The lost sunshine

Chapter 10

Next day

Julian's PoV

The decision had already been made before I told anyone. I'd signed up for the research team in secret, and when I finally confessed it over dinner, my parents surprised me by approving without argument. Maybe they sensed what I wouldn't say aloud: this was the best thing for all of us.

I saw them arrive together the next morning.

She looked exhausted—dark circles under her eyes, hair pulled back in a careless bun—but when she spotted me, she smiled. That dazzling, heart-stopping smile that had haunted me for months. God knows I wanted to turn around, take a detour through the library, anywhere to avoid watching them walk toward me hand in hand. But wouldn't that make me look guilty? As if I had something to hide.

"Juls!" Her voice cut through the morning chatter. She waved enthusiastically, her other hand still wrapped around his.

I forced a smile. "Hey."

The sigh escaped before I could stop it. They were coming toward me now, and as they drew closer, I noticed the details I'd rather not have seen: the careful makeup covering her fatigue, the faint purple marks on her neck that no amount of concealer could fully hide.

Damn you, Zeyan. You really took advantage of her innocence.

The anger rose hot and sudden in my chest. I clenched my fists at my sides, nails digging into my palms until I could think clearly again. When they reached me, I kept my voice gentle, steady.

"Sar, can you go up first? I need to talk to Zi alone, okay?"

Her smile faltered. She glanced between us, hesitation flickering across her features, but she nodded. "Okay... I'll see you both in class."

She walked away, and I waited until she disappeared through the school doors before I grabbed Zeyan's arm and yanked him toward the secluded corner near the old gymnasium. The moment we were out of earshot, I snapped.

My fist connected with his jaw before either of us could speak. He staggered back, shock widening his eyes, then pure fury replaced it. I grabbed his collar, pulling him close enough to smell his cologne—her favorite.

"Damn you, Zeyan!" My voice cracked with rage. "You really took advantage of her innocence! Are you even sure you're going to be responsible for her?!"

He shoved me off so hard I nearly fell. Before I could recover, his fist slammed into my cheek. Pain exploded across my face, but I barely registered it.

"What is it to you?!" he yelled, chest heaving. "Are you jealous that she chose me? Don't think I didn't notice last night—you tried to separate us. And yes, I'll take full responsibility for her." He stepped closer, eyes blazing. "We both know what we're doing. We don't need your meddling."

I stared at him, breathing hard. He was right. I didn't have the right to meddle in their relationship. But I couldn't just stand aside and watch, could I? Yes, my jealousy wasn't enough to justify this confrontation. But deep down, beneath the anger and the possessiveness, there was something worse: fear.

What if he was just toying with her? What if he'd break her heart and walk away like it meant nothing?

I guess I really shouldn't have interfered. But it was too late for regrets.

"Then make sure you do," I said, my voice quieter now, rough with exhaustion. "You know her life just like I do. If you're just toying with her, please end it now. I can't bear to see her hoping for something impossible."

I pushed myself up from the ground, wiping blood from my split lip. "And I can't bear to lose our friendship. But since you two think you know what you're doing..." I met his gaze, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. "Then I wish you both happiness."

I turned to walk away, but his hand landed on my shoulder. I froze.

"I know you have feelings for her too," he said quietly. "And I know you're just concerned. But rest assured—I will never do anything that will hurt her."

I closed my eyes for a moment, then nodded. "Then I'm counting on you."

I patted his shoulder, the gesture feeling hollow even as I made it. Deep inside, I was still bleeding. But both of them were important to me, and I had to accept that. I couldn't do anything about it now.

We walked back side by side, two friends with bruised faces and a secret between us.

Sarwa's POV

I was nervous. Why did they need to talk privately? My mind raced with possibilities—were they fighting over me? Had Julian told Zeyan something about last night? But I couldn't follow them. That would be disrespectful, an invasion of their privacy.

So I waited anxiously in the classroom, pacing by the window until I saw them approaching.

I ran to meet them at the door and stopped short. Both of their faces were swollen, Julian's lip split and bleeding, Zeyan's cheek already turning purple.

"Did you two fight?" I asked, my voice trembling.

Julian shook his head quickly. "No, we just accidentally bumped into each other."

I could tell he was lying. The way he wouldn't meet my eyes, the slight tremor in his hands—but I didn't dare ask further. Whatever had happened between them, they clearly didn't want me to know.

During class, I kept observing them from the corner of my eye. But they were both focused on the lesson, taking notes, answering questions when called upon. Nothing seemed different. So I stopped minding it. Maybe I was just overthinking things.

The day ended without us talking like before. There was a distance between us now, subtle but undeniable. Julian kept his gaze forward, Zeyan walked slightly ahead, and I trailed behind, feeling like a stranger in my own friendship.

As we reached home, I couldn't take it anymore. The silence had grown too heavy, too suffocating.

"Hey! What's with you and Julian?" I asked Zeyan as soon as we stepped inside, my voice sharp with annoyance.

"Nothing," he answered, too quickly.

"Really?" I crossed my arms. "I felt there was something going on between you two earlier."

"You're overthinking it." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "What do you want for dinner? I'll cook for you."

"Anything will do," I muttered, still unconvinced.

"Okay, go change first," he said gently, reaching out to touch my arm.

I nodded and headed to my room, but as soon as the door closed behind me, I pulled out my phone and called Julian.

"Juls, is there something between you and Zi?" I asked the moment he picked up.

There was a pause on the other end, long enough to make my stomach clench.

"Nothing," he finally responded. His voice sounded tired, distant. "I just hope you two will be happy together. And if he ever does something that wrongs you, just tell me, okay?"

"Okay..." I hesitated, then asked again,

"But Julian, are you sure—"

"Always take care of yourself, Sar." His voice softened, and something in his tone made my chest tighten. "I care for you, and I'll always be here for you. Remember that."

Another pause. Then, quieter: "Gotta hang up."

"Wait, Julian, I—"

The call ended.

I stared at the phone, my heart pounding.

Why did I have a feeling like he was saying goodbye?

I shook my head, pushing the thought away. Maybe he just said it casually. He'd been stressed lately, dealing with his parents, the research team... I was probably reading too much into it.

I didn't pay more attention to it.

Little did I know that would be our last conversation—and the last day I would see Julian.

One Week Later

The news hit me like a punch to the gut.

Julian had moved out. Just packed his bags and left without telling anyone. Even his parents didn't know where he was—only that he'd joined some research team and disappeared.

I called his number over and over, but it went straight to voicemail. I messaged him, begged him to at least tell me he was safe, but there was no response.

Though I was still concerned about him—worried sick, some nights—gradually, the shared moments with Zeyan made me feel at ease. He was always there, always attentive, always making sure I was okay.

Everything with Zeyan felt euphoric and ethereal, like floating on clouds.

Everything I had longed for before was being given to me by him. Every loneliness and shallowness in my heart started to fill with his love.

But sometimes, late at night, I'd think about Julian's last words to me.

Always take care of yourself, Sar. I care for you, and I'll always be here for you.

And I'd wonder: if he meant it, why did he leave?