Everything Has Changed

I'm Yours

“I admire you. I like you, Ken, I just like simply who you are. I judge you at first but as time goes by and I know you better each day, I realize I was wrong. I saw who you truly are and I admire those characteristics of you. I am not asking you to give back all the admirations I gave to you and also I don’t want to ruin our friendship. I just thought that you need to know these feelings of mine before it fades away. Don’t play with my feelings. I’m going home, goodnight,” I explained and let a smile out of my lips and wave goodbye.

He is still standing in his place and he is still in shock. He is processing all the words I gave to him deep and serious. I turned away and let out a deep breath for I know that I’d accomplish one of the burdens in my heart.

“Seriously, you said those cheesy lines on Ken Ashton San Juan who’s famous now for being Mr. Veatri Academy in our last year at that school?” Kylie whispered when she wanted to burst out his anger on me.

“I knew it, Sayaka! It’s not new to me, I know you like that kind of guy. Go for it girl,” Savannah cheerily stated while eating a cookie on my couch.

“I knew it, the way your eyes met it electrified and I knew in time something would happen,” Ayesha stated worriedly.

“Why are you guys all worried? I just stated to him what I feel to let go of the burden I have here in my heart. I don’t want to have that all the time at least now I can breathe peacefully,” I assured them that nothing more will happen.

They are still here in our house. They are just worried about me having a crush on someone and they know my Family too. They know that my family is a fan of arranged marriage and I know all of that but I often do not think about it.

“What if your mother knew about it Saj? What if you and San Juan are having mutual feelings? Would you tell it to your mom or would you dare not to try or fit into that relationship even if you love each other truly? What will you fight for?” Serenity utters and it hits me differently.

At that moment when Seren spoke those words, it hit me directly. I am also asking myself, am I allowed to love someone outside of the arranged marriage? Luckily my sister wants it but me, do I also like it? I just don’t know.

"That wouldn't happen Seren," I stated to her that maybe she's guessing wrong but also she has a point about it.

They lost the topic. Kylie diverted the topic to lessen my overthinking. I know everything about my Family. They are good but also they have a bad side that I don't want to let out.

Monday morning and I feel energized on how I managed my day yesterday. It was relaxing and also a stress reliever day. I stepped out of the car and let my long jet black straight hair dance as I walked out of the Parking Lot. I hold my books in my hand and my bag.

I miss being in the classroom that's why I read all of the lessons they tackled when Ken and I are gone. I walked past the soccer field and the bench near it caught my attention.

I suddenly remember what Ken does for me. I let out a smile after reminiscing. As I walked happily there were lots of students talking and then they looked at me. I'm used to it but I think Ken doesn't.

He is walking down the 2nd Floor of the Faculty room and there are lots of girls who are giving him chocolates and some other stuff. He walked towards our classroom and so did I when other students saw us.

"SayaKen is here!"

"They fit perfectly for each other!"

"No, Ken is mine!"

I ignored what they all said while Ken was walking beside me and gave me an orange fruit and walked away.

I pause for a moment and think what these fruits are for but the other students are murmuring something about us.

For that day, I saw Ken's table is full of stuff that his fans gave to him. He can't just ignore them and he's just accepting their gifts.

Yes, Ken is a cold-hearted man when he does not know who you are but he's not too bad like I thought about him at first. He always accepts the gifts that the girls gave to him because he's kind.

I smile a bit after realizing those treatments he does for other girls. It's funny and kind of cute too. It's time for a break but I'm still writing down notes for the class we had earlier and I'm deadly serious about it that's why I skipped my meal.

Someone just put a strawberry yogurt on my desk and I thought it was Ayesha but I was wrong. The Yogurt has a letter on it.

Don't take notes too much, just remember every important detail.

-Ken

After I read those lines I immediately looked upon him and he is sitting on his desk and he is looking at me too. I felt awkward and looked back on my paper and focused on writing down notes.

What's wrong with him?

Days after, Ken is still doing such things that I am totally confused about. He's still giving me yogurt and some food to eat when I am busy studying at my table.

I don't get why he is doing these but I am irritated at this point. I just don't want to be mad at him.

"Girl, I bet there's a lot again," Ayesha stated while we are here at our locker.

I opened my locker and then I saw some letters that came anonymously. A week after the pageant there are boys from the lower grade levels who do admiration letters and give them to me using my locker.

I find it cute and I smiled as I saw how they are written to express their admiration to someone.

"I find it cute, Yesh. Those boys are adorable even though I don't know them personally," I said happily and checked the letters one by one.

We are going to the Gymnasium to practice in our Physical Education class. We do some basic moves in Taekwondo with Boxing. It helps me to defend myself from someone whose intention is not pure.

As the practice went well I grabbed my things in my locker and went to the washroom and did some stuff that made me feel refreshed. I went out of the washroom and someone's waiting in the hallway.

He's leaning on the wall and he's dressed up too. I walked through him and he gave me bottled water. At that time I am thankful to him because I am deadly thirsty.

He walked away and still doesn't talk about what happened a week ago. I still don't get what he wanted to say through his actions. I just know that he doesn't want to give up the friendship that we have and I see it through his actions.

I'm good at it.

Saturday afternoon I felt bored at home. I focused on studying Friday night up to Saturday morning and I feel confident about it. I cleaned some stuff in my room and gathered the things together and organized it.

Saj: Let's go to the Mall. Let's hang out.

Kylie: I'm out Saj, I'm doing my thesis right now and it's so frustrating the heck.

Yesh: Me too, I'm sorry Saj. I can't have a family gathering today. I can't be out of it.

Saj: Okay, I understand. Maybe it's just self-time. I need some refreshment.

Take care, Love y'all.

Our call ended so fast and I don't want to be with Josh right now. I guess self-time is okay. I let myself be prepared and dressed properly to treat myself right now. I guess this will be peaceful.

I wear a yellow floral wrap dress and white Korean sandals and a white handbag to pair. As I got into the Mall, I bought some stuff at beauty stalls and some clothes at department stores.

Happily sightseeing those beautiful dresses and bags in the stores when I noticed 3 boys are following me around.

At first, I thought I was just overreacting but I'm not. They are still following me wherever I go. I remember what happened to me before and the fright I felt that day is the same as now and I have no one to come with.

I immediately go to the restaurant and look at my surroundings if they are still following me and yes, they are still. I'm afraid right now of what could happen. I just thought that I can have my relaxed day right now but I guess not.

l couldn't eat too much because of the anxiousness I'm feeling right now. I fast my walk and I know they're just behind me. I'm going towards the coffee shop and thinking that someone might save me.

I almost jumped in fear when someone grabbed my wrist and turned me. I might be hallucinating right now to feel that he will save me all the time and at this time.

"Sayaka, are you alright?" he uttered in a worried tone.

I pointed my index finger at his cheeks and checked if it was real.

"Hey, are you okay?" he said again but right now he needs an answer.

"Oh yeah, I'm okay right now. I th-think someone's following me earlier and I am afraid of death. What can they do to me if I have not seen you here? I think they're gone," I said while looking at the surroundings and searching for them.

"Why are you here alone? You must be more careful when you're not with someone else," he said while we are walking through the elevator.

"I-m fine, I just want some time for myself and I guess I can't," I said in a very sad tone.

My knees are like jelly earlier because I'm frightened but right now it's getting better. He saves me again and I don't know how I should thank him.

"Why are you here?"

"I bought some things that I need in school and then I saw you," he uttered.

"Do you have time? Wanna watch a movie? My treat, you saved me again. Thank you," I said when we stepped out of the elevator.

We watched a movie at that time and I didn't feel any awkwardness. I just feel that I am safe and secured. No one could harm me.

It was late at night when we walked into the garden yard of the Mall. It is very beautiful. The flowers that circled the bridge are very iconic. How the wind blows gives me chills and how the fake river flows under the bridge. It calms my mind.

We sat on the bench near the bridge and we watched together how the water runs on the bridge.

"I guess if water can talk it would say that running all along is tiring. Going with the flow even you don't know how deep you will fall," I uttered.

I guess he got what I wanted to say, he looks at me and then looks away.

I wanted him to stop what he is doing with me. Helping me, caring for me will not help me to forget these feelings I have for him. It will just go on and on just like water and I wouldn't know that I fall deeper and deeper and can't get back from where I am originally on to.

I walked through the bridge and touched the flowers on it while he was beside me.

"Ken, if you're just playing with my feelings showing me your kindness for the past week is a bit frustrating. You know that I like you and I don:'t want our friendship to be ruined because of those three freaking words. I just want you to know if you don't mean to do those things, just stop it. Stop making me fall on you even deeper," As I said those last phrases I look at him seriously.

"Don't play with my feelings I'm begging you,"

The last sentence that I said to him before I turned and began to walk away but he held my wrist and turned me in front of him.

"Should I tell you too? should I be vocal about my feelings too? Don't you get it?" he uttered seriously.

"Action speaks louder than words, but action without words is confusing," I uttered back at him.

I looked at him with an intense gaze. He gave me a deep sigh and he walked towards me. I felt awkward so I walked backward and he walked forwards to me again until I cornered on the bridge.

He looked at me back and I looked away as he's going near my face.

"I don't play with your feelings and I don't like what you feel right now. Baby should I tell you this?" he uttered while looking at me directly.

I can't even breathe properly.

What does he mean?

"You confessed first but baby I liked you first. I'll court you,"

My heart began to wander.