Chapter 3
1356 Words
Alright. I have to do this.
That bastard really knows where I am. If he tries to come after me, I can’t drag that drama into Claire’s home. I have to leave this place and find somewhere else to hide.
My throat clogs just thinking about it. Leave this place? And go where?
Austin’s in New York, and ever since my friendship with Claire ended years ago, he stopped blackmailing me with my secrets and moved on to another insecure girl. I heard he’s married now. Well, so is Freya, so you never really know how anything’s going to turn out in this world.
Maybe I could go to Freya. She lives in Oman now with her husband. Surely not even Craff would be able to find me there. But what do I tell Claire?
The excuse I gave her when I moved in five months ago was that I wanted to escape an abusive relationship, that the bastard wouldn’t stop chasing me. If I tell her I’m going back to New York, she’ll definitely worry.
“Hey.”
I start at the sound of her voice in the doorway. Claire leans in, her gaze catching on my form. Her frown deepens when she notices how I jump.
“What’s wrong?” she asks, stepping farther into the room.
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m okay.” I say too much, and now her eyes narrow into pin points behind the lenses.
“Spill, Jenna.” She crosses her arms. “What’s going on with you? You’ve barely been eating. Have you lost even more weight?”
My heart jolts. I twist my fingers together, shifting in place. “No, I just–”
Claire doesn’t let me finish. She steps forward and pulls me into a hug, rubbing my back warmly. Tears sting my eyes. My throat burns.
“It’s okay,” she whispers against my hair. “You’re fine. You’re safe.”
She must think it’s the abusive boyfriend and the memories that come with it. My arms slowly move to return her hug, and something inside me cracks open, a wide, aching hole. Maybe I should just tell her the truth. I’m so sick of fighting alone.
“Claire,” I whisper, voice breaking as tears spill down my cheeks. “I’m in trouble.”
She stiffens, pulling back to look at me. Worry flickers into alarm. “What, what’s going on?”
We sit together on the edge of my bed, the room silent except for the hum from the AC. My hands tremble in my lap.
“The abusive boyfriend was a lie,” I begin. “I don’t really have one. But there was a guy I was dating.” A humorless smile tugs at my lips. I always know how to pick them, the lowlives of the street.
“He seemed nice at first, and I… I started to rely on him.” Something I will never do again in this life.
“Then he told me…” My skin prickles as the old humiliation creeps in. I’d been so stupid back then, five years ago, letting Austin blackmail me into sleeping with him, letting him lead me by the nose. Claire still doesn’t know the truth about that, and she never will.
“Come on, Jenna,” she says softly. “Please tell me what happened. I’ve been waiting for you to talk so I can help.”
She’s so kind. Despite everything I did to her, how I betrayed her, she’s never thrown it back in my face. Sometimes I’m so jealous of her I can hardly breathe. How am I prettier, yet my life is a constant disaster? I’ve always wondered why God made me look like this, only to hand me such a s**t life.
I draw in a shaky breath and force myself to go on. “He asked me to date someone, Craff. He’s a drug lord in New York.”
“Jenna…” Claire breathes with shock. I pretend not to hear.
“He only told me to date him and give him information about where Craff would be. So I did. I didn’t think it was dangerous. Craff took me everywhere, and I didn’t know Silas planned to rob him, and kill him.”
Claire shakes her head slowly, her wide eyes searching my face for something to make it make sense.
I can’t tell her the truth, that I thought what I had with Craff would be like what she has with Aleksei. That I wanted to feel powerful, wanted to use my good looks like she did. Mom always called me a seducer, and I guess a part of me believed her.
“I really didn’t know what Silas was planning,” I whisper. “I didn’t even ask.” Tears gather again, and I hate myself for it. I swipe them away angrily. “I got myself into this mess, and I’m not looking for someone to bail me out. But I need to get away, to go somewhere no one will find me. Claire, it’s all I can do.”
“But you’re safe here,” Claire says, reaching out to lay a reassuring hand on me, but I rise out of reach.
“I’m not! Craff already knows where I am. Sooner or later he’ll come for me!”
“How does he know where you are?”
My eyes widen. I spin around to see Niko standing at the doorway. My heart slams against my chest, so hard it hurts.
“No one, no… how,” I stammer, shaking my head and stepping back. My gaze darts to Claire, silently pleading with her not to say a word. Then I turn, trying to hurry past him, but he catches my arm and gently pulls me to a stop, holding me still in front of him.
Claire stands now, her face pale. “Some drug lord,” she says. “It’s a good thing this is within your playing field.”
She sounds so calm. So sure, because the men in her life make her feel that way. Safe. I drop my head feeling a stab of envy twisting in my gut.
Niko gives a small nod, but I shake my head quickly. “No. I don’t want you involved. Just–just help me escape. Send me somewhere he won’t find me. Please, I don’t want to bring trouble to your family.”
“Jenna,” Claire says softly, taking my hand. “I don’t know why you keep saying that, but you’re part of my family.”
I shake my head faster. The pain those words tear through me is almost too much. “No, Claire. I’m not. I’m a leech. A real family helps you, they don’t bring danger to your door. I don’t want to bother you anymore. I just need to leave. Please.” I sniff, wiping my nose with the back of my hand. “You have Jayden to worry about. I’ll be fine. I promise.”
She just stares at me with that pitying look, and my insides turn to ice. Claire didn’t want us to be friends again. She’d said we were done. The only reason she took me back was because she needed me. I was convenient. I made sure I was there for her to need. And now that look, God, that look, kills something inside me. Claire’s friendship and opinion means the world to me and that look, feels like death.
I remember when she used to say she wished she looked like me, when she used to tell me I’d go far, that I’d get everything I ever wanted. Now I have nothing. I’ve always had nothing. But now, even my own life isn’t something I can keep anymore.
I really am pitiful.
Claire suddenly pulls me into a hug, startling me. “It’s okay, Jenna. You’re okay. Don’t worry about anything. You’ll be fine.” Her hand moves slowly up and down my back. I force myself to relax, to pretend her comfort works.
- Writer
