Miracle of the Moon Goddess

13: Into the mind of things

“We have to get you ready, Celeste. Prince Terra has announced he will come here to eat lunch with you.” Mother Safira speaks to me from the doorway to alert us of her presence. “I’m sorry for not giving you enough time for your lesson with Mother Brown.”

Mother Safira closes the door behind her and finds a towel for me, ready to help me dry myself and dress. I get up from the warm water as Mother Brown cleans the pool after my bath. She has done this ritual many times before, but it still feels wrong to be pampered in luxury. In my head is my mom’s voice as she tells me I shouldn’t abuse their help, even if I’m used to it. That voice might be part of why I see how skewed our lives are. Still, I’m not freer than my slaves.

Ushered into my wardrobe, Mother Safira helps me put on a blue dress, reminding me of the sea. I have only seen the sea in one world, and it was mesmerizing. Mother Safira once told me it was her species’ homeworld, but she never revealed what species that is. Since I’m braver today, I ask her about what I suspect.

“Are you a mermaid?” I ask as I sit so she can do my hair. I look at her through the mirror framed by some rare wood. The frame has glowing gemstones set in, making me light up, and each of my blemishes shows in the mirror. My curly hair is wild after the bath, and getting ready for lunch might take time.

“No, I’m not a mermaid.” Mother Safira gives me a faint smile as she answers my question. Her coppery skin reddens in the cheeks like she is embarrassed. “But close, I’m a selkie.” When she finds questions in my eyes, her smile deepens. “Mermaids have fishtails and don’t shift to humans. When you hear legends about mermaids shifting to humans, it’s most often a selkie.”

“Oh, can you turn into a fish?” I ask, loving the idea.

“No, but to a creature not very unlike a fish, except it doesn’t have gills. It holds its breath for a long time when underwater. I can shift into a seal if I’m in salt water.” Now, her voice is proud, and I love her more for it.

“Most of my people became enslaved by the elves hundreds of years ago. They use us to cultivate fish and pearl farms. I’m lucky to be here, where the work is easy, but I miss the sea.” Her previously proud face gives in to her grief, creating a deeper connection between us. She longs for the sea the same way I long for the moon. We are the same in our differences.

“Thank you for sharing this with me, Mother Safira. Mom thought it rude to ask these things, but….” I don’t know how to continue.

How can I tell her I want to learn more about the people who have put their hope in me, to understand why they picked me out of all the choices out there, and that I need to learn more about the world so I can find out if there is any truth to this prophecy?

“You need to understand what is at stake for all of us,” she agrees before I have the time to say it myself. “I don’t mind, and I wish I could teach you everything, but for now, we must settle for one important thing.” She puts the hairbrush down, swings me around, and kneels before me.

“We, the acolytes of the gods, have our own magic,” she starts, and before I can ask who the acolytes are, she continues. “This magic is not as flashy as the magic the elves learn. Still, it’s what we need to survive and tell the story of our gods,” she explains.

My head is already ready to explode from all the new information Mother Brown has given me in the last hour or so. There is too much to learn! I take a big breath to accept that the turmoil in my blood can wait for when I have a quiet time for myself. Now, I have to bite my tongue and learn what I can.

“One thing we can do is hide our minds from the elves,” Mother Safira reveals to me.

There is no need to tell me why this is so useful. I’ve seen father randomly select slaves for memory wipes or just interrogations using mind magic. Further, father has ensured I learned the basics. No, not father if everything Mother Brown has told me is true; I should call him Terra.

The man who I once thought as my father prepared me well. My gut coils as I realize something. Even if Terra didn’t plan for it, he knew I might end up as a significant wife or concubine. It’s expected of us to keep our slaves in check and search for their memories from time to time. Still, remembering the lessons, he was reluctant to teach me this thing. Was it because he wasn’t sure I needed it, or did he sense my disapproval of the practice?

“Do we have time for it now?” I ask Mother Safira, looking into her sparkling blue eyes.

“You cannot face Prince Terra without learning this. He has become suspicious and lately he has interrogated us more. I think he has seen the signs of your coming journey, too.”

Mother Safira’s voice is calm, like always, but it doesn’t hide their hidden meaning: life is already at stake. I’ve got no choice but to accept my part in this. It doesn’t matter if the gods chose me, like Mother Brown told me; the slaves have chosen me. I nod for her to continue.

“Close your eyes,” she whispers like small waves flushing over the beach on a summer’s day. I do as she tells me to, and she touches my temples on both sides of my head like the elves do when doing mind magic on the slaves, only her touch is more gentle. I sense her entering my mind, and my wolf snarls at her.

“Don’t worry, wild one, I’m not here to hurt either of you,” Mother Safira reassures my wolf and me. “You might not like every part of this lesson, but you will understand why you both will benefit from this. Okay?”

When my wolf only shows her teeth but doesn’t growl, Mother Safira talks to the human part of me. “Celeste, think of your mind as a box that contains everything you know,” she tells me.

I envision one of those rare wooden bejeweled boxes I’ve seen in the palace. Mine resembles my mother’s small one, but I’ve made it more prominent. There are blue stones set in the metalworking around the wood, and the carvings form delicate flowers surrounding a wolf.

“It’s beautiful, Celeste,” Mother Safira sighs. “But you cannot have the wolf displayed on your box. And you need it to be less significant, or else it will pique the interest of whoever is looking into your mind. Try to envision something you see every day.”

I take her words to heart and form my headbox to how I remember what my jewelry box looks like. It’s made of a metal that looks like silver, and infused into it is a material that comes from giant seashells found in Mother Safira’s world. The shells are so big that you get sheets almost one meter (three feet) long and a half meter wide without bends. The seashells are excellent surfaces for delicate paintings where the sheen of the seashell comes through. My jewelry box has blooming trees on the sides and three delicate flowers on the front. On the top of the box is one big mandala flower turning into leaves of the trees, making it all come together.

“Yes, this is better. I learned I had to keep it simple, but beauty surrounds you, so a pretty box suits you better.” I can almost hear Mother Safira’s smile. “Now, put everything into the box.”

I do as she says and notice how my mind becomes white except for me, Mother Safira, and my wolf, who I get to see for the first time. She has gray fur and green-speckled eyes. I want to hug her to me, but Mother Safira stops us.

“Her too,” Mother Safira says, and I blink in confusion. “You must hide your wolf from your father. He will not be happy if he knows you can shift.” Both I and my wolf recoil from the idea.

“No, she’s a part of me! I cannot hide her!” I sputter out.

“You have to, Celeste. What do you think will happen if your father finds your wolf?” My heart sinks. He’s already looking for someone to take me as a concubine. The next thing he will do is put me in a stasis chamber, like my mother. Or worse. Though I do not want to think about it.

Grandmother has threatened me with it before. It will be her last resort because it might reflect poorly on her. Nevertheless, If I step too far out of line, I might become a soldier’s w***e. They will give me to as many soldiers as soldiers who want to rape me. The only break I can expect is when I’m pregnant with the next generation of soldiers.

When Empress Aubrey told me this for the first time, I realized how vicious she was. After my father’s, no Terra’s betrayal, I want to extend this to all elves being this cruel.

Hating what I must do, I open the lid for my wolf to jump in. She whimpers but does not protest further than that. No sounds escape as soon as the lid is down. Mother Safira nods approvingly, but it is more painful than I like to admit. My wolf is such an essential piece of me! It like I’m cut in two.

“Good work. The next thing is to make it believable; to do that, you need to fill this white void,” Mother Safira tells me. “The easiest way to do this is to build your mind room to match the room you are already in. Take out the memory of where we are.”

Again, I see Mother Safira kneeling before me like she does outside my mind. The only difference is that she’s shimmering, a clear sign this is in my mind. I’m sitting in the same chair in front of my mirror. The desk is filled with makeup, a hairbrush, and a few items I can put in my hair.

Next to us is a table with a big elaborate jewelry box and perfume bottles. In the back are several rows of dresses and under shifts, ranging from everyday wear to pretty court dresses. The room has also details I haven’t thought about directly—they are just there automatically.

I smile, proud of the job I did. But my smugness evaporates as I follow Mother Safira’s eyes. Behind me is my wolf sitting malcontent for the seconds she had to spend in the box. It’s almost like she tried to hide from me. Without speaking, Mother Safira gets across what I need to do.

Again, I lift the lid, and a grumpy wolf becomes smaller as she enters the box again. “I’m sorry, but Mother Safira is right. Please don’t fight me on this,” I address her and get a pained look back before she disappears into the box altogether.

“You have a natural talent for this,” Mother Safira sounds impressed, making me blush.

“No, I’m not. I still remember what you said when I was having lessons in your world.”

As I speak, our surroundings change to the rocky beach in her homeworld, where I once huddled between massive stones. I had hidden away from my training masters and was crying when Mother Safira came to me. To comfort me, she told me about what she did when she was lonely or sad. She imagined a place of happiness and concentrated on correcting every little detail. In hindsight, she was already training me for this spell from then on, if not before.

“I’ve needed that escape more than once.”

I give her a sad smile and look up at her from the same rocks I sat between ten and fifteen years ago. She is trying to hide her tears from me, but noticing she cannot hide her compassion somehow makes me less alone. She has seen me growing up and knows what I’ve been through. It might not have been life and death for me in the past, but even my privileged life has been a life of suffering.