Purgatech: Jess' Horror

Chapter Two

She was only 21 but Jess had been to enough funerals to last a lifetime. It started with a bunny when she was five and ended with her parents last year. And now Gram. Poor, sweet Gram. She always felt like there was some sort of curse on her family.

Sitting in her Gram's living room while people talked in hushed tones didn't make her feel any sense of comfort. In fact, the longer they tried to make small talk about the weather or the upcoming game at the college, she wanted them to get the hell out so she could grieve in peace.

"Jessica dear, how are you holding up?"

She felt a soft, cold hand on her arm and when she looked up was face-to-face with Mrs. Parker, her Gram's best friend.

"As well as can be expected," she said. She'd learned to say the things people expected of her instead of what she really felt.

"Well, your Gram was very proud of you for pulling yourself up by your bootstraps and getting into the college."

Jess smiled but all she could think of was the fact that Mrs. Parker's wig was on crooked and it made her look like some crazed lunatic.

"I know this is hard for you after everything you've been through, dear," she said as she patted Jess on her hand. "But you can feel some sort of comfort knowing that your Gram isn't alone."

It was the one thing Jess didn't want anyone to say to her. Of all the cookie cutter sentiments people liked to trot out for these types of occasions, and here Mrs. Parker and her crazy wig and her clammy, wrinkly soft hands that felt just like Gram's hands, hands Jess would never be able to hold again. The very thought of it made Jess' anger rise up from the pit of her stomach.

She gritted her teeth to keep herself from saying anything, but Mrs. Parker kept patting her hand like she was a sad dog.

"Your Gram is in a better place. She's with your mom and dad now."

"I know she is," Jess said, unable to control herself. "She's dead! Just like my mom! Just like my dad! Everyone I love is dead! Thanks for reminding me!"

Jess jumped up and bolted across the room, shoving aside anyone who stood in her way. She made it to the back door, yanking it open and staggering out onto the porch, planting her hands on the railing and squeezing her eyes closed.

Footsteps raced through the kitchen toward her.

Please don't come out here. Please, please, please.

The door squeaked open.

"Oh my god! Jess! Are you okay?"

Jess shook her head and turned, opening her eyes to find not only Erica but Corey, Erica's boyfriend, and Corey, his best friend, staring at her. Kyle stood awkwardly in the doorway staring at her like she'd grown a second head.

"I just couldn't take the lame attempts at all those people in there trying to make me feel better."

"Well, you made your point pretty clear," Corey said, moving beside Jess and shoving a flask toward her.

"That's the last thing Jess needs," Kyle said, finally stepping out onto the deck.

Jess glared at him. How dare he? Always trying to tell Jess what she wanted, what she needed, how she should act. What gave him the right? With the way he'd chastised her and then bailed on her the other day, he had a lot of nerve even showing up here.

"You know what?" she said, grabbing he flask and popping off the top. "Maybe this is exactly what I need."

She took a long swig from the metal container, keeping her eyes focused on Kyle. He kept his teeth clenched together so tightly that his jaw twitched.

"That's not going to help anything," Kyle said.

"You know what doesn't help? Everyone in there staring at me like I'm a little lost kitten. I'm an adult. I've dealt with more than this. I can do it again. I don't need anyone telling me what to feel."

"No one was trying to do that, Jess." Kyle started toward her but she pulled away from him.

"Alright, lovebirds. No need to squabble," Corey got between them, hanging one arm over each of their shoulders. "Jess is right. All those old grandmas in there are bringing down the whole vibe we got going on here."

"What vibe is that exactly?" Kyle said. "You know this is a wake, right?"

"Yeah, well that doesn't mean we have to sit around and cry into our rice pudding. I'll bet Jess' Gram is up there right now looking down on us. And what do you think she's saying? Huh?"

In unison, Jess, Erica and Corey chimed in. "When life gives you lemons, grab tequila and salt!"

Their laughter echoed into the darkness that had now set on the town. Jess pulled her sweater around her. It was her favorite. Gram had given it to her on her birthday last year after secretly spending weeks knitting it from the softest grey wool she could find. Jess cherished it now more than ever. It was almost as if she could imagine Gram was hugging her.

"Damn, I am gonna miss your Gram, Jess. She was a cool lady," Corey said. "Which is why we need to get rid of all these seniors and give her a proper send-off. What do ya say?"

Jess felt a momentary pang of guilt. Maybe it wasn't proper to think about partying at a time like this. After all, Gram was the last of her family members. Should she really be trying to have fun?

Just then, the wind stirred in the trees, lifting the leaves that had fallen on the dewy grass in a small circle. They lilted up into the sky, dancing around them in a twisting, diving like gulls at the shore Gram had taken Jess to the same day her parents had died.

"I say…" Jess turned to Corey and smiled. "Gram loved a good party."

Corey clapped his hands together and planted a kiss on Jess' cheek before grabbing Erica and Kyle and shoving them inside.

"We'll get rid of the geriatric-set. You two…hash out your little squabble so we can give Gram the send-off she deserves."

A few awkward moments passed as their friends went inside. Erica gave Jess look, raising her eyebrows at her to make sure she was okay. When Jess nodded, Erica, slugged her brother on the shoulder and then followed the others inside. Jess stood there staring at Kyle, who slowly paced the length of the deck and scrubbed at the back of his neck with his fingernails. He didn't say a word, instead becoming suddenly engrossed in the way Gram's backyard looked off the deck.

"So, are you going to give me another lecture or what?" Jess said.

The moment she said it, she felt guilty. The last thing she wanted to do was get into a fight with Kyle right now. But when he turned around and gave her that look he always gave her–the one where his jaw clamped so tight that it hitched out to ones side and his eyes narrowed at her so much that she could barely see the whites of them-she knew he was still too stubborn to give an inch.

"You know what? I was hoping you could give me cut me a little slack. I mean after everything that has been going on lately, the least you could do is just be there for me the way your sister and Josh have been. I mean even Corey has been more comforting to me than you have, Kyle."

"How have I not been there for you? I'm the one who always comes to your defense when people say crap about you around town. Who's the one who has been there for you day in and day out since your mom and dad died?"

"You may be have been there for me Kyle, but you sure as hell have been judging me the whole way, too. At least the rest of the gang--"

"The rest of the gang? All they want to do is get wasted. Do you really that's going to help you right now?"

Jess shook her head and threw both hands into the air. "Sitting around moping sure as hell isn't doing it so you know what?"

She stomped towards the screen door and yanked it open before she turned to look back at Kyle. "I'm gonna do things my way."

She turned and went inside. The way the screen door banged against the friend wooden frame needled on the back of the neck but she wasn't going to apologize for feeling the way she felt anymore. She wasn't going to pretend or try to be something she wasn't. Her Gram especially wouldn't want her to be that way.

Luckily, by the time she made it to the front door, most of the mourners had left. Erica had just closed the door behind them behind the last of them and Corey was already in the parlor, cranking up the stereo.

Jess made her way inside and went over to the bookcase lining one wall. She ran her fingers along the spines of all the record sleeves lined up and stood there smiling for a moment. It was Gram's prized collection, something that she and Jess had always bonded over.

Sure there was a lot of classical music and even a few country music albums thrown in for good measure. But Gram was pretty hip in her old age and even had some classic rock, and Jess's favorite, 80's pop music.

Jess pulled out one of their favorite albums and stared at the cover for a while. She knew this wasn't exactly her Gram's style. It was Jess' influence. But after Jess' parents had died, she holed herself up in her room and played this record until the needle on her record player had worn down to a knob.

One day, as Jess was leaving for school, Gram plucked her backpack from her and put it down by the front door.

"Gram, what are you doing? I'm going to be late for school?"

Gram had put her arm around Jess's shoulder and hugged her towards her. "You're not going to school today, sweetie. Were taking a day off. Let's go have some fun."

They'd gone into the city that day, taking the subway in like it was some big adventure. When they made it downtown, Gram took Jess by the hand and they strolled down the main stretch past all the businessmen and women rushing off to their jobs. They took their time, just looking into all the shops at all their strange wares until Gram stopped in front of an over-sized picture window with an elaborate display.

Pink and Silver lightning bolts dangled like strange mobiles from the window. In the display, a bunch of covers were propped up displaying the face of a man with a lightning bolt painted on the side of his face. Jess went up to the window, pressing both palms to the class and staring in at the album cover.

Gram moved beside her leaning down and looking in at the display. "That looks interesting. Let's go in and buy it."

Jess pressed her palms to the cover of the album and closed her eyes. It was almost like she was holding Gram's hand again. She knew it was lame but without her memories, what else did she have?

"Thank you?, Corey said, reaching over Jess' shoulder plucking the album from her hands. "Aw, Bowie. A nice choice."

Corey went across the room toward the record player and put on the turntable. That familiar rustling of static in the speakers made the hair on the back of Jess' his neck stand up. Every crackle and every pop was like a tonic, something that calmed her down and made her feel both at home and completely melancholy. If only her Gram were here. But in a way, Jess figured she was.

For the next few hours, Kyle sat stone-faced in the corner, watching Jess and Erica downing shots of tequila and dancing to the tunes Corey kept spinning.

A few times, Jess caught him deep in conversation with Josh, but other than that, she tried not to pay Kyle any attention.

Instead, she tilted her head back, closed her eyes ans swayed drunkenly to the music. When she did, she felt a warmth around her that she hadn't felt for a long time. She knew it was the booze but she didn't care. In this moment, with her favorite people and her favorite music, she was content. Even if Kyle still hadn't taken the stick out of his butt yet.

Some time later in the night, everyone was slumped over on the couch. But Jess felt a strange pull in the atmosphere. She staggered out into the front hallway and stood there for a moment. She felt a strange urge to go to the back of the house where her Gram had converted the extra bedroom into her sewing room.

Somehow, Jess managed to make it there without tripping over her own two feet. She stood in the doorway, letting the dim glow of the hallway light filter into the otherwise darkened room.

Everything was still. The wind whistled outside the window, making the trees in the backyard sway and scratch at the glass. It was almost too much to bear, standing here where Gram should be, looking at all her things.

Jess edged inside the room, placing her hand on the pile of yarn on top of Gram's desk. All those unfinished projects just looked sad to her now. It just wasn't right. Maybe if she'd been there instead of getting into that stupid fight with Kara and the other cheerleaders, she could have gotten the call from the hospital in time. At the very least, she could have had the chance to say goodbye.

A cry caught in the back of Jess' throat. She flung herself onto the small single bed and buried her face in the knitted blanket on top. The soft, powdery smell of baby powder instantly made her well up. It was Gram's smell. She dusted it on every night after her bath and it made her skin glimmer, gave her a magical glow, like she was an angel.

Hot tears stung Jess' eyes. She sobbed into the blanket, feeling the night's tequila swirling around in the pit of her gut.

But then there was something else. She felt something on the back of her head. At first, she thought it was Corey coming to harass her when he knew she'd had too much to drink. But the hand stayed there for a few moments, moving softly, slowly, stroking her hair.

She stopped sobbing, turning over and wiping the tears away with the back of her hand.

"Let's just forget about all this, huh? I don't wanna fight anymore, babe."

She opened her eyes, expecting to see Kyle hovering over her, but he wasn't there. For the briefest moment, Jess saw her Gram standing there with her grey curls piled high on her head in her usual puffy beehive.

Jess blinked a few times. It was the tequila. Or the exhaustion. Both of them. Making her see what she wanted to see. It…it had to be.

She lifted her hand and slowly moved it toward her Gram's face, but before she could muster up a word, the image was gone.

Jess bolted upright on the bed, which made her head spin. She pitched over onto her side, fumbling for her phone, which was in her back pocket. Her first instinct was to text Kyle, to get him to come back there. She didn't care about their fight, or the other arguments or any of that crap any more. She just needed him.

But something made her stop. Just because she needed him didn't mean he would listen to what she had to say about what she'd seen. He'd made it obvious. He didn't believe like she did.

She jabbed the display of her phone with her fingers clumsily.

"Forget it! Uh-uh. No way!" she said.

But in the process, she'd managed to make a billion ads pop-up on her phone.

She groaned, trying to close all the windows when one of the webpages she'd inadvertently opened caught her attention.

Has someone you loved crossed over to the other side? Do you wish you had the chance to say good-bye? Purgatech can help. We're seeking paid users to test our cutting-edge technology. Connect and get that peace of mind you so desperately deserve. Contact us today.

Before Jess could stop herself, she'd entered her name and email into the pop-up form and hit send. Then she laid her head down on Gram's blanket and wept until she fell asleep.