Natalie Trilogy Book 3: The Last Stand

Chapter 7: Second Thoughts

C H A P T E R  7:

S E C O N D T H O U G H T S

BRADLEY silently was looking at his wife. She was peacefully sleeping at the other end of the bed. The room was not that dark, thanks to the lampshade at his side and to the light from the balcony. Usually, the time of the day --- 3:00 A.M --- they both were still awake, talking about many things like having new beginnings once they came back to Los Angeles.

Kahit noong makabalik na sila at makalipat sa bagong bahay, ganoon ang naging siste nila.

Today was different; Natalie fell asleep. Marahil ay dahil sa pagod. They just got married yesterday. Katatapos lamang kanina ng post-wedding party. Everybody enjoyed, and obviously, Natalie enjoyed.

Bradley expected that the wedding itself and the celebration would be the most important event of his life. Damn, it actually was the big day of his life. Thus, he expected more from it.

That expectation had surprised him way beyond impossible --- because it turned out to be his big disappointment.

Bradley just made a mistake --- again. This time, it was a real thing.

Maingat bagaman tahimik na ibinaba niya ang mga paa mula sa kama. Umupo siya sa edge niyon patalikod mula sa asawa. From his pocket, he withdrew a small envelope. Laking pagsisisi ni Bradley kasi pinanghawakan niya iyong pananaw na maayos na ang lahat at ayaw niyang sirain ang lahat. Kaya ay parang nais niyang isumpa ang sarili kung bakit huli na nang paniwalaan niyang singsing nga ng kanyang ina ang nakikita.

Nasa sobreng iyon nakasilid ang naturang singsing. Bradley had not actually got it from the inside. Hindi niya kasi magawa. At masabi mang hindi pa niya iyon nailalabas, sigurado siyang sinsing iyon ng ina. That ring was more than part of his life. Saulado niya ang hitsura niyon at hindi niya maaaring kalimutan.

One year ago, he kept telling himself everything would be all right because Natalie had survived that night. Ang tanging nasa isip lamang niya noon ay maging maayos ang kalagayan ng mag-ina niya. He could not afford to make another big mistake that could led his child and Natalie disappeared in his life again. Tapos, nang makita niya ang singsing kanina, noon lang inisang bagsakan sa isip iyong sandamakmak na red flags na hindi niya nakikita noon --- hanggang ngayon . . . at least bago may magbigay sa kanya ng sobreng iyon kanina.

 Ah, that night . . . He would never forget that night. Ivanna gave birth. Few minutes later the gunshots suddenly disappeared. The next thing he knew, inilalabas na siya at ang iba pang mga sibilyan ng mga sundalo at pulis palabas ng ospital.

It took another 24 hours before Natalie had found alive. Natalie had to go through a series of tests, debriefing because of the mass shooting. She had gone through a lot of psychotherapy before she finally got recovered, and it would not be possible if it was not because Natalie’s newfound friend from the hospital where she was admitted after she had been rescued that night. Isa itong businessman na maraming kilalang eksperto sa medisina.

If it was one of those red flags, might be. Bradley was having second thoughts about his wife now. Kasi, sino naman ang magpapabigay sa kanya ng singsing ng ina sa araw mismo ng kasal nila ni Natalie?

Naging bulag man siya sa loob ng isang taon, hindi pa niya limot iyong mga sinabi ni Natalie ng gabing iyon. Unfortunately, that was how stupid he was for just remembering it yesterday.

“Why are you still up, B?” It was Natalie. Her voice was heavy just like the one who just woke up, however, it was loud. Sa galaw ng kutson ay pumihit itong paharap sa kanya.

He didn’t turn though. Ever since he got his grip on his mom’s diamond ring, he kept asking himself if that was how the way Natalie talks, even her voice.

Many had changed, especially to Natalie after the mass shooting incident.  Hindi niya iyon tiningnan sa maling paraan.  She had been traumatized, that was why she had changed . . . or so that what he thought and had been told.

“We should’ve gone for our honeymoon, you know.” Bradley smiled --- it was a weak smile.

Natalie giggled. “We’ve talked about it, and we already knew it’s impossible; one week from now, you’d be very busy for gigs and with your music and stuff, plus the proposed concert tour of your latest album.”

Pasimple ay itinagong muli ni Bradley ang sobre sa bulsa. Bumalik siya sa pagkakahiga, sa puntong iyon ay sa tabi ng asawa. Sumiksik naman ang babae sa tagiliran niya.

“About that,” aniya, “I’ve been thinking to collaborate with you with the song I’ve been working on.”

Natalie didn’t breathe for a few seconds. Dikit na dikit ang katawan nito sa katawan niya kaya ramdam na ramdam niya ang bawat galaw nito. For some reasons, she didn’t move a muscle. Parang nagulat, o natigilan.

“I don’t know if I can do it again, B. I mean, I’ve tried, you’ve seen it. But I still couldn’t seem to get back my soul to it.” She sounded anxious.

Of course, Bradley was aware of that. Masyadong malaki ang ang naging epekto ng gabing iyon sa kanila ni Natalie. He was even still had nightmares because of it, while Natalie’s some memories prior to the mass shooting still couldn’t be recovered regardless of Natalie’s willingness to remember it every time she was under hypnosis.

Kasama na roon iyong kung paano magpatugtog ng iba’t ibang klase ng musical instruments at kung paano kumanta. His wife was devastated when she became aware she was not able to play a piano nor sing a melody. Mula noon ay parang napapaso ito sa tuwing nakakakakita ng kahit na anong musical instrument, maski mic ay parang naaaligaga na ito.

And again, Bradley never saw it as a bad thing; he had experienced it when he woke up from a coma. He understood Natalie, somehow.

However, Bradley was now having second thoughts. Bradley was even reluctant to be with his wife tonight . . . in the same bed. Kung bakit ay dahil lang naman sa nasama rin sa mga alaala nitong nawala iyong gabi na ibinigay niya rito ang singsing ng ina. All this time Bradley thought it had been misplaced. Turned out, it maybe was not.

“Well," Bradley tried all he could to sound casual as he cleared his throat, "I was just trying my luck. I’m sorry if I---”

“It’s okay.” Akmang haharapin sana siya ni Natalie --- itinungkod nito ang siko at tutunghay na sa kanyang mukha.

Bagaman si Bradley, agad na bumangon. Literal na bumangon siya mula sa kama at agad na kinuha iyong kaha ng sigarilyo niya sa bedside table. He had been enduring the vague feeling rippling on his skin every time he was with Natalie since the wedding. Or maybe he was not enduring the feeling, he was just in denial.

Pero sa puntong iyon, parang hindi na niya kaya. He did not want to think about anything right now aside from the possibility that the woman he was with was not the real Natalie, but unfortunately, it was not happening.

Natalie was out there . . . somewhere . . . and she was the one who sent him his mom’s diamond ring. That idea kept distracting him. What if the woman he was with now would notice?

Fuck . . . Mabilisan ay sinindihan niya ang sigarilyo. “But I’m disappointed, though . . .” he breathed in, still was not turning to look at Natalie’s direction. Nakatalikod pa rin siya rito. “It’s ashamed that my mom’s ring wasn’t able to be part of our wedding day.”

Pagkasabing-pagkasabi niya niyon, sukat na pumailanlang sa malaking kuwarto ang malakas na pagduwal ni Natalie. Sa pagkakataong iyon ay napapihit na siya paharap. She that moment was running for the bathroom.

His wife continued puking for minutes.

And Bradley was praying he didn’t get his wife pregnant, and if she was, his wife shouldn't be Marga.

Or he would be so f****d up!