Learning To Control What I Am
652 Words
The room still carried the weight of everything Kael had said.
My past wasn’t mine.
My power wasn’t new.
And whatever I was becoming—
It had always been there.
Waiting.
I stood in the center of the space, my arms slightly tense at my sides, my thoughts racing faster than I could organize them.
“You said I need to learn control,” I said, breaking the silence.
Kael nodded once.
“Yes.”
I exhaled slowly.
“Then start teaching.”
He studied me for a moment, like he was trying to decide if I was ready.
Or if I would ever be ready.
“Control isn’t about forcing it,” he said finally. “It’s about understanding it.”
“That sounds like the same thing.”
“It’s not,” he replied. “Forcing it means you’re fighting it. Understanding it means you’re working with it.”
I frowned slightly.
“Then how do I ‘work with’ something I don’t even understand?”
“By listening to it,” he said.
The answer felt too simple.
Too vague.
But I didn’t argue.
Instead, I closed my eyes slowly.
At first—
Nothing.
Then—
That familiar warmth returned.
Soft.
Steady.
But deeper than before.
Stronger.
It didn’t feel like something separate anymore.
It felt like part of me.
“I feel it,” I said quietly.
“Good,” Kael replied. “Now don’t rush it. Let it settle.”
I focused on my breathing, trying to stay calm, trying not to trigger the same reaction as before.
For a moment—
It worked.
The energy stayed steady.
Controlled.
But then—
It shifted.
A sudden surge moved through me, stronger than before, spreading quickly through my chest and down my arms.
My eyes snapped open.
“I didn’t do that,” I said.
Kael stepped forward immediately.
“I know,” he said. “That’s why you need control.”
My chest tightened.
“It’s not listening.”
“It is,” he replied. “You’re just not used to how it communicates yet.”
That didn’t make sense.
“How can something like this communicate?”
Kael’s gaze sharpened slightly.
“Through instinct,” he said. “Through reaction. Through feeling.”
The warmth surged again.
Stronger this time.
Unstable.
My breathing became uneven.
“Kael…”
“Focus,” he said firmly. “Don’t let it take over.”
“I’m trying!”
“No—you’re reacting,” he corrected. “Stop reacting. Start deciding.”
The same words again.
Decide.
Not react.
I clenched my hands slightly, forcing myself to concentrate on one thing.
Not the power.
Not the fear.
Just—
Stillness.
Slowly—
The energy shifted.
Not gone.
But calmer.
More controlled.
My breathing steadied.
“I think…” I said, my voice softer now, “I think I can hold it.”
Kael didn’t relax.
“Then hold it.”
I nodded.
But just as I started to feel steady—
The warmth flared again.
Sharp.
Different.
Like it wasn’t just reacting to me anymore.
Kael noticed instantly.
His expression darkened.
“What is it?” I asked.
He didn’t answer right away.
But when he did—
His voice was lower.
More serious.
“You’re not the only one feeling that,” he said.
A chill ran through me.
“What do you mean?”
His gaze met mine.
“Something out there,” he said slowly, “just felt you too.”
The words settled heavily in the air.
Because suddenly—
This didn’t feel like training anymore.
It felt like exposure.
Like every step I took toward understanding my power—
Was also leading something else straight to me.
And that meant—
I wasn’t just learning to control it.
I was learning under pressure.
Under watch.
And whatever was watching—
Was getting closer. 😈🔥
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