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“No- give it - back! It's mine!" I cry pulling on my stuffed pink rabbit. I don't understand why Raven, wants my toy. Her father buys her more toys than me. Why is she so selfish?

" No give it to me! I want it! “ She screams not near close of letting go. But I'm not giving up either. It belongs to me. I'm the one who won the stuffed rabbit. It's mine. It's not my fault she didn't win anything at the amusement park.

" Natasha leave your sister alone, “ I hear my step father. Of course he's siding with Raven. He loves her more than me. Maybe because I'm not her biological daughter.

Even so, I'm not letting Raven have my toy. I don't care what his father says, it belongs to me.

" Quit it! Both of you! “ My mother rages quite annoyed. She doesn't hates it when we fight. Even though we do it so often. But Raven is the problem, she'd take any opportunity to make me sad or angry. She just doesn't want to see me having a peace of mind in my life.

“Give me, my toy back," I screech not listening to what my mother was saying. The stuffed

toy now being fully in Raven's hands. I try to get it back but she pushes me away. “Give it back," I continue to scream.

But she instead rolls down the window and throws it away. My heart drops as it flies to the thick forest. The cold breeze and drops from the rain weeping our faces.

Tears run down my face as anger surges through my veins. How dare she? I hate her! She's so mean and selfish!

“Noo!!" I cry helplessly watching my toy fly away incapable of doing anything. It soon disappears into the thick fog. “Ahhh!!!" I scream enraged as I launch towards Raven. We start wrestling about, scratching and pulling each other's hair. I'm a year older than Raven, and so at some point I'm overpowering her.

The loud commotion getting to everyone in the car. It was a terrible cat fight and neither of us were backing down. Both of us screaming like we possessed by demons. We weren't even bothered by the breeze and sprinkles of water through the open window.

“Raven and Natasha, stop it!!" My mother screams. My father trying to pull us apart. He has ahold of Raven, and tries to pull her away from my wrath. Though I wasn't backing away so easily, I continue fighting even then. She's not escaping so easily, not after what she's done.

**

And as my father pulls her away, I vividly remember her screaming and kicking my mother. Then right I heard my mother scream so loudly, then a loud bang like an explosion before the car lost control. I remember crying my lungs out with fear as the car rolled out of the road. I was still conscious when everything was happening. Everything seems to happen in slow motion. I could hear my sister, my father crying as the car spins violently, tossing me back and forth. I heard another explosion, when it finally stops. A sensation of waves surging through my whole body. I was dizzy and confused. Everything seems to have blurred, sounds coming from a far distance, only a high pitch sound. Almost as if I was completely growing deaf. My head pounding, it felt like it would explode any moment.

I remember creeping out of my window, all the broken glasses slicing through my hands and knees. Seeing the thick grey smoke in the air, and the pungent smell of molten red blood dripping out of my wounds. My whole outfit glazed in red and my mouth filled with a coppery taste. I was beyond shocked, as I desperately search for my family. My knees and my whole body felt so painful and weak, I couldn't stop shaking. Like I was hit by a bus, and it ran back and forth over my body.

Even with all the pain I wanted my mother. That's all I could think about.“Mom!!" I cried for my mother desperately balancing by the car for support. I limp around the car searching, even though I was in agonizing pain. The slippery floor, and pouring rain making it even harder to move.

When I saw my sister lying next to my mother both of were them unconscious and my father kneeling besides them sobbing. I stumble towards them so scared and still confused. I've never seen so much blood in my life, and it made my stomach twist to a knot. I felt so weak, like I would pass out any moment. The terror and anger in my father's eyes, worried me.

“Don't come anywhere close to us! This is all your fault! If she dies it's all because of you!!" He screamed with rage and hatred. His words of hatred felt like a knife through my heart. The physical pain couldn't outweigh the pain I felt in my heart. Was this really my fault?

I don't know where I found my strength, but I covered my ears, crying as I ran back to the woods. Even with the possibility of broken bones, I didn't stop running. I didn't want to hear any of it, but it still rang loud in my head like a gong. No matter how hard I covered my ears, no matter how far I ran from it. It still struck my mind like a trumpet. I was trying to run away from my reality, I was trying to shut it out. I didn't want to feel the pain anymore. I wanted to get away from it all.

But when I realized I can't, I stopped and screamed as loud as I can. Scaring the birds that lodged in the forest. But it didn't help. The pain, the anger only grew worse.

And I set down crying, as it seems is the only thing I can do, as the rain continually pours down, staining my baby blue dress even more. But whatever I did didn't change reality. All my attempts fell short and I was still broken beyond repair. And the thought my mother could die made me hate myself with passion. I started blaming myself for everything.

What if I hadn't been so selfish and given the toy to Raven?

What if I had listened when they tried to stop us?

What if I didn't attack Raven when she threw my toy out the window?

What if? What if?

Would this have happened? None of it would have happened. And we will have arrived at home safely.

I was too young and couldn't handle the pain. And couldn't understand anything happening to me. Why my father would lie? It was all my fault. I couldn't stop crying. I wanted to not live anymore. I hated life and it was not worth it without my mother.

That day they found me passed out in the middle of the forest. I'm still surprised why they even went looking for me. I believed I deserved to die in that forest.

Though I woke up in the hospital. Though I wish I hadn't. When I heard the news about my mother I couldn't handle the pain. Why her? The only person I've ever loved. Who did I wrong to deserve all this?

And it was all my fault. All my fault that she died. And I couldn't take the pain that it caused and the guilt I felt. I couldn't live without my mother, I needed her.

And I had made my decision, that I won't continue without my her in my life. I won't continue to live with the guilt and hatred. I only wanted my her. She's the one to comfort me when times are rough, but she was no more. But I was determined to follow her. I knew she wouldn't be far, and we will go and continue our lives together. I wanted nothing else than to be with her. And I knew there was only one way.

I sneak out of the hospital and into the woods. Everyone was still in shock, and pain, none of them were paying attention to what I was doing. This was a great opportunity for me to get away from everything.

My plan was to throw my self from the huge waterfall, the ran down our territory. The river is what divides from the rogue territory.

But all I remember is standing in front of huge black wolves. I was to young to fight, and I tried to run away. I knew they were dangerous and not from this pack. They looked deadly and smelt as such.

But my attempts were futile when one caught and threw me against the tree. With the excruciating scream that came out of my mouth and everything suddenly went silent.