Chapter 12: Nox's POV
1484 Words
The fire crackles low in the hearth, the amber glow barely touching the shadows that crowd the corners of my office.
I’m on my third sleepless night—though I’ve stopped counting. The whiskey in my glass has long since gone warm, untouched in my hand.
“You’re falling apart and it’s your own damn fault.”
Cyan’s voice slices through my thoughts, harsh and cold.
“Not now,” I grit out silently.
But he doesn’t let up.
“You rejected her.” His snarl echoes louder, claws scraping against the inside of my skull. “You let fear make you a coward.”
My jaw tightens. I close my eyes, but that only makes it worse.
I drag a hand down my face and stare into the flames. I hate that he's right. Hate that I can still smell her in the halls. Hate that her laughter echoes in my head like a curse.
Hate that the moment I finally made my choice—it broke something vital inside me.
A knock disturbs the silence. Before I can answer, the door creaks open and Zara steps inside.
She’s wrapped in a deep red silk nightdress that leaves very little to the imagination.
Her dark curls cascade over one shoulder, and her lips are painted with that shade of wine she knows I like.
Elegant. Sultry. She was born to be on a throne, and I gave her one. I chose her.
“Can’t sleep again?” she asks, voice smooth as velvet as she crosses the room.
I don’t answer. I just watch her as she glides closer and slips onto my lap, straddling me with a slow, practiced grace.
“I came to tempt you,” she murmurs, brushing her lips over mine. “Let me take your mind off... everything.”
She kisses me, and for a moment, I let her. Her fingers trail down my chest, slipping under the hem of my shirt.
I close my eyes, willing my body to respond. I should want this. I should want her.
I run my hands through her hair, down to her waist, trying desperately to stir something in me for her.
But nothing.
No part of my body responds to her touch, not even the weakest part that should respond to the slightest temptation.
Because all I see is Tamsin.
The softness of her smile, the innocence in her eyes, the way she tilted her head up back in my office when she thought I was going to kiss her...I was going to kiss her but I knew if I did, I'd mark her before I could stop myself.
And that curse? I didn't want to do something that I'd regret.
Her scent fills my nose—strawberries and dish soap. Her laugh curls into my ears like music.
I break the kiss with a sharp breath.
Zara leans back just enough to study me, her eyes narrowing. “You’re thinking about her again.”
“I’m not,” I lie.
Her fingers freeze against my stomach. “Don’t insult me, Nox.”
"I said, I'm not thinking about her."
She looks at me like she can see through me clearly. "Why did you go on to confront her earlier today?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Oh for goddess sake! I know she hit you. The Omegas told me she did. You were talking to her, why?"
The rate at which gossips fly around this house is astounding. But what can I say? It's not everyday the Alpha gets hit by an omega, and the omega walks free.
“I don’t want to talk about Tamsin.”
“Well, tough,” she snaps, a sudden edge to her voice. “If you can think about her, you can damn well talk about her.”
“I said no.”
“You chose me, Nox.” She slides off my lap, standing tall. “You made a choice. So stop looking at me like I’m second best.”
I exhale through my nose, trying to steady the storm building behind my ribs.
“I made my choice,” I say quietly. “I chose you.”
“And yet here we are,” she hisses, stepping closer. “You chose me over some little Omega you barely knew—and you still can’t let her go?”
“She’s not just—” I stop myself.
Not just an Omega.
She’s my mate.
The one the Moon Goddess chose for me.
And I rejected her before I even looked her in the eye. Because of fear. Because my mother whispered stories of Alpha bloodlines cursed when bound to weak mates.
Because I thought tradition mattered more than fate.
“Not just what?”
"Listen, my love, I–"
She cuts me off with a hand in the air. “I won’t share you with a ghost. I’m your Luna now. And she’s just a servant who can’t accept her place.”
I swallow the retort that rises to my tongue. I did choose Zara. Publicly. Loudly.
And I forced Tamsin to pretend like she was fine, like she didn’t still ache with every breath.
I sigh. To be frank, I don't want to argue with her. She's going to find a way to twist words and I'm having too bad a headache to counter any of her jabs.
So, I'll be a man and suck this up. I owe her that at least.
“I’m sorry,” I murmur, standing. I wrap my arms around her and press a kiss to her hair. “You’re right. I’ve just been... scattered.”
Her tension eases slightly beneath my touch. “Come to bed,” she says, her voice soft again. “You’ll feel better.”
“I will. Just give me a few minutes to finish this.” I gesture vaguely to the desk.
She nods and brushes a kiss against my jaw before turning and gliding out of the room. The door clicks shut behind her.
I stay frozen for a moment, breathing her scent, trying to collect myself—but all I feel is hollow.
“You’re a coward,” Cyan sneers. “You had your fated mate in your arms and you let politics, fear, and pride ruin it.”
I clench my fists and leave the office.
The hall is quiet, moonlight pooling through the windows. I know where I’m going before I let myself think about it.
My feet carry me to Lior’s wing. I tell myself I just want to talk to him, to understand why he’s spending so much time with her.
He’s my Beta. My best friend. And she was mine. Once.
Before I can knock, I stop dead in my tracks at the sound coming from Lior's room. The door is slightly open, though I can't see anything through the crack.
But I hear it. Her voice. Soft and light.
“Are you sure this isn’t just an excuse to make me do your boring paperwork?”
Lior laughs—deep and easy. “Hey, I’m serious. You’d make an excellent assistant. Organized, patient, adorable handwriting—what more could I want?”
My chest tightens. I step closer, pressing my back to the wall beside the door.
“Flattery won’t make me stay late, Mister,” she teases.
“I’ll pay you in chocolate. Maybe some of those cinnamon things you like?”
“Bribery now?”
“Bribery makes great nations now, I heard.”
They laugh together, the kind of warm laughter that burrows into your ribs and stays there.
This moment is supposed to be my moment.
The pain hits like a blade to the chest. I clutch the fabric of my shirt, breath caught in my throat.
I can’t listen anymore. I can’t watch her slip through my fingers, especially not to Lior.
Not when he knows exactly what she means to me—even though I turned her down and chose his sister instead.
I turn away from the door.
I don’t go to Zara. I can’t face her—not when my heart’s bleeding all over the floor of her brother's room.
I go back to my office. Back to the fire. Back to the silence and the guilt.
I sit in the same chair and stare at the same flames.
I let it take over my spirit. I let it burn me. I hear cyan's cackle deep in my head. It's a laugh of, "You got what you asked for."
I did get what I asked for. I wanted Zara. Why am I f*****g seething over Tamsin?
It's better if she moves on right?
Or is it the fact that she's getting closer to Lior?
All these questions and I can't answer a single one. Instead, I just sit.
I sit, and I burn.
- Writer
