Toxic Vows, Filthy Pleasures

chapter 14

I slipped into the grand library like a ghost, closing the heavy oak door behind me with a soft click that echoed through the cavernous room. Dust motes danced in the slanted beams of afternoon sunlight filtering through tall, arched windows. Floor-to-ceiling shelves lined every wall, filled with leather-bound volumes that smelled of aged paper and forgotten stories. This had always been my sanctuary in this cold mansion, a place where I could disappear for hours without Derek noticing or caring. Today, I needed it more than ever.

My legs still felt unsteady from the morning’s tensions. The soreness between my thighs was a constant, throbbing reminder of the previous night and the stolen hallway kiss from Marcus. I sank into the deep velvet armchair in the far corner, the one tucked behind a towering sculpture of intertwined lovers. My hands trembled as I pulled the poetry book Lucas had left me from my skirt pocket. The leather was soft, warm from being pressed against my body. I opened it randomly, but the words blurred on the page. All I could see was that photograph. Marcus shaking hands with Derek. The implications twisted in my gut like a knife.

*What am I doing?* I thought, pressing my forehead against the cool leather cover. *This isn’t freedom. It’s just another cage.*

The door creaked open. I froze, heart leaping into my throat.

“Ava?” Lucas’s voice was low, calm, like a gentle current beneath still water. He stepped inside, closing the door behind him. His tall frame moved with quiet grace, piercing eyes scanning the room until they found me. He wore a simple dark button-down that hugged his lean, athletic build, sleeves rolled up to expose forearms corded with subtle strength. “I thought I might find you here. You disappeared after breakfast.”

I swallowed hard, clutching the book tighter. “I needed space. Everything is… too much right now. Please, Lucas. If Derek finds out”

“He won’t.” He crossed the room slowly, giving me time to breathe, and pulled up a matching ottoman to sit across from me. His knees nearly brushed mine. “You don’t have to hide from me. Not here.”

The sincerity in his voice cracked something inside me. I looked away, staring at the intricate patterns in the Persian rug. “You don’t know what it’s like, Lucas. Living in this house, day after day, feeling like a ghost in your own life. Derek looks through me. He never sees me. And now… you three are here, and I feel everything at once. It’s terrifying.”

Lucas leaned forward, elbows on his knees, his gaze never wavering. “I do know what it’s like,” he said softly. “To feel invisible. My family… they were taken from me because of men like Derek. I spent years moving through the world unseen, just surviving. Until that night at the bar. Until you.”

His words hung between us, heavy with shared pain. I met his eyes, searching for any hint of deception. “Why me? I’m broken, Lucas. Married. A mess who drowned her sorrows in tequila and ended up in bed with three strangers.”

“You’re not broken,” he replied, voice steady and warm. “You’re surviving. There’s strength in that. The way you looked at us that night not with fear, but with this raw hunger for life. It woke something in me too. Tell me honestly, Ava. When was the last time someone really saw you? Not as a trophy or a convenience, but as a woman who feels deeply?”

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I hadn’t cried in so long, but his question unlocked a flood. “Years,” I whispered. “Derek stopped seeing me the day we signed the papers. He touches me only when it suits him, and even then, it’s cold. Mechanical. I felt dead inside for so long. Then you three… you make me feel alive. Wanted. But it scares me how much I crave it.”

Lucas reached out and took my hand, his thumb stroking gentle circles over my knuckles. “You deserve to feel wanted every single day. Not just in stolen moments. You’re strong, Ava. Stronger than you know for surviving him. For taking that leap at the bar. For sitting here now, trusting me enough to say these things.”

His touch grounded me. The warmth of his skin against mine sent a slow heat spreading through my body. I squeezed his hand back. “I don’t know if I can trust anyone anymore. But with you… it feels different. You see me. Really see me.”

“I do,” he murmured, his voice dropping to a husky whisper. “I see the fire in you. The way your breath catches when you’re touched right. The way your eyes soften when someone speaks to your heart instead of just your body.” He slid from the ottoman to his knees in front of my chair, never breaking eye contact. “Let me show you how seen you are.”

My breath hitched as he gently pushed my knees apart, his hands sliding up my calves with reverent slowness. The skirt rode up my thighs, exposing more skin. “Lucas… here? What if someone comes in?”

“Then they’ll see a man worshipping the woman he can’t stop thinking about.” His fingers traced the edge of my panties, eyes still locked on mine. “Tell me to stop, and I will. But I think you need this. You need to feel.”

I didn’t tell him to stop. Instead, I threaded my fingers through his hair, heart pounding. “I need it,” I admitted, voice trembling. “I need you to make me feel real again.”

He smiled softly, a rare, beautiful expression that transformed his brooding face. “Good girl. Lean back for me.”

I obeyed, sinking deeper into the velvet chair as he lifted my skirt fully and slid my panties down my legs with deliberate care. The cool air kissed my exposed flesh, making me shiver. Lucas’s breath ghosted over my inner thighs as he settled between them, strong hands holding me open.

“You’re already glistening for me,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to my thigh. “So beautiful. So responsive.” His tongue traced a slow, deliberate path along my folds, savoring every inch. I gasped, hips twitching, but he held me steady. “Look at me, Ava. Don’t look away.”

Our eyes met as his mouth closed over my c**t, sucking gently. Pleasure bloomed deep inside me, warm and spreading. “Oh God, Lucas… that feels incredible,” I moaned softly. “So slow… it’s driving me crazy.”

He hummed against me, the vibration sending sparks up my spine. “You taste like heaven. Sweet and desperate for more.” His tongue circled my sensitive bud with worshipful precision, never rushing, building the tension layer by layer. One hand stroked my thigh soothingly while the other rested on my stomach, feeling the way my muscles fluttered. “You’re so strong, holding everything inside for so long. Let it out here. With me.”

“Lucas,” I breathed, gripping his hair tighter. The words tumbled out between gasps. “I’ve been so lonely. Even when Derek was in the same bed, I felt completely alone. But this… your mouth on me, your eyes seeing every reaction… I feel alive. Don’t stop. Please don’t stop.”

“I won’t,” he murmured between long, languid licks. “I could stay here for hours, tasting you, listening to every little sound you make.” He slid one finger inside me slowly, curling it just right while his tongue continued its devoted worship. “You’re clenching around me already. So tight. So perfect. You deserve this pleasure every day. You deserve someone who sees how incredible you are.”

My head fell back against the chair, but I forced my gaze back to him, locked in that intense connection. The pleasure built like a slow tide, rising higher with every stroke of his tongue and thrust of his finger. “I’m getting close,” I panted. “Lucas, you make me feel so good… so wanted. Keep talking to me. Tell me I’m strong while you… oh!”

He added a second finger, pumping them in a steady rhythm that matched his mouth. “You *are* strong, Ava. Surviving that man. Opening yourself to us. Coming apart so beautifully on my tongue.” His eyes darkened with desire, but there was something deeper there affection, maybe even the start of something real. “Come for me. Let me feel you shatter. I’ve got you.”

The orgasm washed over me in deep, rolling waves. I cried out his name, thighs trembling around his shoulders as he continued licking me through every pulse, drawing it out until I was boneless and gasping. He didn’t pull away immediately. Instead, he pressed soft kisses to my sensitive flesh, murmuring praises against my skin. “Beautiful. So perfect. You did so well.”

I pulled him up gently, needing his mouth on mine. The kiss was slow and deep, tasting myself on his tongue. When we broke apart, I rested my forehead against his. “That wasn’t just s*x,” I whispered. “That felt like… connection. Real connection. I’ve never had that before.”

Lucas cupped my face, thumb brushing away a tear I hadn’t realized had fallen. “It is connection. I see you, Ava. All of you. The pain, the fire, the strength. And I’m not going anywhere.”

We stayed like that for a long moment, breathing together, the weight of unspoken promises hanging between us. For the first time in years, I didn’t feel invisible.

The library door suddenly swung open.

“Well, well,” Damien’s amused voice cut through the air. “Am I interrupting something delicious?”