The Moon that Shatters the Heart

Chapter Six

Sutton

Ronnie finds me in my room, lying in bed and crying into Ani’s hoodie. Days have gone by since I heard Ani’s voice. His pleas echo in my head in a constant loop… but it’s the hoodie that breaks me. I’ve been wearing it every night to bed, not wanting to sleep without it, ever. The problem is that his scent has faded.

“Hey, babe. What’s goin’ on with you?” Ronnie lays down behind me and wraps her arms around my waist, spooning me closer to her.

“I’m okay,” I sniff into the hoodie.

“No, you’re not. I’m here for you. Please tell me,” she begs. I try to calm my breathing. “It has to do with your mate, doesn’t it?”

I nod as the tears flow faster and harder. Keeping all these feelings bottled up is getting to me. The only way to feel better is to let it all out and although I think I’m not ready, I tell her everything. As though, she is my confessor and I confide in her all the wrong I’ve done. All the wrong Ani has done to me.

“I’m so broken. So, confused. But I love him so much.”

“Then why are you here?” she questions. I roll over to face her, needing to see if she’s seriously asking that question. She wipes the tears from my eyes, hers just as watery as mine.

“I told you.” I sit up from the bed, crossing my legs underneath me. “He rejected me. He might’ve stopped before he finished rejecting me, but the intention was there. I had always planned to return to this pack.” I throw my palms up for emphasis.

“No, why are you still here?” She, too, sits up and wraps her arms around her knees, bringing them to her chest. “We don’t always get what we want and sometimes it works out for the better. He’s clearly in love with you and it seems he’s always been. It sounds like he’s as broken as you.” Ronnie’s tears escape from her eyes as she says the words. “Finding your mate is amazing, and it sucks that it didn’t work out for you the way you wanted, but you two can still fix it. There are others who can’t.”

“Ronnie?”

“My mother was rejected, Sutton. I saw what it had done to her. You need to go back to your mate,” she advises as she pulls me in to kiss me on the lips and then holds me against her chest, to let me cry it out.

***

Ronnie and I, plus three other guys, Bear, Beau, and Jaxon, all drive down to Black Rock. It’s a small wolf pack on the Mexican border buried deep into illegal doings. Laiken sent us down to pick up a prisoner who had information that Laiken needed. He doesn’t give us more information than that.

When we arrive, we meet with a group of people in front of the large manor-like pack house. The moment we step out of the car, Beau immediately runs towards a short, dark-haired female and pins her to the wall. “Mate.” Beau says to her.

Everyone stares in bewilderment. The female is the daughter of their Gamma, third in command, and is there to greet us since the Alpha could not greet us upon arrival.

With the excitement of matehood, we’re invited to stay for dinner while the newfound couple makes their arrangements. Beau and Bear join her family for dinner, while Jaxon, Ronnie, and I decide to eat in Black Rock’s dining hall with the rest of the pack.

A tall, bulky, Hispanic man with long dark hair up in a bun, and covered in tattoos, walks into the dining area. Ronnie lifts her nose up in the air before growling, “Mate.”

“Who?” I ask, searching the room. Ronnie spots him before he can find her, not taking his eyes off him.

“Him.” She nods in his direction and stands up, hesitantly making her way to him. His dark eyes meet hers and runs, meeting her halfway. They were complete opposites. She is tiny at five-foot-two, has short blond hair, and hazel-green eyes, compared to his six-foot height and body like a wrestler.

His form swallows her as he wraps his body around hers. He lifts her up and clashes his lips on hers before ever saying a word. She reciprocates. While his facial expression reads pure excitement, hers is unreadable.

“Hi!” she says after he releases her mouth.

“Hola güerita*,” he greets her while the room erupts in cheers (Hello, little blond girl*). “What’s your name, beautiful?”

“Ronnie. It’s short for Veronica. Yours?” she answers, still in his arms.

“Nicolas,” he responds, and immediately, I recognize his name as the Alpha of Black Rock.

“This is going to be interesting,” she says to him and he puts her down.

Nicolas leads her out of the dining hall, away from prying ear - like mine - leaving Jaxon and me on our own. His eyes land on me and we both just stare at each other. We haven’t said a word the entire time we’ve been here. But at this moment, the silence is loud and clear. Everyone around us is finding their mates, while we’re here on our own.

“Do you have a mate?” I ask him.

“No. You?” he inquires, and I don’t know how to answer the question. Ani is my mate. I have a mate.

“I do,” I admit for the first time to someone I don’t know. He raises his brow at me, confused as I’m sure my hookup with Laiken isn’t a secret. “It’s complicated.”

He huffs then hunches over his food and scoops it into his mouth. I return my attention to the plate in front of me, staring at it like it has the answers I seek.

His beta’s mate, Ashley, leads me to a guest room for the night. I didn’t pack any clothes, nor did Ronnie, but Nicolas was adamant about Ronnie staying the night. Ronnie joins me as we walk to my room, finally having a moment to ourselves.

“So, what did you guys talk about?” I go straight to the questions.

“We made out,” she giggles for a second, before crunching up her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“I guess I always thought I was going to be mated to a girl. I mean, I’ve always been bisexual. I just didn’t really think that it would be a guy,” she confides to me. I sit on the bed, crossing my legs. My fingers pinch my lip as I process her confession.

“So… are you happy? Or upset?”

“I’m happy. He’s very handsome and definitely my type of guy. I’m just surprised that he’s an Alpha. That’s a hard pill to swallow. Look at me, Sut… I’m not a Luna. I don’t even have rank blood as far as I know.” She paces back and forth in front of me. Am I Luna material?

“I think you’ll make the perfect Luna. If anyone isn’t Luna material, it’s me. I abandoned my Alpha s***h mate and my pack,” I breathe out a chuckle, trying to lighten up the mood.

“Don’t say that, Sutton. You’re more Luna than me. You even have Laiken wrapped around your finger.” She sits next to me, hugging me. A knock at my door ends our conversation. I open the door and Nicolas is waiting outside for Ronnie.

The next day, Alpha Nicolas follows us back to our pack in a separate SUV with Ronnie in the passenger seat, leaving me in the car with the prisoner and Jaxon.

Apparently, during last night’s dinner with Beau and his mate’s family, Bear also found his mate. Beau’s mate’s sister. While I’m trying to be happy for them, I’m even more depressed.

***

It’s Oscar’s birthday today, July twentieth. I haven’t sent him a text to wish him a happy one. I couldn’t.

Ronnie has packed up all her stuff, and now I’m standing on the porch waving as she and Alpha Nicolas drive away. Ronnie means a lot to me. Today is just a hard day all around.

She only lived here for a week and a half, but she was here all the time for the last six weeks. She helped me not feel so alone. So empty. It’s odd how big of a role she played in my life in the last month and a half.

Now, here I am in my empty home, feeling lonelier than when I got here.

By the end of the night, I’m staring at the letters again and wearing another one of his hoodies, the one with his favorite band’s logo on it. In my hand is the letter from that box, revealing so much about himself.

He wants to be with me. I want to be with him.

Why am I so stupid? Why?

I had asked him not to call me and he has not. But at this moment, I want to hear his voice. I look over the other letters and begin to rip open the envelope labeled with the number one, only I stop myself.

I still need to do a lot of healing.

Ani is all I think about. All these wolves finding their mates, they have my heart melting and hurting. I want that and I want that with Ani.

I walk outside onto the porch and look through my telescope, staring off into the night sky. The moon was bright and full on this summer night.

***

I am way too excited about this; way more than I should be.

I’m making a special trip to San Antonio and Ronnie is meeting me there. It’s only been five days since I saw her, but I miss her. However, it’s not what has me smiling. I’m on a hunt for the perfect pair of underwear to wear and send to Ani.

I’ve thought of many scenarios on how to fix things with him. I thought about calling him. About driving to Belvieu Creek and never leaving. But none of them seem right. Not after all the damage we’ve caused each other. The only one that did is sending him a package with a few things, my underwear, and a letter to him.

We walk straight to the store I am looking for. I find the sexiest pair of lacy boy short panties in that store that holds more secrets than I am prepared for. Ronnie, on the other hand, buys anything and everything in her size from what I witness.

It’s like rubbing salt on a wound, but I am happy for her.

“Wanna get lunch? I’m starving,” Ronnie offers as we walk out of the store and walk towards the food court. “We can walk out to the Riverwalk and eat at one of the restaurants out there.”

The closer we get to the food court the more my stomach flutters and my heart pounds. The big bright windows looking out onto the river light up the mall and the smell of food usually has my mouth watering.

Except, the overpowering smell of oranges that have fallen from a tree and left out in the rain wafts around me.

Ani. I stop in my tracks and look around the open space, searching for his powerful presence.

“Sutton, don’t look, but there’s a wolf watching us from a table in front of the windows,” Ronnie comments, completely unaware that he is who I’m looking for. Her guards stand erect, ready to protect their Luna as Ani gets up from his seat.

His jeans hug him perfectly. His shirt is almost too tight around the chest. He’s bigger than I remember. However, it’s his presence that has me drawn to him. My heart is beating me into a frenzy, taking my breath away. Goosebumps grace my flesh, but I’m numb to all of it.

“Ani,” I say his name, and he smirks. He’s still too far away from me, but he heard me call him by the nickname I gave him.

“Ani? Like your mate?” Ronnie inquires. I see her in my peripheral waiting for me to confirm. I only nod my head as my attention remains on the godly man now ten feet from me. She grabs my wrists, forcing me to face her, and when I meet her hazel-green eyes, I see the question in them before she voices it.

“I’m okay. Raincheck on the lunch?” my surprise evident in my voice.

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure.” I smile at her, giving her a soft nod toward the door. “I need to talk to him.”

“Sutton,” his baritone voice calls to me, and it’s like music to my ears. I take the deep breath my lungs beg for.

“Ani,” I bite my lip. I turn to Ronnie, and she only nods before hugging me and drawing my lips to hers, playfully, like she always does. Ani growls at the sight. Luckily, Ronnie has her mark on display. Doesn’t stop her guards from acting defensively. She waves at me, and I wave back. Then I give Ani my undivided attention.

Neither of us says anything, we just stand in the middle of the mall, staring at one another. People step around us, the place packed with tourists. I look towards the glass doors leading out to the busy Riverwalk. There isn’t any privacy out there either.

I don’t think he had anything planned on the chance that I gave him the time. Instead, I sigh and break the silence. “Is there somewhere you want to talk? This place is busy.”

“Yeah,” he says, breaking the trance he is in. “No.”

“No?” I squint my eyes at him as I thin my lips. I’ve never seen Ani so lost for words. “Did you know I was going to be here?”

“Lauren told me. I just didn’t expect you to not put up a fight.” He rubs the back of his neck nervously.

“I… I mean, you drove out here and sat waiting for me at the food court, not knowing whether I would come in this direction. Why would I not talk to you?” I tilt my head.

“It’s River Center. Everyone comes to see the Riverwalk.” He tsks to himself and looks around the busy stores and back out to the river. “I have a hotel room down the road.”

“Okay. Lead the way.”