Show Me How

Chapter 4- Empty

“Which is when I told him that this isn't how we do things.” 

Taking a sip of the water I restrain myself from rolling my eyes at my father’s attempts at jokes. We were eating dinner with the Thompsons - a family friend who my mother who she went to uni with. It was only at rare moments like this I got to see both her and dad in the same room. Even then it was even more rarely than guests weren't as well attending.

“Now I heard Noah and Bailey go to the same school. Isn’t that thrilling?” Glancing at Mrs. Thompson I looked in front of me where Bailey was sitting across from me. 

A freshman who was busy scrolling through her phone to even pay attention to the conversation. Not that I can blame her. Hearing them discuss work, gossip and politics quickly become boring. 

“Yes. Noah is attending his last year at Eastwood Academy this year.” Says mother which both of the adults hums at. “Isn’t that exciting Bailey?”

Not bothering to look up from her phone she nods. That type of behavior from me at the table with guests would have brought my mother a heart attack. However, she didn’t say anything and only silently glared at the young girl's phone when no one was looking. As if doing so would make it disappear or make her put it down. 

“Perhaps you would like to take Mrs. And Mr.Thompson's daughter under your wing Noah?” Says my mother as all eyes turn to me. 

Glancing at the girl I almost feel inspired to grab my phone and join her in whatever she is doing. However, I knew that I couldn't do that. Not in front of our guests, and especially not in front of my parents. 

“Of course Mrs. and Mr. Thompson.” I smile reassuringly. “I am more than happy to make sure Bailey’s stay at Eastwood will be good.” 

“What a sweet boy.” Glancing at my mother I see her give me a nod. Both of my parents aren’t the ones to express their emotions openly, especially in front of others in the presence. However, inside the closed-door, my mother could be the warmest person and my father the kindest. 

If they only didn’t bring their work to the home all the time. 

“Now how is Samuel? It has been so long since I have seen the young man.” Asks Mr.Thompson. Resisting to roll my eyes I prepare myself to listen to them speaking about him for the rest of dinner.

Chuckling my mom deeps dive as she starts speaking. Zoning out I didn't realize that they were speaking to me before dad nudged me slightly. Shaking my head I look up to see all eyes on me. 

“Apologies, it seemed like I was gone for a moment.” Looking at my mom she smiles kindly and gestures to Mr.Thompson. “ David asked you for your college plans.”

“You are probably planning to attend university, and straight into work- Just like your mother and brother.” Said Mr. Thompson which both my parents beamed as they waited for my answer.

When my father and mother met they were both attending college. Mom was studying business and father was taking STEM-classes. And just like them, my brother was now taking business with a minor in chemistry. And while my parents want the best for me and to choose something I am passionate about, it has not come unnoticed to me that my parents have been hinting to me to choose something similar. To go to college to choose something prestigious such as law, business, or medicine.

And as to what I want...I don't know. 

The only thing I have ever known is being told what to do. Get straight A, be respectful, punctual, and well mannered. Being a professor like dad or working at an insurance company as my mom. 

Maybe I want to be a truck driver, doctor, firefighter, lacemaker, mechanic, or a tattoo artist. Maybe I want to travel around the world and blog about it. Or perhaps I want to be a bartender and mixing people drinks while listening to people sob about their dog and ex. 

Maybe I don't know... After all, I had never explored the possibility to choose something out of what is expected of me.

“College it is but here is two years until he graduates. He still has time to find out what he wants to do.” Says father and gives me a small smile which I return. 

.  

As dinner quickly wraps up my mother stands next to me as the Thompson put on their coats. “You impressed Thompson, impressing considering how uneven you brushed your hair.”Chuckling, I turn to my mother as she starts smoothing down my hair.  

“Better?” Smiling satisfied, she nods her head. “Much better.” and squeezes my shoulder before looking over at the Thompsons. “Now be good and go and say your goodbyes.”

With that, she walks away. Off to either drink tea while working or work without tea. Plastering a smile I watch the Hamptons drive off. As their car vanishes out of my sight and the estate the smile on my face quickly wither away. With my shoulder slumped I turn around to walk back to my room, except I am stopped by dad.

“Seems like I startled you there.” Smiling softly he takes me by the shoulder and leads me to the parlor. Sinking onto the black cushion he taps on the seat next to him.

“Just a little. How are you, dad?” Taking a seat next to him I watch him breathe out as he loosens his tie. 

Despite their similarities, my father is much more relaxed and can manage a day or two without work. Much longer than what I can say about my mother. Nonetheless, my father is a kind man. He might look stoic, but as soon as you spark a conversation with him, he will make you smile and laugh.

“Aren’t I supposed to ask you that?” Furrowing my brow I look at him confused. “Why?” 

“I don’t know about your generation, but seeing the little girl on her phone all dinner was frustrating me. To think the Thompson were bragging about their kids' manners when I spoke with them a few weeks back.” 

Letting out a relieved sigh I cover it with a chuckle. For some reason, I was worried that he was referring to something. Not that anything has happened, but the sudden question of how I am doing surprised me. Any personal question from them was unusual and foreign to me.

 “Yes. Other than that I’ll assume mom is off to sealing another deal?” Grinning dad nods his head. “It is your mother we are talking about.” Slapping my back softly he looks at the clock on his wrist. 

“Well look at the time. I better get some rest, early morning.” Standing up he squeezes my shoulder. “Make sure to get some sleep will you?” Nodding I watch him walk away. Waiting for a few moments I stand up and walk up the stairs to my room. 

Closing the door to my bedroom I walk to the bathroom. Looking at the reflection of myself in the mirror, I can’t help grimacing. I was wearing black straight-legged pants with a navy button-up.

Dragging my jet-black hair back I look at my face more closely. I had my father’s slight curl pattern in my hair, dimples, dark brown eyes, and a slight tan. I guess despite both of my parents being Taiwanese I inherit my mother’s light eyes and dimples. Proving even further that I inherited my mother’s face and eye for details, but my father’s wit and love for music.  

Stripping off my clothes I step into the shower and start the cold water. Feeling the ice colder water pierce my skin, I let out a long sigh and let my headrest on the shower wall. For someone with everything you need in life, I felt this sense of loneliness in my life.

I have a roof over my head, warm food, a group of close friends, and on top of that, I am what you would call popular or well-liked at school. I am financially stable and have a good future ahead of me. It would be ungrateful of me to want more than what I have received. 

Then why am I not happy? Why do I feel so empty?

Like I am floating on the water except I don’t feel the water. I can see it, touch it, 

 Hell, even drink it.

Yet I don’t feel like I am floating but instead just...Existing.

I am right there in the moment, yet my mind is not there.

Wrapping myself in my towel I take my clothes on the floor and place them in the laundry bin. Stepping out of the bathroom I walk over to my closet and grab a pair of basketball shorts. Each wall I faced either had posters or album covers hanging on the white walls. Turning off the light I fall onto the bed with a sigh. Closing my eyes I sleep to yet another sleepless night.