At the hospital,
Cynthia opened her eyes suddenly and observed her surroundings, trying to understand where she was. She tried to lift her head, only to scream out in pain... clearly, she was still alive; at least, the pain confirmed it. Once the pain and dizziness subsided a bit, she moved her eyes to look around and figure out where she was. If the white walls were not enough, the beeping noise and the antiseptic smell were a dead giveaway… she was in a hospital …..
How did I get here? She considered. What happened... Why am I in pain everywhere... Oh, my head... it feels as if it’s ready to burst, she groaned.
There were a lot of nurses here. Why weren’t they looking at her... how did she get their attention? She wanted to shout and tell them that she was hurting badly, but no words came out. Even this little effort tired her out…. she considered resting for a minute and then attempting again.
She reopened her eyes and tried to draw the nurse’s attention to her. She must have been successful this time, because a nurse looked in her direction. “I was wondering where the noise was coming from,”
the nurse remarked as she came to her and looked at her closely. “So you are finally awake, ‘Jane Doe.’” She motioned for the other nurse to swiftly call for the doctor as she began taking ‘Jane Doe’s’ vital signs.
“Doctor, hurry; the coma patient is awake,” she said urgently, and the two of them rushed to the intensive care unit.
As soon as the doctor arrived, the nurse informed him of the patient’s vital signs and handed him a flashlight. The doctor checked her pupil’s reflexes and, once satisfied, instructed her to clench her fist. After she complied, he then asked her to stick her tongue out. Satisfied with her response to his orders, he then asked her, “How are you feeling?”
“My head is throbbing.” She answered in hushed tones and thought that she had heard this voice before.
“That’s because of your head injury. You have been in a coma for the last three weeks. Do you remember what happened”?
“No”… she shook her head and immediately regretted her action, clutching her head in pain.
“Take it easy…. and… Uh… you may also want to avoid any sudden movements,” he said, wincing as her face turned white with pain. “Don’t try to rush things. Let it all come to you naturally. You are a little disoriented, but with rest and time, the memories will all come back to you. For the time being, we’ll give you something to help with the pain.” with that, he left the room after giving instructions to the nurse.
The nurse injected something into her IV. After a while, her pain dulled, and she drifted off to sleep.
She awoke the following morning with a modest improvement in her condition. She was subjected to a battery of tests and scans in order to establish the state of her brain. Her head injury was determined to be no longer life-threatening, and she was moved to a normal ward. It was only a matter of time until she started exercising with the on-site physiotherapist to rehabilitate her physical strength and balance. The only blip on her horizon was her lack of memories.
She didn’t know why, but she had a strong feeling that she had a family somewhere out there, that her parents might be concerned about her well-being. There were times when she had the feeling that someone was looking for her frantically, but rather than giving her a sense of security, this made her feel more afraid. One indistinct image kept appearing in her dreams repeatedly, but every time she tried to focus on it…. to try and remember, she felt a searing and blinding ache in her head. She finally decided to take the doctor’s advice and stop straining herself to remember.
But that night, without any warning, everything came flooding back to her.. one by one, the missing pieces of her memory were pieced together to form a whole picture of her life. She remembered it all…. Liam… his betrayal….. her escape from his men, her trip across the state, her standing at the edge of the cliff, broken and dejected… her fall into the water…. the feeling of being hit by a concrete wall, her struggle to keep afloat…. scorching pain in her entire body - eyes, ears…. head…. her erratic breathing and finally darkness …
She rolled onto her right side and curled up in a fetal posture, her tears falling softly on the pillow... She sobbed for the loss of her innocence…. for her shattered trust…. for her broken dreams…. for loving the wrong man with all her heart and soul…. for losing the love and trust of her parents. She cried her heart out until there were no tears left in her eyes.
‘Jane Doe’ was still in the same fetal position the next morning when the nurse came to check up on her. “Are you in pain, child?” she asked kindly.
Cynthia didn’t say or do anything except stare at the nurse. Her eyes were devoid of any emotion. Poor child… she looks more dead than alive, the nurse observed. After consulting with the doctor, she prepared a sedative, explaining, “This will help you relax my child… it will quell your pain… your uneasiness.”
“No.” she abruptly stated in an angry tone. After noticing the nurse’s startled expression, she took a big breath and apologized to her. “Please don’t give me a sedative. I have just WOKEN UP and started seeing PEOPLE clearly… I don’t want to fog my brain again”.
Respecting the patient’s wish, the nurse did not sedate her and instead told her, “I’ll let you try to get some rest, but if your body shows any indications of stress and agitation, then I’ll have to give you this, okay?” She agreed with the nurse and thanked her for her kindness and understanding.
Once the nurse left, Cynthia thought back to the day she had decided to take her life. She had crossed the state lines all the way into Burlington, Vermont, and jumped off the Red Rocks cliffs towards her death. She had traveled so far to escape his clutches but had ended up taking her own life because Liam had not only snuffed the light out of her life and covered it with a blanket of gloom, but in doing so, he had also shattered the rock-solid foundation that had been holding her... supporting her for the whole time. While her life was already shaky without those pillars, the added weight of guilt and shame had pushed it to crumble completely.
Furthermore, she was well aware that no matter where she went, she would never be able to escape his clutches. He would be a ghost in her mind, forever haunting her. She knew that she can’t fight him with no means.. that if she didn’t take action soon, he would destroy her very soul.
He was right when he had told her that death was her only salvation... if so, then she, at least, wanted to end it all on her own terms in the hope that he would never get to know that he was able to drive her to the edge.. that he was able to break her, her confidence.. her will to fight. She just wanted to remain lost to him forever.
Now that she had survived, she would have to go into hiding again till the time she was strong enough to challenge him.. to fight him and end this cat-and-mouse game once and for all. She was certain that Liam would leave no stone unturned until he found her, for he was not the one to give up easily.
She tried to get out of bed, but she was too weak and disoriented to stand on her own without assistance, which was a clear indication that she would not be able to run away until she was in a better physical condition. As a result, she made the decision to be a model patient and wait until she was strong enough to leave. She didn’t disclose, to either the doctor or the nurse looking after her, that she had recovered her memories and was able to pull off her amnesia act perfectly in front of the neurologist, who speculated that she may be experiencing a complete memory loss due to retrograde amnesia. It was hard to predict whether the memory loss would be temporary or permanent, but it was best not to force the patient to recall.
It had been almost two weeks since she came out of her coma. She was making a good recovery and was almost back to full strength. The only thing that was troubling her was the lies that she had been feeding the kind staff at this hospital. She was contemplating her next step when the nurse came in with her medicines and news that shocked her into silence.
“Your friend is here. He’s ecstatic that he’s finally been able to find you down after such a long time. Oh ‘Jane Doe’ now you’ll be able to find out who you really are. I am thrilled for you... you must be so relieved,” the motherly nurse gushed with excitement.
Relieved? No, she was not relieved. She was, to put it mildly, worried..... distressed... scared to death. How could anything like this happen so quickly...? She’d been so cautious... she’d taken all the necessary steps... this couldn’t possibly be happening. She has to get away from here... she needs to hide. As she fought to get out of bed, tears streamed down her face. When the nurse saw her response, she assumed it was one of joy rather than fear.
“It’s not difficult for me to understand why you’re so enthusiastic about seeing your friend. He also looks to be a true friend, as he has been searching for you everywhere and has begun visiting hospitals with your photograph in hand. I’ve informed the other nurse to bring him in, so don’t worry. He’ll be here in a matter of minutes.” The nurse casually walked away, oblivious to the fact that she had just delivered a bombshell.
She was still hoping for a miracle that would save her from his clutches when she heard the sound of boots as someone entered the room. She didn’t have the courage to look at his face… mocking her for her failure to run away from him. Her eyes were downcast, and all she could see were those dark shoes and the black trouser legs. She gripped the sides of her bed, trying to prepare for the worst, when she heard the words she had been dreading these past weeks….. “At last, I found you.”