~the night before graduation
Today was the last day of school. The weather was already warm outside and the days were getting longer. Eric and I had dinner with Sebastian and Logan tonight and now both of us were in our rooms. I had been texting Madison before taking a shower. Once I was done in the shower, I walked over to my bed and plopped down on it while grabbing my phone. I opened my messages to see that Madison had sent me a text. I opened it and read it.
“I’m headed out to our spot tonight to stargaze if you want to join me.”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you out there.”
I got up off my bed and grabbed shorts to pull up over my boxers, a t-shirt from my closet, then put my shoes on. The best thing about living at the top of the packhouse now was that I didn't need to sneak out. I could walk out my door and do what I wanted without question and without anyone stopping me.
I left my room and walked down the stairs of the packhouse while thinking of the past times I had snuck out to see Madison in the meadow. We would sneak out there to talk and stargaze until late at night. Some winter nights were horribly cold, but stargazing was the best then. We would cuddle close to one another as we looked at the stars and watched clouds pass by in the moonlight. A few times in the beginning, I stole a few kisses from her soft lips.
Things changed over time and some nights it was full on make-out sessions. Last year we upped the ante and she gave me my first blow job and hand job in the meadow. She was the only she-wolf that I had tasted from her lips to her folds. She tasted amazing and I wanted more of her then, but I knew it was wrong to take what wasn’t mine even if she was willingly offering it to me. She might be my best friend, but I wanted more than just that. That was dangerous to think and want in our world when it came to mates. I knew I would be jealous as f**k of her mate when she found him. Would she be that way when I found my Luna?
I walked out to the meadow in the darkness while thinking about everything that I had experienced with Madison over the years. We were close. Some said we were too close and Eric had expressed his concern over the past month about it. He worried that my Luna wouldn’t like how close I was with Madison. I told him not to worry about it, but in reality he made me silently worry about it.
When I arrived in the meadow, I saw Madison right away as she looked up at the sky. She was standing in the middle of the meadow waiting for me to join her. As soon as I was close enough to really see her, I knew she was upset and I knew it was because I was leaving soon.
I wasn’t going to act like I didn’t see it. I was going to confront the problem as best I could. I stopped only a few feet away from her. Getting in her bubble like I always did.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
She stepped forward and face planted on my chest with a thud. She was already this upset. My heart was so heavy that I couldn't take her with me and make it better. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tightly.
“I would take you with me if I could,” I told her softly.
“I know and it sucks,” she sniffled.
“Is it more than just me leaving?” I asked to press the subject.
“I won't have my best friend anymore. I’m going to be alone, Grant.”
“You still have Logan, Eric, Jaxson and the others,” I told her.
“But I won’t have you,” she pouted.
“You know I’ll talk to you every day, but something tells me it’s more than that.”
I took her face in the palm of my hand and pulled her away from my chest to look at me. She had tears running down her face and that hurt to see. I swiped them away with my thumb so I wouldn’t see them.
Over our lifetime, I have only seen her cry a few times. Once when she lost her grandmother and another time when she scraped the skin off her shin while we were playing. She was tough as hell, so her crying was a big deal. I didn’t like that she was crying over me.
“You know damn well that this isn’t goodbye. I’m going to talk to you every day, because if I went a day without talking to you it would be boring and dull. You’re my best friend for a reason, Madison. I’m also going to keep my promise to come back for your eighteenth birthday, then I’m taking your ass to my pack with me so we can raise hell together,” I told her firmly.
She opened her mouth to say something, then looked away from me while I still had her face in my hand. Something else was going on and she wasn’t telling me.
“Talk to me, Mads,” I told her.
“I can’t go with you after my eighteenth birthday. If you find your Luna, I don’t want to make her jealous of the closeness we have. It’s been wrong of us to get this close.”
My heart broke in my chest and fell to the ground at my feet. It was the biggest blow that anyone could have ever taken from me. It was always the plan to be in the same pack together. I don’t know if I could be away from her forever.
I pulled her into a hug and stood there wondering why she was the only one that I could touch and hug like this. Anytime a she-wolf touched me, Skoll growled at them. Anytime I hugged a she-wolf that wasn’t Madison or my mom, he would growl at me. Why?
I got a bold idea and placed Madison’s face in the palm of my hand once more, my thumb under her chin as I tilted her face up to me. Without warning, I seized her lips with mine and didn’t just steal a peck. I kissed her. I kissed her deeply to see what Skoll would do. Both Wraith and Skoll were in my mind watching me and not saying a word. They were content. Was Madison mine? Was that why Skoll never got after me or her?
I parted Madison’s lips with mine and dove my tongue into her. She whimpered out as she kissed me back just as deeply. Her tongue touched mine before she invaded my mouth like I had done hers. Skoll never made a sound but just watched with his head tilted to the side. I think he was just as confused as me at the moment.
No matter what, I would talk to her every day and I would come back for her birthday. I needed to know if she was my Luna or not. I had love for her that no one knew about other than me and my wolf and Lycan.
I ended our kiss and both of us were breathing heavily. We stayed there standing against one another and hugging, not talking, but just being close was nice.
“You're still my best friend. I will talk to you every day no matter what and I’m coming back for your birthday. I’m not going to stay away,” I told her.
Who the f**k was I kidding right now? Best friends didn’t kiss like that. Best friends didn’t give each other oral in the middle of a damn field in the middle of the night.
She looked up at me and gave me a soft smile, then nodded her head. We continued to hug for a while before I felt like the air had lifted from around us and wasn’t as thick anymore.
To break the silence, I asked, “didn’t we come out here to stargaze?”
She sighed and said, “Yeah, we did.”
I slowly released her and we lay our spots in the grass while staring at the sky. We talked and pointed out constellations like always. This was her favorite thing in the world. Staring at the night sky while talking with me. We have seen hundreds of commits and a few eclipses over the years. I would have to do this while texting her or talking to her over the phone while I was gone. I think losing this with her would be a blow to both of us.
We lay in the grass for a good two hours before we decided we needed to call it a night. I wrapped my arms around her to hug her once more before we went our separate ways. I wanted more than that. I needed more than that. She made me f*****g weak.
Before she could pull away, I dipped my head once more and kissed her lips. Not as passionately as I had earlier, but it was still sweet contact that I wanted and needed. I just hope what I was doing wouldn’t bite me in the ass later on.
When I pulled back, she gave me a sweet smile before saying, “goodnight, Grant.”
We both walked from the field. She turned to sneak back into the village while I walked back to the packhouse and climbed the stairs to my room. As I walked down the hallway and approached my room, Eric's bedroom door opened and he stood there while leaning against the doorframe. He tilted his head up and sniffed. f**k.
“Aster flowers and blackthorn. Be careful and don’t do things that will cause problems in y’all’s futures,” he told me.
I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head while saying, “we were talking and stargazing.”
I was trying my best to play it off. Something told me he was seeing right through me though.
Eric sighed and said, “whatever.”
He turned and went back to his room while shutting the door. I went back into my room and closed the door before I leaned against it. I hung my head knowing that I was probably doing the wrong thing by both of us, but there had always been something about Madison.
I shoved off the door and crossed the room. I took my shoes, shirt and shorts off before crawling into bed. Tomorrow was graduation, then I was free to leave. How hard was this going to be for me?