Chapter 4: The Beginning 3.1
1135 Words
After Darren left the room, I broke down crying. How could I bear to look at him? He asked me to go back to being friends with him as before... What kind of friends hook up like that! But I already promised him that we would still be friends as before.
That morning, I didn't go to class because after Darren and I were together all night until morning, I could barely stand or walk. I was sore all over, and it seemed like I might have a fever too, so I stayed in the room all day.
Knock! Knock!
I heard a knock on the door. It couldn't be anyone else but Darren. I walked slowly to open the door.
"What's up?" I asked when I saw Darren standing at the door.
"Why didn't you go to class? I called you, but you didn't answer," he said irritably.
"I think I have a fever, and I, um..."
"And what?" he asked again.
"I'm sore in that area... I can't walk," I said, and Darren picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.
"What are you doing?" I asked him in surprise.
"Just stay still," he ordered me.
Darren carried me to the bed and placed me down. He touched my forehead.
"You have a slight fever. Have you taken any medicine?" he asked, sounding concerned.
"No... I ran out of medicine, so I haven't taken any," I said, and he shook his head slightly before leaving the room.
Soon, Darren returned with paracetamol and gave me two pills.
"Can't I just take one?" I asked him.
"No, take two... You're grown up now, and you still have trouble taking medicine?" he said irritably. Why can't he just be nice about it?! I just really don't like taking medicine.
"No, I just really don't like taking medicine," I replied calmly.
"Hurry up and take it! Or do you want me to feed you?" he said, staring at me.
"N-no need, I can do it myself," I quickly took the pills from his hand and put them in my mouth. He handed me a glass of water. After I finished taking the medicine, he left the room and returned with a basin and a small towel.
"I'll give you a sponge bath."
"Hey! No need, I can do it myself," I quickly refused.
"Don't be difficult," he said sternly.
"But..."
"Don't be shy. I've already seen it all." My face flushed red, and I couldn't meet his eyes.
Then Darren cleaned my whole body and told me to rest.
"Aren't you going back to class?" I asked because it was almost 1 PM.
"No, I'll stay here with you," he replied.
"You should go to class... I'm fine now. I've taken the medicine, so I'll be fine soon."
"I'm the one who made you like this... I have to take responsibility," he said seriously.
Why don't you take responsibility for treating me like your wife instead? Not just for making me sick.
After Darren stayed with me from afternoon until evening, I started feeling better.
"You can go back to your room now... I'm already better."
"Are you sure the fever won't come back?" he raised an eyebrow and asked me.
"Hmm, I'll just take some medicine to be safe."
"If you don't have a fever, don't take it... it's not good for your body, don't you know?" he scolded again.
How would I know? My dad's not a doctor like yours.
I saw Darren constantly checking his phone as if he was waiting for something. Soon, a message notification sounded, and he quickly picked up his phone to check. I immediately knew it must be a message from Leah.
"Well, I should get going... I've got something important to take care of."
"Mmm, go ahead." I turned my face away because I didn't want Darren to see my tears welling up. I quickly wiped them away and turned back to look at him.
"Are you going to see Leah?" I asked to emphasize my own pain.
"Yeah."
"Have you two made up already?" Still... still not stopping, isn't this pain enough?
"I'm trying to win her back, probably with expensive gifts, right?"
"Mmm. I'm happy for you. You better hurry, Leah might be waiting." Sigh! I'm really tired of myself.
"I'm going," Darren said and quickly left the room. My tears flowed uncontrollably. Last night he was with me, but today he's trying to win back his girlfriend.
It hurts so damn much! Sorry for the language, but I really can't handle it right now.
***
A week later…
Darren managed to win Leah back, but it cost him a fortune.
And what about me? I just went to school as usual, talking to him like nothing happened. But my feelings for Darren have grown even stronger. Is this what they mean when they say that once a woman has been with a man, she will love him even more? But here I am, secretly in love with him. The more I became his, the more I loved him. Yet, he never realized that I felt more for him than just a close friend.
And I had to act like nothing ever happened between us. I had to endure watching Darren and Leah being lovey-dovey as usual after they got back together. But this time, the pain was a hundred times worse. Yet, I couldn't do anything because being involved with a friend's boyfriend made me feel deeply guilty towards Leah.
Right now, I feel like I'm hurting myself by trying to keep everything as it was. I'm starting to step back from where I stand, caught between Darren and Leah. I've started ignoring calls and messages, or sometimes I read them but don't reply. I'm trying to be friends with him again, but right now, I just can't. I just need some time. One day, I'll be able to be friends with him wholeheartedly, but it certainly won't be anytime soon because I'm still crying myself to sleep every night.
After I started distancing myself, it seemed like Darren noticed, but he didn't do anything about it. He probably doesn't care about me anymore... about how I'm doing or how I feel. He probably wouldn't miss me at all, especially now that his relationship with Leah is sweeter than ever.
I've started focusing on loving myself and making myself happy. I visited my parents, went out shopping, watched movies, listened to music, got a makeover, and hit the gym. I did everything I could to make myself happy and found that it's not so bad. I was so busy loving someone who never even noticed me that I forgot to love myself.
Now I know I can live my life without Darren.
- Writer
