The Lonely Girl

Chapter 14 - Revenge

Sahara

Sitting on the balcony with Santi was actually really comfortable. There were no awkward silences and I really enjoyed his company. There’s been so many new experiences for me the last week or so. Finally getting coffee with Alana which led to this relationship of sorts with Santi. I felt like I could let my guard down a bit. They’ve given me no reason not too. “I’ll introduce you to some more people tomorrow, those who you’ll see around a fair bit” Santi said. “People are a bit different here, maybe because we’re isolated and not everyone goes to the city “. “Different how?” I asked, had I walked into some kind of cult. “People are very open about their feelings especially if they’re ma…, in a relationship”. “Also People very openly talk about there s*x lives”. We’ll it’s not anything I haven’t heard before I thought. I worked in a free clinic, I’ve heard just about everything. “Don’t be surprised if your asked some very personal questions, try to ignore them” he said. “It’s not like I’d have anything to contribute anyway” I said. “So are you saying you’ve never had s*x before “ Santi said with interest. “No, I’m not saying that” I replied. My experiences are not ones that I’d want people to know about “ I replied. “Have you had a bad relationship?” Santi asked through gritted teeth. “Something like that” I replied. We sat in silence for a while, “what about you” I asked, “any significant relationships?” I was curious to know if he had someone important in his life, I wouldn’t say that I was jealous but I was hoping that he didn’t. “No one really important “ he replied. “ a couple of casual relationships but nothing serious, I’ve never wanted to get too close to anyone until I found my ma.., soul mate”. That was actually really sweet, I’m sure people do find that one person that will love them despite everything. I just didn’t see it in my future. I’d accepted the fact that I’d probably be alone and I was ok with it. “Well I hope she’s everything your looking for” I said. “I have no doubt that she is” Santi replied with a smile . “Sahara, I don’t mean to pry but how did you get those scars on your body”. I was a bit taken aback, people generally didn’t notice them under my tattoos. “One of my foster homes was quite abusive” I replied. “He cut me with a knife a few times, I’m not even sure why. As soon as I was old enough I got tattoos to cover most of them. I wanted to reclaim my body if that makes sense”. Santi was quiet, I was worried I had told him too much. I didn’t see myself as a victim, I desperately wanted that time of my life behind me but it was a huge part of my life that shaped who I am now. I looked over at him and noticed that his eyes were black and he looked angry. I didn’t think he had black eyes usually, maybe it was lights. Next thing he got up really quickly and kneeled in-front of me, I felt those tingles again. “I’m so sorry no one protected you, you’re so strong “ he said passionately. “I’ll never let anyone hurt you again “ he stated looking into my eyes. “Why do you care so much about me, we’ve only known each other for a short time. You’ve done more for me than anyone has in my whole life” I stated. “You are the most amazing person I have ever met, the moment I saw you walk in the bar I wanted to part of your life” Santi replied still holding my hands. How do I answer that, I’ve got this incredibly hot, nice guy who wants to be a part of my life. It seems too good to be true, I’m still waiting for something to show me otherwise. Maybe he is genuine, I’ve worked with Alana for a while and even though I’ve just gotten to know her better, she been nothing but positive and nice. So if she thinks highly of Santi then maybe he is the real deal. “I’ve never really been close to anyone before, you’re growing on me though “ I tried to joke. “I want to earn your trust” he said, “ is there anything else I need to know so I don’t accidentally make you uncomfortable. What about this bad relationship you we’re talking about, did he do something to you?” Santi asked. “Once I tell you this it may change the way you think about me, are you sure you want to know?” Santi took a deep breath, “ Yes please tell me”. “Ok, it wasn’t a bad ex it was my last foster placement. So when I said I’d had s*x before it wasn’t done with my consent so when I actually decide to have s*x I’ll consider it my first time”. Santi stood up quickly and gripped the railing, his knuckles had turned white. “It’s ok, it was like 7 years ago, I don’t let it affect my life”. “7 years ago! You would’ve been 15yrs old” Santi exclaimed. “14yrs actually, I ran away after a couple of months of it and I’ve been on my own ever since “. He came and kneeled before me again, it looked like tears in his eyes. “I’m ok” I said, “It’s in the past, I’m happy with how my life turned out”. “I can’t accept that” replied Santi.

Santi

I can’t believe what I’m hearing, I’m torn between going on a murderous rampage and crying for the pain my mate went through. My wolf is going crazy, putting images in my head of all the ways we can kill him. I can’t accept that this foster parent has not been dealt with. “What do you mean you can’t accept this” Sahara said. “I want him to pay” I said, “Tell me his name, I can make him pay”. “His name

is Evan, it’s not necessary Santi, I can’t go down that path. I’ve had to put one foot in front of the other for 7 years now. I’ve had to get past this to survive. It’s why I don’t make connections with people, I’m sick of being rejected. That’s why I plan to live by myself away from everyone. I think it’s what I need for my sanity “. “You’ve taken me by surprise though, you’re the first person I’ve ever spoke about my past to. I think I trust you”. Hearing that made my heart sing. I made a vow to find this Evan and make him pay. Sahara didn’t have to know, she didn’t say not to just that she didn’t want to do it.

So I’ve found the perfect girl who’s been abused so badly that she doesn’t get close to anyone. I can tell she’s starting to feel the bond. Hopefully one day we can have a proper relationship, I’ll have to take it even more slow now. “Where did you go after you ran away?” I asked. I had done my research but didn’t find much. I needed to know everything. “I caught a bus across town, right to other side of New York, changed my name and started a new life. I had to be careful that child services wouldn’t find me. They would either send me to another home or back with Evan as they didn’t believe me when I rang my case worker and reported the a***e. The first few nights I stayed in a park. After that I found a storage shed that looked abandoned at the back of the school I’d enrolled in. It had a bathroom and I was able to set up a pretty good spot there. I actually stayed there until I graduated. I suspect the school maintenance guy knew I was there but he left me alone”. I stated at Sahara in disbelief, she was truly a survivor. “You said you changed your name, why Sahara?” I questioned. “From the desert, the Sahara desert always interested me as it seemed like a place I could disappear, so the name appealed to me”. “What was your original name?” I asked, Sahara really suited her, I couldn’t imagine her being called anything else. “I’ll tell you” she said “but I don’t identify with it, I associate that name with rejection, I mean my parents abandoned me at birth with a note stating that that was my name. I want nothing to do with it.” She sat in silence for a little while. “My birth name was Hope”. Hope I thought, interesting, I wonder if her parents had hope that she’d have a good life. “You’ll always be Sahara to me” I stated. She stood up and lent against the railing, the sun was starting to set. She looked so beautiful, I stood there staring. I took a chance and put my arms around her from behind, to my surprise she didn’t pull away but lent back into my chest. I swear I heard her sigh with relief. We stood together, me holding her from behind watching the sun set. I would remember this moment for the rest of my life.