Miracle of the Moon Goddess

1: It's A Cruel World

“Are you ready, Celeste?” mom asks me, straightening her immaculate pink dress. Her hair is styled with light pink gemstones. It’s done in an elaborate way that must have taken hours. The make-up she has put on makes her look more awake and aware than normal. The usual confusion in mom’s face is gone. It’s like there is someone else at home every time it’s time to go visit my grandmother, Empress Aubrey.

I remember when I was little how glad I was that my father spent time with my mom. I thought they were happy in love. He certainly told me so. When I was sent away to another world for some training purposes, I comforted myself that mom wasn’t alone like me. That she had someone to hug and love. Yes, I did have my own slaves, my mothers, with me, but a hug had to be given in secret, and it was best not to risk their lives.

As I grew up, I learned that mom faked her happiness. She did it so I wouldn’t be scared of my father. That was when I was too young to understand what it meant that she’s here against her will. As I grew up she shared stories about her homeworld and the two mates waiting for her to break free from my father. The longing in her voice was captivating, and I hope one day to experience what she had when I finally can visit her world.

Around the same time as mom started telling me about her old life, I also learned about time differences in the different worlds. I tried to comfort myself that mom only had to be alone with my father for a few days at the time, even if I was gone for at least a year every time I left her. That time was moving more slowly for her comforted me until I realized what she was warning me about.

Around puberty, I realized how different her views of the elves were compared to what I’ve been brought up to believe. Her and the slaves' stories made more sense than the supority tales I learned from my elven teaches. She knew that my fate was to become a tool for the elves. My destiny might not to become a concubine, but I would be used for their purpose regardless of my half-elf status.

Her lessons also taught me the possibility that in the end I might share her fate as concubine, even if my father told me differently. If I survive my father’s grand plans for me, I might not be as free as he promised. From what my mother tells me, he might be lying to me. Then he will force me to become a concubine for a man wanting more children and not getting them from his wife. Hopefully, his deception will only be that he will choose my husband, and I will not have any say in it.

She also told my brothers about her life. Since they are men, they have a brighter future than my sisters and me, and they are somewhat more accepted among the elves. She told me she wanted to teach them compassion for their future wives and concubines. I think she was hoping that they would see how wrong this whole concept of forcing women to only exist as a means to birth out children is cruel.

The problem between my parents became really bad when my father wanted to send me away to a school for five years in a world with about the same timeframe as this, my homeworld. Sending me away for so long was meant as a punishment because he had found me sneaking around a portal room. Mom fought for me to stay, and it ended up with him forcing her to sleep in a stasis chamber for the first time. I was around 15 at the time.

When I came back, the twins she had been pregnant with were away on off world training, and she was pregnant again, still in the chamber. When she woke up from her stasis sleep, her mind wasn’t the same. She got confused by the simplest things, and neither she nor my youngest siblings recognized each other as mother and children. But being a woman with compassion, she still cared for them in her own way.

Mother Green has told me there is still hope of her mind being restored, but I don’t know. The only time she seems aware of her surroundings is at times like now when we are invited to court. And like I said, I’m not sure I would call her conscious. She doesn’t behave like herself; her personality has totally changed. Discovering a few things through my new wolf soul, I think it might be mom's wolf, or maybe the Moon Goddess mom told me about when I was little.

“Yes, mom, I’m ready,” I smile back at her. My purple dress matches hers in shape and cut. My dress has a few pink details to enhance this, whereas my mom's dress has purple details. Standing by mom's side, my sister Thea is wearing a dress like mine. Everyone can see we are mother’s children. Usually, the young children can avoid our grandmother, but I guess it’s something important happening today. My other siblings are not in this world right now, so it’s only us two and mom.

Walking to mom, she takes me in an embrace. It’s been a long time since she last responded, so I sink into her. It feels good having her close again. Mom sniffs me like she always does when we hug, but today the hug became shorter. Breaking the hug, she studies my face.

“You smell different. Has something happened?” Then mom smiles the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her. “Your wolf?” she whispers conspiratorially, looking into my eyes. I only nod, knowing we cannot speak of it with my father in the next room.

I look down on Thea to take the hand that is not holding on to mom. Her face is swollen with tears. Her twin brother was sent away only a few days ago, and she hasn’t taken it well. The last time they had off-world training, they went together and, I guess the safety of being two has been a comfort for her. She probably also realizes that chances are that she will be gone by the time he comes back to this world. I’ve seen so many siblings come and go like this it’s hard to keep up. I’m not even sure how old Thea is. If mom were more lucid, she would have said Thea is too young for any of this. All I know is that she is from mom’s last pregnancy, and was born in the stasis chamber.

“Sire Prince Terra,” My sister and I say in unison while curtseying him. Mom ignores the man. “Have you heard anything from Damien?” I add and meet fathers eyes in the hope of a clear answer. Damien went for some off-world training, and I haven’t heard from him since.

I get what I wish for when my father only answers with a short “No.” There is no more straightforward answer than that, I guess. I don’t bother asking why it might take longer than expected. Knowing father, he won't tell this to me anyway.

“Do you know why we have been summoned?” I ask before he can open the door out from our cave. I’m too curious for my own good as always. You would think I had learned by now. This time he only looks back at me with calculating eyes, and nods before going out to the two awaiting palenques. My parents go to the first, and Thea and I take the second one. Mom looks angry, as she usually does near father. He protectively holds around her, making her lean back into him. Even from my point of view, I can see that she is not remotely relaxed.

“Is this the first time you will meet grandmother?” I ask Thea, taking my eyes away from my parents. She nods quietly, so I hug her closer to me. She’s stiff like mom, but more because she is not used to affection except whatever she has shared with her twin Malvin. “You are doing great, Thea,” I whisper to assure her. “When in private, you can show off your personality, but at court, the best is to stay quiet and only speak when spoken to.”

“Yeah, Mother Brown told me as much,” she gives me a short smile meant for polite conversation. It surprises me; she is so young!

“You can’t talk about our mothers in public. You know what will happen if anyone finds out about how our household works,” I warn Thea, and she pales.

When mom understood that we would grow up primarily outside of her control, but she could send slaves with us, she asked them to become our mothers, to be the mothers she could not be for us. She didn’t tell them to help her. She asked them, knowing it’s their lives that are at stake. I remember barely hearing her inquire about it to her slaves, our future mothers, as Damien and I sat guarding the door against surprise visits from father.

“Please, I want my kids to know motherly love,” she had pleaded, and the nine who volunteered had done as she had asked. They all had been like a mother to my siblings and me, and I loved them all for it. That being said, it mainly was Mother Green who accompanied me when I went for off-world training and school. She was the one who I went to for comfort when everything was at its bleakest.

“Don’t worry,” I tell Thea. “This time, no harm done.” She went quiet again, and I let her be. Instead, I kept thinking about the man in the portal Damien opened up. Like before, I wish Damien hadn’t closed it. I would have liked to talk to mom’s mate if it was him at all. I’ve also wondered what mom would do if I told her, but with her being out of her mind, I cannot risk it.

Not to mention I wish I could have visited the same world where I saw the moon. I’ve been to five different worlds before, and none of them had moons. ‘I think it’s on purpose,’ my inner voice tells me. ‘Now that your soul is whole and I’m here with you, you are more robust.’

I’m still not used to her voice, my wolf’s voice, but she is right. I have noticed some changes. Like my senses are getting better, and I don’t tire as quickly. I was not particularly poorly trained before my wolf half came to me, but I think I could even take Damien in a fight now.

Why didn’t Damien get a wolf soul? I ask the voice.

‘I don’t know.’ The voice sounds thoughtful, so I don’t interrupt. ‘Maybe Damien didn’t get the wolf genes from mom? He’s not a full wolf like us.’ I smile to myself when she calls us full wolf. It sounds like my father when he tells me how much better true elves are compared to halfbreeds like myself. ‘There is nothing halfbreed about us, Celeste,’ she claims, but I ignore her. I know who my Sire is, and I’m okay with that. She can mutter as much as she wants. She can’t change facts, proud or not.

Curious about my new abilities, I close my eyes to see how much better I can use my other senses. Straining myself, I can barely hear mom and my father murmur between themselves. Mom is begging for something again, talking about how ‘she’ is too young for that. I don’t know if they are talking about Thea or me. Maybe one of my other sisters?

I lose my concentration when I hear someone in front of my parents whisper in fear: “Don’t be stupid, move out of the way!”

“But it’s her!” A dazed voice answers. “My mate.”

I open my eyes, and in front of my parent's palanquin, I see a group of slaves carrying heavy burdens. In the midst of them, I see the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, and my wolf repeats his words: ‘My mate.’ The other slaves manage to make him move to the side and kneel before it’s too late, but I see him glance up at me when my parents are carried past him.

He has the darkest skin I’ve ever seen, and when we lock eyes, he winks at me with a warm dark brown gaze making me melt instantly. No one has ever made me feel like this before, and my wolf whimpers ‘mate’ over and over again, but I cannot do anything but stare at him. I want to throw myself down from the palanquin and into his arms. I feel my whole body long for him and his touch. The smell of my arousal makes it clear that I want to be touched everywhere.

I cannot phantom where my desperation comes from, but his reaction seems to mimic the same anguish as I have. His breath hitches like mine, and his body is shaking by the effort of not getting closer. I see what I assume is my mate's friend, slowly shaking his head in the corner of my eye. The careful movement reminds me that if I do as I want to, my mate’s life will be over, and in a painful way too, if my father’s rage doesn’t get the best of him. All I can do is wonder who this man is and avoid losing myself in his beauty.

Keeping myself in my seat, I force my head to turn away from the man and the group of slaves. Concentrating on breathing, I almost lose my cool when we walk past the group, and the scent of anis and fern hits me. Drying the corner of my lips before drool escapes my mouth, I force myself to look at my little sister instead. Thea looks back at me with questions in her eyes.