This Is How You Get Her Back

Five

"Lauren," Alessandra nervously calls me.

"Mmm?"

I feel her wrap her arms around my waist, and my tough exterior crumbles. "You're jealous?"

"I'm sorry. I really don't want to be that girlfriend. This is literally the first time I've ever been jealous and I'm sorry. I just... I don't know," I ramble.

"If it bothers you so much, I can stop talking to her-"

"No, no. You don't have to do that. But... I don't know. I've noticed that you two have been talking a lot recently, huh?"

"Yeah. Just catching up, though. All friendly stuff and nothing more, I promise. You can read all our texts if you want to. But I swear if it bothers you, I can stop."

"I trust you," I tell her. Maybe Francine just misinterpreted Alessandra's stories.

"Okay. I want you to meet her. I'm seeing her on Wednesday. So you can see she's not a threat. Is that okay?"

I make a mental note of cancelling meeting up with Francine. "Okay," I reply with a nod. "Why're you meeting her though?"

"She referred me to one of those bigshot agencies that her firm handles, so she scheduled a meeting with an agent for this Wednesday."

"Okay."

"Are we okay?"

"Yeah, of course." I sigh. "I'm sorry, Alessandra. We should be celebrating your Bazaar booking but I'm being annoying. I'll make it up to you tonight."

"You're not being annoying," she assures me. "It's okay to be jealous sometimes, and I'm glad you told me how you felt. Cheer up now, okay? We're okay, I promise."

-

Inhale. 1 2 3 4 5 6 7. Exhale. Repeat.

This-and breathing as silently as possible so as not to awaken Alessandra-have been all that's in my head for the past 10 minutes.

"Lauren, I don't know if you're touching yourself or having trouble breathing again," Alessandra sleepily mumbles in my ear as she holds me closer, causing me to freeze.

I shut my eyes and attempt to stabilize myself.

"Lauren?" I hear her ask in a worried tone.

"Shh, I'm jacking off," I joke dryly.

"Lauren, I'm serious."

I open my eyes, and find her concerned eyes on mine. I smile. "Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep." I kiss her cheek to calm her down, but she props herself up on one elbow, and her hand reaches for my cheek.

"What's wrong?"

I shake my head. "Nothing."

She frowns, obviously doubting me. She sits up and grabs my wrist to take my pulse. "s**t," she mumbles before she runs outside my bedroom.

She comes back with a glass of water and half a tablet of Metoprolol. "Sit up," she orders, and I follow with difficulty as she assists me. I rest my back on the headboard. "Drink." She helps me as I gulp down the pill and half of the water in the glass. She takes the glass and sets it down on the bedside table, then brings all her attention to me. "Feeling better?"

I nod.

She holds my hand and kisses the back of it. "What's wrong, Lauren? This hasn't happened in so long. What's getting you anxious?"

You and Juliet, I wanted to say. Francine has been telling me about how you're still gushing about Juliet, and I don't know who to believe anymore.

Instead, I shake my head and say, "Can you sing to me?"

She smiles warmly as she lays her head on my lap. She places my hand on her heart, and I feel its calming beat. As if by some weird psychological magic, I feel my own heartbeat regulate and slow down to follow hers.

"I'm a fool for that shake in your thighs," she starts singing, and I swear I fall in love again.

"I'm a fool for that sound in your sighs,

I'm a fool for your belly," she pokes my stomach, causing me to laugh.

"I'm a fool for your love," she continues sleepily singing the song as she stares at me with her annoyingly captivating eyes.

"I wanna make this play,

Oh I know you're faded,

But stay, don't close your hands."

By the time she finishes the whole song, I've calmed down.

"I am so in love with you. Do you know that?" I ask her. I seem to have forgotten everything for the duration of her song.

She looks up and pauses, feigning thinking deeply. "Not really."

I shake my head and chuckle. "You got me so whipped. I hate you."

She yawns with a sleepy smile. "You love me."

"That's true. Go to sleep, love, I'm okay now. Thank you. You should sing to me more often. I missed it, and you sound incredible."

She shakes her head. "Not until you tell me what's bothering you. We've been together for almost 3 years already, Lauren; I know when something's wrong."

"It's... it's nothing."

"It's not nothing if your heart starts f*****g up again because of it."

"You'll think it's shallow."

"Anything that bothers you is never shallow to me."

I sigh. "It's just... Juliet. We're meeting her tomorrow and I know I shouldn't worry, but I can't help it. I feel threatened and I-I can't lose you."

"Look at me." I comply. "You're not losing me. Not to her, not to anyone, okay?"

"But..." What if she makes you happier? What if you still have feelings for her? What if you get tired of me?

"But nothing, Lauren. I can have her out of my life the second you tell me so. But you... you're with me for the long-run. You're stuck with me for as long as you want me, okay?" She kisses the back of my hand-it seems to be a habit of hers-and she smiles. "But nothing."

"Okay," I reply. "Do you still have feelings for her?"

She seems quite surprised by the question, but she chuckles and replies with a "No."

"Why did you break up?" I look into her eyes for any sign of emotion as I ask that question. Nothing. That's good, right?

"Distance, generally," she starts nonchalantly. "We were going to different universities, and we knew it wouldn't really work out if we were continents away when she stayed in France while I moved here to America."

"Do you miss her?"

"I guess I miss her, the person, but I don't miss dating her. She was my childhood bestfriend before we dated, so I think that's understandable. But I don't want to get back with her. Did that make sense?"

"Yeah. Yeah, it did." Sort of.

"Any more questions, Lau?"

"Can you sing another song for me?"

She smiles. "Anything for you."

-

Juliet is so f*****g sexy that I actually feel my self-esteem drop to the pits of hell.

Think Ruby Rose and Erika Linder's lovechild with the s*x appeal of Shane from the L Word. She is so aesthetically pleasing that I'm not even attracted-I'm furious and insecure and I just want to leave.

The moment I step in the restaurant and spot a stunning tattooed lady with an immaculate undercut and a perfectly fitted button down waving excitedly at the love of my life, I realize that I have to step up my game if I want to keep up. I just received the biggest wake up call of my life so far.

Alessandra drags me to our table where Juliet and a man in a suit are sat, and my heart gets crushed when I get a closer look at Juliet. She looks even better up close. Screw my life. I'm crap compared to Juliet. Why should Alessandra choose me?

The whole thing is a blur to me. My thoughts are clouded by my insecurities, and all I can think of are scenarios of Alessandra breaking up with me for this hell of a woman with an annoyingly smooth French accent.

Twenty minutes in, Alessandra nudges my elbow and slips her hand in mine, and I'm brought back to reality.

"Are you quite all right, Lauren?" Juliet asks me and I want to punch her face in for even caring.

"Yeah," I answer stiffly.

Alessandra faces me and I swear all my worries and insecurities disappear for a split second. "Lauren, baby? You okay?"

I nod and kiss her cheek. "Of course. I... uhh... I'll be back." I stand up and head to the comfort room. Thankfully, it's empty, so I have some time to calm the hell down and think of a game plan to show this Juliet chick that I deserve Alessandra.

I text Francine.

[Lauren Rubio]: I just met Juliet.

[Lauren Rubio]: Screw this ugh I wanna leave

[Francine ]: What omg why

[Lauren Rubio]: She hooked Ale up w some management sooooo we're w her

[Lauren Rubio]: Shes fkn perfect wtf how am I gonna compete w this????

[Francine]: So thats why she was so xcited last night...

And I swear I felt my heart drop.

[Lauren Rubio]: She was?

[Francine]: Idk she seemed rly bubbly last night when she called me lol she wouldnt stop talking about being super hyped about 2day

[Lauren Rubio]: Oh. I'll ttyl. Thanks for having my back France. Youre the best ☺️

[Francine]: Anytime Lo No. Stop. Stop. Stop.

The door opens and my eyes fly open as I turn around and I silently pray that it's not Juliet who just walked in. It's Alessandra, though, and I'm not quite sure if that's better.

"Lauren? What's wrong?" she asks worriedly as she walks up to me. She cups my cheeks with her warm hands.

I shake my head. "Nothing, Al, let's head back to the table-"

She presses me up against the sink counter. "Talk to me, please. You've been acting so weird since we got here."

"It's nothing, baby," I say as I try to free myself from her hold.

"Is it Juliet? Did she do anything to you? Do you want to leave? What's wrong?"

"I said it's nothing," I assert with a shaky voice.

Her eyes pierce through mine. "Stop lying to me," she says softly, and I break.

"Okay, fine! It's Juliet! I'm s**t compared to her and I hate this so much and I'm so insecure that it's disgusting and I feel like you want her more than you want me and that you're more excited to be with her than to be with me and... I don't know."

She just looks at me with that breathtaking look in her eyes that causes my knees to fall apart. She holds my hands and kisses them gently without breaking eye contact, and I have to lean on the counter to support myself.

"No, Lauren, listen to me. I love you. You have nothing to worry about-"

"But I saw the way you look at her-" I start but she interrupts me.

"I was barely even looking at her because I was so worried about you! Baby, I promise you that I am all yours, and all this with Jules is purely business-"

"Jules?"

Her eyes widen. "Juliet. I meant Juliet, sorry-"

I step away from her. "I'm going home."

She grabs my arm. "Lauren, stop acting like a child."

"You're the one who's still talking to your ex whom you dated back when you were a child."

She steps away from me and lets go. "What the f**k, Lauren."

Then she leaves.