Prisoner Of The Dark

Pain Of The Past

Mamma, truly was a beautiful woman, with the most beautiful hazelnut skin with stunning chocolate coloured eyes to match, her hair was always smooth and shiny and fell down in soft curls to around an inch below her shoulders in the colour of midnight black. She was indeed a petite woman and if it wasn't for her being sold at sixteen she would have many a man ogle over her. Despite being loved dearly by my grandparents, my Grandmother grew fatally ill and her hospital fees were drowning the family in pressure as her Father was but a farmer and her Mother a maid, they barely had enough food to feed themselves and my mother between them, so grandmother hugged Mamma for the last time and grandfather took Mamma to the slave market and stood by her waiting, waiting to find a kindhearted master for mother, he would be even more furious with himself if she came to any harm after being sold, so there he stood holding Mamma's shaking hand, until my father came along and introduced himself as Julian Stone, My grandfather then followed and said his name was Ernest Davies and presented my mother, Liliana Davies. My Father seemed to be a kind, gentle and moreover generous man, as he offered an excess sum of money because he was "taken aback" by how sweet, innocent and lovely Mamma was as well as promising my grandfather he could make monthly visits as he lived quite closely, and my grandfather truly thought he had struck the jackpot, but oh was he wrong. 

In case you are wondering what happened to my grandmother, Rose Davies, she sadly passed away three years later, after her long battle with the illness,  Mamma was eight months pregnant with me. Grandfather, suffocating in the grief that was already far too deep from losing my Mamma, took his life a month later. Only 12 hours before I was born, he didn't even wanna stick around to meet me, mother found out about grandfather's death a few days later, and unfortunately for her and myself, Father found out too. He was already livid with mother for giving birth to me, he was angry because i was black ,just like Mamma, unlike himself and with grandfathers watchful eye gone he could do whatever he wanted to Mamma without consequence. He already used my mother as a toy, which my pure, innocent and naive mother thought was true love, she began to realise that Father did not feel as much for her as she thought due to the fact that when I was born she lost all her say in the family as "punishment."  He also started to abuse her, he lay a hand on my precious Mamma and called her names, while she wept, still damaged from the grief of losing my grandfather and grandmother, Mamma loved me still, I was a mini her,  Lily, however, despised me, although she was just a toddler, because father told her that i was the reason Mamma deserved the abuse. Twisted right? 

Mamma still loved him dearly, even though he hurt her, and refused to leave, I mean how could she? she was an orphaned slave with two children, our Father gave her and us food and a roof over our head, so she looked past the abuse. When Melody was born, father loved her dearly, she had pale skin, like father and was indeed very beautiful, which lily was jealous of, but Lily loved her dearly, loved her with love she was never able to give to me, and it hurt, a lot. But I loved Melody too, as she grew she demonstrated mothers sweet personality, and despite being taught fathers lies, loved me in ways a sister always should. 

Melody was by far the prettiest, she had mothers curly hair that fell in beautiful pale blonde locks and somehow had fathers sparkling ocean blue eyes, she had mothers eye shape and mothers button nose and fathers coral red lips, she was conventionally beautiful and received compliments wherever we went meanwhile i received scowls, ever since Father sold Mamma to everyone else I just looked like a very young family slave, It felt like I was too. Melody also had Mamma's petite structure and had the same sweet and innocent personality, she could wrap Father around her pinkie finger with just one bat of her long, graceful eyelashes, she never took advantage of this though, because as much as she was beautiful she was kind and generous. Her long blonde locks dancing against her snowy white skin. She could easily be a model or some sort of celebrity. 

Lily, however was plain, her hair remained as straight as a poker no matter how hard she tried to curl it like Melody's and was a dark mousy blonde colour, Which stuck awkwardly to her burly shoulders, unlike Melody she had more of Fathers structure and unfortunately developed Fathers pointy nose. However,  her tanned skin and mothers chocolate eyes that she had inherited were still an attractive quality. I was always the ugly one in the family, as father always said, yet Melody always told me I look just like Mamma, even though Melody barely remembers her, I mean it has now been seven years since we last saw her and Melody was only four at the time. 

I always knew Father was going to sell me. How? It's because he has always told me he would, he fed me scraps to maintain my warmth so that I came across as one of the stronger slaves so that he would make more money off of me. When Mamma was sold she was sold directly, which is confusing because slaves aren't meant to get that kind of luxury, i think she was for sale by her father and not the way I'm going to be, for me its the auctions. Meaning I had no idea what kind of master I was going to receive.

Father had to ensure that he would get as much money from selling me as possible, but ensure he would only have to spend very little to get me up to the standards of possible customers. So he fed me the leftovers from mealtimes of which he spent with my sisters. I was forced to sit next to the table, rather like a dog and was commanded to stare while they were eating, as my "punishment" it was humiliating, but I would still get food from him and Melody often would slip extra food down to me which i was incredibly grateful for.

My favourite time of year was Christmas time, as I needed warmth to protect me to prevent myself from getting ill i was allowed at the table (once everyone had gotten down) and allowed to eat all the scraps I pleased and there was always a fair amount along with some of the dessert i had baked for the family (mamma left me her cookbooks) I also got this delight of a meal due to the fact my chores list grew around that time, it was up to me to dig up the snow and chop down a Christmas tree for my sisters presents to be stored underneath. 

I remember my last Christmas quite well as it was only a couple of months ago, Father arranged a countdown, counting down until the day I would be sold off to become a slave to some stranger, my birthday.

When Mamma was sold, her countdown was so sad, but at least she got to spend time with us all. She was there for my sixth birthday too, she gave me her cookbooks and a few nice pretty necklaces of hers a few she made and one that Dad bought to give to mamma on her birthday (grandfather was coming round so he needed to put on an act) I'd never seen how she got it because, of course, I wasn't born at the time Grandfather was still around but I know she wore it almost every day so it meant a lot  that she had given it to me, she baked a cake just for me and took me out for the day, it's clear she knew that Father would move onto abusing me when she was gone. The night before I was to be sent off, I was given a full meal, no scraps and slept in Melody's bed with her because she refused to sleep without me that night, she wanted to spend as much time with me as possible before i had to go, i was to wear one of lily's dresses and some of mamma's makeup as well as a little bit of perfume the next morning, as well as having eaten a full breakfast, i felt like i was in heaven despite the overwhelming feeling of leaving melody behind, would Lily become her favourite sister? would she forget me? would she finally believe father's lies?

then before i knew it, it was time to go.