Psalm 22

Chapter 5

WE WENT TO Pindet’s office and he turned on his laptop. I looked around and expected more but really it's just his laptop, a Messina, electronic drum set and pad, some other stuff I don't know what to call, a video recorder, a condenser microphone, and an adjustable shockmount. Well, I guess that’s a lot. It wasn't messy, maybe that made a huge difference. 

We went down to business and he played it for me. We decided we should invite my friends, too. Kurt and Lea joined us shortly. 

Mixed feelings about the track so we put it aside and cleared our minds. Lea set up his laptop and borrowed Kurt’s mic. He then proceeded to make a live podcast and invited us as his guests. He didn’t mention anything about what Kurt’s plan is, he opened the show with the current events and news. 

We exchanged arguments and opinions. We tried to have a difficult conversation especially now that the world is slowly dying and the people are rotten skin deep. To end the podcast on a lighter note, Pindet played a song that was never released.

After the show ended, we talked more slowly this time and without the need to impress an audience. We exchanged ideas if Pindet really wanted to pursue another project that may or may not involve For The People’s 1993 that people despise right now. 

If he wants to collaborate again then maybe he could call less known artists and brainstorm with them, not only he can help them rise in an ocean of musical artists, he could also listen to their perspectives. Or if he wants it hard, then he can ask help from the last people he worked with—CJ’s band, the most heated group right now.

I then told them about my plan to integrate my articles into the novels I’m writing, but will spin a story around it so people will actually read it. Add a good ol’ romance and maybe my editor will give it a go. 

It was Kurt’s turn to break down. He says he doesn’t want to lose his wife but what’s the point if he’s the only one fighting. All the debts, mortgages, his old dog, these things make up for the circles around his eyes. It’s not helping that the world is in a destructive mode and people are being shitty to the core.

I couldn’t console him. God, no. Look, the wife wants out. Fine, he wants her to stay. But the wife was very clear on her intention. I always think that you can’t make people stay if they really want to leave. They will always find a way to head off. People would make you feel shitty for making them stay. It might be hard to accept this now, I told my friend, but in the long run he will realize how glad he will be to be able to break free from that relationship. Personally, if a relationship is toxic, better get the hell out of there. At this age, we choose to be mentally stable rather than being loved by the wrong person. I’ve loved a lot of people and they either stay or leave because it’s the only way and it’s a much better choice rather than trying to save a dying, old story a lot of people are already familiar with. 

When we went our separate ways, I went straight to work and slept for a few hours only. I guess this is my life now. Writing twenty-four thousand words of romance. My target is to make two stories a month so the plot won’t feel forced. I enjoy writing strong female characters now because, duh, the plot requires it. I wish I was a character in my book. I wish I were brave enough to take down a government, or a whistleblower that’s protected by the government except the boring part where I’m not allowed to go out and twenty four seven confined in a safe house. 

I don’t wanna be that character that dies in the beginning and only then the people would march down the streets and rally and shout my name. It would take my death before people start an uproar. I can’t be that person because I want to be someone who is alive and well to witness the change itself. I don’t wanna leave my friends and my family. I don’t wanna be just another speck of dust in this cold and vast universe. Yes, I want to make change, but I don’t want death to be the answer before people wake the fu/ck up. They don’t want harsh, truthful words? They don’t want articles slapping their guilty faces? 

And then they demand for equity, for not stripping them of basic human rights, they close their eyes because they don’t want to see the harsh reality that the government have been fu/cking our asses all this time and we still thank them for half-assed efforts and laws that they’re willing to bend because they’re being selective on who to carry up the law.

It’s free information, it’s facts, then why are they shutting us down? And by that I mean why did they hire trolls to bash the album that we carefully create and select that would not only entertain them but also open their eyes to the sins and wrongful uphold of justice to our own people. 

How is it that we are the villains here? They branded us like we are the bad guys where in fact we just want to spread awareness and most especially, we want more voices to join our cause. Many people and families have suffered for wrong verdicts in the court, others didn’t get a chance to file, others were paid to silence them. This is not something new yet it is normalized because we are programmed to shut up. It’s disgusting. We are disgusting because we are not actively speaking about it, even if we are, we could have been spreading wrong truths bent and fabricated by the other side. 

And that’s another thing that really irks me. Fact check, people. 

We need to fact check more than ever. People get paid to spread lies. If we’re not careful, we can spark a big discussion that was based on mountains of lies. Do you want to appear stupid because of your blabber mouth? It doesn’t hurt to probe a little bit more. Every time you unearth something you don’t know, it’s going to spiral into a big thing and then you will see that you’ve learned all these by just checking the information presented. Again, it doesn’t hurt to fact check. 

“You make good choices now, Francess,” is what my mother would always say. I am always consciously trying to make good choices even if the people are continuously saying “oh, you should’ve done this, or that, you should’ve been like this, or that.” Hearing my mother say that to me is kinda uplifting. It has always guided me whenever I doubt myself or whenever I am about to do something stupid. Words are really powerful. It honed me and I’m glad it came from a strong female role model. 

After feeling like I can’t separate my feelings from what I was writing, I decided to take a walk and visit the site from yesterday. It was clean and not even a drop of blood. I wonder what happened to him. I might do a follow up story tomorrow. For now I just want to clear my head.