EMDS - #1 - A Congressman's Temptation (MxM)

c.12

  I shuffled into the kitchen seeing Andrew standing over the stove. I hugged his waist before he turned around, pecking my lips then returning his attention to breakfast. 

  “ How is everything going? “ 

  “ Everything is going well. It’s hard to see him hurting, but he’s getting better. “ 

  “ Now I feel like s**t. “ 

  “ Andrew, it’s okay. None of us knew, and I still don’t understand. “ I flipped through the newspaper. “ Are you ready for this weekend? “ 

  “ No offense, baby, but I don’t like your surprises. “ he gave me a fake smile. 

  “ Come on, what’s wrong with my surprises? “ 

  “ If you say so, Elijah. “ he poured the coffee into his mug. “ What about you, though, any new place you want to discover? “ 

  I ignored him for the fifth time this week. He’s asked me that question every day. My phone chimed and I quickly picked it up, scanning the text that Keenan sent to me. 

  “ Everything okay? “ 

  “ Yeah, it’s just Keenan. He wants me to be there for therapy. “ 

  “ That’s cool. Has he told your parents? “ 

  “ I doubt it. I know Erica told me they both had a conversation, but it was pretty straightforward. “ I forked some of the pancakes. 

  “ That’s good, I guess? “ he shrugged. 

  “ I guess we’ll find out. “ 

  After Andrew left the house for work, I headed back to my apartment to dress for therapy. Once I made my way up the stairs, I saw Erica standing at the door. 

  “ About damn time, s**t, I’m melting. “ she whined. 

  “ How long have you been here? “ she moved aside as I unlocked the door. 

  “ Just walked up, actually. “ 

  “ Sad. “ 

  She followed me inside as we walked into my room. She flopped down on my bed, grunting loudly as she gripped the sheets. 

  “ It’s always so cold and welcoming in here. “ she sat up. 

  “ That’s because I’ve got spirits. “ I chuckled, reaching for the blue shirt and pulling it over my head. “ What brings you by, dear? “ 

  “ I’m heading back to Paris. “ she spoke quickly. 

  “ Good. “ I nodded. “ I’ll miss you like crazy, though. “ 

  “ I don’t want you to, ‘Lijah. “ she spoke. “ I want you to come with me. “ 

  “ Erica, I...... “ 

  “ Elijah, the time that I've spent here made me realize how much I miss you. How much I miss us! How much family means to me. I need you. Plus, I have been calling around and I think it’s time for you to start your own publishing company. There is no one in this world quite like you, and I know that you inspire so many people. People who want to be where you are. People who want to do business with someone who doesn’t have hidden motives and just wants to see everyone win. “ 

  I struggled to find the right words to say. “ I would love to, but I can’t just leave Andrew here. And wh-what about Keenan? “  

  “ That’s what ‘Mere is for. As for Andrew, I think he would understand. “ she spoke the last part slowly. I examined her behavior more closely and pieced the puzzle together. 

  “ You two talked already, didn’t you? “ 

  “ No. “ she rolled her eyes. “ Maybe? “ 

  “ That’s why he’s been hassling me all week about his damn birthday trip. All that talk about venturing out and starting fresh, that was all you? “ 

  “ Partially. I think you should talk to him, it’s deeper than just coming to Paris. “ 

  I looked at the clock on the wall and realized that I was going to be late. I grabbed a pair of blue jeans and my white shoes, rushing out of the apartment and over to Dr. Harrison’s office. As I rushed up the concrete stairs, I thanked God for not getting pulled over for speeding.

  “ You made it. “ Keenan smiled just as Dr. Harrison walked into the lobby. 

  “ You’ve decided to join us, Mr. Dexter? “ she held out her hand as I gripped it lightly. “ Dr. Harrison. “ 

  “ Pleaser to meet you. “ she nodded. “ Are you ready to start? “ 

  “ Yes. “ 

  Keenan stood up and grabbed my hand, guiding me into the bright office. The walls were white but seemed to illuminate with hints of browns and yellows with the reflections of the scenery on the other side of the large windows. He sat me down on the white couch as she sat down in her blue chair, picking up her notepad and crossing her legs. 

  “ Again, thank you for joining us today. Keenan has told me much about you. In listening to Keenan speak about you, we were able to uncover some feelings that he didn’t think were normal at a certain point in time. After it was revealed that he was adopted, these feelings began to cause conflict for him. Keenan? “ she looked at him. 

  “ Yes. “ he cleared his throat. He turned towards me and gave me his full attention. “ It all began when you would write to me while I was away. Your letters always seemed to brighten up my life. They were always so positive and encouraging. While I was dealing with hell, I knew you never gave up on me. Then mom and dad called and told me that we were all coming home. I grew nervous. I didn’t want you to see the person I had become. Broken. Depressed. I put on that brave face long as I could. Until I saw you. You were a beam of light walking through your apartment. My heart began to beat fast. My spirit sang. I saw life in you. I saw healing. I saw a person that would listen to every word I spoke. A person that would shower me with affection and attention. A person who was selfless. I guess, somewhere, instead of it being in a brotherly way, it was in another way. “ 

  “ Mr. Dexter, you are an empath, but your experience as an empath is quite different. As a black man who struggled with his s****l identity most of these years, and expressed them through his writing, “ she pointed to many of my books that sat perfectly upright on her bookshelf. “, you overcame adversity. You took your power back and harnessed it. That makes your energy strong. And with an aura that strong, it attracts the broken. “ she nodded for Keenan to continue. 

  “ Once I realized the mistake that I made, that’s when I turned to the alcohol. That made it worse. I met up with some random guy and had s*x with him. I liked it, but I still had feelings for women, and I couldn’t understand. I convinced myself that maybe if I performed these acts on someone that I had a personal connection with, it would be different. I was right. Erica confirmed some things, but it was you. It was you that made everything feel.......right. Comfortable. That night, I wasn’t as drunk as I had portrayed. I am deeply, deeply sorry for that, but in a sense, I’m not. “ he began to cry. “ I felt complete. Like I had found the one that was made for me. “ 

  “ Keenan, I.......I don’t know what to say. “ 

  He nodded and began to rub his legs a little, telling me that he was nervous.

  “ I’m going to step out for a minute. “ he told Dr. Harrison. He left the room as she sighed and turned her attention back to me. 

  “ Did I..... “ 

  “ You didn’t do anything wrong, sweetheart. “ she got up to come and sit next to me. “ Keenan expressed to me that he's always felt different and that he didn’t belong in the family. That’s why having those feelings were difficult for him. His heart was saying one thing, but your mother and father took care of him, and he didn’t want to betray that. After finding out he was adopted, it confirmed to him what he already knew, so those feelings grew. And having you right there, supporting him along the way? That sealed the deal. You can’t help the fact that you want what’s best for people, and we all translate that in different ways. I see you as a support. The backbone. He sees you as his voice. His comfort. It’s hard for humans to find that solace, and with men and women who deal with PTSD, it’s also common. “ she explained. 

  “ I just don’t want to hurt him, you know? It’s hard enough to see him here. Vulnerable. “ 

  “ He’s strong, Mr. Dexter. Stronger than you think. Just be honest with him. “ 

  Keenan walked back into the room, tossing the small tissue into the trash can. She returned to her chair as he sat back down next to me. There was a moment of silence before I worked up the nerve to say something. 

  “ I don’t want to send you the wrong message, Keenan. I support you because you were there for me. I support you because I know how it feels to be the different one. I support you because it’s what I would have wanted, even though I didn’t bring my troubles up to anyone, and that’s on me. I want to be the person that calls out your worry so that you feel seen. I want you to feel human, just like everyone else. “ 

  “ And that’s why I love you, Elijah. You don’t know how much I appreciate everything you have done for me. Don’t beat yourself up about the impression you gave me, I disappointed my own self, but I do want you to keep being you. Keep being that bright light in this dark world. It’s because of you that I am here, and I feel the best I have felt in my life. I feel free! I feel at peace. No matter what, I got you because you got me. “ 

  He placed his warm hands on my cheek, bringing me towards him as he planted a kiss on my forehead. As I looked into his eyes, I could see the real Keenan. The Keenan who wasn’t afraid. He was truly happy and that’s all I would ever want. As for me, I still had some things to deal with. 

  After the therapy session, Keenan and I parted ways. I headed to get something quick and easy to eat before heading home. In the middle of eating, Erica had sent me a long text saying how sorry she was and how she would love to see me before leaving. I opted out of replying. I finished my meal, paid, and decided to head over to the beach. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore is just what I needed. The wind whistling in my ear seemed to calm me down and clear my head. The next step was to confront Andrew. Not just about Paris, but I felt that we had unfinished business regarding everything that happened. I made my way over as the sun began to set. I walked inside as Andrew turned the channel of the TV. 

  “ Hey, babe? “ I would normally greet him with a kiss, but when I didn’t, he knew exactly what time it was. “ Alright, let’s talk about it. “ 

  “ I want you to tell me how you really feel. “ I spoke calmly as I looked into his eyes. 

  “ I’m still upset about Vegas. It’s not just Keenan, but everything. I feel like you betrayed me, but when I feel like that, I have to realize that you were drunk and in a place you didn’t know. I have to respect it because I’ve been there before. “ he sat up. “ Then there is us. I love you, but that’s it. I used to adore you. Think about you non-stop throughout the day. I miss you, don’t get me wrong, but not as much as I used to. And I can’t blame that on you. I just feel that with everything we are both having to deal with, we’re drifting apart. We’ve lost that spark. “ 

  I wiped away the tear slowly falling down my cheek. I nodded, looking down at my hands and beginning to play around with my fingernails. “ You spoke with Erica about Paris? “ 

  “ I think it will be a wonderful opportunity. It’s time to level up! You have a gift, kid, and I think this is the next door that you should walk through. “ he ran his hand through his hair as he sighed deeply. 

  I reached for my keys, once again unlooping his keys and sitting them down on the couch. I looked over at him as he looked at me, his grey eyes tinged with sadness. He was trying not to cry. So hard not to cry. 

  I headed to the bedroom, grabbing my black bag, and placing my clothes inside of it. I walked into the closet, grabbing all of the shoes I left. I grabbed my cologne off the dresser, tossing it in the bag and zipping it up. I hoisted it over my shoulder, walking to the door to find Andrew standing there. 

  “ I’m so sorry, Eli. I’m really sorry. “ he gently grabbed my hand, bringing it up to his lips. I pulled him into a hug as he inhaled and exhaled deeply. “ I will never forget you. “ 

  “ Likewise. “ I planted a kiss on his cheek after he released me. I picked up my bag as he moved to the side. “ Stay young, love. “ 

  “ I will. “ he smiled. 

  I walked out of the door and to my car. Before I unlocked the vehicle, I looked back to the front door, wondering if Andrew was still watching. He wasn’t. That hit my heart like a ton of bricks. I grabbed the handle, pulling the door open and getting inside, tossing the black bag into the passenger seat. I turned the ignition, making my way over to my parents. I walked inside to my mother and father playing Uno in the living room. I smiled. 

  “ Well look who decided to join us. I have some dinner in the kitchen if you’re hungry. “ my mother told me. 

  “ I’m good at the moment. Erica here? “ 

  “ Yeah, she’s upstairs. Everything okay? “ my father looked over his glasses at me. I shook my head as the expression on both their faces changed. 

  “ It will be, though. “ I smiled a little before heading upstairs. I knocked on her door as she yelled for me to come in. Once she saw that it was me, she sighed in relief. 

  “ I’m so sorry...... “ 

  “ No need to apologize, Erica. “ I hugged her tightly. We both sat down at the edge of the bed. “ I’m going. “ 

  She squealed, excited. “ I promise you won’t regret this. “ 

  “ When do we leave? “ 

  “ Friday. We have one problem, though? “ she held her finger up. “ I still haven’t told mom and dad. “ 

  “ I thought you already had that part figured out? “ 

  “ Everything happened so fast, the only thing I made time for was crying and thanking God. I felt that telling them when I found out would be too premature. “ 

  “ I can see that. “ I nodded. She grabbed my hand. 

  “ What about you and Andrew? “ 

  I sighed, deeply. “ I think he broke up with me. “ 

  “ I’m so sorry. “ 

  “ Nothing to be sorry about. I’m a little hurt, but I’m content. What can you do, huh? “ I shrugged. 

  “ Maybe this is a blessing in disguise? “ 

  “ I know it is. I’m about to own a publishing company! “ we both laughed and began to cry. “ I love you, girl. “ 

  “ I love you even more. “ I placed my head on her shoulder as we both just sat there, taking in positive energy. “ You’re going to love the men, though. “ 

  I laughed. “ Really? “