The House of the Unholy

The Silence of the Afternoon

Teo has his thoughts rapidly racing at the moment; a stark contrast to the silence of the mid-afternoon as he sits still staring at the empty space in the vast living room. He has his back arching on a rattan wood rocking chair slowly swaying back and forth, his left hand unconsciously tracing the roughed handle while his mind wanders somewhere else.

One moment his inner voice; the one with a tranquil tone, the part of him who is serene and aloof; would fire questions as the memory of his confrontation with Ana Rosa in the asotea plays repeatedly before his eyes.

“Why did she have to change her name?”

“Did she involve herself in trouble in Manila?”

“How did she end up in Pasi?”

Teo suddenly feels the tension builds up inside him as his mind fires these questions rapidly. He feels like he is boarding a raft against a stormy sea, wild waves hitting his raft throwing him in the ocean; drowning furiously as he struggles to keep himself afloat. As he gasps for air, the rocking chair makes a forceful stop and he frees short breaths.

“But she knew I was from here,”

“Yes, I am sure I mentioned that to her”

“Did she actually come here for me?,”

He unconsciously lays himself back in the rocking chair when the tension that he felt a moment ago turned into tranquility, the feeling of drowning in a stormy sea changed into a feeling of being drifted ashore, alive and hopeful. Right at that moment he thinks of Nimfa, before she was Ana Rosa. She was Nimfa, a plain girl who lives in the city, a waif girl who used to sell cigars. Teo smiles as he remembers her, on an afternoon same as this moment, was standing beside him staring at the mid-day sky. City dirt embracing her cheeks but still beautiful nonetheless, dressed in a very simple rugged garb, lost in the moment, eyes glowing against the sun, and her greasy hair thrown in the wind.

He, also was lost in that moment staring at the simple girl beside him. True to her name, he considered her nymph like, enigmatic and captivating; free spirited yet gentle. Teo remembered her face when she caught him staring at her, her childish smile, and how her dirty face lightened up when she noticed the embarrassment he felt at that moment. It was so silent then as it is now, when Teo recalls her finally uttered a word;

“What?, I look like a walking rug, don’t I, Segnor?” then she impishly giggled

“Just stained,” he carefully paused, “but still pristine,” he stuttered, he has always been as awkward.

To this Nimfa laughed hard and shook her head in disbelief.

“You are such a big contradiction, Segnor” then she laughed wildly, but he was awkwardly smiling at her

When she stopped laughing, she gasped for air and held it longer, then exhaled just as wild,

“The sun won’t be here for long,” she paused still staring at the setting sun, “soon enough, the night would fall,”

Teo sways the rocking chair harder this time as his thought changes again to Ana Rosa, the woman that Nimfa turned out to be. The glamorous woman who dresses perfectly to a fault, with fine jewelries choking her neck, hanging on her earlobes and embracing her wrists. He then realizes how Ana Rosa turned out to be the greatest contradiction, while he remained the awkward boy. Gone are the traces of Nimfa’s simplistic nature; only her captivating charm remains, even improved dangerously. Her innocent eyes turned to an ensnaring stare, her childish smile turned to a venomous smirk and her wild child stance transformed into calculated gestures. She no longer is stained, only pristine.

“But how Nimfa?, why?”

“How did you end up with Uncle Leon, why with him?”

The rocking chair makes another sudden stop when Teo tries to find the answers to these questions. As he recalls how his uncle rested his arms around Ana Rosa and the way she responded to him welcomingly, the tranquility that he felt sinks deep in a feeling of outrage. He grabs the rocking chair’s handle forcefully as he struggles to find his inner self, his calmness that slowly buries itself in a strong feeling of resentment. Teo could feel his serene inner voice is slowly being dragged back into the water by a sudden strong wave. This time his serene inner voice quickly drowns in the ocean of resentment, dragged down by the riptide of jealousy and insecurity. He tries to gasp for air but he could only let air so much as his lungs are still contracting inside. When he tries to gulp his own saliva to hydrate himself, he could feel its bitterness on the corner of his mouth. Until finally, he is able to let more air in and relaxes himself back on the rocking chair

When he closes his eyes gently, his thoughts then travels to the muddy front lawn and he remembers Jimena arching herself to Tatang Chuy. He recalls her saying to him, “she is well now, Tatang Chuy,”

“But who is well?”

“I did not know anyone in this house who was sick,”

“Nanang Ditas has always been her jolly self,”

“Who did they refer to?”

These questions seem to fuel Teo’s body to rock the wooden chair wildly while still holding the handle forcefully. He has his back resting against the wooden chair as the silence of the room is disturbed by the creaking sounds the rocking chair makes

“You know they say that a silent river holds a struggle,” says a voice from across the living room

Teo stops the rocking chair and traces where the voice was from. From a distance he sees Doctor Farin standing on a corner, puffing a tobacco

“Doctor, I did not see you coming,”

“I knew you would not even if I intend to,” he approaches slowly, “you were off somewhere even if you looked as still as a stone, Segnor” he reclines on a wooden sofa.

Teo smiles tensed as he reaches for a cup of coffee on the side table and half empties the cup

“I was just relaxing, Doctor Farin,” then he continuously drink his coffee until the cup empties

“Is that right?,” the physician puffs his tobacco again and blows the smoke gently, “I did not know you liked your coffee served luke warm,”

Teo shakes his head, and releases a whimper

“It seems like your coffee is more relaxed than you for you were able to finish your cup in two sips” then the physician laughs

Teo awkwardly looks down, his right foot stumping on the wooden floor, he is still tensed.

“How are you, really?” Dr Farin asks curiously

Teo studies the face before him and senses sincerity with the physician’s arching eye browse on his wrinkled face. He looks away from the doctor, scared that he might trace his feelings, afraid that if he stares at the doctor much longer, his eyes might give him away. Then a thought comes up again, this time the memory of his foster father, the real reason he came back home. At that moment he realizes the physician is genuinely interested in how he has been coping with his loss. That is when he looks back at Dr Farin who still holds the same sincere look on his face.

“I feel lost, Doctor. Though I am home but it does not feel like home. The walls the windows, the furniture, they all feel like just parts of this stone house. This is not the home that I used to come to, not the home that I recall four years ago. When father died, I also lost the way to that home” he holds his tears as he gasps air in

“And you think with him still around would make you feel right at home?” Dr Farin still asks locking his gaze at the young man who nods in agreement, “Do you sometimes wish that your foster father comes back?,”

“Of course, I do, doctor,” Teo responds, his voice cracks

The doctor puffs the tobacco one last time before he settles it at the ash tray on the side table,

“Once there was a woman who had her son died just days after her husband died. She was in an unexplainable despair and she hoped her son and her husband to be back from the dead. She heard an hermit was in town who was believed to be able to raise the dead. She begged the old man to bring his child and man back to her. The hermit agreed under one condition, she has to knock on doors of the townsmen and ask them for mustard seeds, but only those seeds from homes who have never experienced death in their family can be used to revive them. As the woman was insanely eager to raise her child and her man back, she rushed to the town and begged them for mustard seeds. She knocked on every doors and was told that they can give her mustard seeds, even cartloads of it, but they too had experienced deaths in the past. The woman spent the whole afternoon trying to find a household which did not experience death in the past to give her mustard seeds, but every house she knocked on to all had death in their family. When night fell, the woman went back to the hermit, she seemed to be changed as she looked peaceful than when she first arrived. That moment, she was no longer interested in bringing her child or husband back to life as she learned that death is inevitable and it is inevitable that everyone has to experience it” the physician reaches towards Teo as he gently taps his shoulder

Teo peacefully smiles as his tears flow freely down his cheeks, staining his shirt as they find their way down

Dr Farin sits back down on a wooden chair just opposite the rocking chair and puffs his tobacco again

“The woman learned the hermit’s lesson that everybody shall die. That day, her son died, days after his husband died, who knows, in the coming days or weeks or years, she will also die. Nobody really knows when, and the death of her son that day should not be her end as well. She learned that she has to go on with her life, and every time she thinks of them she only should feel grateful for the time she had spent with them. She knows she has to send them prayers whenever they cross her mind. Soon, when her time on earth is also over, they might be together again” the physician continues

Teo keeps silent but he can not deny that he feels much lighter, he feels by crying it all out, he eased his burden. He feels like someone threw a rope for him to grab while he was drowning in the ocean of despondency just moments ago. When he grabbed the rope that saved his life, he sees Dr Farin standing on the shore pulling him away from the riptide of sorrows and confusion.

“Like the townsmen in the story Segnor, you can also knock on my door and I can give you words and advise just like the mustard seeds. But I, too, had experienced deaths in the past, we all have. The staff and servants in this house, your uncle, or Fray Luciano. We can all give you mustard seeds, even cartloads of it, but we all had deaths in the past,” the physician smiles

“Because death is inevitable,” Teo answers

Dr Farin nods his head slowly, “And when someone knocks on your door someday to ask for mustard seeds, I hope you can impart the lesson to them as well, Segnor,”

“I appreciate it, Doctor,” he pauses, “But tell me, did he really die from heart attack?,”

Dr Farin looks behind him as if confirming that they are alone in the living room. He rests the tobacco on the ash tray again as he locks his gaze with Teo

“He had the usual signs, like nausea, vomiting and chest tightness,” the physician starts, “he also had an excited nerves and heart muscles. I also found an increased level of intracellular calcium and extracellular potassium. With the increased calcium, it lead to an increased heart contractility which means his heart had to contract much harder than it needed to,”

“Which lead to an arrhythmia; while the increase in potassium can lead to hyperkalemia,” Teo interrupts

Dr Farin squints his eyes and nods his head in affirmation, he puffs his tobacco much longer, and blows thicker smoke. He repeats this while Teo looks at him with confusion painted on his face

“But what triggered the attack, Doctor?” Teo stutters, “could it be with the food that he was consuming or the liquor maybe? , or a state of sadness that we was in?”

“The Don lose his health gradually. First, he suffered from severe nausea, then diarrhea with blood both when he vomited and with his excrement, and abdominal pain. Afterwards, his heart collapsed and his body failed him. As his physician, I would not rule out any possibilities, even the possibility that he might have been poisoned!” Dr Farin puffs his tobacco up to its filter and he blows out a thicker smoke into the air.

“Poisoned?,” Teo is trembling.

Just the thought of someone with hidden anger against the Don infuriates Teo. He resumes grasping the rocking chair handle forcefully. While growing up, he had witnessed how the people have high regards with his foster father, who served as the town’s captain for several years leading the town to progress agriculturally with his unparalleled knowledge of growing rice husks which he imparted to his farmers. At that moment, that all went in ruins as he paints them with suspicion, anybody could be behind a plot so dark it caused the Don’s life. It pains him to imagine someone as benevolent as his foster father had been betrayed by somebody, but it stabs him more to even consider that somebody could be closer than he thought, that somebody must have been living with them all along.

“Glycosides, Segnor, I have been considering some type of glycosides” Dr Farin clasps his hands together and takes air in “but nothing is still conclusive at this moment, ”

Teo struggles to calm himself against the wild waves of displeasure which starts to build up inside of him. At this moment, Teo feels being dragged back in the water, about to get drown in the riptide of confusion and suspicion.

Dr Farin rises from his chair and takes a deep look at the confused looking young man as if he is trying to assess how the young man copes with such revelation. The physician remains on his feet just staring at Teo as if there is still another thing he would like to divulge as if the possibility of the Don being poisoned is not yet suffice. With his lips pursed together, his left hand stroking his chin, the Doctor then decides to take his seat back as he utters;

“After the Don was buried, there were some of his belongings which are obtained by Tinyo. The priest apprentice claimed that as a sub-ordinate of the church, Don Lorenzo’s personal things are under the domain of Fray Luciano. One of those obtained was the Don’s journal where he chronicled his life at the colony. I would assume the Don must have shared his ailment in one of the entries, Segnor. If we could only have a glimpse of the last days of the Don, perhaps we can draw some conclusions on what really happened to him”

Teo remains silent while stroking the handle of the rocking chair as if he is oblivious to the claims the stocky physician just made