His Luna Warrior

Chapter Three: Reinforced Barriers of the Heart

Jadea

After Derrick saw Adam out, we settled back down at the table.

“I’m surprised you offered it to him,” Blade spoke first.

“What do you mean?” Derrick countered. “He’s the perfect match! He’s out a job, desperate for money especially because he’s an only father with children, and he’s had previous band experience. He won’t talk.”

That, right there, was how I was allowing myself to rationalize my rash decision.

“Not to mention he has no idea who we are,” Briar added.

“All relevant points, except he caught onto the undercurrents of lies we were telling,” Garret snapped. And that’s what I had been afraid to hear. “He’s an intuitive human. I’m with Blade on this. As much as I may like the man, and as much as he may be a good fit, he might end up being more trouble than we are willing to handle at the moment.”

Hearing my own conclusions said out loud was hard to swallow. Especially when I felt such a strong pull, a strong connection towards this nobody.

“I’d almost rather have someone who is a bit less reliable with less outstanding qualifications, than have to deal with a troublesome, nosey human,” Blade added.

“But he is in desperate need of a source of income to support his children,” Briar argued. “And don’t we strive to help those in need. Well, he definitely is in need and from what I could tell, he could really use a break.”

“Garret?” My voice cut through the chatter, silencing the room. All eyes turned to him. My gaze held Garret’s pointedly, warning him not to say anything, to reveal to the pack what Adam was to me.

Garret, my Beta, was a weak mind reader. And I knew he’d caught on instantly to what had happened earlier. I hoped my gaze conveyed enough warning to keep him from saying anything.

He sighed heavily. “Other than the obvious, he is of strong character and has a good heart. He was uncomfortable, but he never once lied.”

“Awesome! So it is settled then?” Derrick asked. All eyes turned to me for the final decision.

If I was smart, I would take Garret’s warning to heart. If I was smart, I would call up Adam and tell him that, after some time to think and talk about it, we had changed our minds. Adam’s intuition could get himself into trouble, but I had to believe my pack and I were smarter than that. If it had been any other being on the planet, I wouldn’t have hesitated to rescind the offer. But, in this one single instance, I couldn’t. There was no way I could play it smart around that man. “I will not withdraw our offer,” I stated after a moment of deliberation. “We move forward with our plans. We will just have to be extra careful around him, and keep a keen eye on what he suspects.”

***

I’d escaped back to my room shortly after the meeting discussing Adam. I needed time to myself to not only write and compose but, to also rein in my wolf.

It had taken everything in my being not to pounce on the unsuspecting Adam. The moment I’d walked down the stairs I’d smelled his intoxicating scent. It had called to a very deep, very primal part of myself. It had awakened my hardened soul. Then seeing him… With his short red hair and blue eyes the color of the deep sea filled with such a debilitating sadness, my heart was lost. His age didn’t matter. The fact he wore glasses didn’t matter His circumstances—divorced with two children—didn’t matter. His less than average stature… To me, he was perfect.

I smiled, remembering how he’d reacted to me. The blush, his embarrassment, taking over his face at his clumsiness. While he was uncomfortable with his emotions, he hadn’t buried them so deep in himself like so many other men tended to do. He was more in connection with himself than most. And I admired that about him. It meant he wasn’t an arrogant asshole. And, trust me when I say I’ve spent my fair share around such individuals to know the difference.

He’d awakened something deep within myself that I thought I would never find, never have. The closest I had ever come to being complete, to feeling whole, was singing on a stage before hundreds to thousands of fans. Singing had done wonders for filling in the void surrounding my heart. But, it couldn’t reach the places or fulfill the needs one needed from a partner.

A soul mate.

Long ago, when I was young, I’d made a vow to never fall in love. To never give into that urge to take a mate, even if I did find ‘the one’. Love, even in its most basest and purest of forms, was dangerous. It was used in harmful, hurtful ways, and I refused to play those kinds of games.

No one really, truly loved another more than they loved themselves, or loved power.

I was an example of that, of a parent loving power more than their daughter…

A knock pulled me out of my reverie. Garret peeked in without waiting for my answer. “Hey,” he greeted softly.

Sighing, I turned my attention back to the lyrics I was working on. “I’m not surprised to see you, honestly.”

“So, you aren’t in denial?” He sounded a bit surprised. He knew my history. Knew the promises I’d made myself and had kept religiously.

“Not exactly. But, I’m not sure what to do about it.” I admitted.

“You should have called him and withdrawn the offer.”

Yes. I should have. But I hadn’t. And, I didn’t regret it either. Even though I may not be willing to act on my instincts, and what my wolf demanded from me, I could at least help him out. He was that single soul that fit perfectly with mine, and I knew I would forever feel responsible and ashamed if I turned him out during his most desperate time of need.

I had seen the toll life had taken on him. Even though he tried being stoic, distant, he hadn’t been able to fool me. I had seen the weary, worn and broken man behind his eyes. I’d seen the desperation. And, I’d also seen the fight buried deep in his soul. He deserved a break, deserved for something to go right in his life before that fighting spark was snuffed out completely. Before his heart turned to stone.

“He’s your mate, Jadea. It’s that simple.”

It sounded so simple. “No, it isn’t Garret. He has a life with children. He left behind the life of fortune and fame to be with them. He sacrificed so much for them already. It wouldn’t be fair to drag them into that world again, nor would it be safe to bring them into our world. Not when we are in the business of hunting monsters.” I wasn’t only saying this to Garret, I was forcefully reminding myself why Adam and I could never be. “It’s best just to let it be.”

“He felt it too, Jadea. It wouldn’t take much for him to embrace it.”

As nice as that sounded, and as promising as it all was, I couldn’t bring any more innocents into this debacle. I already knew how that story ended, and it wasn’t pretty. It wasn’t a road I was willing to go down ever again. “Thank you Garret,” I whispered, trying to keep the terseness out of my tone. I didn’t know Adam, and I wouldn’t actively engage him either. But, this wasn’t going to be easy to let go of. It wasn’t going to be easy fighting against every instinct in my being, every cell that would be begging to take a chance on him, on love…I couldn’t explain why my heart was breaking, but it was shattering into a million shards that cut deeper than any weapon ever could.