Forsaken and Broken

FRIENDS

Alec slowly moved away from the warmth that engulfed him.

At times like that he felt like a kid stuck in a fully grown man's body. He hated alway being hopeless, afraid and unsure of himself when it came to his feelings for Jasper. He wanted to tell everything that has been in his mind, to let out all the pain and hurt. Alas, he's afraid, so afraid that he just couldn't speak directly to his own husband, which made him bottle up all the emotions and walk around with a forced smile on his face. 

Sighing softly, Alec slowly pushed himself out of the bed. He knew that leaving before Jasper woke up isn't a solution to all of his problems. And he definitely knew that he shouldn't be running away from his problems, but over time he realised that it's what he was most comfortable with. 

He tilted his head to the side where his husband was curled up, trying to get comfortable in the absence of his body. Taking a deep breath, he made his way to the bedroom door and slowly opened it, stepping out of the room and gently closing the door behind him.

With not a single minute to waste he made his way down the hall and came out to another room, it was supposed to be his room. But Jasper's parents forced them to sleep together on the same bed, even ordered the housekeeping staff to spy on them. He slowly opened the door and welcomed himself in his own room. The room was warm due to being locked, although thanks to the housekeepers everything was dust free and new looking, still empty, just like him.

If only he could have a normal life, where he could sleep comfortably next to his husband and take a shower in his room without being heartbroken and jealous about the girls his husband slept with. And to make everything worse, he had to pretend that his life was okay, he had to pretend that everything was fine and dandy. 

But then again, maybe he deserved this, maybe it's all his own fault for falling in love with his sister's boyfriend, for not declining the marriage, for hoping that he could change, for allowing Jasper to kiss and touch him, so maybe all of it was his own fault. Maybe if he hadn't born the way he was, or been like everyone else, maybe everything would have worked out fine.

Shaking his head, he opened the bathroom and stepped inside. 

As the water heated up he grabbed his toothbrush and started scrubbing it against his teeth, a little harsher than needed. Once his mouth was all clean, he spit out the foam and rinsed his mouth and the brush. Grabbing the minty mouthwash, he swirled it around his mouth for fifteen seconds. Finally when his mouth was fresh and clean he started undressing and stepped under the shower, welcoming the heat. As the water touched his scalps, he felt like the heavyweight was slowly leaving his head. Not wanting to waste time he skipped shampoo and soap, and turning the water off, he stepped out of the shower. 

He grabbed a blue towel from the rack and dried himself. After that he went into the walk in closet and picked his clothes randomly. After all he was just an engineer, and not the CEO or anything. No one is going to notice him or how good his new shoes are or the new watch he bought from Italy, all of it was reserved for his husband and the COO's of Stigma. He was just no one, and so wearing a light green button up shirt and black slacks was more than fine for him. 

Once dressed, he looked in the mirror and combed his hair before walking from the room and going down the hall. Looking down the stairs, he waited for any sign that Jasper was awake and downstairs, but the only thing he could hear was silence. So to maintain the silence, he moved down the steps as quietly as he could. Reaching the last step, he picked his pace and made his way into the kitchen. Mrs. Clear, a middle aged woman who was their cook, was chopping some vegetables. 

“Good morning Alec.” She greeted him, turning to him with a warm smile.

“Good morning, Mrs. Clear.” He replied, sitting on the bar stool by the island. 

“You are early?” She questioned, now placing sandwiches on a plate.

“Work, left early yesterday, now have to make up for it.” He answered smiling as she placed the breakfast plate and a coffee cup in front of him.

“Okay then, have a great day.” She wished before continuing to chop the vegetables she was cutting before. The kitchen once again claimed the silence until Mrs. Clear broke the silence, “I am making a new vegetable dish that I read about yesterday. It's greek.” 

“I'll try it next time,” Alec said as he finished eating his food and stood from his seat and bidding his goodbye to her, he left. 

Outside the weather was a little cold, just like Alec's innerself. He made his way to the car, opening up the car door, he got in and with a shaky hand buckled up. He didn't realise how scared he actually was about the day until he found placing the car key in the ignition proved to be harder than normal. 

If he could, he would do anything to make this suffering go away, but the pain of losing Jasper was much worse. Specifically after the time they had spent together, including all those dreamy nights. 

After taking a few deep breaths to calm his mind and fluttering hands, Alec slowly pulled from the driveway. His goal was to reach work as soon as possible, hoping and praying that by working he could take his mind off of everything that was going wrong in his life at the moment. 

As he parked his car and made his way into the huge glass building, Alec pulled the fake smile like always and walked inside the enormous glass building. He wanted to be real, but truthfully he couldn't even remember the last time he was real to himself. 

Once he made his way to the Reception, he noticed Jasper's secretary and the receptionist gossiping like always. It was such a mundane occurrence that he didn't even look in their direction while walking past them. 

“Good morning Alec!” The receptionist yelled, with an ear to ear smile directing at him.  

“Morning Sofie, and Katrina.” He said, keeping up his fake smile, although nothing was good.

“Morning Alexander,” Katrina replied, batting her eyes seductively. “Heard about the fight you had yesterday, with Green.” 

“It was just a little disagreement, nothing big.” He replied, knowing fully well that they were just looking for a little spark that can fuel their daily dose of gossip. And whatever he would say will be used against him in the future. 

“You're just being nice, can't fool me though.” She said, running her hands up and down his shoulders.

“It was nothing Katrina.” He once again repeated himself, not caring about her fingers tracing his skin.

“Are you sure?” She asked, raising her single brow, something that Alec couldn't do doesn't matter how much he tried and that was the reason he envied people who could do that. “Because I heard that, Green took it very seriously. He is also going to meet with Mr. Lightwood today.” She completed.

“Let him do whatever he wants, I don't really care.” Alec sighed, not understanding why he was wasting his time talking to them.

“It can get ugly, but I can talk to Mr. Lightwood if you want, he listens to me, you know.” She said, trying to sound innocent and sympathetic.

“I can talk to him myself, anyway thanks a lot for your concern.” He replied, pulling the same hollow smile. 

She shrugged her shoulders, pulling her hands back to herself. 

“Now you mentioned Mr. Lightwood, there is news on him.” Sofie said as Alec was about to leave, “You know,” She said enthusiastically, at the same time her voice low like she was sharing some secret news. “When I went to get my morning coffee from the cafeteria, I saw Miss. Prince and Mr. Chen fighting. Couldn't hear much, but apparently she cheated on him with boss.” 

“Are you serious?” Katrina asked, her eyes wide as saucers while Alec's heart broke into pieces as old memories hit back.

“Yes! I couldn't believe it either at first, but I heard it with my own ears.” Sofie answered, sipping her coffee delicately. 

“That b***h,” Katrina huffed, “Why do Mr. Lightwood has such a bad taste in women? Why can't he choose me?” 

“Same,” Sofie mumbled from her place.

Alec just shook his head, even though his heart was aching, he wanted to laugh at them. There was no doubt that Stacy was ten times more beautiful both inside and outside.

Probably not much inside.

“You both deserve better than that man-slut. I couldn't understand why everyone in this office is so desperate for him.” Alec let out finally, not caring if his words are going to be used against him.

Both the women looked at each other, with the same smug look plastered on their face. “Aww. . . Someone's jealous.” Sofie giggled.

“You are lucky that it's just us who heard that.” She said, once again running her manicured hands along his arms. She smiled biting her lips and got a little closer to him. “I will not tell Mr. Lightwood anything, if you promise to join us for a couple of drinks tonight.” 

Alec sighed, his head already throbbing and jaws clenched. “I have work late tonight, and I really don't care about Jasper, so you can tell him whatever you want.” 

Katrina fixed a hard look on him and was about to open her mouth when someone else spoke, “What can she tell me?” 

Alec rolled his eyes at both Katrina, who pulled her hands away from Alec and the man he wanted to avoid the whole day. But now he walked in front of him, wearing a blue suit and his signature heart stealing smile. 

“Good morning sir,” Katrina greeted, her whole demeanour taking a three sixty degree turn. “ We were talking about something and Mr. Salvatore here called you by your first name and. . . .” She trailed off, lying sleekly.

“Oh, well the thing is,” Jasper said. Smiling at Alec he put his arms around Alec and pulling him towards himself he continued, “Our parents are really close friends, meaning we have known each other since birth and we are great friends. So, it's natural for him to call me for my first name.” 

“You two know each other?” Katrina asked, looking from Alec to Jasper.

“Yes, and most of the people in the company don't know about it because we hardly see each other in here and also because apparently Mr. Salvatore for some reason don't want to be associated with me publicly.” Jasper teased, laughing at his own joke. The girls joined him too, but Alec was feeling the opposite of that.

“What's there to be proud of about associating with you?” Alec questioned, pulling himself away from Alec. “And who wouldn't be ashamed of you, a man-slut.” 

Finally, for the first time in weeks Alec felt relieved. Letting it all out was somehow satisfactory and he felt like more space was created in his lungs and he could properly breathe now. It was not him, but the anger he was bottling up for years and the adrenaline pumping through his veins.

“Alex?” 

“You knew that Stacy has a boyfriend, that she is my best friend, still you did that. You are so disgusting and shameless.” Alec screamed the last part, a few people looked at their direction (including Jonathan), stopping what they were doing. 

“I am sorry, okay. But don't scream like that, I'm the CEO here.” He whispered, grabbing Alec by his wrist. “Let's go to my office, we can talk there without creating any scene.” 

Alec clenched his jaws, anger finally taking over him. Pulling his wrist from Jasper's clutch harshly, he spoke clearly, for the first time gathering enough courage. “f**k you, you disgusting piece of shit.”