The End

Chapter four

Three days passed. I haven't seen Richard in class yet. I'm so restless. I really want to see it.

The next morning, as usual I always came earlier than the others. I walked into the classroom, hoping to see Richard in class today.

When I entered the classroom..

“Jeslyn.”

That voice, I thought. I turned to the corner of the classroom. Richard. He stood up and walked briskly towards me. A second later, I was in his arms. I was confused and surprised, but I'm glad to see it.

"Nice to see you."

He was silent for a few moments.

"I'm scared..." he said. "Jeslyn I'm so scared. I don't like being in the hospital. I'm afraid when I close my eyes, I won't be able to open them again. I'm scared... afraid that I won't be able to see you again!”

I felt the water seep through my sleeve.

"Richard..don't cry. Your tears are heart-wrenching..”

“Sorry. But I'm really scared. So scared, Jess! I'm afraid to live day by day."

Richard let go of his arm. I looked at his face which radiated sadness and fear very clearly.

I protested to God, “Lord, why did you have to give him this ordeal? He's still very young. Can't you let him live longer, at least to spend his teenage years with his friends. God, why don't you just give this disease to the envious people and to the uncivilized criminals in this country?! Why should Richard..."

I took a tissue from my skirt pocket, and wiped her tears. I asked him to sit down.

"Richard, please don't cry anymore."

"I'm such a crybaby, aren't I? Even though I'm a man, but a crybaby half dead.. But, wasn't I already half dead?..”

“No?! That is not what I mean?! If I were in your position, maybe I would do the same, cry and cry. And maybe more than this. I would probably shut myself away, away from the people around me. Rebellion against God. Regret why I have to live when it will end like this. And maybe I'll find a way to hasten your death.

But.. But you are different. If I'm being honest, I really admire you.. I admire your courage, even though you're actually scared.

Many people, knowing that their life will not be long, they will really enjoy it but in the wrong way. But you are different, very different…”

He was silent. His eyes looked at me.

“But.. you know, a few days ago, my mind finally opened.. I gave up on the book of life which is in God's hands. But that doesn't mean I feel lost. I will keep smiling, enjoy the rest of my life. Although it's actually not easy to live it without tears.

But tears indicate that I'm just an ordinary person, who has a fear of the word 'death'.” Pause for a moment.

“I thought, maybe this has all been recorded as the path of my life. Now maybe He is rereading it, to make some edits, and maybe now He is reading the final chapters of His novel. And that's the chapter I'm currently working on.

And now, I can only wait for the word The End of the novel.”

(His speech is very mature.. I believe, he must be strong!..) I really like him.

“And one more thing, Jess! At first I wasn't as good as you thought? To be honest a few days ago I thought about ending my life. However, there's something holding me back.. To be precise, there's someone that makes me unable to do it..”

“Really?! May I find out?" I'm glad to know that someone has motivated him. I'm happy, even though later that person is not me.

"He's in front of me .." he said as he looked at me with a gentle smile.

Like being struck, in an instant my heart beats, rumbling like waves. I could hardly believe what he said, but I was so happy.

And so fast, I can't help but escape Richard's warm kiss that lands on my forehead.