Fake It Till You Break It

Chapter 3-1

3

The next afternoon, Kristen was trying to convince herself she made the right decision giving up men when Maria and Becky walked in the door. She gave them hugs and directed them to the end of the bar where she could talk to them a little extra and slip them a few more drinks than normal without anyone realizing it.

“This place is gorgeous,” Maria said, eyeing Leo at the other end of the bar. “Beautiful scenery.”

Kristen snorted. “He’s my cousin.”

Maria grinned at her. “So you can introduce me?”

Becky groaned. “Please, don’t. I’m sharing a room with her, and her goal to sleep with a guy on every lake is getting really old.”

“How many lakes have you visited?”

“This is our fourth. We’re hitting all eleven of them,” Maria said, still watching Leo.

“And how many men has she slept with?” Kristen asked Becky.

“Nine,” Becky said, trying to hide her grin.

Kristen nodded appreciatively. “I think I need to live vicariously through you.”

Maria shook her head, finally tearing her forest green eyes from Leo. “You didn’t look like you were having any man trouble yesterday with Zane. I figured you two hooked up.”

Kristen shook her head and poured them a tiny glass of merlot. “This is my favorite wine. Good, full body, lots of oakiness in the wine, but hints of blackberry and cherry at the end. I’m just going to give you guys a taste of everything.”

They swirled their glasses like they’d done more than a few wine tastings, then chugged the wine, blowing that theory out of the water.

“Nice. But you didn’t answer my question,” Maria said.

She didn’t miss anything.

Kristen pulled out another bottle. “Nothing happened with Zane. I’m taking a break from men for a while. Working on myself.”

Maria shook her head. “Life’s too short to take a break from anything. I spent eighteen months in chemo thinking I wouldn’t see the day I was done. I had to avoid alcohol, had no interest in s*x, my boyfriend of two years said he didn’t sign on for cancer, and I was sicker than I’d ever been in my life. I’ll never have kids, which sucks, but I can always adopt. I’ve lost so much in the last year that I barely recognize who I am anymore, but I’m still here. I’m still kicking and enjoying life. What could possibly be so bad that you’re giving up?”

Kristen shook her head. “I’m not giving up, just taking a break.” She sighed. “My ex is getting married.”

Maria looked at her, waiting for the rest. The rest that wasn’t there. “That’s it?”

Kristen laughed. “Do I really need more than that? I thought I was going to marry him. He was my first and I always thought he’d be my last. It really threw me when I found out he was marrying someone else. I mean, it’s only been nine months since we broke up, and he already got engaged to someone else? Who does that?”

Kristen stared at Maria and Becky, waiting for an answer. They were shocked by her outburst, which she answered by pouring herself a glass of wine to take the edge off her crazy.

“Why didn’t he ever propose to you? How did you two get your signals crossed?”

Kristen avoided eye contact as she said, “He did propose. I said no.”

Maria snickered softly, then gradually got louder until she was belly laughing and holding on to the bar for support.

Kristen tried to find the humor in the situation, but she couldn’t.

“Let me get this straight. The guy you want to marry is marrying someone else because you said no when he asked you to marry him?”

Kristen shrugged.

“You’re right, Kristen. You do need a break.”

Kristen rolled her eyes at Maria and poured another drink.

Becky stepped forward and chastised her sister. “You don’t know what she’s been through. It’s not fair that you’re judging her like this.”

But Maria didn’t feel the same. “I almost died. I fought to stay alive. I had more days where I wanted to stay in bed and give up than I ever admitted to you. I thought about quitting chemo so many times that I almost did. I almost just stopped fighting. But I didn’t. I dragged my a*s, sick as hell, out of bed and to that clinic, so I could get the poisons injected into my body that would make me sick all over again. I hated it. It was painful and horrible, but I did it because nothing was going to keep me from living my life.” She turned to Kristen. “I’m sorry. I know it’s different when you haven’t been in my shoes. I get it. I was the same as you. But now? Well, now I know how short life is. And I know that if I want something, no one else is going to go out there and get it for me. So if this ex of yours is the right guy for you, go get him before he gets married. If he’s not, then live out the fantasies of every woman on this lake and jump on Zane like a trampoline.”

Kristen held her laughter in for about two-point-three seconds before she burst with Maria and Becky. The three of them laughed so hard that Leo gave Kristen a few looks to make sure she was okay.

When she could finally breathe again, Kristen had to admit Maria made a good point. Life was too short. Which meant she needed to stop trying to be someone she wasn’t. She had to let go of Phillip once and for all.

She just needed to figure out how.