, just like everyone else, looking for a ride to the school gate. While I was waiting for a bus, I looked to my left and saw her. The same girl I encountered in class. Now, I was able to get other descriptions of her. She was average in height, just like me, and what I noticed as she passed by me which I didn't earlier because she was in a seated position, was how amazing her rear end looked. It wasn't the biggest, neither was it small, it was protruded as the shape around her skirt was clearly visible... perfect, you could say. 'Wow!', unintentionally escaped from my lips as I took a glance at it. We waved each other goodbye as we both continued our journeys. That was it. She never crossed my mind again until about a week later.

On a Monday afternoon, the first school day of the week, the lecture we had in one of the halls had just ended. It was the last lecture of the day. While everyone was leaving in groups of twos and threes, I was sitting on one of the pavements, all alone, looking on as everyone left.

Right, there and then, I heard someone call out to me. I directed my eyes to where I heard the sound come from. It was her, again.

As I looked up, fourteen steps away from me was the girl I met about a week before, beckoning on me. I stood up slowly and went closer. I accepted her offer of a handshake as she introduced herself. Her name was Rosemary. I introduced my name too and the conversation began.

"I have been watching you for some days now, and I've noticed that you're always by yourself." She said. "Don't you have any friends?" She asked.

"I do have friends, but they're very few. I've only been admitted for about a month." I replied.

"Okay, but I don't often see you with them. Who are they if I may ask?'' She asked curiously.

I mentioned three to four names while she listened attentively.

"Okay. Are you on the class group chat?" She asked.

" Yes, I am." I answered.

" Good. What's your name on the group chat?"

" Daniel." I replied.

" Okay, I'll text you this evening. Is it okay if I text you?" She wanted to know.

" Of course." I said as I nodded my head in affirmation.

We bade each other goodbye as I left.

That evening, I awaited a text from her. Hours passed, and still, I didn't get anything looking like a new message from someone who wasn't on my contact list.

"Oh well, maybe she forgot, or she's busy." I thought to myself.

The next day, after school, while I was on my phone, I got a text from someone new. Your guess is as good as mine. It was her. It was Rosemary; the new girl I met in class. I was excited. I wasn't used to having conversations with girls, so, this one felt new.

We exchanged pleasantries, asked about each other's day and we had a good conversation. It started with her reiterating the question she asked me the first time we had a conversation and majority of what we discussed that night, dwelt on the topic of me being an introvert since she didn't see me with many people.

Ever since that day RoseMary texted me, we got closer, and I started to notice her in class. She laughed a lot. And it was loud too. I noticed she was mostly ever around three friends. They seemed really close and they bonded well.

I got so fond of RoseMary that everytime I got back from school, the first thing I did was jump on the bed, take out my phone from my pocket and hope she was online on w******p. Anytime I saw 'Online', I was always excited, as it was always fun chatting with her.

During one of our conversations, RoseMary revealed to me that she suffered from depression. I was taken aback by that revelation because 'no way this girl's depressed. In class, she's always laughing and seems happy, so how?" I asked myself. She revealed to me how she was r***d by her teacher when she was in primary school, and how another was attempted on her in secondary. She told me about the situation of her family; Rosemary's parents were separated. Yes, unlike majority of the school students, she lived with her family. She stayed with her mum, siblings and cousins, while her father stayed alone. She talked about her she missed him, and how his absence really affected her negatively. She almost always cried at night, leaving her with the thought of just ending her life, "leaving this world and finally being at peace", as she put it. I felt pity for her. I told her it was difficult to believe because of the character she always portrayed in class. Her face was always lit with laughter and smiles.

"In the morning, I'm always with my friends, so they help make the situation lighter, and sometimes, I just fake it. I don't need people asking me questions. Plus, I don't want anyone worrying about me.", she explained.

What she said that day made us bond more than ever before. Though, we never talked much in class, we did most of our talking on social media. I wanted to care for her. It was my first time being close to someone who was suffering from depression. I had always heard stories about depressed people and how suicidal they got, but I had never met one in person. I decided in my heart that I was going to be there for her. I told myself I was going to do whatever I could to lessen the burden she was carrying. I really cared for RoseMary, and I was willing to make her happy. And I did just that. We were always ending the nights with each other and beginning the day the same. Again, in class we didn't say anything more than just 'hi' and 'hello', so we talked through phone calls and texts.

One faithful day, during one of our conversations, RoseMary asked me a question I felt was long coming.

"You look so quiet and don't talk much, you seem shy, and it's making me wonder if you've ever asked a girl out before."

"I haven't." I replied.

" So you've never had a girlfriend?" She asked.

"No. I have never."

" How old are you?" She wanted to know.

"18." I replied.

"Wow! I'm surprised and... not too surprised at the same time. Surprised because it's difficult these days to find boys who aren't cheating on their partners, and then there's you, who has never had one. Not too surprised because you don't look like the type that can ask a girl out. Why have you never, tho?" She continued. " Are you afraid of talking to girls?"

"I might appear shy, and I am really, because growing up, I was always stuck inside. I didn't go to a highly populated school. As a matter of fact, throughout the time I spent in senior secondary school, I was only ever in the class with just two girls. So, relating with the female gender wasn't something I was used to, at all. So it contributed to me not getting a girlfriend. Plus, I wouldn't have the time, and in a relationship, the guy's got to spend, and I don't have money for that." I explained at length. I explained at length.

"So you mean to tell me you've never kissed a girl?" She asked, with a surprised emoji.

" Yup, I've never. How about you? Have you ever kissed a boy? I asked her.

"Countless of times. I've had many boyfriends over the last three years, and it's not something I'm proud of. I was young... gullible. They took advantage of me. Perhaps, if I refused their advances, I wouldn't be as messed up as I am right now." She said, regretfully.

" My battery is low now, I have to go offline. I'll see you tomorrow." She said.

" Alright. Enjoy the rest of your day, and try not to think too much about it, okay?"

" (Laughing emoji) Thanks, I'll try." She replied.

I went offline, thinking about what she just tole me, and looking forward to continuing the discussion.

One Saturday, I was going through posts on f*******: when I got a notification which read, 'Hello'. It was Rosemary. Immediately, with excitement in my eyes, I went straight to w******p and replied her text. After we exchanged pleasantries, and asked regular questions, we continued from where we stopped the day before.

'Daniel, this period of time I've known you has been great. And I think I've got feelings for you. I want us to date.' RoseMary said.

I wasn't surprised. I had a feeling it would come to this and it indeed came. Although I had feelings for her too, I didn't feel ready to go into a relationship with anyone.

'RoseMary, I share these same feelings you do, but I'm not ready to be in any relationship.'

'Why not, Daniel?'

'I told you before, I'm not working, and I don't have money to give, and ontop of that, I won't be able to give you the time and attention you need.' I told her.

'I don't need your money, Daniel. And for your time and attention, the time we spend talking is enough, I don't need anything more.'

' I'm sorry, RoseMary, I really can't.' I said apologetically.

' It's fine, I'll get over it.'

I was so sorry that I didn't agree to date her. I knew it'd make her really happy but I just couldn't, and I knew my refusal would hurt because it seemed like she really wanted it.

For the next couple of days, we didn't talk and I was worried. She wasn't online, her number

wasn't going through, and that was really unusual. 'How was she doing?' 'Was she fine?' 'Hope she's okay.'

I tried her number again one evening and was relieved when someone picked up the call. It was RoseMary. Her voice sounded weak.

'What happened? You weren't online, and I tried calling several times, but your number wasn't going through.'

'Yeah, about that. I've been sick for some days now. I started feeling feverish, told my mum about it and she took me to the hospital. The doctor said I had come down with malaria. I've been in the hospital ever since, and without my phone, that's why I haven't been online, and didn't pick your calls. I'm sorry about that.

'It's fine, I understand. Being ill doesn't let you do many things.' I said. 'How do you feel now?'

'Better, I'd say. Infact, I'm going to be back to school on Monday.' She said with a yawn.

'Wow! That's really nice to hear. You know I've missed you.' I confessed to her.

'Mm-hm, you sure about that?' She asked quizzingly.

'Sure, do you doubt me?' I asked.

'Uh... I don't know, Daniel. I have to go now. Thanks for calling. It really means a lot.' She said, about to hang up the call.

'Yeah, sure.' I replied.

'Till Monday, then.'

'Till Monday'.

Monday came, it was another day of long hours of lectures and the sun wasn't helping the situation, at all. We were over a hundred and fifty in class. Most times, we weren't up to that, except for whenever there was a quiz. The fans there weren't all working, so those who came early enough, took advantage by sitting close to were the few working fans where.

Well, for some reason, class today was filled up and it didn't take a genius to figure out why. There was a quiz that was supposed to hold, and no one wanted to miss it for obvious reasons.

I looked as far and wide as my eyes could take me but I couldn't locate Rosemary. 'Could it be she didn't show like she said she would, or I just couldn't see her since there were just too many students seated in class?' I would just have to wait and see.

Lectures ended by three, but as I predicted, the numbers started becoming few because the quiz had come and gone.

I was preparing to leave for my lodge, I got a tap on my shoulders from behind. It was Rosemary. She looked okay.

'How did the quiz go?' I asked her.

'Uhmm... not bad. I read very little. How about you?' She asked in return.

'It went well. I knew the answers to all the questions.' I replied her.

'Hmm, Williams Shakespeare's son!' She exclaimed with a smile on her face.

Anytime anything was said about books, she referred to me as that, because to her, I was very serious with attending lectures, which was something seen in very few people.

'Can we talk for a moment, before you leave?' She asked.

'Yeah, I don't see a reason why not.' I answered.

'Why don't you want us to date?'

I stared, puzzled. I had thought we were over this, but it seemed like we weren't far from over.

'I told you before, money... time... attention?'

'I told you I didn't need your money, didn't I? And for your attention, it would be the same as the one you've been showing me since we've known each other, nothing different.'

'Ar... yeah, but...' I tried to reply, not really knowing what to say.

'Shhh. Don't say anything. How about this. We date for two days. We do this for two days and if you like it, you could decide if you want to continue, but if you feel like it isn't something you want, I'll drop it.'

I wasn't sure why I didn't want to date her. Maybe it was because I hadn't tried it before and I was afraid to commit to anyone, but her idea was brilliant. I didn't need to do it for too long. Just two days and I would reach a conclusion. Plus, we had known each other for some time now and I didn't think it would be so bad.

'Think about it, will you? Don't give me an answer straight away. You could give me an answer at dusk.' She concluded.

We left the class and went our separate ways.

'At precisely 7:43pm that same evening, I got a text on w******p from Rosemary.'

'Hey.' She texted.

'Hello.' I texted back.

After discussing about some issues for some minutes, she asked me the same question she had asked earlier in school.

'So, Daniel, about what we discussed in school...'

'Oh, that. Well, I've given it enough thought like you said and I think it's a good idea. We'll date for two days and if I like it, I guess we'll continue.' I told her.

'Yes!' She exclaimed, excitedly. 'Now, do the thing.' She said.

I was a bit confused, as I didn't understand what she was talking about.

'Huh? Do what thing?' I asked, perplexed.

'Ask me out.' She replied.

'Uh... But aren't we already a thing now?' I asked, curiously.

'Of course, we are, but I want it to be official, so now, ask me out.'

I had never done that before, and I didn't think it necessary since we had both agreed to it, but since she wanted me to say the words, I decided I would do it. I mean, what harm could a few words cause, right?

'RoseMary, would you b...' I had already started typing, but then, I didn't want to use the regular lines used these days. I wanted something unconventional. I wanted something different, so I deleted what I had already begun typing, and started with something else.

'RoseMary, do you accept to go on this little adventure with me, just the both of us?'

'Yes! I do, Daniel!' She exclaimed. 'That was really sweet of you, and different. I definitely wasn't expecting a line like that, but I'm happy you said it. I felt really special after I read that.' She expressed her excitement.

'Well, you are special to me, and someone special needs special things.'

'Aww. That's really sweet of you, Daniel, I really love the way you treat me with your words, and I can't wait to see you in class, tomorrow.' She said.

'Well, tomorrow's just around the corner.'

'Yeah, it's so near but at the same time, it's so far.'

'Lol. Tell you what. Just go to bed, close your eyes and before you know it, tomorrow's here.'

'I know right? Alright. I'll do as you say. See you in school baby.'

'Oh, so we're doing this now.' I thought to myself.

We bade each other goodbye, with both of us looking forward to the next day.

The next day, on my way to class, I saw Rosemary. She was right outside the hall we were supposed to make use of for our first lecture. We greeted each other and when I looked inside, the class was full. It was a joint class. English Education students were offering the same course we were that morning, so that explained why we were so many. All the seats were filled, and many had to squeeze in with other students, so that they could have somewhere to seat. It also explained why RoseMary was outside with some others, since there weren't any chairs left to seat on.

She was with her phone, playing a game of some sort. She signaled to me to come closer, and when I understood what she said, I felt a little bit uneasy. I was the kind of person that hated publicity. I loved a low-key kind of life, and Rosemary with that signal, if I understood her correctly, wanted me by her side. Well, I could be wrong. Maybe she just wanted to tell me something.

I walked towards her and when I got to where she was, she took my arm, and locked it with hers, still holding her phone. I started feeling so uneasy, and in my head, I was searching for a way to escape the hold that she'd got me in.

Luckily for me, I was with my bag, and I found the perfect excuse.

'RoseMary, can you excuse me? I want to take something out of my bag.'

She didn't want to let go easily and I think somehow, she knew the reason I wanted 'to take something out of my bag' was because I was uncomfortable with our arms locked with each other.

I didn't want to tell her straight up, so as not to get her in a not so good mood, so I had to use the bag excuse, even if I knew she'd find out. For me, it was way way better than telling her directly.

After I was successful, we both went into the class and stood behind, since all seats were taken. RoseMary was still holding her phone, and I was really close to her like before, but this time around, she didn't ask for my arm, she took the liberty of placing her head on my shoulders. This was new for me. It was so different from my relationships with girls. It wasn't this close, and it made me feel on edge. While her head was still on my shoulders, as I didn't have an excuse this time to make use of, some of my course mates (girls) who were