The Lonely and The Madman

A Bridge

© All Rights Reserved- The Silent Snow, 2024.

I was gonna try to avoid Adam but as soon as I made my way to the court, he purposely walked with me.

“Crystal! Wait up.” He gently said. How even? He yelled my name and yet his voice sounded gentle and soft. What. The. Hell? LIKE HOW?!

A week ago, he took this personality quiz where he found out he was an ENTJ-A which stands for Extroverted, Intuitive, Thinking, Judgement, and Assertive. He basically had the same personality as me except he was extroverted. Albeit, I only found out because I eavesdropped on his conversation but he told it to me afterwards in an attempt to make small talk. It worked pretty well. Since he’s an extrovert, he befriends everyone, even me. Because of that, he’s probably my only friend. But we aren’t really close enough to be considered friends. Besides, I know why he’s talking to me right now.

“Oh. Hi Adam, I didn’t notice you were there.” I reply in a weak and calm voice, the volume and pitch of my voice is lower than it usually is.

He chuckles to this, “No worries.” I wasn’t, but whatever. “-You’re going to the court for badminton, right? Can I join you?” he politely asks. His voice sounds enthusiastic, like it’s expecting yes for an answer.

Right now, I’m resisting the urge to say no and avoid him, as well as to correct his “Can” to “May”. Because of this, I unknowingly don’t reply immediately.

“Crystal?” he follows, bringing me back to reality, ironically.

“Hm? Sorry? What was that again? I didn’t actually quite hear you.” I did, and he said it a bit too loud and closely to me for me not to hear it. I don’t know if he’s just too polite to say anything about it or if thinks I’ve gone deaf from all that swimming.

“Oh, sorry-” What for? –“I was just asking if you’re heading to the court for badminton..”

I attempted to resist the temptation to waste our time and answer rudely, but I couldn’t.

“Oh no, I’m actually headed there to commit homicide and set a fire.” I say, my voice probably sounded a bit serious.

“Oh lucky. I can’t, my dad’s the coach and he keeps his eyes on me.” He gently replied. His tone didn’t even change. I don’t know if I should be impressed or scared. I wonder why he hasn’t mentioned the jacket, I would’ve.

“Lucky?” I say in a curious and mean tone, “I mean my dad is dead, so he wouldn’t be able to do that to me but, would you really say lucky?” Why am I saying this? Is it because I want him to know more about me? Maybe it’s in my nature to ruin people's joy? Ugh whatever. Too late to take it back now.

“Oh my! I’m so sorry- I already knew but I still-” he cuts himself off. What was that? He knew already?

“How do you know?” I waste no time confronting him. I like him, but my curiosity wins. “No one in our entire school, heck- no one in the whole town knows except me and my uncle.” I’m not actually sure about the whole town thing, but I already said it. There’s not much of a point taking it back. It’s also taking him a bit too long to respond.

“I- uhm” he said, clearing his throat. “-Well, I saw it in an old newspaper… thingy.” – “It said ‘Robert Samuels found dead’ And then talked about how he... uhm, you know.”

Ah. Was he hesitant to say it because he was worried it might trigger my stress? An extrovert like him must be good with reading people, I take it. How, kind… I guess

“Hmph, if you say so.” Why did I say it like that? I like him but I can’t turn off my little mean and distant filter. I mean it’s how I am but, I thought that if I really liked someone, I wouldn’t be like this. I must not feel comfortable or safe around him. I’m not like this uncle or Mr. Whiteman, or is it because they’re older?

“Adam, may I ask you something?” I added, my words don’t seem to match my current thoughts anymore.

“Of course, anything, Crystal.” He seems interested in what I want to ask.

“Your father, what’s his first name?

He doesn’t reply immediately.

“It’s Steven, I think… I’m not really sure since no one ever uses it and he doesn’t hang any of his diplomas or anything…. Sorry.” He sounds disappointed. Maybe because he couldn’t fuel my social curiosity? I’m not sure.

“Steven Whiteman? What a nice name.”

Our entire conversation I looked straight forward as I waited for him to mention his jacket so I immediately noticed that we’re pretty near the courtroom, so without waiting for him to reply, I rushed to the doors. I don’t know why. It was just… awkward for me.

“Oh. Thank you, I think?” I hear him say – “Crystal?” That’s what I last heard before I left the hearing range. He catches up to me after a minute when it wasn’t even that far. Must’ve been talking with his girlfriend, Daisy. Well, I’m not actually sure if they’re dating but they kind of act like it. Despite rudely leaving him earlier, I walk up to him before training starts.

“Adam,” I say. I think I sounded a bit cold.

“Oh Crystal! Hi! You’re quite a good runner, I guess that’s why you’re the star-athlete of our school.” He still says it flatteringly even after I left him with no warning. He’s like a dog.

“Oh, I suppose so. Anyway, may I ask you another question?” I try to dismiss what he just said, despite how nice it felt to hear it from him.

Maybe because my uncle always flatters me that it doesn’t mean as much. Almost every time I see him and tell him what I’ve done for the remaining time he wasn’t there or when I couldn’t tell him over the phone I always hear-

“Wow, you must be like the smartest girl in the world or something.” Or things in the line of that. One compliment I particularly remember was; “Woah, so you have brain, brawns, and beauty? You’re like your parents minus all the annoying bad stuff.” My mother was valedictorian in almost everything she did while dad was a prominent athlete. It’s pretty funny how they were both popular yet not many even know they have a child that exists. I didn’t get to know my parents that well since they died when I was young so I only know about them through my uncle’s stories. They sound like me, their personality, except well- extroverted. Just like Adam. Maybe that’s part of why I like him. And why I like me. I’m a lot like them and I love them without even properly knowing them, therefore I love myself too. I’m pretty because of them too. Well, at least above average. I was so lost in thought about all that I didn’t even hear Adam was still talking to me.

“Crystal?”

“Huh? Oh sorry. I didn’t hear you again.”

“Oh. Well, I just said that you’re really good and asked what YOU were going to ask…” I can’t tell if he’s disappointed or excited.

“Oh right. Are you and Daisy dating?” I say straight-forwardly.

“No! Absolutely not!” He chuckles. Strange. My interference and intuition are almost never wrong. I swear I could observe some sort of romantic attachment on his part. I never even thought she liked him, but I always pondered over what he felt. I guess I was… wrong.

“Ah, then I was mistaken. Thank you for your time.” I reply professionally.

I notice his friends tease him about it. Perhaps they have finally realized I existed? Or maybe they’re teasing him for talking to the air, or perhaps encouraging him to ACTUALLY date Daisy, now that I’ve mentioned it? Who knows? For some reason the thought of it disturbs me. Oh right. I guess that’s normal for you to feel when you have a crush. Envy. How repulsive. Anyways, the entire time we’re playing and training I can feel his eyes on me. I wonder if he’s thinking “Why didn’t I ask for my jacket back?” That’s what I would think. Later on, Mr. Whiteman asks us to partner up for the 2v2 rounds. Usually, I just choose the one who also didn’t get chosen by anyone else. But today I was actually CHOSEN by someone. Marcus Kent, Adam’s best friend. He’s also the 2nd best player in badminton, and the best one in our basketball team. Not to mention, he’s Ranked 6th in our class, but he’s pretty close to reaching the 5th ranking or maybe even the 4th one. Is he trying to get something out of me? Eh, who cares? I think we might actually get along. He has the same personality as me, actually.

“Excuse me Ms. Crystal Samuels, you don’t have a partner yet, do you? Would you mind if I was your partner?” He politely says so while maintaining eye contact.

I can sense Adam’s glance. Is he making Marcus do this so he can get his jacket back?

“No, I don’t mind at all. Thank you for the offer.” I reciprocate his politeness. Still maintaining our eye contact, for some reason.

I never noticed how he had the same colors as my mom. Blond hair, fair skin, and brown eyes. His hair is long like Adam, but he keeps it down, unlike Adam. He’s actually the same height as me, well he’s an inch taller but whatever. For some reason, him reminding me of my mother makes him feel a bit more pleasant than before. But boy, oh boy, was I in for a ride. We began practicing for the 2v2 rounds but he maintained conversation as we did. I noticed his grip on his racquet is strong, that’s probably why it won’t slip, and why that part of the racquet is a bit worn out. Anyways, like I was saying- he maintained conversation, and just like me, he kept it direct and straight-forward.

“So, do you like Adam?”

“Pardon?” For some reason I’m not that guarded with him.

“Adam, are you romantically interested in him?” It’s nice that he specified it for me.

“Hmm... Before I answer that crude question of yours, why are you asking?”

“Well… He might be into you, you know.”

“That sounds silly.” Though I do feel Adam’s stares a lot, it’s probably because I have yet to return his darned jacket that I’m using right now. But I don’t dismiss the idea. Marcus is a very wise kid, so I want to know what gives him such an idea.

“No. It doesn’t, not at all. You’re more popular than you think, you know. More attractive too, I suppose.”

“Thank you, but may you explain why you think Adam might be attracted to me?” I say, the words coming out of his mouth aren’t making much sense, but I don’t think he’s a “liar” kind of person.

“Well, he talks about you more than you should talk about a person you’re not even that close with, he often finds opportunities to be near you, and he stares at you, like a lot- in case you don’t notice. Not to mention, that. That jacket you’re wearing, it’s his, isn’t it? He’s a bit possessive of his belongings so it is rather strange he let you have it. He is an extrovert, yes, but he is rather interactive and curious about you. Trust me, I know him very well…” he says hesitantly.

“That actually makes sense, touché to you.” Here’s the part I might regret, where I have to answer his question about Adam.

“So…?”

“… Probably? I’m not quite sure…” I reply,

although I know I’m lying. I just don’t want him to know about it, he is still Adam’s best friend after all. I’m pretty sure he’ll snitch on me; I can feel it.

“I’ll just take that a yes. Do you have any social media? I’m planning to give it to Adam, or better yet- you could text him first so he won’t feel so nervous.”

“Nervous? Because of me?”

“You’re quite intimidating, you know.”

“I suppose… Right, I don’t have any type of social media.”

“I can just give you his number, you gotta pen?” Either he’s old-fashioned or he noticed I don’t have my phone with me today.

“It’s in my bag, hold on.” Am I actually doing this? Eh, why not? I walk to my bag which is placed on the very side of the bleachers. I grab my most efficient one and walk back to Marcus. As I take a glance at the room, I see Adam. He was staring at me, but looked away when I noticed. Does he really like me? He must be a madman if he does. Anyway, I give Marcus my pen and he reaches for my arm. Taking a glance at Adam, he was already staring at us though. Marcus rolls up my, or rather, Adam’s green sleeves and writes it on my arm. I’ve noticed it before when our teachers make me check their papers, but his penmanship is incredibly neat, unlike mine which looks like it’s some sort of cursive font dubbed to be elegant but you can’t even properly read it. I looked at my arm and there it was. Adam’s number on my forearm in black ink.

“Can you write down yours too?” I tell Marcus, my voice seems softer and more comfortable. I get along with him well, after all.

He puts on a light smile. “Sure, I guess?” h e follows. The way he smiles. It’s similar to how I smile. My real smile, I mean. Not the s******c looking forced smile.

“Thank you. You ready to obliterate these guys?” I ask him. He chuckles at this.

“I was born ready, and 2 months early-” he says in a silly tone, but I’m pretty sure he’s serious about the 2-month thing. And guess what? Our competitors were Adam and some girl named Lora. She's the 3rd best player in our team, she’s also a very soft minded person who looks up to me, I guess it’s because I’m the best player at 2 sports and ranked 2nd in our class? Damn it. I’m surrounded by people I don’t want to disappoint the most. Mr. Whiteman, Marcus, Adam, and Lora, the girl who actually likes me and interacts with me.

“Alright- Crystal, Marcus, Lora, I expect the best from you three as our best players. And Adam, don’t disappoint me son.”

It’s a good thing he said that. My adrenaline rush will probably kick in. The game started, but it felt like such an easy win. Why? Adam let Marcus win, and maybe even me. I don’t understand him, to be honest. He prioritized his best friend over his own father’s word, maybe he’s used to it? But still. Anyway, after everyone was finished with their games, Mr. Whiteman announced that school would be canceled for a week due to some construction problems, infestations, infections, and something about getting the place properly cleaned. No more dead cockroaches on the floor after that, I guess.