This Is How You Get Her Back

Two

[from Love]: Laurennnnn I was kidding ok Drake isn't overrated i love u

[Lauren Rubio]: why am I even dating u

[from Love ]: I'm otw w spicy ramen

[Lauren Rubio]: I love you again

Before I'm able to stand up to clean my messy room for Alessandra's arrival, I hear my girl's distinct knock on the door. I put my hair up in a bun, and walk to her direction.

I unlock the door, and I find my stunning little loser outside with a single rose and a paper bag with takeout ramen. I thank her, then help her bring the food in the kitchen, and we start digging through our lunch.

"f**k, this is so good," I moan out after I take my first spoonful—chopstickful?—of noodles.

"Yeah, well, I'm an amazing girlfriend. What would you do without me?"

I roll my eyes. "I still don't know how you fit your huge head through the doorway."

She throws a crumpled up piece of paper towel to my face, missing me by a million miles. We burst into laughter.

"Your aim is as straight as you. It's incredible, really."

She lightly kicks my leg. "You're an asshole."

"No, babe, I'm being honest! Why didn't you ever consider archery as a sport? Maybe even baseball! You would be an incredible pitcher!"

Her grin widens. "I bring you food and flowers, and this is how you repay me?"

I stick my tongue out. "You love me."

"I do. But you're still an ass."

"And your aim is impeccable."

-

Bright laser lights, deafening music, libidinous young adults, and overflowing alcohol.

I drifted away from this partying lifestyle the day I started officially dating Alessandra. I haven't been to a club or a party in so long, and this scene seems so naïve now. But a wave of nostalgia still hits me. God, I used to be at every party, and I have to admit, I sort of miss it.

The minute that Alessandra and I step in the club, we are greeted by a huge number of Alessandra's friends, either shamelessly flirting with me or catching up with my girlfriend.

Alessandra introduces me to all her friends, but I start feeling awkward when they all start eyefucking me. Can't they see that I have my eyes on only one girl?

"I'll stay by the bar. Catch up with your friends," I shout to Alessandra's ear when I start to feel uncomfortable.

"Are you sure? I mean... there's alcohol and stuff there."

"I can handle myself, babe."

"I don't want you to be alone."

"It's all right. I think I just saw Ben by the bar. I'll come back in a bit. Don't drink too much." I kiss her cheek, and she nods.

"Hey, Ben!" I greet Alessandra's closest high school friend as I sit beside him.

His eyes widen and give me a once over. "Oh s**t, wow. You look amazing!"

"Don't I always?"

He laughs. "That's true. I'm glad you guys came! Do you want a drink? On me."

I feel myself tense. "I don't drink."

"That's cool. Where's Al?"

I jut my head to my girlfriend's table, and Ben nods. "Her friends kept staring at me and winking and biting their lips and it was so weird. I got uncomfortable."

"Yeah, well, you just left her with the guy that's been going for her since freshman year. Guy wearing the blue shirt. Adam. He's going to try to steal your girl, you know."

I take a look, and chuckle. "Oh, please. He can try."

"Are you seriously not jealous?"

I shake my head. "Nothing to worry about." He downs a shot of some blue colored liquid. I shut my eyes hard and shake off the bad thoughts resurfacing in my head at the sight of alcohol. Happy thoughts, I think to myself as I open my eyes.

"Huh. I've never met anyone that secure with their relationship," Ben says, not noticing my little freak out.

I shrug. "I trust my girl. I don't understand why people are always so surprised."

"You wouldn't mind if other people flirted with her?"

"Definitely not. She won't flirt back anyway."

"You wouldn't be threatened even if... that dude flirts with her?" he points at an admittedly very attractive blond man with a great build.

I shake my head.

"That girl?" he points at a beautiful lady whose aesthetic screams class and s*x, a combination quite unique to find these days.

"Nope."

For the next 5 minutes, Ben continues searching for the most attractive people in the club, and asking me if they would trigger even the slightest hint of jealousy if they flirted with Alessandra. I just laugh at him and say no.

All of a sudden, I feel a light tap on my shoulder. I turn around.

"Hey, gorgeous," a man greets me with a wide smile. He shows off his dimples and his jawline (which was probably chiselled by the gods themselves) as he eyes me lustfully. "Can I buy you a dri—"

Pathetic. "I have a girlfriend," I interrupt him as kindly as I can.

He smiles smugly. "She can join—"

I ignore the douche and turn around to face Ben, who's laughing like the little s**t he is. "Thank God I'm gay. How do straight girls deal with this?" I say.

"Relax. He's just trying to be nice—" Ben starts.

"Bye." I stand up, and head to the other side of the bar. I order a mocktail, and watch over my girl from afar.

Two minutes barely pass, and another man offers me a drink. Then another asks me to dance. Then another just bluntly asks me if I wanted to "get out of here" with him. And the list goes on. Within the next half hour, at least 20 men have hit on me, and I am honestly starting to lose my patience.

"I haven't seen you around here before," I hear a woman's voice beside me. I turn to face the source, and I see a woman around my age. I have to admit, she's very aesthetically pleasing. She somehow makes a muscle tee and ripped jeans look classy.

In my head, I cross my fingers and hope that she's just being friendly. "It's my first time here, actually." I say with a friendly smile.

She nods. "I'm Nadia."

"Lauren. What brings you here?" I attempt to make conversation.

"I'm a DJ here, actually. I'm up in..." she glances at her watch. "Half an hour. Why is a beautiful girl like you alone in a place like this? You came alone?" So much for finding someone I'd be able to have a proper and friendly conversation with.

"I'm actually with my girlfriend," I say and I swear her face dropped. "I wanted to let her catch up with her friends—" I continue, but someone cuts me off.

"Hey, babe," Alessandra appears out of nowhere, and sits on my lap. "Who's your friend?" Someone's jealous.

"This is Nadia. She's a DJ. Nadia, this Alessandra, my girlfriend," I introduce them to each other, even though I know that Nadia's probably leaving soon, given that Alessandra is giving Nadia her signature jealous girlfriend sarcastic and threatening smile that says If you don't leave my girlfriend, I will cut you with with these perfect cheekbones.

"Yeah, umm, nice to meet you. I—I actually have to go. It was nice talking to you, Lauren." Nadia immediately leaves, but manages to slip a business card in my hand. I flick it away as soon as she turns around.

Alessandra turns to me when Nadia gets out of sight. "She's pretty hot, huh?" Alessandra asks as she traces my lips. Oh no.

I decide to mess with her for a bit. "Yeah." Her fingers drop from my lips. She clenches her jaw, and I see her beginning to get insecure.

She puts on a fake smile. "Mhmm." Never mind. I can't mess with her like this.

"I'm just messing with you, my love. My heart's already with this beautiful girl, and she's all I see." She rolls her eyes, and I feel her standing up from my lap. I hold on to her waist and kiss her cheek. "I think you know her. Her name's Alessandra Lévesque, and she's the most wonderful woman I've ever met."

I see her loosening up. "Stop the annoying cheesy stuff."

"Were you jealous?"

"No."

"You were so jealous."

"I wasn't."

"Hey, I love you, and only you have all my love and attention, okay?" I kiss her neck. "These lips are all yours, Alessandra. I'm all yours."

She shuts her eyes when my lips reach a sensitive part of her neck. "You're all mine," she says.

"Do you want to get out of here? I swear I will literally punch the next person who hits on me. Only you're allowed to flirt with me."

She giggles. "Literally all my friends were drooling over you, you know that?"

"Yeah, well, f**k them. I'm over here drooling over you."

She tries to hold back a smile. "Shut up," she laughs. "Seriously though, even the married ones barely gave me any attention when you were there. I swear I heard Dianne, the super straight one who just got engaged, say she would 'leave her fiancé for a night with you.' Like, she said that to my face after you left! Those thirsty bitches."

I laugh. "I'm kind of really hot, if you haven't noticed." That's how I deal with embarrassment: with fake egotism.

"You're cuter when you're not being an arrogant s**t," she teases.

"Am I lying though?"

She shakes her head with a laugh. "Let's go home."

-

"How'd it go with your friends after I left?" I ask as I keep one hand on the steering wheel and another on her thigh. Women love this s**t.

"Well, they actually paid attention to me after a 10-minute conversation about you, so that was fun."

I laugh. "What'd you guys talk about? Come on, tell me the interesting stuff."

"Okay, so Amber was dating Nick, who was Erica's high school boyfriend, but then Nick cheated on Amber with his bestfriend Paul, and now, Amber and Erica are together while Nick and Paul are engaged," she says in one breath.

"I'll pretend to understand what you just said."

She releases a dramatic sigh, and slowly repeats what she just said.

"Oh my god. Is that for real?"

"Yeah! It was so weird because there was some weird tension among the four of them. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if they got into a foursome tonight or something!" she says.

She continues talking about her friends' crazy stories the entire car ride home. As cheesy as it sounds, I fall in love a little more the more she rambles on.

"Oh, and Juliet and I talked," she says, and my heart stops for a second. How did I not catch that? How did she look like? Did they talk alone? s**t.

Trying to act calm, I nod. "Mhmm. How'd it go?"

"We talked for like 2 minutes. She had to go early. But we caught up with stuff. She's staying in the city for a while. She got a job at some bigshot accounting firm." Great, she's an accountant. I'm just a law student. What do I have against that? "She really wants to meet you. Is that okay?"

"You two are meeting again?"

"Yeah."

"When?"

"Sometime next week. She'll text when she's free." So they exchanged numbers. Okay. "You're coming with me though, right?"

"Anything for you."