The Moon that Shatters the Heart

Chapter One

Sutton

How do you know something is a mistake before ever making it? Mistakes are never made on purpose. Never intended to hurt someone, and usually they are forgivable. Usually.

After making that mistake, you wish you could go back and stop that mistake from happening.

The problem with mistakes is… you can’t control them. Nor can you fix them. You just hope you learn to not make the same mistake twice.

There lies the problem.

“You ready?” I ask David as I lead him through the gym. While everyone was signing yearbooks and keeping themselves busy with the last day of school festivities, we sneak out through the double doors, to secure the perfect spot to make-out and be seen doing it.

“Yeah,” he hesitates, his nervousness is evident in his voice.

“Chill. It’s just kissing,” I giggle, grabbing his sweaty hand and yanking him outside. It’s sunny, humid, and hot. The breeze hits us, causing my hair to whirl around me as we make our way towards the bleachers. “We have to be seen, otherwise it’ll be pointless.”

Today is my eighteenth birthday. It is also the last day of high school. This is a big deal for me. Why? Because I can now find my mate. The one the moon goddess chose for me. AND… I will leave this wolf pack to find him.

Goodbye, Belvieu Creek!

I have my permission ready to go and I have my old home waiting for me in Fort McKenna. While Belvieu Creek holds many memories, many I’m fond of. There are a few I want to forget. More than a few. My aunt Lauren will remain here, in my mother’s pack. I’ll go home, back to my dad’s pack. The one I was born to and raised by until my dad died almost five years ago.

The shade under the bleacher is welcomed, keeping us out of the blistering sun. David rubs the back of his head, looking everywhere but at me. I glance at my watch. We have five minutes before the bell rings. Although, it’s usually off by a minute or two.

“What’s up?”

“Noth… nothing.” His stutter is cute, he’s so nervous. I wonder if I’m his first kiss. He swallows his own spit, his blue eyes shifting to the double doors the jocks are due to come out of in a few minutes. His blond hair swoops to the side with another breeze and he tussles to fix it with a shake of his head. He’s adorable, it’s crazy he’s a junior, a linebacker on the football team and is set to be a starter next fall… and has never had a girlfriend before.

That’s where I come in.

My hand clasps the back of his neck and I pull him to me. Our lips crash together in a instant. Here we go.

This is what we do; Me and Oscar, my best friend. We made a pact two years ago to fake “date”. Oscar is gay but isn’t ready for people to know yet. So, we pretend. During parties, we were the couple who’d sneak into the bedroom to “do the deed”. Except, we never did. That was our time to just decompress or hang out.

Eventually, we learned about others who were struggling with secrets. Either a guy or a girl who never had a girlfriend or boyfriend; or didn’t want to come out yet; or had a crush on someone who they thought they couldn’t get on their own. We help them.

Oscar and I are that on-and-off couple. “Dating” others while we are off.

That was mistake number one.

Now, I have a reputation for being, for lack of a better word, a slut. I’m not fond of that, but it is what it is. I know it isn’t true. I’m still a virgin.

But I won’t turn down a make-out session.

Mistake number two is having a huge crush on someone. Someone I have no business being interested in because he was almost three years older and the next Alpha.

Anastacio Benjamin Valencia.

His name just rolls off my tongue. I call him Ani. He doesn’t like that nickname. Everyone else calls him Ash. I am the only person he allows to call him by that name. Did I mention he was Oscar’s older brother?

Ani is f*****g gorgeous. The way his chocolate brown eyes always focused on whatever held his attention. Regularly, he is reading a book or writing in his journal while listening to his headphones and bobbing his head to rock music. He always keeps his dark brown hair shaved and a hood over his head to hide the earbuds. Although it seems like he’s ignoring you, he’s not. He is always observant, his eyes searching for anything and everything.

At least he is always watching me.

He has never dated anyone. I don’t think he’s ever had a girlfriend. He was kind of a loner. He has a few friends; I thought I was included in that circle.

We like the same music, the same bands, and even some of the same books. Since my aunt Lauren is close with the family, due to them practically raising her, and I was “dating” Oscar.

Ani and I found ourselves around each other a lot. He’s six-foot-four and, because he’s the next Alpha, he works with his dad and works out a lot. So, when I accidentally forget to wear a jacket (not actually an accident) he was always the first one to offer his. They fit me big, but I loved it.

Mistake number three. Not realizing that he liked me, too.

David does not know how to kiss. Yup, I’m his first kiss. That’s my professional opinion. It’s sloppy and rough. And yet, he isn’t using enough tongue. The lack of tongue is annoying. I don’t like having to stick my whole tongue down a guy’s throat to barely even touch it. “David. Your tongue has to meet mine halfway. Massage it.”

That helped. A little.

There’s only been one person whose kiss was perfect, at least it should have been. Even if we were fighting and Ani forced it on me, it still made me weak in the knees. I blush every time I think about it. His taste forever imprinted on my mind. He’s ruined me for all other kisses, and I hate him for it.

We were in the middle of an argument. The worst argument that, since, has destroyed any chances of anything happening between us. His words were hurtful. They’re tattooed on my brain. His actions were worse. My eyes still tear up when I think about that fact.

That was the last time I spoke to Ani. I learned too much about Ani during that argument. That argument cemented my decision to leave Belvieu. I did everything to avoid him. I never want to be put in a position where the one guy I am seriously crushing on degrades me the way he did.

He hates me for dating his brother. He hates me for wanting to leave. He hates me for the reputation I gained and for never seeing his true feelings. And I hate that I never let him see mine.

That night was the last time Oscar and I “broke up”. I went to him and told him that everything was off. That I didn’t want to help anyone again. I was done dating.

The thing is, I have a soft heart.

David is the first person I helped in the last three months and is the last. Oscar begged me. He is his secret boyfriend’s younger cousin.

Yeah, I’m a sucker. Yeah, I learned nothing.

“Is this okay Sutton?” David breathlessly questions.

“Better,” I smile flirtatiously.

Where the hell is the bell? I twist my wrist behind David to read the time on my watch. It has only been a minute, and it only takes ten seconds to pause, twist my wrist, and breathe.

That’s when it hits me. His scent. The most satisfying scent. It is woodsy and citrusy. It is sweet, but not nauseatingly sweet. It is the smell of wet earth and oranges. It’s like when it rains, and I have just peeled the sweetest orange. The sweet juices dancing on my tongue as I breathe in the wet forest.

That is his scent. I know it too well. I know who it belongs to.

My heart is soaring, beating into a frenzy. My stomach somersaults as my head spins.

“MATE!” my wolf screams with glee in my head.

I drop my wrist and search for him, looking left, then right. Stepping back, needing to put some distance between David and I, only to bang my head on the bleachers above me. “Ow.” I rub my head.

When I look up again, he’s there, all six-foot-four of him, following my scent from the parking lot. His surprised brown eyes meet mine, a flash of excitement in them. Then, immediately, he replaces it with anger. He marches towards us, his chest puffed out and a look on his face that sends icy cold shivers down my spine.

“Sutton, you okay?” David’s face is etched with concern.

“s**t!” I push him away, trying to save him from my mate’s wrath.

Never did I think that my mate would be the one and only Ani.

Ani’s hand lands on David’s shoulder, yanking him back until David falls to the ground with a loud grunt. He stares up at Ani who is readying his fist, then drops it. David meets my blue eyes for a millisecond before I turn them back to Ani.

“Sutton,” Ani growls, baring his teeth at me. “You’re f*****g kidding me. You’re my mate?” His cold stare makes my heart sink to my stomach, my breath caught in my throat. His attention returns to poor David as he recovers from the assault. “Leave,” Ani orders through gritted teeth. David moves quickly, not needing to be told twice.

“No. No. No! This isn’t right. You cannot be my…”

“Mate.” He finishes my sentence. “Glad you feel the same.”

I struggle to think of anything to say. “What are you doing here?”

“Pack business,” he forces out. “This is some sick joke that the moon goddess has played. To mate me with the pack whore.”

“I am not a whore.” I can’t decide what’s worse, hearing that word from his mouth this time, or the first time he said it to me three months ago.

“You know I don’t believe you.”

“Ani, please?” I beg for him to… I don’t even know… to listen? To not insult me? Not reject me? Or to reject me?

“You’ve lost the right to call me that.”

Definitely to reject me.

“No. You’ve lost the right to call me your mate.” I grit my teeth, letting the anger take control. I point my finger, jabbing it towards his chest without touching him. I can’t do this again. I can’t be his mate. “And you definitely will not call me a name I certainly am not. I’m a virgin. I haven’t slept with anyone.”

“You think I’d believe you,” he breathes out.

I’m shaking, letting out a growl of frustration. I walk away, rubbing the heel of my palm on my forehead. “f**k! Why does it have to be you? It wasn’t supposed to be you!”

“Who was it supposed to be, Sutton?” he throws his palms up in exasperation before fisting them. “Oscar?”

“No! I was supposed to leave this pack! Leave you!”

“Sutton,” he says my name like a plea, a moment of weakness surely.

“No! You…” I start but stop myself, afraid that someone will hear. My eyes dart to the school doors, hoping no one will see us. “You said and did things you can’t take back, Ani.” My tone of voice is so low that it sounds like a threat.

“Then f*****g do it. Leave,” he closes the distance. “What good would it do for you to stay? For us to be mates?” His chest heaves in front of me. My blue eyes glare daggers into his s**t-brown ones. “I hate that I saved myself… for you.”

That confession surprised me. My pounding heart didn’t want to take the time to acknowledge it. Still, I bite back the whimper his words elicited. “Same.”

He scoffs with a roll of his eyes, clearly not changing his mind about my virtue. I fight the urge to punch him, to touch him, to throw myself at him, because the moment I touch him, I’ll feel the sparks. The electrifying sparks would course through my body and imprint themselves on my soul. I would never be the same.

“Then just do it already Ani,” I yell at him. Let him be the one to break the bond, not me. “f**k you! f**k this pack! I’ve been packed for days. This,” I point my finger between the two of us, “means nothing. It changes nothing.” My eyes wet with the influx of tears.

“Sutton.” His brows narrow, his eyes briefly showing how truly hurt he was. My name sounds like an endearment on his lips. Maybe it’s another plea. Begging me not to make him do it. I can’t let myself believe that.

“Ani,” I challenge, trying to hide just how much it fazes me to see his vulnerability.

We stare at each other, neither saying a word. Our breaths were equally erratic, keeping time with the other. We’ve said so much in the past. Done so much we can’t take back. Deep down, I can’t ever reject him because I had such a deep affection for him. It makes sense now, why we were so hung up on each other. I know I would give in if he said he wanted me, but he doesn’t say it… and I can’t be here.

The bell rings, but we don’t flinch. We just stare.

“Let me go, Ani. Reject me, because I can’t do it.” The tears I’ve been holding back, break their well and trail down my cheeks.

“I, Anastacio Benjamin Valencia,” he pauses, thinning his lips, “reject… you, Sutton…” he doesn’t finish the sentence. He purses his lips and biting his cheek… and he does not finish the rejection.

My heart is already breaking. I claw at my chest, wanting to reach in and grab it to keep it from shattering. My breaths harsh and deep, that I wrap my arm around my stomach, but I refuse to give him the satisfaction of screaming.

I compose myself long enough to look at him. No signs of him hurting. He grits his teeth and maintains a tight lip. His eyes, however, showed me some sympathy. He may look stoic, but his eyes were hurting. He isn’t going to finish his rejection. He’s not going to end it. “I never thought I would be rejecting you. I can’t.”

“Screw you, Ani!” I curse, dropping my hand. I want him to feel the pain I am feeling. “Even if you were capable of saying the last few words, I won’t accept it,” I decide right then and there. “But I’m leaving and I’m not coming back if you're here.”

“Sutton!” he calls out, following me as I run to the parking lot, avoiding the glances from the crowd that has gathered to watch our failure to reject each other. “You can’t leave.”

“Good luck, Ani! By the time you figure out the truth, I’ll be far from here.” I reach my car in time to open the door and slam it shut. Locking it before Ani can yank it open.

“Sutton, you know how I feel about you. You can’t leave.” He slams a hand at the window that muffles his pleas.

“Yeah? You know how I feel too.” I don’t open the window, but I know he could hear me. We’re werewolves. Our hearing will pick up the softest of sounds. I put my car in reverse. He follows it, slamming his fists the hood of the car as I brake to shift gears. Then he stands there, blocking my escape.

“Move!” I order, he doesn’t. I act like I’m going to open the door, making him move towards it. It is enough to get him out of my way, and I step on the gas.

Mistakes were never intended to intentionally hurt anyone. Mistakes made in anger and hate are still mistakes.

Unfortunately, not all mistakes are forgivable.

Ours weren’t.

Happy birthday to me.