Show Me How

Chapter 3- 1 hour and 21 minutes

1 hour and 21 minutes. 

I had landed 1 hour and 21 minutes ago, however, no sight of Richard or his family was seen. I had his number and he had texted me to stay put and wait for him. Sighing, I close the book I finished reading. It was a crime novel; one I had already solved after reading the first few chapters, but I still read it. 

“Here, it’s on the house.” 

Smiling, she places a cupcake in front of me before leaving. Looking at it I notice the flavor. Chocolate chip cupcake. My mother’s favorite. I never understood when people would say stuff like, that when somebody dies you start to see things which reminds you about them. 

Now I do.

Leaving a 20-dollar tip I leave the cupcake. Grabbing my bag and suitcase, I quickly make my way out of the busy airport. For someone so punctual as Richard, it should be shocking that the man can’t even come on time to pick up his daughter from the airport. Then again, I’m not very high on the very short list of his priorities. 

Feeling a shoulder bump into me, I quickly hold onto my suitcase to gain back my balance. “Merde! Watch where you are going!” I yell however the guy barely glances back at me as he disappears in the crowd. 

If there was one thing I was sure of was that no matter where I traveled in the world, New York will always be the city that never sleeps. On top of that, the streets here were busy. Like super busy. Tall buildings and people walking in quick paces with their phone glued between their chin and shoulder. It makes sense why Richard moved here. Like the city, he was a busy man.

After several attempts to catch a cab, I finally managed to get one. Just as I am to open the door, I hear the familiar deep voice. 

“Alexandria?” 

 Turning around at the mention of my full name, I look to see Richard standing there with a shock on his face. He had aged. His hair had some grey strands, a lot less than, and he looked older around the eyes, however, he still looked fit and professional in his suit and black polished shoes. 

4 years. 4 f*****g years.

Standing there like a deer caught in the red light, I watch him watch me. One part of me wanted to tear my eyes apart from him and proceed to punch him straight in the jaw. The other part wanted to ignore him like air and enter the cab, and the childish part of me wanted to hug him. 

Looking at me up and down, I can’t make out his impression of me. Maybe he’s pleased with what he is seeing? Or disappointed? Out of those two, the latter seemed more likely. 

As if sensing the awkwardness his wife steps forward with a welcoming smile. “Look at you! Welcome back, dear.” Said Jessica with a big smile and held me by my shoulder as she gave me air kisses as I stood there still. 

Her blonde hair was in a delicate bun, and she was wearing a white blouse and pink skirt with a coat. I didn’t know her very well besides that she married my father 6 months after the divorce. Shocking right. Imagine how shocking it was to hear that she had a son from a previous marriage at the same age as me.

Couldn't be there to raise his child, but had no issue raising someone else. 

With no one saying anything, she claps her hand. “How about you and I go to the car and Richard takes care of the bags.” Breaking off the eye contact I clench my jaw and scoff. 

I guess he got nothing to say. Grabbing my gym bag l leave the suitcase for him to take.  “Richard can take care of- " 

“No need.” Walking silently with Jessica, I glance at her to see her staring at me. Blushing she points to the car.  “Here it is. You can sit in the front or the back, the choice is yours.” 

Raising my brow at her smile I watch her smile falter. Without a word, I open the back and take the window seat. Hearing the click of two doors opening and closing, both Jessica and Richard enter the car. As the car starts moving, I watch the city lights. 

“How have you been holding up sweetie? The plane ride from France must have tired you out.” Taking my eyes off the window I look at Jessica. I could say I was floating.

Floating between feeling and not feeling. Too caught to catch anything happening in the present that I find myself lost. Lost of time, loss of words, and lost passion. But that would include talking to her. Something I had no interest in. So I settle with my most used answer.

"Fine." 

As Richard enters the car I find myself returning to gaze at the city lights. "I saw you were outside. Were we late?" His eyes were hesitant as he glanced at me through the display window, waiting for my answer.

Raising my brow at him I turn to look at the window. “1 hour and 21 minutes.”

“What?”

Closing my eyes, I let out an irritated sigh at the confusion in his voice. “You asked if you guys were late. By the time 1 hour and 21 minutes passed, I was too tired to wait on you guys, which is why I was taking a cab. Any more questions?”

Looking both at them, Jessica frowned while Richard nodded his head silently and focused on driving. Taking their silence as a no, I take my headset and play a random playlist. After 30 minutes of awkward silence, we finally start to pull up in a white picket fenced neighborhood with kids playing. The clock was only 5 PM, but even then, my eyes were dropping forward in exhaustion.

“Here we are. Home sweet home, right?” Ignoring the happy tone Jessica was trying to settle, I step out of the car and slam the door shut. Just as I walk to the back to grab my bags, Richard stands there with his hand in my suitcase. Probably with the same idea. 

“Sorry, I thought I could help you carry that.” He didn’t even look me in his eyes as he said that and looked at the air above me. 

Shaking my head, I grab the suitcase and ignore him as I brush his shoulder walking past him. Jessica was already standing in front of a white picket fenced house and rose bushes around. Following her inside I look at the interior with an indifferent face. Just like I predicted, everything looks the same as before. Besides the walls which were now a light grey as opposed to the blue, new decorations and a few furniture - everything looked exactly like it did 6 years ago. 

“Here it is. Which reminds me, you are going to love your room,  I had it specially decorated for you." Grabbing my hands, she leads me up the stairs to one of the doors. Opening it up I look at it with a raised eyebrow. 

The walls were painted in a dark red color, and a few minimalistic paintings hung over the bed and the desk. Walking up to the desk I let my fingers run on the frame of the picture sitting. Hadn’t it been for the fact that I remember taking this picture I would have ignored it Looking at it I stare back at 12 years old myself in a white tulle standing on the stage in front of a crowd.  Hadn’t it been for the fact that I remember that day so vividly I would have just mistaken the girl in the photo for someone else. 

Someone innocent and naive. Someone easily hurt. Thankfully I learned quickly that no matter how much you try to keep people in your life, you have to live your own life unapologetically.

"Remember when you used to dance at the studio by the coffee shop? They are still open and I believe even some of your childhood friends still go there.”

“Yeah well, I don't dance anymore,” I say and turn the book upside down so the ballerina is facing downwards. 

“Oh.” She said and cleared her voice awkwardly. Turning around I watched her cross her arms as she spoke in a soft tone. “Well I still think the room seems a bit empty so maybe you, me, and your father could go do some bedroom shopping then? Buy some decorations, equipment, books, clothes, and maybe posters. Make this room feel like your own.”

“Sure.” Nope. The last thing I want to do is to turn this 1-year thing into a permanent idea. 

“Great, if you are hungry-“

“I am pretty tired from the flight and all. Is it cool if I just see you guys in the morning?” After that awkward car ride, the last thing I want to do is go through dinner answering questions and engaging in conversations. 

Interrupting her I watch her smile tightly and nod. “Sure, you have your bathroom to the left. It's stocked with towels, toothbrushes, and such.”

With that, she silently closes the door with a click. Heaving I sigh I lay down on the bed with my arms splayed and legs hanging. I had played the scenario of me seeing him many times on the plane ride. In one of them, he is scolding me about the piercings and asking if I have tattoos too. Even going as far as asking if I am taking drugs. In another scenario, I am stepping out of the boarding area, and there he is standing with his whole family. Awkward hellos are exchanged but besides that, no one is cursing each other out. 

Then there is the childish one. 

The unrealistic one. 

The one I dreamed of when I was a kid. 

The one where he is calling me by a nickname, and I turn around running into his arm. He is spinning me around telling me about how much he misses me and was sorry for never reaching out earlier. How he had arrived an hour early to make sure he was here on time. That he couldn’t wait to spend the entire day with me. 

The stupid scenario. 

The unlikely scenario. 

So not going to happen-scenario, because I and Richard were nothing but two strangers sharing DNA.  

As I close my eyes, I can’t help the image replying over and over in my head. The look of sheer shock on his face. Staring at me like I was some alien. I can’t blame him. After all, I am a different person from the one 6 years ago.  I was no longer wearing my One Direction t-shirt with rollerblades and hair in cornrows. I was taller now, older, and most definitely grown out of my boyband phase. And while he never said it, I knew what he thought, what he saw.

A lowlife with no ambitions, dreams, or future. 

Maybe it was the pierced ears, tongue, and my laid back clothing that gave it away. Sure there is more to me than the exterior, but when it comes to Richard Miller there is no point in trying to prove him wrong.  

Who knows, maybe the old man is right.