Roxxane's POV
"You should really think this through, you know." Krystal warns with a wobbling voice after handing me the small black bottle her father had kept for me.
Yesterday after my grand humiliation, the idea to venture into Garrick All Boys Alpha Academy had niggled at me.
I knew I had to disguise myself as a boy and that meant ridding off every ounce that'll identify me as a girl. I needed a strong bane to alter my scent and sleep my wolf, so I'll never be suspected in Garrick as a girl.
So I had Krystal's father, who's the pack herbalist, prep me for a bane. And that's exactly the content of the bottle in my hand.
As I arch my brow at Krystal who looks frantic, she continues. "You do know this bane becomes useless to your fated mate right? As soon as you meet him, your wolf will be awakened due to the strong mating connection you both wield. He will smell you even from a distance and he will know at once that you are a she-wolf."
I scoff. "So you are saying I'm going to run into my mate in Garrick?"
I don't know why the thought of that sounds ridiculous to my hearing.
I don't want a mate. I don't need one. Especially not one from Garrick. It will be one hell of a joke if the moon goddess thinks of mating me with any males in that damn place knowing fully well how much I hate them all.
If not for the fact that it's the only way for me to achieve my mission, I won't bother stepping foot there.
Garrick Academy is like an academy that trains Alpha princes to become Alphas and among the strongest Alphas, an Alpha king is selected. Alphas who usually rule over several packs, commanding so much power and authority. Common Alphas bow to them and that's exactly why I have to get into Garrick.
Since my father denied me his pack, why not take authority into my grip. Those men who emerge as Alpha kings aren't better off than me.
As if reading my mind, Krystal releases a sigh and then swings the topic.
"What if you get caught somehow?" She asks softly, genuine concern etched on her face. "You do know once the administrators find out you are a girl, you'll get kicked out. And by then, you will have already become a rogue since you are running away from your father's demands…"
"I'm not running away," Krystal barely finishes before I jump in. "I'm disowning this pack at my own accord and I'm reclaiming the title I earned. For once stop worrying about me Krystal, it makes me feel weak when you do that." I might have said that to pacify Krystal's agitation but I mean it.
"Would you blame me for that? You keep doing things that'll put you in harm's way. How you keep getting through it remains a mystery to me but this time around…" Krystal lashes out but suddenly, she calms down. Her eyes grow softer as she steps close to me, taking my shoulder in her grip.
"You're committing the worst treason anyone has ever done. You're disregarding your father's command. You are going rogue. My only friend is going rogue and maybe I won't worry much if you weren't leaving for the wrong reasons. Let's say you never get caught but you do know Garrick Academy isn't a place anyone wants to be. Only the strongest breeds groom in that place, all others either run away or get bullied to their death."
Krystal's last word plunges through me like a two-edged sword, awakening a painful memory I've long tried to bury. My eyes sharpen hard as they lock into her soft, almost teary ones. We both know where she's driving at.
"How sure are you that you are going to survive Garrick? You may wear the garments of a boy. You may mask your scent or bury your wolf. But still, you are going to be the only girl among wolves of different breeds in that school. How sure are you that you can face all of them?"
As Krystal speaks, my blood boils hot through my bloodstream. Not for Krystal. Nor for what she just said but for something else. The memory of my late brother Ronan, takes center stage in my mind giving me more reasons why I should get into Garrick Academy. If nothing else but to meet those morons who laid a finger on my brother and make them taste hell.
Instead of making me have a rethink about my decision, Krystal's words fueled me even more. "I don't care whoever walks the ground of Garrick Academy. If they think they could belittle me, then they've got a huge surprise coming." That's literally the last thing I say to Krystal before I take my leave.
Krystal knows better than to try to pester me against my decision when my mind is made up already. I didn't spend my whole life in training grounds and battle fronts only to get sold off in marriage. Nor to let myself be scared of what mere Alphas can do to me when I'm one myself. All I need is the official title.
Dawn meets me in my chambers tidying myself up for my mission. I wouldn't exactly call it dawn as the day is quite still dark. I arrange the few male robes I have into my bag, more like the ones I took from my twin brother. I swiftly groom into a male's outfit, my long raven hair now cut down. Barely falling past my ears. Staring at my male version in the mirror, I'm about to drink the bane when my door creaks open. It gets me flinching a little and I sharply tuck the bottle in my pocket before turning to see it's the Luna, my mother.
I'm not surprised to see her in my room this morning. I expect her. But she on the other hand doesn't hide the shock on her face as she beholds my appearance.
"Rox…"
"I'm entering into Garrick." I don't let her finish before I satisfy her curiosity. I have no reason to hide it from her.
As expected she's taken aback by shock. Her brow creases, her face crunches in utter astonishment.
She opens her mouth to speak but I don't let her finish. I'm in haste. "I didn't tell you this to talk me out of this. I only thought you deserve to know so when I go missing in a couple of hours from now, you won't get worried."
But of course, I don't expect she will just let me off the hook like that. As soon as she regains herself, she begins to counsel me. She repeats all what Krystal said to me about running away from my father's command. Except that she is more scared than Krystal. Apparently it's the reason she's here. To talk me into marrying Alpha Simeon, not because she's in support of it but for the sake of what Cyrus will do to me if I disobey him.
But she isn't as scared of that as my decision to venture into Garrick in the form of a boy.
Genuinely scared for my safety, she swings the discussion to that of Ronan.
My entire muscles clench hard as I try to fight back the memory of my brother.
"You know what happened to Ronan in that place." My mother's voice wobbles slightly, betrayed by the stern mask she's trying to pull.
Moments ago when I was staring at my male self in the mirror, it had taken all of me to deaden the thoughts of Ronan.
But not now. That very day Ronan came back from Garrick looking battered, takes center stage in my memory. He had so many deep and gore bruises, one could even see some of his bones.
He looked like he was devoured by beasts. Ronan was a fragile prince then who never really fit into the royal line.
He never wanted to be an Alpha, yet because of my father's lust for power, he forced Ronan into a place like Garrick knowing he could barely survive it. And when Ronan came back looking half dead, Cyrus was so enraged at him and forced him back there and that was the last of him.
Reminiscing on all of it, my rage for my father intensifies. "Whatever happened to Ronan in Garrick was father's fault."
"I know right. But that isn't the issue now. You are going into the place where your brother was tortured to his death. If you suddenly appear there with Ronan's resemblance, you'll easily get caught."
"Ronan isn't dead." Though everyone in the academy claimed that Ronan escaped. But my mother prefers to deem him dead since he has been missing for far too long.
"And no one will suspect I'm a girl since I'm entering into Garrick as Ronan."
While my lips tug up in a smirk, my mother's face goes sour.
Yeah, Ronan's bullies are about to welcome Ronan back to the academy in the form of me!